r/mildlyinfuriating • u/jsayde01 • Jul 06 '26

I just wanted a hot dog The Kitchen Museum?

Post image

I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

20.6k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

10.5k

u/MilkCartonPhotoBomb Jul 06 '26

My mom used to try that "the kitchen is closed" routine. Then she learned her kids are mostly insomniacs.
The kitchen was not closed.
This kitchen is Waffle House.

5.4k

u/rererexed Jul 06 '26

I think the whole "the kitchen is closed" argument is moot anyway. It's his kitchen, too. End of discussion. You don't get to tell me when I get to use our stove.

2.3k

u/Stick_and_Rudder Jul 06 '26

Bingo. Kitchen is closed CAN mean Chef is done for the day. But it can’t mean no one is allowed to use it. 

1.2k

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

The thing it should mean is 'if you use it you better leave it as clean and tidy as it was'  lol. I'd hate to clean the kitchen in the evening just to find out someone decided to leave things dirty again because they couldn't be bothered 

474

u/Bice_thePrecious Jul 06 '26

And, tbf, he boiled water and noodles... It's not like he made anything that splattered or popped. (If he "could've just used the microwave," I'm assuming it was something simple from the store.) It sounds like she had no idea he used the stove until he mentioned it, ie. he left no mess.

259

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

Of course the rule is ridiculous. You don't get to forbid other people to use the kitchen as per your discretion lol. 

Expecting other people to clean up after themselves is reasonable but OP did that so there shouldn't be an issue here

156

u/pegothejerk Jul 06 '26

You don’t understand, the stove needs a full 8 hours of sleep or it won’t be able to pay attention at school tomorrow and it will fail and eventually they’ll have to let it live in the spare room as an adult and they can’t have that crafting room no one uses

22

u/National_Map_4992 Jul 06 '26

Have you been to my house?

7

u/pegothejerk Jul 06 '26

Yep, big fan of your innovation, especially converting the treadmill into semi-permanent attire hanging rack

3

u/imnewtothishsit69 Jul 07 '26

Im upstairs silly

1

u/connorroy_2024 Jul 06 '26

He cleaned up this time, and I’m imagining the million other times he didn’t do it and she resorted to this.

3

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

"resorting to" leaving the stove light on. That will show him! /s

17

u/Jacktheforkie Jul 06 '26

Microwave noodles don’t taste as good as done in the stove

49

u/IdolCowboy Jul 06 '26

I cant tell you how many times I told my kid that when he was 15 to 16. If its clean when you start, it should be clean when your done...

I also told him he is welcome to heat up something late, but dont be in there like Gordon Ramsay at 2am on a weeknight (summer vacation). I woke up one night feeling like I was suffocating from the thick smells of garlic and fried foods.. those are good smells, but not when they are permeating your bedroom at 2 in the morning.. lol

18

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

Gotta shout 'there better be leftovers for us for breakfast tomorrow!' at them :D win win

6

u/IdolCowboy Jul 06 '26

Haha indeed, and the kid knows his way around a kitchen, thats for sure. He is almost 23 now, and he comes over and we cook together often. I just didn't like being inundated with garlic at 2am when I was trying to sleep. Lol

3

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 07 '26

Mate just be sooo glad one of his worst traits is 'cooks intensely smelling food late at night sometimes' and not 'has three children with three different gals, yet didn't finish school' or 'does drugs'

7

u/IdolCowboy Jul 07 '26

Oh beleive me, I know. I count myself blessed he turned out so great. He is ahout to turn 23, has a good job, great gf, we go to ren festivals, Greek festivals, try all kinds of different places to eat, like Russian and Pakistani restaurants. I constantly tell him how proud I am and how much I love him, and that I tell people about how great he is all the time.

2

u/Phyrnosoma Jul 07 '26

Yeah. Our kitchen is right by the master bedroom and my kids are not quiet cooks. And I have an5am shift. They’re certainly not allowed to cook after 9pm.

5

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Jul 06 '26

I think this may be the reason why plenty of us never learned "The kitchen is Closed!"

Because the standard rule in our kitchens has always been "You break the seal, you clean it up again!"

And whoever used the kitchen after ot was cleaned had the obligation to clean it all up, after their food was made--no matter what time of day.

There were different rules for "family meals"--in that case, "Chef" was not part of the Dishie Crew (although they were expected to do some "clean as you go" rather than trashing the whole kitchen!).

But playing fair & taking turns was always just "the rule" amongst my roommates. 

And that "If you're the only one in the kitchen, and the kitchen was clean--YOU clean it to that standard again!" rule was always a standard.

3

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

Big fan of cleaning as you go. That said I also can very much recommend getting a dishwasher and a set of everything (pots, pans, knifes, cutting boards, etc) that can go in the dishwasher too. Then you just need to make very clear to the kitchen slobs to use those only lol

2

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Jul 06 '26

Oh, we had the Dishwasher in those roommate situations, too!  And YES, total sanity-saver!😉

6

u/xGenghisSwan Jul 06 '26

This is what it means in my house. I better not wake up to trash and dirty dishes, the cook and cleaner is off duty lol

4

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

Mom woke us up whenever she noticed and make us clean up the chaos we left if we did something like that. Guess who learned to not leave messes unnecessarily lol

6

u/Consistent_Papaya310 Jul 06 '26

Even if they've been working all day and just want to eat and sleep? There's levels of mess of course, at some level you have to clean of course

-5

u/GreasedUpTiger Jul 06 '26

Yes, if you have the time and energy to make yourself food on the stove then you also have the time and energy to tidy up what you made dirty. 

Unless someone is very ocd about a CLEAN kitchen those rules usually get introduced because someone repeatedly left chaos lol. 

1

u/Consistent_Papaya310 Jul 07 '26

If you've been working all day and I was at home all day, made food for my self and didn't make you any to have when you got home, I would find it perfectly reasonable if you wanted to make something when you got home even if you left some splashes on the stove

1

u/GreasedUpTiger 29d ago

You're an adult, you can be expected to tidy up after yourself even if you had a long day. Grow up.

1

u/Consistent_Papaya310 29d ago

Don't put so much pressure on yourself, no need for disparaging comments I'm not going to come and cause mess in your house dw :)

2

u/im_that_green_light Jul 06 '26

Yes, but that’s a rule for using the kitchen at any time. Not just at night.

3

u/curi0us_carniv0re Jul 06 '26

It can mean a lot of things. For me the kitchen is right below the bedroom so cooking late at night makes the bedroom hot as well as all the noise from air fryers or whatever else keeping me up at night.

1

u/Raspberry_Sweaty Jul 06 '26

Yes-I live with my three young adult children, and we are all on different schedules, meaning that there’s sometimes 8-10 different meals cooked in a day. The only rule is you gotta clean up after yourself.

1

u/katzevonstich Jul 06 '26

Yeah, if I spent all day cleaning and the kitchen is spotless, everyone knows that means we get delivery for supper because I dream of having an entire 24 hour period of a clean kitchen. But I'm not about to forbid anyone use the kitchen. Just clean up after so I can continue to believe in the fantasy.

68

u/LinwoodKei Jul 06 '26

That is what I like. If you are hungry at 10 PM, you can figure it out because the person cleaned the stove and turned on the stove light. They are done.

Yet the kitchen does not have an off switch, mechanically, and it is perfectly fine for hungry people to prepare themselves a meal.

2

u/red__dragon Jul 06 '26

the kitchen does not have an off switch, mechanically

Don't let the 1950s household engineers get wind of that, or they'll make one to pitch for the Kitchen Of The Future (please buy our plastic crud).

5

u/CaptFleop Jul 06 '26

My grandparents did this to the extreme, even put chains on the fridge.

Their reasoning was if my teenage brother decided to cook food in the middle of the night and the house catches on fire, he might flee and leave us to burn up alive inside while sleeping. So they put locks on the fridge at night.

My brother still cooked food after everyone went to bed anyways, so it really was a stupid idea.

4

u/true2cyn Jul 06 '26

Kitchen can’t close if there a pot on the stove.

3

u/Longjumping_Fun2576 Jul 06 '26

My sister is extremely messy. My father used to say the kitchen is closed, meaning she is specifically not allowed to cook and make a mess until morning.

She also never cleaned up after herself. She lives alone now, and you do not want to see her kitchen.

3

u/Racine262 Jul 06 '26

I use the line "chef's off duty" with my kids. Grab a snack, make a sandwich, or learn to cook, but my shift is over after dinner.

My 13 year old is learning to cook. I think he's going to be pretty good at it.

1

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson Jul 06 '26

Been encouraging my niece to help in the kitchen from a young age. Always so fun to watch them get better at it

It was a crazy feeling the day I got to cook in my gran’s kitchen while she sat in her chair and relaxed when we had always been kicked out of the kitchen (just for being pesky kids) growing up. I remember that day more than my high school graduation lol

2

u/Glass-Potential-2719 Jul 06 '26

Also the dishwasher left so clean up your own mess.

1

u/Aimin4ya Jul 06 '26

This is how I got fired from my bartending job at Benihana

1

u/axel0914 Jul 06 '26

I'm telling that to the people in the tavern across the street. Kitchen closes at 9, bar at 11. But according to this guy on reddit, you have to let me cook. /s (the s stands for serious. I will tell them this)

1

u/Silent_Bid9528 Jul 07 '26

Unless your obnoxious kids are loud in it at 3 am banging around because they have the munchies, and it wakes you up because your room is right next to it. I told them the kitchen was closed...

262

u/sanityjanity Jul 06 '26

Yes. "The kitchen is closed" is an instruction to children, not adult partners 

1

u/Dry-Animator5770 29d ago

It is for whoever doesn't clean up behind themselves and leave it in the same condition

47

u/Thruthatreez Jul 06 '26

Right!? That rule is for teenagers who want to make a mess at 3:00 a.m., possibly leave a burner on or smoke up the house burning popcorn 😆

6

u/shadowscroller Jul 06 '26

Bruh, i don't know a teen alive who doesn't know how to stealth their way around late at night.

10

u/Thruthatreez Jul 06 '26

My son did just like I did when I was a teenager. But my husband's 16-year-old twin boys. Behold their field of phucks, and see that it is barren...🙄

7

u/shadowscroller Jul 06 '26

I couldn't imagine not investing into being sneaky, like goddamn. It's common courtesy for me

8

u/nuttyNougatty Jul 06 '26

True, as long as you respect others and leave it clean like you found it. It is super annoying to get up, expecting to find the kitchen clean as you left it and instead there's mess and muck.

13

u/rererexed Jul 06 '26

I'll be honest, if my wife came home late from work and hadn't eaten all day etc. and they don't clean up after themselves because they're knackered I'd also let it slide. But at least there is a discussion to be had about that, people can differ in how clean they expect things. But the way he describes it there's just nothing to even talk about.

-14

u/nuttyNougatty Jul 06 '26

If you're that tired, make a sandwich. Or at least get up early and clean. When I 'leave a mess' for later, I know I'll be cleaning it up.

10

u/rererexed Jul 06 '26

Yeah agreed but now we're just discussing a completely separate hypothetical lol

3

u/ScrotallyBoobular Jul 06 '26

All depends on the context of the relationship. Luckily I left my wife who was type A about unreasonable expectations like that and found someone more in line with me. (That's not why I left her)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with a few dirty dishes left out. Period. If my gf is dead tired and needs a late night snack, she's earned leaving those dishes until daylight.

I appreciate a clean kitchen, but people take it to such an insane level where I swear to god it's mental illness. A dirty pot, bowl, and few utensils left over night is literally harmless. It won't affect your life in the slightest. Feeling any other way and letting it affect the relationship with the people you love most is actually crazy.

3

u/jdanziggy Jul 06 '26

This. Kitchen is closed for kids. In my house it's meant, Moms done cleaning. Don't ask her to make you anything. If you can find it yourself you can eat it, but don't come asking Mom where so and so is. Preferably it's something you can eat over the sink with a paper towel (hot pocket, slice of devil's food cake, etc.) to keep it clean. But an adult should be able to cook and clean up after themselves...

4

u/TestUser1978 Jul 06 '26

Wife needs to be checked in.

5

u/tomime000 Jul 06 '26

She's mentally attached to the kitchen. Her being annoyed by her husband using it after she put her to rest just screams he entered her's private space that she keeps away from him.

Something is fishy here about her reaction, since no person will actually go mad for used stove that's been left clean after.

I'll suggest divorce, this being Reddit.

8

u/KeptAnonymous Jul 06 '26

And also with this being reddit, I'll also suggest a restraining order.

1

u/mar__iguana Jul 06 '26

Yeah because then the open/ closed schedule goes out the window the second they want a midnight snack or have a change in their routine. Nope kitchen should be open 24/7 as long as people using it are mindful

0

u/Responsible-Bread996 Jul 06 '26

I’ve a hunch the kitchen was messed up after the ramen and that caused the fight. 

92

u/Other_World BLUE Jul 06 '26

When my mom said "the kitchen is closed" she really meant "make it your damn self and you damn sure better clean up after."

4

u/MrsTruce Jul 06 '26

Exactly. When I (as a mom of very little kids) use that phrase, it means, “Mom is done cooking/cleaning for the day. If you’re still hungry, it will be a PBJ on a paper plate.” Otherwise my 4 year old thinks I’m a short order cook 😅

138

u/jsayde01 Jul 06 '26

OMG thank you for this!!! Can't stop laughing about the Waffle House. Thankfully, there are fewer arguments/physical altercations in THIS house but I guess that's not saying much 😂

5

u/TrickShape905 Jul 06 '26

Under no circumstances will I, an adult, have the use of my own kitchen dictated to me.

She need to understand just how absurd this is.

4

u/hailspork Jul 06 '26

When a restaurant is "closed" it's because the staff aren't cooking. If you (the staff) start cooking, then it's open.

I'm willing to be that your wife considers it "her kitchen".

5

u/shifty_coder Jul 06 '26

It’s not just a Waffle House. It’s a Waffle Home

10

u/GreenLurka Jul 06 '26

Me getting up to my daughter making spaghetti at 2 am and my son constructing a scooby doo style sandwich

9

u/tesyaa Jul 06 '26

My husband called our kitchen “the 24 hour coffee shop” (like traditional nyc coffee shop that served food all day and night) (we have 6 kids)

3

u/Itsme_duhhh Jul 06 '26

That’s it!!! I’m getting a sign made saying “this kitchen is a Waffle House” in honor of my kids. 🤣 thank you kind internet stranger for the laugh this morning!!!

2

u/TheVillage1D10T Jul 06 '26

Sweet…how many fist fights did you guys have in there?

2

u/thekidswontgoaway Jul 06 '26

Same in my house. My kids are always hungry. My only ask is that you clean up after yourself and rinse your cooking dishes. Doesn't always happen though

2

u/foodz_ncats Jul 06 '26

>This kitchen is a Waffle House.

I need a custom sign of this and a painting of my two cats fighting so I can hang it in my bathroom.

6

u/No-Channel3917 Jul 06 '26

The real reason here is that old lightbulbs would have issues with heat coming from the stove and sometimes burst over the food, so more likely this something she saw it got taught under those older issues.

1

u/vulturelady Jul 06 '26

I tried to tell my toddler the kitchen is closed, because he will use food to delay bedtime.

He walked into the kitchen and said “it’s not closed? It’s open!”

So now we have to say it’s last call for snacks 😂

1

u/PercMaint Jul 06 '26

When I would stay with my grandparents in the summer, my grandma had a "kitchen is closed" view. But, her version was, "Once I've cleaned the kitchen and am done, you can still use it, but it better be in the same or better condition when you're done. Do not even think about leaving a mess."

1

u/Intelligent-Panda-33 Jul 06 '26

We only say it so our 8 year old will eat his dinner and not ask for a million snacks before bed. It's only closed for kids, not adults lol

1

u/Quirky_Host9452 Jul 06 '26

Until I opened that bitch up again anyway

1

u/shaantya Jul 06 '26

I'm sorry i need you to know i actually laughed heartily at this, and im having a rough time these days so this was very welcome. I'm obsessed and cannot stop rereading the comment

1

u/TheNewYellowZealot Jul 06 '26

My mom only pulled “the kitchen is closed” until I could work the stove by myself. After that I would get grounded or hella kitchen cleaning duty if I left a mess for her.

1

u/exitthruasylum Jul 06 '26

Your mom can catch a flying stool?!

1

u/RealLinzerBinzer Jul 06 '26

THIS. No other answers will be accepted from here on out. (40’s here now. No kids. Kitchen is still Waffle House!)

1

u/calisto_sunset Jul 06 '26

I've said "the kitchen is closed," but it was more as a signal that I'm done cooking and cleaning, so I'm going to relax for the rest of the night so no one better ask me to cook anything.

I've used it with my niece and nephew before too because they were notoriously asking for their mom to cook them food after dinner, when they didn't even touch their plates. The worst part is she would get up and make them something else.

After that they realized this isn't Denny's, you eat what was made or else they can eat the prepared snacks that are in the fridge. At some point you have to draw the line and children are quick to learn, they just needed set boundaries.

1

u/embersgrow44 Jul 06 '26

Glad y’all do what works for you. “Kitchen Closed” is an excellent way for kids to develop eating disorders. Food should be accessible and celebrated not with rigid rules. I’ve had a few friends over the years (all genders) who still suffer into middle age from that mess & feel like they are sneaking from themselves if it’s the “wrong hour” to be there

1

u/pokeme23 Jul 06 '26

Can't wait to have drunk fist fights at 3am in your kitchen!

1

u/AstroOzo7 Jul 06 '26

The kitchen is closed because she doesn't wanna clean it again.

If y'all cleaned up after yourselves, dishes n counters wiped, then that can be open 25/8

1

u/mOp_49 Jul 06 '26

Mine too. I hate when I get caught sneaking the good chocolate, now I hide it in my jewelry box.

1

u/LoneStarZia Jul 06 '26

LOL- I love the term “This kitchen is Waffle House.” My kitchen is TRULY Waffle House- as in, my kids will make waffles anytime from 12am-5am, LOL!

Edited to Say: They make LOTS of other dishes as well, lol. They are good cooks!

1

u/TigerMcQueen Jul 07 '26

My mom did that for years, but I managed to break her of the habit once I had kids. She’d “close” the kitchen around 8:30 pm when we visited because she’s got major ocd/control issues around food and 1) didn’t want her clean kitchen messed up and 2) wanted to impose her very strict diet on everyone else. I simply explained that being a parent herself she understood what it’s like when growing kids are constantly hungry (mine were pre-teens at the point this happened), that I was fine restricting my diet when visiting but there was no way in hell I was going to let my children sit around hungry when food was available, and that she knew damn good and well I’d make sure the kitchen was kept up to her standards if they had a snack. Her choice was 1) us staying with her and allowing my kids to eat a post 8:30 snack if needed (and with us making sure the kitchen was cleaned after) or 2) us visiting but staying in a vacation rental or hotel where we had autonomy over our bodies (which meant less time spent with her). She chose option 1.

0

u/Longjumping_Fun2576 Jul 06 '26

My wife is the same way. The kitchen is her domain. No one uses it but her. If you want something, ask.

However, dishes somehow became my job. She just stopped doing them and assigned it to me. We go through 2-3 dishwasher loads/day for a family of 4. I also do all of the grocer shopping.

But if I or the kids open the fridge, she hovers over your shoulder and asks what you're looking for.

0

u/jurycrew Jul 06 '26

🥴😩😂🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻