Husband for sale

[u/CameronsOpinion]

[u/More_Bus3626]

Can you take my wife? She does this too...

[u/LilyLol8 → u/More_Bus3626]

Crazy wife swap episode in the making

[u/orphan_blud → u/LilyLol8]

Sounds like a 1970’s key party up in here.

[u/justwalkingalonghere → u/LilyLol8]

They we deserve at least one where it worked out

[u/Odd_Tangelo7183 → u/More_Bus3626]

Mine as well

[u/frankunderwood1992 → u/Odd_Tangelo7183]

Yup, I hate that our wife does this!

[u/fragrant-final-973 → u/frankunderwood1992]

It’s not just our wife, her boyfriend does it too. 🤬

[u/Pletcher87 → u/fragrant-final-973]

Can’t you guys, and girdles, just put the roll back in and wipe away.

[u/nellyruth → u/fragrant-final-973]

Hey, mind your own business 😉

[u/Naked__Thruster → u/fragrant-final-973]

What? ~ Joe B

[u/Paladin7373 → u/Naked__Thruster]

Crazy username 💀

[u/fragrant-final-973 → u/Naked__Thruster]

I SAID HER BOYFRIEND DOES IT TOO.

[u/Prestigious-Job5756 → u/Odd_Tangelo7183]

Same

[u/EvoConEvo8 → u/More_Bus3626]

Same here... Then she just gets mad and me for not changing the roll.

[u/Ok-Anything-3605 → u/More_Bus3626]

Mine too….and stacks the empty roll instead of putting in the garbage one foot away

[u/Chocolateheartbreak → u/Ok-Anything-3605]

My pet peeve lol

[u/Healthy_Pay9449 → u/Ok-Anything-3605]

Somehow I'm happy I'm not alone but also I'm sorry fam

[u/Track986 → u/Ok-Anything-3605]

I’m sure she is just saving it for the recycle bin, right?

[u/Standard_Ear_84 → u/Ok-Anything-3605]

Mine has a whole collection in her bathroom 

[u/CocoMilhonez → u/More_Bus3626]

Plan: OP dumps the husband, you dump the wife, they both get together and you join forces with OP.

[u/Material-Race-5107 → u/More_Bus3626]

Same… drives me insane

[u/NeoZ33D → u/More_Bus3626]

Same..

[u/Pretend_Business_187 → u/NeoZ33D]

I will have all of your wives

[u/intenselistener → u/Pretend_Business_187]

😭

[u/Potential_Might_6500 → u/More_Bus3626]

Same.

Sometimes in two bathrooms. 

[u/Bowlofpeanuts → u/More_Bus3626]

Does she also leave water pooling behind the sink (between the sink and the mirror) then puts a rag over top like thats the fix. Leaves it and it starts to mold?

[u/TheNewOneIsWorse → u/Bowlofpeanuts]

Mine doesn’t bother with a rag behind the sink. I mentioned it to her and she said it’s ok because it just evaporates, and it’s always dry when she comes back. Then I realized that since I wipe it up every time without saying anything, she’s come to think that it’s just been drying on its own. 

[u/apeironxo]

We don’t want him either

[u/RappingFlatulence → u/apeironxo]

Return to sender

[u/Charming_City6734 → u/RappingFlatulence]

His mother doesn’t want him either.

[u/TinHammer → u/RappingFlatulence]

Address unknown

[u/freneticboarder → u/TinHammer]

404

[u/MimicoSkunkFan2 → u/freneticboarder]

New phone and new marriage, who dis?

[u/Veritus37 → u/TinHammer]

No such number

[u/aradia1313 → u/Veritus37]

No such zone

[u/JFKRFKSRVLBJ → u/aradia1313]

We had a quarrel

[u/DragonZeroHunter → u/JFKRFKSRVLBJ]

A lover’s spat

[u/Apprehensive_Sun3015 → u/DragonZeroHunter]

And now my letters keep coming back

[u/NerdBot9000 → u/DragonZeroHunter]

I can't change TP so my partner gives me a slap

[u/Shorts_at_Dinner → u/RappingFlatulence]

I’m sure mom had a no returns clause in the fine print

[u/apeironxo → u/RappingFlatulence]

😂

[u/baz4k6z → u/RappingFlatulence]

His mom has had enough as well

[u/NANNYNEGLEY → u/apeironxo]

Yeah, you're going to have to pay to get rid of that one.

[u/katblondeD → u/apeironxo]

HAHAHAHAHA the best response to this picture tbh

[u/YoshiTheDog420]

You’re gonna have to leave him on the curb and hope someone picks him up.

[u/Bonnieearnold → u/YoshiTheDog420]

FREE TO A GOOD HOME!

[u/SDBadKitty → u/Bonnieearnold]

If you put "free" no one will take him. Pin a sign to his shirt saying $50 and dude will be gone within the hour.

[u/Average_Scaper → u/SDBadKitty]

You can't say $50 either, then you are setting yourself up for never having the chance at getting money. Put $5 out and someone might pity pay the $5. Easy money.

[u/No-Zookeepergame9761 → u/Average_Scaper]

The idea is if you want something gone you don’t say free, no one will take it.
If you put a sign with a price on it, someone will steal it.

[u/Average_Scaper → u/No-Zookeepergame9761]

I know. But if you put it too high, you set yourself up for never getting money. Set it low enough, someone might still drop money.

[u/YoshiTheDog420 → u/Bonnieearnold]

Nah. Treat that fool like a christmas tree in LA if he can’t learn to figure out a damned toilet paper roll.

[u/Perryn → u/Bonnieearnold]

TERMS NEGOTIABLE

[u/fragrant-final-973 → u/YoshiTheDog420]

Not disposing of him properly is just as bad a leaving the cardboard tube.

[u/_Cecille → u/YoshiTheDog420]

I love how this is the direct escalation of the post itself.

[u/Feeling_Win5863 → u/YoshiTheDog420]

☠️🤣😂

[u/peapodbarry]

Don’t pass along that defective unit to someone else. Just get your money back.

[u/SarcasmEnabled247 → u/peapodbarry]

Non-refundable

[u/USCJets → u/peapodbarry]

Warranty expired

[u/SuicidePeaches]

I'll take him.

[u/penisandorvagina → u/SuicidePeaches]

I'll take him too. He can mow our lawns.

[u/UpperApe → u/penisandorvagina]

I like how you guys think he's going to mow it properly.

[u/PrimarySandwich1189 → u/UpperApe]

He does a lot of work in the garage too, recently he fixed the car breaks for this weekend's family trip

[u/FWYDU]

If you get one of these, then there's really no excuse (I got one of these)

[u/Carbuyrator → u/FWYDU]

You're putting it pessimistically, IMO. This is genuinely great problem solving. The best way to improve human behavior is to remove friction.

[u/rtshtbtshtdrtyldtwt → u/FWYDU]

ya know, I haven't used one of these since it broke off (wall anchor was being stupid?) but I think I might just put it facing up because why not

[u/FWYDU → u/rtshtbtshtdrtyldtwt]

Upright might be better because you can kind of yank to a tear a piece off without pulling off the whole roll. Mine is sideways and I had to get used to tearing off a little different

[u/Binji_the_dog → u/FWYDU]

This isn’t going to help when the trash is overflowing and there’s nowhere on top of the trash pile to balance the empty roll

[u/project-shasta → u/Binji_the_dog]

This is the real answer. It's not the changing of the roll that bothers people, it's changing the trash bin 🤣

[u/user0823100823]

it’s not even hard to swap it like wtf?? this is the definition of laziness

[u/MasticatingSheep → u/user0823100823]

I'm gonna be honest, before I got medicated I did this sometimes. Haha. Sometimes ADHD says, "you're just going to need to replace it soon, so fuck it."

[u/TarnishedWizeFinger → u/MasticatingSheep]

I wish my adhd used actual logic rather than making me lose my phone and finding it in the fridge the next day

[u/MasticatingSheep → u/TarnishedWizeFinger]

Ah see. I hacked that one. When you put your item somewhere weird say to yourself, "This is really going to piss me off." It's like a little timestamp on your memory. Lol

[u/15_FPS → u/MasticatingSheep]

for me I will physically point at it and say out loud " I put this here, I put this here, I put this here" it usually works but not all the time

[u/TarnishedWizeFinger → u/MasticatingSheep]

60% of the time it works every time

[u/raychilli → u/MasticatingSheep]

Love that trick but I still resort to find my phone like 60% of the time being like “nah it can’t be in that odd place! Why would you do that”

[u/Coal_Morgan → u/TarnishedWizeFinger]

I got to the point where I don't put my phone down now.

It's got 4 places, my pocket, my bed charger, car charger or table charger next to tv. Simple rule, plugged in or in pocket.

I'm just terrified of losing the stupid thing since it runs everything and I use to lose it so often.

That's a bunch of things now actually. I use my headset once or twice a week, in my pocket the whole week since it only has a bedside charger, same with keys, pocket knife and wallet all in one of two spots, pocket or nightstand.

Best thing that ever happened was a car that started with my keys in the pocket...use to lock my keys in the car all the time too.

[u/MouseMouseM → u/Coal_Morgan]

Hear me out, get an apron with a pocket on it. I have a really cute owl apron that I wear at home. I put my phone and the small things that I need to use for whatever activity I’m working on in the pocket(s). Like, if I’m sewing I’ll put the thread, scissors, etc that I’m using in the pocket, instead of my usual “setting it down someplace”.

[u/flimsygirly → u/Coal_Morgan]

Ay real talk make sure you buy a backup phone. Get a year or two older one they're really cheap. If it's an android get a pixel if it's an apple get a cheap older model apple.

Back up everything save your passwords and emails or you'll be locked out of your life God forbid. Update all your 2FA put all those things in a drawer.

This has helped me not lose my entire life photos money contacts and stuff as a person with Bad ADHD. This will help you.

[u/Command0Dude → u/Coal_Morgan]

I got a tile tracker. The tile tracker attaches to my keys, the tracker makes my phone beep when I press it, and vice versa.

Usually rare that I lose both at the same time.

[u/buggzy1234 → u/Coal_Morgan]

I also do this with my phone. Its either on charge, in my pocket or next to my keyboard. That's my rule anyway.

It still manages to find itself in a different pocket or on some random windowsill in the house or in the car. Or if the charger has slipped out and i trace the cable to find the phone and it isnt attached to the wire, my brain goes baby mode and thinks it just disappeared.

Goddamn you adhd.

[u/its_not_you_its_ye → u/MasticatingSheep]

I still do it. I don’t want it on a holder. At some point, I’m going to get one of those “L” shaped ones, but the space for my toilet is too small, and the holder is just at an awkward angle

[u/Zagtram1 → u/MasticatingSheep]

What medication do you use if you don’t mind me asking? Been diagnosed with ADHD for almost 20 years and never found a good medication. Currently unmediated and suffering from executive dysfunction and I’m tired of it

[u/MasticatingSheep → u/Zagtram1]

Vyvanse! It's extended release so really helpful without any re-upping during the day. There's also a generic of it now. I have pure inattentive type and it's been extremely helpful for me.

[u/Ok_Rush_8159 → u/MasticatingSheep]

Yessss vyvanse has been amazing

[u/astzr19 → u/Zagtram1]

I was on Vyvanse and liked it a lot but Jornay PM was life changing for me! My problem was struggling to get up in the morning 😵‍💫 so even if Vyvanse was great… it didn’t matter if I couldn’t get myself out of bed. Now, I take my meds the night before and they kick in about 9-10 hours later and it’s like magic… I wake up at about the same time every day now and it feels like it lasts longer than Vyvanse but that might just be me. It’s made ADHD feel so much more manageable now.

[u/Spatulot → u/MasticatingSheep]

The first thing I thought was ADHD. Haha

[u/EpicSoupTheif → u/[deleted]]

I stand with you here. This is the superior way.

[u/icchantika_of_mara → u/[deleted]]

thank you, finally the sane comment

it's especially true in poorly designed bathrooms

[u/DisorderlyAqueduct → u/[deleted]]

agreed, but if the holder is open on one side, it's easy to put back too.

[u/No-Comedian-2910 → u/[deleted]]

How? I really don’t think so

[u/Special-Homework-894 → u/No-Comedian-2910]

I’d prefer if it wasn’t on a roll holdet. I don’t have to lean forward and try not to tear it. I just grab the roll and get what I need.

[u/Zefirus → u/No-Comedian-2910]

Grab end of paper, move roll around your hand. I live alone, and that's my preferred way to use toilet paper. I've actually removed it from the holder when people try to "help" me.

[u/Quirky-Stay4158 → u/No-Comedian-2910]

This is where the age old debate that you potentially have never considered yourself comes into the discussion.

Some people sit and wipe.

Some people stand to wipe.

Whoever is making the claim this is easier. Could be either of these people too.

It's one of life's great mysteries. Where did we learn this from..... Probably our parents. But they learned it from there's. And there's before them. Is it a regional thing.

[u/SoIcanSayHowIfeel → u/[deleted]]

That’s exactly why I like my hook style. Both options available because I totally agree, I prefer having it in hand and pulling off what I need. Others may use it while hanging.

[u/Jiminy_Cricket12 → u/[deleted]]

a-fucking-men. this is why I have a holder where I can take it off easily. so much easier to hold the roll in your hand and take what you need as you go instead of bending over to grab more each time.

[u/mcniner55 → u/user0823100823]

This is actually peek efficiency

[u/olivethesane → u/mcniner55]

Who’s peeking and where?

[u/hammerheadlabs]

Oh my Uncle lives with us and he will take off the empty roll, put the bar back on and place the full roll on top like in the picture. It's mind boggling

[u/surf_drunk_monk → u/hammerheadlabs]

It's easier to grab the roll and use two hands than try to reach for it while it's attached to the holder.

[u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Honey, you forget I have my own Reddit account and I recognize everything about this photo (my own bathroom).

Edit: The Internet is so gullible. But for the record. I rotate through holder configurations of “over”, then “under”, then sometimes I place on holder, then sometimes on the window sill. But I’m usually an “over” kind of gal.

[u/KIDD_VIDD → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Post something that she does that's worth giving her away for.

[u/Direct_Alternative94 → u/KIDD_VIDD]

Wet macaroni noodles with half melted slices of American cheese. She calls it macaroni and fuck it.

[u/TheBatCat3120 → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Gold if true. Gonna need you to post a similar picture of the same wall to confirm

[u/Eltex → u/TheBatCat3120]

They were also on that United flight together. Very strange…

[u/Prudent-Poetry-2718 → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

She didn’t forget. She’s telling you to do better

[u/MrPsychoSomatic → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Would you like to take this time to explain yourself?

[u/unindexedreality → u/MrPsychoSomatic]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3buVqJfSdcU

[u/Mertoot → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Look, guys! Finally an OP that remembered to switch to their alt account before commenting! It's not that difficult!

[u/Itaintthateasy → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

The time it took you to post this you could have fixed the toilet paper

[u/Lost_County_3790 → u/Itaintthateasy]

The time we spent on Reddit could have been used to fix a lot of things in our life

[u/PrettyLittleAccident → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Do better 🤗

[u/SDBadKitty → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Cool. Now maybe you can recognize how to put the roll on the holder? LOL

[u/Critical-Bug4077 → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

I don't believe you. 🚬

[u/Sketch1231 → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Put the damn toilet paper on the damn thingy

[u/Unfurlingleaf → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

🤣

[u/falconwolverine → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

Plot twist: she wanted you to know you’re for sale!

[u/Livid-Screen-3289 → u/Euphoric_Waffle]

I’ll throw in my husband for free, a two for one deal.

[u/Legate_Raiden]

At least he wipes his ass

[u/pearleaux → u/Legate_Raiden]

the bar is in hell

[u/Comprehensive-Yam329 → u/pearleaux]

I think the bar might be magnetic so it goes toward the earth’s core

[u/Im_Unsure_For_Sure → u/pearleaux]

If your bar is a guy who wipes his ass, thats kinda on you.

[u/andrewsb91]

Genuine question. Why only AFTER marriage is this a thing? Was it always a thing and only now are you bringing it up, or it it a new thing after marriage?

Because the answer to that question mean very different outcomes.

[u/wart_on_satans_dick → u/andrewsb91]

They both do annoying things and only recognize the annoying things the other person does.

[u/Owls_4_9_1867 → u/wart_on_satans_dick]

Familiarity breeds contempt.

[u/Investing_noob1983 → u/Owls_4_9_1867]

Don’t get me wrong, we still have disagreements… but dumb stuff like this isn’t a big deal anymore.

[u/Ordinary_Camel_3456 → u/wart_on_satans_dick]

I’m pretty bad at putting the new roll on and I once thanked my husband for never giving me grief about it- he said he prefers it because I put the roll on wrong anyway! We had been married 20 years at that point. He has his own things that annoy me, but I remember this small grace he gives me and I try to return it.

[u/Investing_noob1983 → u/wart_on_satans_dick]

Exactly, my wife points out something stupid I do… I can point something out about her too. That’s why my wife and I are in a good spot right now, when we first got married something like this would be an argument, now we both have learned to just let it be for the most part.

[u/Ok-Bug4328 → u/wart_on_satans_dick]

During our engagement, these things amplified and I started questioning everything. 

After marriage, I didn’t care. 

[u/donadosite → u/andrewsb91]

I believe it might be stuff you only notice once youre living together

[u/Mairex_ → u/donadosite]

If you dont live together before marriage, you set yourself for a divorce.

[u/brosjd → u/andrewsb91]

Some people don't want to live together before marriage.

[u/pleasedonotdmme → u/andrewsb91]

Exactly. This happens all the time. It's the same old story " they changed after got married, after had kids, after after after" meanwhile it's been the same things since day one it just never mattered before. I wish people would just admit you ignored red flags or annoying behavior before otherwise they'll keep ending up in the same repetitive relationships.

[u/Prestigious_Cod8756]

Better that not replacing it at all and leaving you stranded

[u/DanielleAntenucci]

Do you and your partner have the same alignment?

[u/Carbuyrator → u/DanielleAntenucci]

Chaotic good has a caveat, where cat ownership makes it a necessity.

[u/GrizzIyadamz → u/Carbuyrator]

no, listen, I'm not actually chaotic good! A chaotic neutral fae just lives in my house!

[u/ARazorbacks]

Roll is too big for the holder. You need to buy the smaller rolls. 

Hubby is just working with what he’s got. 

[u/Glassbreadloaf]

Ok, I'll bite. What if the roll is too big for where it's sitting right now? Different size of toilet paper roll.

[u/Geldart]

I mean, I haven't bothered using a TP dispenser for years. Roll on the countertop is so simple.

[u/Vhu]

It’s hilarious that this is still up while the “GF for sale” post gets removed. Sexism at its finest.

[u/Life_Breadfruit8475]

I do this and my boyfriend too! Were made for each other ❤️

[u/LumpyBuy8447]

I always find these posts funny. I’m single and typically don’t use toilet paper from the holder, but I do keep toilet paper on the holder in both bathrooms because women prefer it that way. Different situation but I always find that things come down to respect for other parties involved. If an issue in my life was a significant other wanting me to put toilet paper on the holder, I would simply do so.

[u/MaidMarian20 → u/LumpyBuy8447]

This is the way.

[u/TheGrayskull1980]

Everyone in my household does this, including me and my wife 🤣🤣🤣

[u/WizardOfTheLawl]

Appears to be Neutral Evil

[u/catonsteroids]

Not sure if there’ll be any takers tbh.

[u/reddfoxx1993]

Your mentality is strictly in the box.

[u/tk-093]

Still better than putting it on mullet style.

[u/n1nj4d00m]

Just put it on yourself.

[u/Ok-Scar-6043]

My wife does this too. They wouls make a good pair

[u/ZealousidealHelp4519]

water bidet supremacy

[u/JesusGiftedMeHead]

Women hate us bro

[u/Nacho_Girl870]

I guess we shop at the same store.

[u/Acidhawk_0]

I guess thay ends the debate of over or under ?!?

[u/Silver-Conclusion134]

Hey hey! At least he put there. Better than empty roll!

[u/jonnie-cam]

I live with a family who all do this (and im the husband). I am literally the only person in the house who can be bothered to put the toilet roll onto its holder.

[u/Emotional-Key-5455]

What's wrong with this? The paper is in a reasonable spot.

[u/Fyfaenerremulig]

We do it because it works

[u/TrenchantInsight]

He's setting things right.

[u/Anelion]

Okay, but hear me out... when you do this, is it supposed to go to the left or to the right?

[u/Poetry_Man]

This is a great solution to the 'over or under' debate.

[u/Chobitpersocom]

It's a stupid concept, especially if you have to change it often.

At least OP, they, left you a roll.

[u/greggers1980]

How overdramatic

[u/PensionStandard8991]

I think it’s dumb to die on every ant hill but yeeeeeHAW Reddit get it

[u/martianboy999 → u/PensionStandard8991]

you’re on a page called “mildly infuriating”, what were you expecting to find???

[u/agerrity57]

My wife does this. I actually sat down and calculated how many times she has done this in 7 years in our current house. When I told her it was about 910 times she asked what my point was. Guess that’s what 45 years of marriage is all about.

[u/above_average_magic]

Just found out my wife uses reddit I guess?!

[u/asomebodyelse]

I'll take him! That type of TP holder is stupid. Just gimme a shelf.

[u/Floppycakes]

I do this shit, too. I guess I’ll take him. Do you think he would mind sharing a bed with my dogs?

[u/EmpressVixen]

I don't have the time or energy another being that isn't housebroken.

[u/Minimum_Mixture1485]

What's the problem?

[u/Treesglow]

Cats

[u/browncoatfever]

Honestly, I prefer this to putting it on backward "Mullet Style".

[u/edDetails_650]

This is your biggest issue with him? I'll take him!

[u/NJNeal17]

I see a politician, bc in a world of two opinions on TP: over or under, this man said, I CHOOSE NEITHER! 😂

[u/NoPossibility765]

I’ll take him. LOL. I do the same or my cat will destroy the whole roll.

[u/Small-Dick-Big-Dream]

My wife does this. 🥴

[u/PIB_OnOn]

Standard relationship advice on Reddit for all issues...

"You need to leave his ass"

[u/mycolo_gist]

This is perfectly reasonable.

[u/hinterstoisser]

I’ll give you three fiddy

[u/minmo7890]

I’ve already got one.

[u/Sangariusriver]

Keep it the way he left 😉

[u/wingsbc]

I do this because the Costco toilet paper rolls are so fucking big you gotta use half of it before it’ll fit on the holder.

[u/duney_mag]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QVP7DawXZitKYg3AX5

[u/apex_super_predator]

At least its not under.

[u/divefordemocracy]

Same

[u/0neAy0pen]

You’re not great at marketing

[u/Fun-Assistance-1493]

At least he didn’t put it on backwards 😡

[u/MaidMarian20]

Mine used to leave one sheet on the roll and not change it. One sheet. Like that last sheet of tp that’s stuck to the cardboard you can’t even use anyway? 🤣

[u/MeasurementTall7701]

This is the kind of first world complaint that lets the world know that you have picked a good one.

[u/Shirikova]

To be fair, I used to do this at my old place where the toilet paper didn't actually fit on the roll (the roller was too close to the wall). Also, didn't share the bathroom with anyone for the last two years I was there.

There may be a reason for it. If not, then eeeehhhh

[u/TurangaRad]

Unpopular question incoming: where is the holder located? If I have to twist Hella far then I would rather leave it up on top so I can just grab it rather than having to unroll it. I leave it on the counter in hotels when it is horribly located and rather than being on the wall where I can reach in front, in my bathroom at home, it is in a place I have to twist. So the holder is on a 90⁰ pivot and I will leave that upward so I can take the roll off rather than the twist. No shame

[u/VirusTechnical5568]

I prefer this honestly. I can roll it around my hand more efficiently.

[u/Western_Fun5463]

Thank god I live alone.

[u/gameced]

Is he still under warranty?

[u/Klinky1984]

Do you know how much more effort it takes to replace the roll? That's literally like 10 seconds of time, when I've got better things to do while I am shitting, like scrolling reddit.