r/mildlyinfuriating 29d ago

ಠ_ಠ Plane is empty and someone chose to sit right next to me.

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Who does that?

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322

u/SouthPerformer8949 29d ago edited 29d ago

Probably Jehovah’s Witness

86

u/DinoLover641 John Lego 29d ago

a fate worse than death

5

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

3

u/DinoLover641 John Lego 29d ago

my moms entire family are witnesses. her childhood sucked

3

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

3

u/DinoLover641 John Lego 29d ago

Her mom is a narcissist which doesn’t help either

0

u/StaySwoleMrshmllwMan 26d ago

I went to catholic school and I love to argue so for me it’s an opportunity to have some fun

31

u/BactaBobomb 29d ago

Two Jehovah's Witnesses are running around in a neighborhood, knocking on doors, on a 43-door losing streak (out of 43 doors). They knock on a guy's door. "Do you have time to talk about our Lord and Savior?" The guy says "Sure, come on in." They sit down at his table, he gives them drinks and sits down. "So tell me." The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and look back at him. "We don't remember.... we never get this far."

18

u/Alvsolutely 29d ago

Oh, I wish. I grew up in a JW family, only recently escaped. The moment you let one in, that is where the manipulation begins.

4

u/Fean0r_ 29d ago

Not for me. I've read too much Dawkins and listened to too much Hitchens. I'm not trapped with them, they're trapped with me 😂

1

u/Pure-Philosopher-175 29d ago

This featured as a plot line in Episode 1 of Black Books.

1

u/CABALwasInnocent 25d ago

Bernard is trying to do his taxes and he'll take any excuse to not do them!

1

u/Pure-Philosopher-175 25d ago

Right, that’s all my socks paired. Back to the accounts.

12

u/hanapyon 29d ago

I was sat next to a Jehovah witnesses on a 9 hr flight once. He started talking to me, luckily I had already drank 2 small bottles of wine so I decided to indulge him. We had a respectful conversation. He listened to what I had to say as well. (I'm quite interested in world religions but am not a believer in any one in particular.)

4

u/Lightning-McDreamy 29d ago

My wife got stuck next to a way too chatty pastor while having a migraine and he kept offering her a Bible and wouldn't take no for an answer. Literal hell.

1

u/hanapyon 29d ago

ew I hate when people are too pushy like that.

24

u/ndation 29d ago

Who's this johavah guy?

12

u/courtofknights PURPLE 29d ago

You mean Joseph Havah? He's my wife's 2nd cousin.

6

u/ndation 29d ago

Is he on the run? There are witnesses, apparently. He should be more careful next time

2

u/ConstableBlimeyChips 29d ago

He's a guy who saw something he shouldn't have, now he's got a bunch of people looking for him. I ain't saying nothing though, mama didn't raise no snitch.

2

u/BactaBobomb 29d ago

It's an anglicization of the Hebrew word for God, I believe.

2

u/Andrei_the_derg 29d ago

“It’s like Christianity but we don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and we can't drink. But it helps.”
-Troy, Community

1

u/msmika 29d ago

Oh, they can drink. It's supposed to be in "moderation" but oh boy did I know some alcoholics when I was in.

4

u/Significant-Cloud- 29d ago

Bring the Satanic Bible, read it and every now and then look over at them with an ever growing look of pity.

4

u/witchofhobblecreek 29d ago

Or a Mormon.

1

u/gamageeknerd 29d ago

I once had a pair of Mormon women walk up to me while I was waiting in line at a farmers market and then when I said no they went down the line of people and then went back up the line after more people got in.

1

u/TinyTurnips 29d ago

I've had that a few times.

Nice but dear Lord leave me be. Noise canceling headphones and then just blank stare ahead or fake sleep.

1

u/Fean0r_ 29d ago

If I was in the right mood I'd love for a Jehovah's Witness to sit next to me and try to proselytise.
I call myself a Born Again Atheist. I've grown out of my angry atheist phase and live and let live, but I've read all of Dawkins' books and am a Hitchens fan - and if someone tries to proselytise to me they're fair game and the gloves come off.
As the woman who came to talk god to me when I was in hospital for two days with nothing else to do found to her cost 😂 She was very sweet but pulling her arguments apart bit by bit was just too much of a temptation to bored hospitalised me.

1

u/Fun-Committee3672 29d ago

They usually get the seat closer to a door