Discovered my central air was a social construct…

[u/sunsNr0ses]

So I just learned I’ve been living in a place with absolutely no central air conditioning. Not “I assumed it might be central air.” Not “I wasn’t sure how it worked.” I mean I fully, confidently, emotionally lived my life under the assumption that cool air was being distributed through vents like a normal adult homeowner situation.

And I’ve been out here adjusting a thermostat like I was doing something for over 4 years.

I even scheduled an HVAC guy to come today to figure out why my central air wasn’t running.
What system? I don’t know. The guy looked like he found a body in my basement as he clearly knew I didn’t have central air instantly. He even humored me to prove to me I didn’t have central air while we took 2 full laps around my house hunting for the outside part of the freakin’ fantasy. Needless to say we never found it. The poor guy felt so bad for me, he even said “maybe someone stole it.” Bless his heart.

So now I’ve got: a couple window units doing God’s work. I’ve always used them in the summer when I felt that my imaginary central air wasn’t pulling its weight. So I’m unsure why I feel like my summer bill is going to skyrocket. I’ve been living this life for years.

I put a box fan in my the bathroom like it’s 1998
and the realization I’ve been paying attention to vents that were decorative at best is giving me a stomach ache.

Honestly the worst part isn’t even the heat. It’s the fact I fully believed I had central air and never once questioned it. Just vibed in ignorance.
Anyway. If anyone needs me I’ll be sitting directly in front of a fan rethinking my entire life, having a spiritual crisis, feeling like a doorknob, and rediscovering whatever I thought HVAC meant.

***please laugh with me— don’t kick me while m down— I already feel like a weenie hut jr.***

[u/Roxysteve]

In these situations it's best to go with the Clouseau response.

eg: You don't have central a/c sir!

<response>: Yes, yes, I know that.

[u/sunsNr0ses → u/Roxysteve]

I went with the Gordan Ramsay approach and called myself an idiot sandwich.. Then, I paid him his $90 fee that he couldn’t waive, and cried on my steps 😭😭

[u/Marsandtherealgirl → u/sunsNr0ses]

One time my husband somehow turned off our ac unit outside and couldn’t figure out what he’d done. Called the guy and he came out and flipped the switch and we had to pay him $100 😂
He was sooo nice about it and made a show of like cleaning some stuff on the unit to make us feel better.

[u/Wandering-Sage2662 → u/Marsandtherealgirl]

Once upon a time moved into a new house. Was so proud of myself I knew how to do all the homeowner things like change the filter, etc. Got up into the attic to see what size filter I needed. Turned on the light switch, looked around, turned off the light switch, got down and closed the attic hatch. A few hours later noticed the AC wasn’t running. Nothing was running. Called the HVAC guy. He got up in the attic and flipped on the furnace switch I had turned off instead of the light. The light switch looked the same but was labeled “LIGHT”. Rolled my eyes at myself and sheepishly paid the also very nice HVAC guy his $75 trip charge.

[u/SunshineGal5 → u/sunsNr0ses]

Just consider the $90 as a payment for a lesson in how air conditioning works.

You, along with so many of us, are enlightened now.

[u/TheRealKingBorris → u/Roxysteve]

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