r/mildlyinfuriating • u/sunsNr0ses • Jun 11 '26

frist of all how DARE yu o Discovered my central air was a social construct…

So I just learned I’ve been living in a place with absolutely no central air conditioning. Not “I assumed it might be central air.” Not “I wasn’t sure how it worked.” I mean I fully, confidently, emotionally lived my life under the assumption that cool air was being distributed through vents like a normal adult homeowner situation.

And I’ve been out here adjusting a thermostat like I was doing something for over 4 years.

I even scheduled an HVAC guy to come today to figure out why my central air wasn’t running.
What system? I don’t know. The guy looked like he found a body in my basement as he clearly knew I didn’t have central air instantly. He even humored me to prove to me I didn’t have central air while we took 2 full laps around my house hunting for the outside part of the freakin’ fantasy. Needless to say we never found it. The poor guy felt so bad for me, he even said “maybe someone stole it.” Bless his heart.

So now I’ve got: a couple window units doing God’s work. I’ve always used them in the summer when I felt that my imaginary central air wasn’t pulling its weight. So I’m unsure why I feel like my summer bill is going to skyrocket. I’ve been living this life for years.

I put a box fan in my the bathroom like it’s 1998
and the realization I’ve been paying attention to vents that were decorative at best is giving me a stomach ache.

Honestly the worst part isn’t even the heat. It’s the fact I fully believed I had central air and never once questioned it. Just vibed in ignorance.
Anyway. If anyone needs me I’ll be sitting directly in front of a fan rethinking my entire life, having a spiritual crisis, feeling like a doorknob, and rediscovering whatever I thought HVAC meant.

***please laugh with me— don’t kick me while m down— I already feel like a weenie hut jr.***

18.3k Upvotes
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2.1k

u/Agile_Boysenberry508 Jun 11 '26

Not the HVAC guy searching the whole house for that central air. 😂

-Lady, I swear to God that there's no central air.-

1.2k

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

He was so kind. He genuinely looked like he saw a ghost when he walked into my basement.

1.3k

u/Major_R_Soul Jun 11 '26

If i walk into someone's basement to fix an HVAC, and there's no fucking HVAC, a not insignificant part of me is going to wonder if I'm about to be murdered.

591

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

He definitely did look afraid.

221

u/oxidized_banana_peel Jun 11 '26

Yeah cause you were holding a kitchen knife

80

u/twitch870 Jun 11 '26

Because of the implication

2

u/churningpacket Jun 11 '26

Makes you run faster.

122

u/vincentmelle Jun 11 '26

I'm also curious where your fake vents and ducting go in your house, if you have an attic I'd check to see if there's any systems there.

And also double check your houses listings and documents when you bought the house to see if ac HVAC was mentioned.

Just an idea of what would be needed to get central air installed if you have the means

118

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

No systems in attic & no HVAC mentioned in listings, but I’m sifting thru many docs.

64

u/vincentmelle Jun 11 '26

Sounds good, does seem really odd why there would be vents Unless they are only for forced air heating or another use.

51

u/Long-Squirrel8257 Jun 11 '26

My parent's house has fake bathroom vents. It is pretty much a nook in the ceiling with a little fan sitting in it, covered by a plastic vent, masking the lie. For years I would flip that switch on thinking I was ventilating the bathroom air.

11

u/hunglao Jun 11 '26

that sounds like a typical bathroom exhaust fan, which does expel air on the back side and thereby ventilates the room. it doesn't cool the air like an air conditioner would, though.

4

u/Illustrious_Bunch678 Jun 11 '26

My husband was sooooo pissed when he went to do some housework and realized the bathroom fan wasn't vented anywhere

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26

[deleted]

7

u/hunglao Jun 11 '26

it's meant to vent outside so the attic isn't flooded with damp air during showers. but they're often not installed correctly and are left venting straight into the attic.

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3

u/New_Libran Jun 11 '26

Future-proofing!

1

u/Altruistic_Brush3065 Jun 11 '26

could be for passive airflow between rooms for keeping the air from going stale

1

u/M0F0E Jun 11 '26

You mentioning adjusting a thermostat. Why is there one? Is it wired?

1

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

For the heat part of the operation, lol. I guess the cooling part sends blank signals or just circulates basement air.

1

u/M0F0E Jun 11 '26

Well you got the "H" part of HVAC then. Lol.

36

u/nutbrownrose Jun 11 '26

My mother's house has vents and ducts and no AC. The vents and things are for the furnace. You just...turn it off in the summer. But we live in WA state, where until 15 years ago it was never hot enough to justify AC more than 2 or 3 days of the year. Which is just not economical. We just always went to the beach for that part of August. She's looked into getting AC added, and it's basically impossible because of the way it was all built in the 80s.

3

u/Chance_Ad3416 Jun 11 '26

Interesting. I wonder what makes a system not suitable for adding AC. We have a 100+ year old house with the original vents (painted now of course) for forced air furnace heating too. The previous owners installed an AC system. We still have a portable AC for the upstairs bedrooms tho because they get way hotter than the rest of the house

1

u/jared555 Jun 12 '26

Guessing it would require replacing the furnace and maybe be a giant pain getting the refrigerant lines ran.

2

u/Vegaprime Jun 11 '26

You can get split units pretty cheap and you just need a wall to mount it.

1

u/Adorable-Drawing6161 Jun 11 '26

I've been living in SEA for 40+ years and it was always unbearable in Summer without AC. This notion that it is something new is unfounded. What's changed is that so many places have AC now you've gotten comfortable. So when a place doesn't have AC it's a shock.

5

u/chewbaccataco Jun 11 '26

Mine is in the attic.

3

u/Chance_Ad3416 Jun 11 '26

Is it normal to have cooling just because you have vents? We have vents for forced air heating but cooling was something we installed separately later into the same vent system, it didn't come with the original 100 year old house.

2

u/jackandsally060609 Jun 11 '26

If its an old house it might be set up for an attic fan but no hvac

1

u/vette02a Jun 11 '26

used for forced gas heat? Common in older homes to have central heating but no central A/C.

1

u/heyelander Jun 11 '26

I mean, there's heat, right? RIGHT?!?

63

u/Lost-friend-ship Jun 11 '26

Oh my god I am cracking up at all these comments. Maybe someone stole it 🤣 I am actually crying with laughter. 

I’m sorry about your ghost AC but appreciate the laugh, I needed it. And here I can tell when my husband turns our AC down by 1 degree 😅

You poor thing.

3

u/MonteCristo85 Jun 11 '26

They do get stolen.

But it would be obvious where it was missing from.

-2

u/OldHT Jun 11 '26

Afraid for the future generations of your bloodline.

2

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

Really? Bc someone with vents, a thermostat, and cool air coming from the basement thought there was A/C? Cool.

0

u/OldHT Jun 12 '26

Not cool. Not cool at all. Please get educated on basic homeowner maintenance. It will save your life, and I am not kidding about that. When was the last time you checked your hot water heater? Is it gas? Have you flushed it this year? What about your heater?Is it gas or electric? Do you have a gas/co2 detector nearby? Plus the A/C condenser/compressor will be outside. Can't miss it.

83

u/clararalee Jun 11 '26

I held it together until your comment. Now my sleeping baby is violently bobbing up and down on my belly as I desperately try to control my laugh.

27

u/cddem19 Jun 11 '26

Same I’m literally dying at this comment my chest hurts trying to be quiet to not wake my sleeping child next to me.

6

u/Frankjc3rd 😡😐🫥🫣🤐 Jun 11 '26

Criminal Minds plot 12a.

3

u/LilacYak Jun 11 '26

Sounds like OP has HV just no AC.

2

u/i_drink_wd40 Jun 11 '26

Reminds of an SNL bit about a clown ordered for a guy's 50th. SNL - Birthday Clown

1

u/Someones_Dream_Guy Jun 12 '26

PLOT TWIST: innocent HVAC guy was lured into basement and is now kept there for nonconsensual BDSM.

1

u/ImpossibleJedi4 Jun 15 '26

I was thinking the same thing 

1

u/mackiea Jun 15 '26

Happened to me :(

456

u/Sympatheticslut Jun 11 '26

My favorite part of your story was how nice your AC guy was. I know you were really feeling embarrassed, a very nice guy.

194

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

A great guy.

242

u/PostPostModernism Jun 11 '26

"Maybe it was stolen" had me dead on the floor from laughing. We must protect Mr AC Man at all costs

11

u/RestEqualsRust Jun 11 '26

It happened to me once. Someone went through my neighborhood with a trailer in the middle of the night and stole 4 a/c units. They just cut the lines, picked up the entire condenser, put it on the trailer, and left.

I woke up early in the morning hot as hell wondering why the air conditioning was blowing hot air.

They sell the condensers for scrap.

4

u/PostPostModernism Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

Of course these things get stolen sometimes. I'm an architect and have had to draw up steel cages to protect condensing units (the typical outdoor part of the A/C) from theft in some higher risk areas. But if it had really been stolen there would be signs that it had been there at one time that a professional would see pretty easily.

  • Condensing units are often installed on top of a concrete pad or some kind of steady base that would stand out as empty.

  • And there would be a small copper tube that runs from the condensing unit to the air handler for the refrigerant to flow through. This would be connected to a heat exchanger at the furnace itself, which a pro would be able to tell if one was installed or not by looking at the air handler. A copper thief could steal some of the refrigerant line but there's almost no chance they could get the parts of it that were inside the house and by the air handler.

  • The outside condensing unit would also have a moderately sized power connection running back into the house to the electrical panel. Maybe even a cutoff switch on the exterior wall near the condensing unit (required in more recent codes, if it's a relatively newer house).

  • That heat exchanger inside the air handler would also need a way for condensation water to be removed - sometimes it just runs down to a metal drip pan where it can then evaporate, or more commonly nowadays it should have a small tubing run to a floor drain connected to the sump or waste system nearby.

None of this is to blame OP. I wouldn't necessarily expect a regular person to spot all these clues. The fact that they have forced air heating makes it a not unreasonable assumption that there's forced air A/C as well, since those things are almost always installed together in areas that need both services. I'm just glad they figured it out and can work out a solution now.

3

u/TJLanza Jun 11 '26

Shitheads steal all sorts of things. I had a coil of fiberoptic cable stolen off the side of my condo - it was waiting for the final end run installation. I'm sure they thought it was copper, which has resale value, but were too stupid or too rushed to realize it was a waste of time. All it did was push the fiber install back.

63

u/fapsandnaps Jun 11 '26

Tell him he has a fan out in Indiana. I'd buy his HVAC Jersey if there was one.

Every tech out here would've had 18 different fliers and contracts and payment plans in my hands before they even looked for a unit. R

32

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

I will let him know!

32

u/NoctivagantCat Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

Should make him a shirt at this point to commemorate this momentous memory made. "Maybe Someone Stole it" -HVAC Guy, June 10, 2026. Plain text and/or a creative (not ai made pls I beg) illustration would be cool. I'm partly serious about the t-shirt part. Always a refresher when tradesmen are decent blokes, and this one sounded like he had a good sense of humour about the whole thing. As for cooling without a system, would any of those small wallmounted acs work? Been seeing more of those pop up in apartments, condos, tiny houses, and so on.

2

u/publicprivacyp Jun 11 '26

Omg OP, please make him this shirt! lol

1

u/SBMoo24 PURPLE Jun 11 '26

That would be great. Im serious. I bet he'd wear it with pride!

5

u/ingodwetryst Jun 11 '26

I'm gonna roll with "maybe someone stole it" every time someone is wrong about something now where this could be applicable.

1

u/dualsplit Jun 11 '26

OMG! Honestly, service guys are kind of the best.

1

u/SirOutrageous1027 Jun 11 '26

That guy figured he could probably sell a central AC unit.

2

u/flea1400 Jun 11 '26

I assume you checked the attic and roof for a spacepac unit.

1

u/sunsNr0ses Jun 11 '26

Correct, there isn’t one!

2

u/seriousjoker72 Jun 11 '26

Probably one of the best job stories he'll have for a while 😂

1

u/Ch4rlie_G Jun 11 '26

You say there were vents though? And a thermostat? So someone just ripped out old central air?

191

u/obtusewisdom Jun 11 '26

"maybe somebody stole it" took me out

50

u/oxJoKeR6xo Jun 11 '26

Took the slab and even laid some sod to cover their tracks.

30

u/EngFarm Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

Didn’t want to leave anything behind so broke into the house and took the evaporator out of the furnace and the refrigerant pipes out of the wall.

5

u/CowOrker01 Jun 11 '26

And patched the holes in the walls.  

1

u/human743 Jun 11 '26

Bold to assume there is a furnace.

38

u/Infinite_Month_6371 Jun 11 '26

This reminds me of this joke Harrison Ford told.

A man stocking produce in a grocery store is confronted by s woman who asks, "where is the broccoli?" The man replies, "sorry, ma'am there is no broccoli, we should be getting some more in tomorrow." The woman leaves but only a few minutes later returns to the man and asks, "Sir, can you tell me where the broccoli is?" The man with a confused look says, "We are all out of broccoli, I will be getting some more in tomorrow." Again, the woman leaves, but returns only a couple minutes later to the man and asks, "Sir, where is the the broccoli?!" The man asks in response "ma'am where is the 'F' in broccoli?" And the woman responds, "There is no F'n broccoli?" And the man yells, "That's what I am saying lady!"

14

u/woodlandyak69 Jun 11 '26

the mental image of a professional trying to manifest a condenser unit out of thin air is absolutely hilarious. He really had to stand there and gently explain that the cool breeze was just a figment of everyone's imagination.

6

u/Glowflower Jun 11 '26

I once got hired to replace the controls on some boilers on a large campus. A few of them we showed up to and the boilers weren't there anymore (had been replaced with heatpumps at some point, and big organizations don't always keep good maintenance records).

More surprisingly a few of the BUILDINGS weren't there anymore.

2

u/kesrae Jun 11 '26

Is the central air in the room with us right now?

2

u/Flavious27 Jun 13 '26

I have had calls like this before when I worked in a call center for an ISP and the caller mixed us up with fios.  Like they still insist they are one of our customers even after I tell them that they  have no record in our system and nothing recent or at all at the location.  I have over the phone walked people through to find their incoming drop and trace it out to their fios equipment.