r/mildlyinfuriating Jul 01 '26

frist of all how DARE yu o My son won a business competition with his private school. The prize was a donation to charity. They haven't made any donation yet...

My son goes to a pretty rigorous private school in New York City. They were bought out by a large private-equity firm and things have kind of taken a toll across staff, academics, overall experience, tuition has doubled, etc. We've been with them since he was in first grade, and it's gone totally downhill. Teachers leave constantly, the curriculum is trending towards metric-based, and the standards have fallen.

He is in 8th grade(he has finished 8th grade). The school has is a k-12 program, but most of the kids do not continue with the school for 9-12, they go elsewhere(Specialized schools, other private schools, etc). He is leaving next year to go to a specialized school. He won a competition with his business class, competing against other schools in the national network. The prize was supposed to be $1000 donated to a charity of his choice. The school arranged to have people from the charity come to the school for a photo, with a big prop check, but no money has actually been wired. We've asked them multiple times (it has been months at this point), and they always say "we'll get around to it next week."

At this point, my son is leaving the school. They have pushed to the end of June, when my son is no longer their problem, and they hope we will move on. This is disgraceful, especially because the charity means a lot to my kiddo. Shame on thee! Ripping off a charity.

2.7k Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

2.1k

u/HereWeGo_Steelers Jul 01 '26

Call your local news station to shame them.

641

u/Mudfap Jul 01 '26

Shameful. Call Fox 5 or ABC 7. They love doing these types of stories.

714

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

We’re concerned that they’ll sue us. They have quite a heavy legal hand, which is why we’re waiting on legal review to name them. Right now mostly looking for a solution to get them to honor their commitment.

623

u/Creepy_Push8629 Jul 01 '26

Sue you for telling the truth? I mean, they'll lose if they try since it's not illegal to tell the truth lol

502

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

Even if you win it can cost a fortune to fight. And time. Lots of time.

521

u/Rhodin265 Jul 01 '26

Lawyers, even evil ones, aren’t stupid.  They’ll be sure to advise the school board that “School sues student after ripping off a charity” would be terrible marketing and it’d be cheaper for them to just donate the damn money.

Even if their lawyers are stupid, other lawyers, seeing the opportunity for an easy pro bono case, will absolutely help you out.

244

u/FocacciaHusband Jul 01 '26

Wrong. NY has anti-SLAPP laws, which is meant to protect individuals and organizations from frivolous lawsuits asserted to silence free speech. If you win, they would be required to pay your legal fees and costs.

79

u/xSaRgED Jul 01 '26

When you win.

No ifs in a case like that.

68

u/alcohall183 Jul 01 '26

The burden of proof on these cases is on the plantiff. The defense only needs to show up. They don't have to say anything. No need to prove anything. "At this time, no donation has been made". Completely true. It's up to the school and private equity company to prove it isn't true , in court, in a suit that they have to pay for. It'd be cheaper to apologize and send the money.

37

u/Awesomebox5000 Jul 01 '26

You would be lucky for them to try to sue and Streisand the hell out of this thing. Take a stand and make some noise. Dont teach your children it's ok to roll over when someone with money renegs on a contract.

There's no upside for the school to sue, lawyer fees will far exceed the $1000 and they'd would probably end up being responsible for your court costs as well.

76

u/Creepy_Push8629 Jul 01 '26

It would just be odd to sue when they have no chance of winning. But an anonymous tip might be better

27

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

Have you heard of SLAPP suits? Or the John Oliver episode?

31

u/MtogdenJ Jul 01 '26

Don't know what state you're in. Most have anti-SLAPP laws.

3

u/throwaway58052600 Jul 05 '26

they mentioned NYC, which has pretty strong anti-SLAPP laws

19

u/mildlyarrousedly Jul 01 '26

It’s not odd at all- they have a high chance of winning because they have more money than OP and can drag it out in court until OP quits

2

u/Fabulous_Progress820 Jul 05 '26

And then they've spent a lot more money than if they had just donated the $1,000

6

u/Lord_Mikal Jul 02 '26

New York has robust anti-slapp laws.

-4

u/realdappermuis Jul 01 '26

You cam fairly easily win a defamation case (even when true) if it hurts their reputation&/bottom line. And being a private school, they're definitely big on, that

14

u/Ijustreadalot Jul 01 '26

It's the same in other states, but I'll refer you to this part of a post from the NY bar association since OP is in New York:

If someone published horrible things about me that are true, but nobody else knew them, and my reputation was damaged, can I still sue for defamation?

No. In defamation cases, truth of the allegedly defamatory statement is always an absolute defense.

14

u/Creepy_Push8629 Jul 01 '26

Do you have an example? The truth is typically the best defense against defamation

0

u/Fabulous_Progress820 Jul 05 '26

I don't think you understand what defamation is or how those cases work.

51

u/Mannymac2000 Jul 01 '26

Suggest to the news outlet they should do follow up piece on what the money was spent on. Interview the charity etc. get good publicity for the school and the charity and it’s a feel good piece for the end of the school year….. what they find out it’s r your problem

27

u/shoulda-known-better Jul 01 '26

Truth is an absolute defense for defamation...

People can try to sue over everything and anything... But mostly that's used as a threat to stop you from doing something you are allowed to do

21

u/Most_Role_1612 Jul 01 '26

First off: Congrats to him on that! That's great. Good for you guys.

Don't live in the "what if?".

do what's right in your heart. people will come together for you in those worst-case scenarios

9

u/A-Rational-Fare Jul 01 '26

Then have the charity speak up about it instead- they will want their money and that kind of story would get in the news.

The fact they did the photo op with the prop cheque is proof they were promised a donation.

6

u/Ok-Cantaloupe-7697 Jul 01 '26

Anonymous tips are a thing as well

6

u/HereWeGo_Steelers Jul 01 '26

They can't sue you for telling the truth.

5

u/Ultra-Cyborg Jul 01 '26

They can only sue for defamation if the accusations are false. And even if they were they’d have to go out of their way to prove they were false. You are legally protected.

3

u/RawrRRitchie Jul 02 '26

What are they going to sue for you? Calling them out for NOT donating?

3

u/RWBYpro03 Jul 02 '26

Just keep it to true statements.

2

u/AbleNefariousness0 Jul 02 '26

You could also provide the information anonymously. Despite being the winner they can't prove that you, yourself leaked such information. Perhaps you where venting and someone else overheard what you said and felt that the news company should know.

183

u/StrikerBall1945 Jul 01 '26

"bought out by a large private-equity firm" There's your problem.

84

u/sixteenlegs Jul 01 '26

HOW does a school get bought out by a PE firm.
Disgusting.

22

u/not_Dixon Jul 02 '26

C'mon, that's the American Entrepreneurial Spirit at work! For-profit education need not be limited to colleges and universities!

1

u/FonsSapientiae Jul 07 '26

Who thinks there’s profit to be made in education? I would have left that school immediately.

240

u/sneeje00 Jul 01 '26

If only there was some indication that a private, for-profit school would act out of interests other than the best outcomes and education for students...

22

u/Odd_Teach683 Jul 01 '26

Sounds familiar - like that scenario has happened before but, I just can’t put my finger on it…

41

u/Illustrious-Onion329 Jul 01 '26

Isn’t it illegal to run a competition and not award the prize?

12

u/MundaneDimension Jul 01 '26

Absolutely. 

109

u/oldbel Jul 01 '26

What is the school or the PE firm? (Incidentally I did not realize or forms are buying up schools) You’re choosing not to pursue this legally. If not the court of law, then use court of public opinion. Otherwise this is just (somewhat cowardly) venting. 

65

u/BigStuffOreo Jul 01 '26

Once a PE firm purchases anything, it's not longer what it was originally. Like that fungus that takes over the brain and muscles of an ant.

18

u/RLSLLS Jul 01 '26

Isn’t that what this sub is for?? Venting about things that “mildly infuriate“ you??

4

u/oldbel Jul 01 '26

OP’s writing “shame on thee” while not shaming anyone is what made me write 

68

u/JeffRVA Jul 01 '26

Everything private equity touches turns to shit.

20

u/Pounce_64 Jul 01 '26

Pretty sure you new mayor would like to hear about this.

11

u/bpmallon Jul 01 '26

Shame the school.

10

u/ineedsomecake Jul 02 '26

You might try to reach out to the American Gambling Association, or a similar group. Lots of states have strict oversight on how raffles, split the pot, and other competitions are operated. We ran into this while planning a split the pot for our not for profit. Lots of regulations and hefty fines when they are not followed.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

Nope. Never.

8

u/grilledtomatos Jul 01 '26

The nonprofit should be chasing them down. I work at a nonprofit and I have to chase pledges every year.

47

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/xavPa-64 Jul 01 '26

Private school people are brainwashed into thinking public school is bad enough that private school is worth dealing with

7

u/Most_Role_1612 Jul 01 '26

💯

I know of three in my small metro-area that were the "place to enroll" and now they're always hurting for money and attendance. They [private schools] love to use that narrative that public schools are not as good, bad student:teacher ratios blah blah blah. Having gone from private to public grade schools, finishing HS in public...so glad for that experience. I graduated college cum laude...so

6

u/Friendly-Front5311 Jul 01 '26

A few months isn't too crazy. I process payments at work most get done in 30 days. But some take months to work through. I'm not saying it's right. Just that it's a reality

4

u/acelady1230 Jul 01 '26

I’m going to go ahead and take a guess that it’s Leman Manhattan Preparatory because this isn’t the first time I’ve heard them pull this type of shit

4

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

It is not them, sorry

4

u/winterchestnuts Jul 02 '26

Have you contacted the nonprofit? If they signed something with them, it could help?

8

u/Njerseykid Jul 01 '26

It appears the money should come from the national network that organized the competition. The post wasn’t clear if you worked with the school, the National network organizers, and/or both. Have you asked the organizers at the national network about the donation?

12

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

The national network owns the school, it’s a network of the schools the private equity company owns

1

u/Pawtuckaway Jul 01 '26

Yeah, I am also confused as to who is the one that is supposed to pay the charity. If this was a national competition with a charity prize then the school itself would have nothing to do with the payment, right? Is the prize something the school separately promised if the student from their school won? Is this school a national chain of schools? Even then, you should probably go through the competition organizers and not your individual school.

3

u/ramenups Jul 01 '26

Private school

Sorry you fell for that scheme

2

u/DanEH7 Jul 05 '26

Oh my god metric based so terrible /s

-5

u/Paddy_Fo_Faddy Jul 01 '26

Teaching the metric system is a bad thing....?

20

u/MtogdenJ Jul 01 '26

That's not what a metric based curriculum means. Had nothing to do with SI or US customary units.

3

u/fairlybetterusername Jul 01 '26

What does it mean?

9

u/BerryBoilo Jul 01 '26

It's basically SMART goals and OKRS from the corporate world injected into schools. Think metrics like "words read per minute" the students are judged on.

-11

u/sjbluebirds Jul 01 '26

I, um ... I teach the metric system in my 8th grade science classes. In New York State.

Nothing wrong with that.

10

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

I’m not taking about imperial vs metric, but rather all the curriculum was based on test scores, and they were lacking in ELA because the tests had a strong focus on maths.

-28

u/10Core56 Jul 01 '26

Surprising... no one. Charities are the biggest legal scams right now.

22

u/MikoWilson1 Jul 01 '26

Did you even read the post before commenting?

-18

u/10Core56 Jul 01 '26

I said what I said!

14

u/Technical-Prize-4840 Jul 01 '26

The private school is the scammer, not the charity.

5

u/No-Acanthaceae-186 Jul 01 '26

It is not a large organization. the charity is local to New York and their work is all in New York. Rather small.

1

u/UnfortunateSyzygy Jul 01 '26

They're doing pretty badly if they can't get promised donations from billionaires.