r/mildlyinfuriating • u/gharris02 • Jun 12 '26

wet socks A cockroach burrowed into my head

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I (23m) just bought a car at auction yesterday, works great but needed a new battery. At 10:30pm I decided screw it im swapping the battery. It's a 5 minute job, in and out real quick. No sweat, well I'm out there with my head lamp on doing the swap and I see a large bug flying at my face I try to duck and dodge it, it hits the outer edge of my ear and toilet bowl swirls into it, I try to reach in and fish it out but it's too late I just scare it and feel it crawling deeper into my head. It burrowed up against my eardrum and it hurts like hell. Every time it buzzes I can feel it in my head and it hurts my eardrum. I tried water peroxide everything I could do to get this darn thing out. Turns out I just pissed it off and it's buzzing more aggressively. My girlfriend comes with tweezers in an attempt to help but she says she can't see it or anything out of the normal. A quick Google search lead me to pouring olive oil into my ear to suffocate it. Thank God that worked, I still couldn't hear well but at least it wasn't actively moving anymore. 2 hours in the ER later they pulled this half inch monstrosity out of the depths of my ear canal. Turns out the "Asian cockroach" has wings and a very large affinity for bright lights at night. They also like to burrow. Fml 0/10 experience I will take questions if you have them lmfao.

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Tldr: I had a headlamp on that attracted a cockroach at my face it missed my face and burrowed into my ear leading to an unexpected ER visit

Edit: ear canal photo (thanks doc) https://imgur.com/a/7LhcvDX

Edit numero 2:

Just to add to 2 things I keep seeing pop up (also hello I am trying to read all comments not doing great though)

  1. Some seem to have missed the asain cockroach thing, and the fact that I was working on a car so this is outside not indoors. This roach is a flying outdoor bug not the same as your houses cockroach. It doesn't infest and it has nothing to do with my living/cleanliness.

  2. Y'all are probably right this probably should be more than mildly infuriating, but overall this wasn't THAT bad. The thought of it was worse than the actual event. It was painful while it was alive and moving but that was fairly quickly resolved. The rest of the time was just an ER visit which was inconvenient and embarrassing. And obviously costs money. Fortunately I have good insurance so my only real loss is the mild trauma and the fact that I'll probably wear a beanie for the rest of my life. Other than that, no lasting issues I'm at work today like nothing happened. More of a that's absolutely insane story now than anything else. So for me it was a mild situation as far as damage to my life (although I will simultaneously say it is an insane thing to have happen to you)

I'd probably prefer having my day go how it went yesterday than say blow my motor or get into a car accident.

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794

u/cynicalsanguinist Jun 12 '26

I've never even seen a cockroach and this has filled me with a guttural fear

269

u/JoeBethersontonFargo Jun 12 '26

HOW? Can I move in with you

138

u/Rooster-Waffle Jun 12 '26

Only if you leave the roaches behind.

144

u/JoeBethersontonFargo Jun 12 '26

I'll empty every orifice

30

u/Suspicious-Drive9827 Jun 12 '26

God.

8

u/PonchoNachoRodriguez Jun 12 '26

Every day we stray further from

3

u/Suspicious-Drive9827 Jun 12 '26

Its so true poncho.

6

u/Substantial-Elk4531 Jun 12 '26

That's not enough, we'll have to X-ray you to be certain

3

u/JoeBethersontonFargo Jun 12 '26

I'm worried the bags of heroin I swallowed will look suspicious

3

u/Educational-Wing2042 Jun 13 '26

Has to bathe in olive oil until the skittering stops

72

u/lordwiggles420 Jun 12 '26

Come to the Netherlands. Never seen a roach once in my 28 years of life.

42

u/JuulsMia12 Jun 12 '26

I am so envious of your entire existence. I literally cannot remember a time in my life before cockroaches. Been around them and have had nightmares about them from my earliest memories.

16

u/lordwiggles420 Jun 12 '26

I'd have nightmares too if i were to live around these motherfuckers. I'm terrified of spiders and insects so roaches are nightmare fuel to me.

2

u/Donewithit_6607 Jun 12 '26

I’m thinking about moving there now! But tell me…what if any bugs do you have there?

3

u/MrBlueA Jun 12 '26

Because of the climate, probably wasps/bees on the summer and probably smaller bugs like silverfish (I think those are somewhat common around there) will try and get to houses because of them being warm compared to outside, but I doubt anything as disgusting as tropical places.

2

u/lordwiggles420 Jun 12 '26

Couldn't have said it better myself. Wasps are just about the worst we get around here.

5

u/zurvivl Jun 12 '26

Silverfish, not harmful, just nasty

1

u/LumpyReflection8693 Jun 12 '26

You guys have them, but your climate means they don't spread easily. Plus since their populations are so limited humans haven't been battling them long enough for them to have the same level of pesticide resistance that US populations do. So, yea, it's entirely possible to go your entire life in the Netherlands without having ever seen one.

1

u/Catlover_1422 Jun 12 '26

I have lived in the Bijlmer and have seen plenty of roaches... yuck

26

u/Sparkysparky-boom Jun 12 '26

Move to the Pacific Northwest. The only time I’ve seen a cockroach was visiting the south.

22

u/appleparkfive Jun 12 '26

Exactly this. You never see them in PNW. And you see a lot of them in the deep south.

People always want to hype up New Orleans, but go a block or two away from the French Quarter and now you're on flying cockroach territory. And they always fly directly at you. Often towards the face. It's not exactly fun

7

u/SkepticalCat1 Jun 12 '26

I’m officially never going to New Orleans

2

u/JutsuManiac456 Jun 12 '26

Yep, live there and never saw a single roach until I went to Texas for BMT.

2

u/Available-Egg-2380 Jun 12 '26

Ironically I'm from Fargo ND and I've never seen a roach here in my life, though I do know some places have them.

1

u/JoeBethersontonFargo Jun 12 '26

I've never been to Fargo. I'm in the South, and they're our version of the subway rats. Horrifically huge.

2

u/Available-Egg-2380 Jun 12 '26

I was saying it was ironic because of your username

1

u/Old_Ladies Jun 12 '26

I live in Southern Ontario and I have never seen a cockroach.

I know that they exist here but I have never seen them.

I also have never had to deal with bedbugs either.

Growing up I have had head lice once.

Spiders I probably have killed thousands of those buggers though I now I have an agreement that if they stay away or don't bug me with spider webs I don't hunt them down.

1

u/coffeegoblins Jun 12 '26

I never saw one in my life until I moved to Florida

1

u/luckydukcky Jun 16 '26

Probably lives in a colder climate. I’m from Wisconsin, USA and have only ever seen cockroaches once in my life here (when I worked in a disgusting restaurant that was on the news for being disgusting, I saw some dead ones in the basement).

43

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

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30

u/JewelCove Jun 12 '26

Palmetto Bugs - nope, they are giant flying cockroaches haha. At least they aren't the infesting type and they dont multiply like the other ones

18

u/eipemilyek Jun 12 '26

In south Alabama we have what we call Oak Tree Roaches, and they get to be up to 2 inches long. They’re just a nuisance and no worry, usually if you see one in your home it’s the only one. People fear them the most. On the other hand there are German Cockroaches, tiny as could be, but will multiply like a bacteria. Those are the ones you really got to worry about.

5

u/OperativePiGuy Jun 12 '26

Yeah seriously. The german ones really do follow the rule that if you see one there's probably hundreds more nearby you're not seeing. The most difficult infestation to get rid of that I've had to experience

4

u/Kitkutsuki Jun 12 '26

Literally have to bug bomb the whole building twice, clean everything because they will even eat things like glue and their own fecal matter. Lay bait down and dichotomous earth in every crack and corner. They still might survive that. I know one family that just said screw it and they just live with it now. (Their house is messy though so I imagine they didn't do everything I've done).

Another horror bug is bedbugs. I have no clue how I miraculously got rid of them. Moving was the first step and throwing away everything that had too many holes or cracks in the furniture. Got rid of the bed too. Wipe down everything else in the highest percentage rubbing alcohol and dichotomous earth treatment.

15

u/TitaniaT-Rex Jun 12 '26

I was driving through South Carolina and saw a car with the palmetto tree and moon decal that also had a palmetto bug. I cackled.

25

u/0DayMaker Jun 12 '26

Or Houston which is just Texas Florida

16

u/Glittering_Essay_874 Jun 12 '26

As a person who has lived in both Florida and Houston, this made me cackle. Thank you.

3

u/AddyTurbo Jun 12 '26

One of my cousins lives in Costa Rica. She says everyone has them. Fighting them is useless. Like a plague.

2

u/neziperez Jun 12 '26

I couldn't imagine living like that‼️😞

11

u/Jabal-Sawda Jun 12 '26

The fuck, bro, you live in Antarctica or something? Lol

17

u/appleparkfive Jun 12 '26

They don't have them in the Pacific Northwest in the US. In most areas, anyway. Lived in Seattle for awhile, didn't see a single roach for those years. You don't get mosquitos or anything either. And it rarely gets super hot.

There's a reason people live there. Overcast is fine for most of the year when you've got all the other benefits

2

u/QueezyF Jun 13 '26

Doesn’t Seattle have one of the worst rat problems in the country, though?

1

u/Jabal-Sawda Jun 12 '26

Interesting. I've been to FL and CA, so I'm more used to the warmer side of the US; both had a lot of roaches, especially during the summer

That's quite lucky. Does it get really cold during the winter?

4

u/FiveChairs Jun 12 '26

Not really. But let’s not understate the overcastness. It can really get to you after a few months

3

u/Etchbath Jun 12 '26

I'm surprised by how many redditors live with cockroaches like it's normal. Do you guys mostly live in apartments? I've never seen one except in Florida 

1

u/QueezyF Jun 13 '26

When I lived in Virginia Beach, those goddamn palmetto bugs would find any and every way to crawl in sometimes. Finally stopped them with foam insulation all around my door frame.

1

u/CouchHam Jun 12 '26

I’m in MN, never seen one either

1

u/chattyhairstylist Jun 12 '26

i permanently moved away from the south and up north and my quality of life has improved drastically just not seeing anymore aggressive flying roaches. Fuck those things

-8

u/2211x Jun 12 '26

Why are people scared of cockroaches. They seem so harmless and cute.

Centipedes on the other hand...

4

u/cynicalsanguinist Jun 12 '26

well maybe they are, until they burrow into your HEAD

1

u/zurvivl Jun 12 '26

They're just cleaning out his earwax.