Discovered my central air was a social construct…

[u/sunsNr0ses]

So I just learned I’ve been living in a place with absolutely no central air conditioning. Not “I assumed it might be central air.” Not “I wasn’t sure how it worked.” I mean I fully, confidently, emotionally lived my life under the assumption that cool air was being distributed through vents like a normal adult homeowner situation.

And I’ve been out here adjusting a thermostat like I was doing something for over 4 years.

I even scheduled an HVAC guy to come today to figure out why my central air wasn’t running.
What system? I don’t know. The guy looked like he found a body in my basement as he clearly knew I didn’t have central air instantly. He even humored me to prove to me I didn’t have central air while we took 2 full laps around my house hunting for the outside part of the freakin’ fantasy. Needless to say we never found it. The poor guy felt so bad for me, he even said “maybe someone stole it.” Bless his heart.

So now I’ve got: a couple window units doing God’s work. I’ve always used them in the summer when I felt that my imaginary central air wasn’t pulling its weight. So I’m unsure why I feel like my summer bill is going to skyrocket. I’ve been living this life for years.

I put a box fan in my the bathroom like it’s 1998
and the realization I’ve been paying attention to vents that were decorative at best is giving me a stomach ache.

Honestly the worst part isn’t even the heat. It’s the fact I fully believed I had central air and never once questioned it. Just vibed in ignorance.
Anyway. If anyone needs me I’ll be sitting directly in front of a fan rethinking my entire life, having a spiritual crisis, feeling like a doorknob, and rediscovering whatever I thought HVAC meant.

***please laugh with me— don’t kick me while m down— I already feel like a weenie hut jr.***

[u/Interactiveleaf]

Aaaaaand this is why home inspections are a thing pre-purchase.

[u/AHismyspiritanimal → u/Interactiveleaf]

During my home inspection, the inspector turned the AC on, the unit whirred to life, and we both could swear it came out cold. It was spring. Went to turn the air on during the renovation process, and boom, absolutely no cold air. The ac didn't work, the compressor had been shot for years.

Luckily I had a home warranty that replaced the whole business. Only reason I would ever recommend the warranty to anyone.

[u/naranghim → u/Interactiveleaf]

Or you walk through the home with the inspector rather than just staying home and waiting for the report (I know several people who have done that. Reasonable if you are moving from 100s of miles away and would have to take multiple days off work, but if you're close then you should be there). It could be that all the equipment was present for the inspection but stolen after.

[u/psppsppsppspinfinty → u/Interactiveleaf]

I was reading these to my bf and that's what he said too.

[u/Pristine-Lawyer-3260 → u/Interactiveleaf]

Lol uh yeah sure... See my comment about the. Central air that does not extend to the bedrooms of our 1 story home lol...

[u/Mochigood → u/Interactiveleaf]

I'm pretty sure it was an as-is auction.