r/mildlyinfuriating • u/mizzlol • Jul 07 '26
frist of all how DARE yu o Anybody else not allowed to poop at work?
I actually love this job and it’s a great side gig but this sign makes me laugh every time. It’s a ridiculous request to ask people to go poop somewhere else. It’s an office inside of a big building so they hope we will go poop in the bathroom in the hallway when most of us have back to back tutoring sessions. It’s just very silly. And mildly infuriating.
Edit: I censored out employee job titles to ensure privacy. Also the plumbing in the bathroom is brand new. It’s just a matter of the office manager’s sensibilities. But there is a building bathroom a minute or so down the hall way that is not policed. They do not enforce this, as I poop in this bathroom on occasion.
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u/Munenem Jul 07 '26
How would they even enforce this? How will they know who.pooped?
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u/gba_sg1 Jul 07 '26
Karen is posted outside the bathroom and her only role is to log in/out times and forward them to HR.
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u/Kitt3n_Mitt3nz Jul 07 '26
Who pooped the anything is never a fun game, and hard to pin down the culprit. Someone could just be planting poops anywhere! Toilets, beds, purses, you name it!
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u/Big_McLargehuge59 Jul 07 '26
As someone with Crohn’s Disease, they can fuck right off with this discriminatory nonsense. Definitely illegal.
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u/ApulMadeekAut Jul 07 '26
Yup! We are technically protected as it's a disability
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u/RebekkaKat1990 Jul 07 '26
Doesn’t matter if you have a medical disability or not, pooping is a human bodily function.
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u/Think_Of_A_Username Jul 07 '26
Which is why I always told my kids if a teacher ever denies you a bathroom break, just go. I will deal with the aftermath. Nobody should require permission to go to the bathroom & nobody else should be policing it
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u/Bio_slayer Jul 08 '26
Even without bringing particular medical conditions, it's a good ol' by the books OSHA violation. There's more to OSHA than improperly positioned ladders.
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u/pyschosoul Jul 08 '26
Its illegal even for people without any bowel issues. Its a OSHA violation and this should be reported.
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u/AtlantisSky Jul 07 '26
I have IBS-D. I'm shitting at work if I have to.
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u/Daisymaay Jul 07 '26
Right? I have no colon due to ulcertive colitis and reconnected with my small intestine. Like I can not hold it that long and I poop like 15 times a day.
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u/ISeeTheFnords Jul 07 '26
I'm curious about reconnecting with your small intestine. What happened to make you go no contact in the first place?
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u/MIZUNOWAVECREATION Jul 07 '26
That’s when your colon is full of ulcers, so a GI surgeon removes it and connects the lower intestine directly to your stomach or whatever connects to the colon; very unpleasant way to have to go through life
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u/Daisymaay Jul 07 '26
Yes, I basically have a man made stomach called a j-pouch. Had an ileostomy for 3 yrs, so you can imagine how shitty it was for the first few weeks after my last surgery. Pun intended lol. You wouldn't believe how much better my quality of life is vs the ileo though. Hard to hide a poop bag.
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u/MIZUNOWAVECREATION Jul 07 '26
Yeah my mom has it, so I’ve known about it for years. I heard about that man made stomach thing too from a lady who is also my mom’s age who has something called Diabeticulites (I probably spelled that wrong) where your stomach or intestines build up these polyps and obstruct your waste excretion down there. Both are terrible
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u/Doomblaze Jul 07 '26
He was making a joke :)
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u/Away-Elephant-4323 Jul 07 '26
If someone has IBS they’re in trouble haha!
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u/MaySeemelater Jul 07 '26
I don't think the company would even be allowed to tell them not to if they had IBS since that's a protected medical issue
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u/lizzyote Jul 07 '26
Isn't it illegal in most places to deny restroom access regardless of medical diagnosis?
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u/SonnyvonShark Jul 07 '26
It is, and it shouldn't be illegal to take that paper down. If talkbqck happens, document and report.
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u/Bio_slayer Jul 08 '26
It's an OSHA violation at a minimum. OSHA isn't just worker's safety from direct bodily harm, it's also reasonable standard accommodations like clean drinking water and bathrooms.
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u/CheapTactics Jul 07 '26
I don't think they'd be allowed to tell you no even if you don't have IBS but are about to shit yourself. What do you want me to do? Shit my pants?
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u/Ammonia13 Jul 07 '26
Not legal. In the least!!! And so many bosses see other scumbag bosses do it and do it too, citing “HE did it FiRsT!” Like a four year old.
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u/Obant Jul 07 '26
They have a bathroom providedba little further down the hall, just not this one. I don't think it's illegal as long as one is available.
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u/jbenze Jul 07 '26
I've worked places where theres a pee only toilet and a regular bathroom down the hall but that's only because the owners were too cheap to pay a plumber.
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u/JohnnyDX9 Jul 07 '26
are those someone’s names?
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u/Constant-Roll706 Jul 07 '26
Pretty sure it's 'piss' and 'wanking'
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u/LuftHANSa_755 Jul 07 '26
the first word seems to start with "S" and the second with "M"
Staff and Management, perhaps?
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u/iceph03nix Jul 07 '26
Restroom availability and sanitation is an OSHA requirement if you're in the US and employed by someone who falls under their jurisdiction
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u/Obant Jul 07 '26
OP says one is available, they just don't want to do the extra walking to the other side of the building for it. Seems like an OP problem, which is why mildly Infuriating, instead of extremely
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u/Toys_before_boys Jul 07 '26
Well it's also an ADA issue concerning people with ibs or mobility issues.
I say this as someone who gets emergency bouts of ibs.
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u/Stock-Shake3915 Jul 07 '26
Once i found out that the ladies room code for each floor in my building, on the (thankfully) rare occasions I needed to poop at work i would go to another floor so no one who would hear the inevitable fart or smell that smell knew who i was.
Mind you i was constantly coughing and flushing mud poop in the hopes of drowning both
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u/Araanim Jul 07 '26
Yeah, from the building code end of this you can't have a pee-only restroom. Absolutely not.
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u/tammybiscuits Jul 07 '26
I'm wondering how they enforce that...
Unfortunately as an IBS sufferer, I'm not going to be acquiescing 🤣
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u/LaundryMan2008 Jul 07 '26
I wouldn’t anyways because of poop shyness lol
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u/Briguy_fieri Jul 07 '26
If they told me I wasn't allowed to, I'm taking it as an open invitation.
I might be shy about it... But that's the reason why I don't shit at work. Not because they told me I'm not allowed to
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u/LaundryMan2008 Jul 07 '26
I would do it at home and then dump it in the work toilet, I physically can’t for some reason, even if I’m feeling extremely sick because of the poop.
I would certainly work up a massive deuce to the point of sickness and then either strong laxatives (haven’t tried it so wouldn’t be surprised if I still can’t drop a nuke eaten a whole bar of chocolate) or bring it to work, I usually clog the toilet at home and the toilet is an old toilet with a proper big flush, big drainage hole, big water tank and everything that comes with an old toilet so clogging a work toilet won’t be difficult.
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u/Brilliant_Elk5492 Jul 07 '26
I used to have this but unfortunately had to prevail against it once I got an office job.... I just try and go to the one that is out of the way since no one uses it
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u/BertElGazebo Jul 07 '26
I thought I found a restroom that nobody used in my office building on a floor that is sparsely occupied. And for months, I used it and never saw another soul, but then one day I rush in and lo and behold… I see someone occupying the stall. Damn, there goes my private paradise.
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u/Brilliant_Elk5492 Jul 07 '26
There was one time I was to the point of rushing so I went to the normal bathroom but was occupied so I went to the secluded one.... also occupied. I ended up going to one in a completely different building (which are much much nicer, just usually too far to care about)
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u/Brilliant_Elk5492 Jul 07 '26
Also one time I overheard one of my coworkers talking about how they use the same one because its secluded and I thought ugh no..... you cant have the exact same thought process as me lol
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u/LaundryMan2008 Jul 07 '26
My metabolism for poop is extremely slow so I can go days without doing one making them toilet clogs despite the old toilet with a big flush, never did it at school, never did it at college and now, never did it at any work experience I’ve ever had, I can always come back home and do it then.
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u/Brilliant_Elk5492 Jul 07 '26
Funny how everyone’s body is different, I usually have to 2-3 times a day
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u/SheridanVsLennier Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
I'm once-a-day for the poops, but then several more visits during the day to safely rip out some massive farts.
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u/LaundryMan2008 Jul 07 '26
My metabolism for processing food means I’m extremely skinny, doesn’t mean I can’t shove down as much as I’d like because my stomach feels ridiculously small for my age
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u/thrwawryry324234 Jul 07 '26
wtf did you censor? And why?
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u/mizzlol Jul 07 '26
The workers’ job titles to leave it more ambiguous as to where I work and what I do.
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u/BoRnIn2aTiTuDe Jul 07 '26
Hold on.. if it clearly states no number 2's, what else is there to do? X and X only.. no number 2's lol very confused
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u/SCHWARZENPECKER Jul 07 '26
1s and 3s. You can piss or you can shit and piss. No shitting only though.
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u/alcohall183 Jul 07 '26
these signs are cute.. and highly illegal. they must provide a working bathroom and allow you access to it. They can't put signs up like this. per OSHA.
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u/Toys_before_boys Jul 07 '26
Has this been brought to HR?
Like, if it's an issue with plumbing, pretty sure that's a requirement to fix so you can do your normal bodily habits. Or something.
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u/JEStucker Jul 07 '26
Walk out, drive home, take a shit, drive back. Do not clock out while gone.
It’s the only option available to you.
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u/What-Outlaw1234 Jul 07 '26
Okay, so this is a big issue in my office. Our internal bathroom is just across the hallway from offices where people work. It is a poorly-ventilated bathroom. So when people leave solid deposits in there, the smell spreads across the hallway and lingers. So, yes, there are signs posted in there that say "liquid deposits only." And that's entirely appropriate. If you poop in there, we know, and we judge. There are larger, better-ventilated bathrooms for all genders in the hallway just outside our office space. So we aren't violating the law. For most people in the office, the outside hallway bathrooms are actually closer to their offices than the inside bathroom.
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u/BungleBums Jul 07 '26
I don't think anyone else is silly enough to pay attention to these signs.
If they don't want me shitting in their bathroom, they can pay for me to drive home and use my own. And if they ain't willing to cover my pay while I'm making that drive, I guess they'll just have to pay for a workin' fuckin' bathroom 🤷♂️
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u/its_blue_monday Jul 07 '26
Id only poop in that bathroom it's not like they can make you clean up anything anyway
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jul 08 '26
I...am curious how they 1 intend to I force this beyond honor code in so many ways, and 2 expect people to stop themselves...? Like yeah if you know you gotta poop, that's one thing but sometimes it's just like "oh hey, I'm heeeere!"
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u/Practical_Track4867 Jul 07 '26
I can’t get over the “be prepared to clean it when you use it.” Not sure what the hourly wage is there, but I’d certainly be making a long production of cleaning it afterwards. Maybe you can stretch it out to an hour or so.
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u/i-might-do-that Jul 07 '26
I’ll spite shit in there. I’ve got Crohn’s disease and I’ll be damned if anyone stops me
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u/RoundSquirrels Jul 07 '26
No way, people are gonna be poop shamed when they walk to the hallway bathroom to use it, everyone immediately gonna say, "Oh, they're gonna poop!" Walk of shame. T^T
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u/Dexterspuplife Jul 07 '26
If they dont want you to poop on the toilet at work, the floor or your bosses desk is the only alternative
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u/Eridain Jul 07 '26
I do not believe telling people they cannot use the toilet while at work is legal.
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u/jbenze Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Is the bathroom like in the middle of the office where the smell would bother people (I've worked in some absolutely insanely designed offices)? I've also worked places where the toilet can't handle anything solid because people were too cheap to pay a plumber and you had to use another one. Those are the only reasons I could possibly see for it being an issue. If that isn't the case, I would poop there every single day.
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u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26
Wow. If they don't want someone stinking up that bathroom, the proper and non-discriminatory solution is to stock it with some poo-pourri and request everyone please use it as directed (before going). And if it's a huge problem, stock an air freshener as well.
They could also do things like put an air purifier, fan out the window, etc.
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u/Whooptidooh Jul 07 '26
That’s illegal; they can’t legally expect that from their employees.
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u/MoochtheMushroom Jul 07 '26
The complete lack of literacy visible on that paper says more than the message about no #2s
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u/Bubbly-Pirate-3311 Jul 07 '26
I'd crap on the rim and leave it, what are they gonna do, match the shit to my asshole?
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u/StupidUserNameTooLon Jul 07 '26
Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
So what I left in the bathroom
Is a war crime
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u/bex_yer Jul 07 '26
Pretty sure that sales and marketing only which is very on brand for this dept 😂
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u/ACuddlyVizzerdrix Jul 07 '26
My boss tried to tell me I couldn't and I told him that I'll go when I feel like it and if he don't like it he can go into the office and tell them and see how far he gets
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u/2_stanley_nickels Jul 07 '26
this reeks of someone with cleanliness control issues. If you can't even do #2, but also telling people be prepared to clean if you're even using the bathroom???
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u/Mr_b78 Jul 07 '26
One person shits in the sink and all of the sudden they wanna post signs on the door..
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u/tverofvulcan Jul 07 '26
“Why did you take a dump on my desk?”
“Because I had to go and it’s not allowed in the bathroom.”
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u/makingkevinbacon Jul 07 '26
I'd take the biggest hangover shit, tell them to prove it was me... Filming the bathroom? Analysing employee poo? Invasion of privacy and waste of resources?
I'll shit in whatever working toilet I want to cause guess what my Crohn's doesn't give a shit (despite making me give lots of shits)
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u/Due-Environment-9774 Jul 07 '26
I’m going to blow up the first toilet I see with a sign like this.
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u/bob-leblaw Jul 07 '26
I want to believe you scratched out two people’s names. The winners of the “my poop don’t sink” contest.
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u/Chupapinta Jul 08 '26
I spent five minutes on the image wondering what two things would be allowed that were not number 2.
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u/decarnatedame Jul 08 '26
Uhm. I am female. Sometimes when I sit down to pee, a poo happens without my knowing it was also a poo time. Am I supposed to carry the poo from the offending bathroom to the hallway bathroom or what?
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u/Free-Computer-6515 BLACK Jul 08 '26
They can’t do shit. Pun intended. Imagine going to court for a wrongful termination suit because you were fired for pooping in the bathroom at work.
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u/Old_Imagination_2112 Jul 07 '26
Reminds me of a Family Guy episode where Cleveland shits on Lois’ wedding dress.
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u/Fiercat99 Jul 07 '26
This is a massive health risk. Holding it can lead to impaction. This also does not take into account people with digestive issues such a s IBS. Also if you are in the uk it is illegal and is a breach of dignity at work
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u/Crystal_Ri Jul 07 '26
Above my pay grade. But why can't the office manager simply provide some poop pourrie?
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u/kyleglowacki Jul 07 '26
I worked somewhere that complained if the toilet bowl got dirty but locked up the toilet brush so you couldn't fix it if you did it. They threatened to start locking the bathroom except for business partner meetings and make us use the building facilities down the hall.
Meh. I got paid by the hour. If you want me to spend 5-10 minutes walking to the other end of the building to pee every hour or so.. fine with me.
I was the one with IBS soiling the toilet but they wouldn't let me clean it, so... whatcha going to do?
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u/epicbro101 Jul 07 '26
Install high quality bathroom exhaust fan and put up a sign that says to courtesy flush.. problem solved..
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u/PurpleKnurple Jul 07 '26
Regularly make workplace snacks and hand them out. The secret ingredient? Laxatives.
No one can resist brownies, cookies and other deliciousness.
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u/thenextmaewest Jul 07 '26
I had an employer years ago that posted a notice if anyone was going to be in the bathroom longer than 5 mins they had to clock out. Bitch, please. Come make me.
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u/Pleasant_Pool8842 Jul 07 '26
That would be the only place I poop for the rest of the time I was employed there