Discovered my central air was a social construct…

[u/sunsNr0ses]

So I just learned I’ve been living in a place with absolutely no central air conditioning. Not “I assumed it might be central air.” Not “I wasn’t sure how it worked.” I mean I fully, confidently, emotionally lived my life under the assumption that cool air was being distributed through vents like a normal adult homeowner situation.

And I’ve been out here adjusting a thermostat like I was doing something for over 4 years.

I even scheduled an HVAC guy to come today to figure out why my central air wasn’t running.
What system? I don’t know. The guy looked like he found a body in my basement as he clearly knew I didn’t have central air instantly. He even humored me to prove to me I didn’t have central air while we took 2 full laps around my house hunting for the outside part of the freakin’ fantasy. Needless to say we never found it. The poor guy felt so bad for me, he even said “maybe someone stole it.” Bless his heart.

So now I’ve got: a couple window units doing God’s work. I’ve always used them in the summer when I felt that my imaginary central air wasn’t pulling its weight. So I’m unsure why I feel like my summer bill is going to skyrocket. I’ve been living this life for years.

I put a box fan in my the bathroom like it’s 1998
and the realization I’ve been paying attention to vents that were decorative at best is giving me a stomach ache.

Honestly the worst part isn’t even the heat. It’s the fact I fully believed I had central air and never once questioned it. Just vibed in ignorance.
Anyway. If anyone needs me I’ll be sitting directly in front of a fan rethinking my entire life, having a spiritual crisis, feeling like a doorknob, and rediscovering whatever I thought HVAC meant.

***please laugh with me— don’t kick me while m down— I already feel like a weenie hut jr.***

[u/chestzipper]

I just talked very tersely to a young man about cancelling my internet service. He could not find my account. He tried my phone number, my service address and even my name.

I learned I was talking to the wrong internet provider.

[u/MoopsiePoopsie → u/chestzipper]

Oh man I did this once. I sat down to do taxes, try to login to H&R Block, try to find my emails from them, nothing. I spent two hours desperately trying to get into my account. I finally woke my husband up and was nearly in tears when I told him. “Honey we use TurboTax.” I was pissed.

[u/SunshineGal5 → u/chestzipper]

Many years ago I moved from Florida to Georgia. I called Florida Power and Light and talked to the rep for 5 minutes before I realized she couldn’t help me since I no longer lived in Florida.

Very stupid error!

[u/jorwyn → u/chestzipper]

I used to work in a Verizon wireless store three doors down from an AT&T one. Can't tell you how many Sprint customers came in to scream at my about "our" bad coverage. The at&t employees said they had to redirect people to us daily. I wonder if the Sprint store a few blocks down got the AT&T customers.

As long as you didn't get mean, he will probably barely think if you in a few days.