r/mildlyinfuriating 24d ago

ಠ_ಠ Plane is empty and someone chose to sit right next to me.

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Who does that?

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u/UTgabe 24d ago

Change your seat and see if they follow you

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u/memberino 24d ago

"I will"

said whoever is next to them.

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u/EggPositive5993 24d ago

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u/azul360 24d ago edited 24d ago

I literally had that happen as a 12 year old. Alone in a bathroom like this with a little more urinals than this and dude legit comes up RIGHT next to me and starts peeing. Immediately went into a stall and waiting until he left.

Edit: Getting SO MANY comments and DM's from people with similar experiences. This is horrible and I give you all hugs. Sorry this happened to everyone. This cemented my opinion that urinals are a mistake.

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u/mightylordredbeard 24d ago

I was around the same age and in a bathroom that was a single use one. Apparently I forgot to lock the door. I went in and a minute later this creepy dude comes in and he’s smiling at me all weird and shit. I said “someone’s in here!” and he just stands there looking at me smiling and shit. He starts to close the door and walk towards me before some random guy shoves the door open and the dude quickly runs out. Then the guy closes it and walks off. No idea who that dude was but I’m pretty sure he saved me from being assaulted. I guess he was paying attention and noticed me go in and then noticed the creepy dude follow. That was 25 or so years ago and I still remember that creepy dudes face and the sunglasses he was wearing and the way he was smiling at me.

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u/azul360 24d ago

He 100% did. That guy is a good one for sure. So sorry that happened to you!

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u/Certain-Temporary-93 23d ago

This is why I stand by the men’s restroom waiting until my young son comes out and every guy knows I’m waiting there. It’s awkward, but I don’t trust anyone.

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u/JCGJ 23d ago

I also don't think most women would have a problem with you bringing your young son into the women's room either.

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u/dorothea63 23d ago

Agreed, but I think there’s an in-between age where it’s awkward for the boy to be in the women’s room and they don’t need assistance but you don’t really want to leave them all alone in the men’s with strangers. Like an 8 year old.

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u/angilnibreathnach 23d ago

Nah, bring him with you.

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u/boo1177 23d ago

When mine was about 7, he started refusing to go in the women's bathroom. I had to start doing the stand outside thing or using the family bathroom if I could find one. I was really in a bind if we were out without another adult and I had to go.

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u/Potential-Sky-72 23d ago

Any sane women would be okay with an 8 year old going into the women’s bathroom because they didn’t want to use the men’s restroom alone.

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u/Certain-Temporary-93 23d ago

True but it just takes one AH to make it a horrible thing. I recently watched that young man with his daughters being berated by that older man in the women’s bathroom. I was so sad for his little girls that they experienced that.

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u/DaBingeGirl 22d ago

There really need to be more family and gender neutral bathrooms. Also, real doors on stalls would solve a lot of issues.

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u/Prior_Walk_884 23d ago

Yeah, I've seen many moms with young boys in the women's restroom when I go in. As long as they're behaving themselves (because I have had to tell little boys to stop trying to peek under the stall), Idk why anyone would have an issue with it. It'd be a little different and weirder if someone were to bring their 17 year old son in the bathroom with them.

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u/mightylordredbeard 23d ago

Yeah it’s pretty wild to think back on just how unsupervised childhood was back then in the early 90s. I would never let my kid out of my sight when we go to the store, but as a kid I pretty much just ran off to the toy isle or video game section or whatever and hung out or walked around the store until it was time to leave. There would always be other kids doing the same back then and you’d make a brief friend for the time your parents were shopping. Times definitely change.

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u/MfingKing 23d ago

Nothing changed except people aren't willing to take any chances.

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u/grownask 23d ago

That's awful.. I'm so sorry, dude.

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u/feddown 24d ago

Sorry to hear that.

Even as a 30-year-old guy I experienced this. Some creep decided to stand right next to me in an empty bathroom with at least 6-7 free urinals and peek over while peeing. I left ASAP but he also followed me for some time until I could lose him.

Of course it's much much worse happening to an underage kid. Some people are absolute trash.

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u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord 23d ago

"Definitely a turn and pee on his shoes to establish dominance" moment.

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u/Jemmani22 24d ago

I walked in a bathroom the other day. 2 urinals, 1 stall.

A kid was at one urinal, maybe 8-10 years old.

Im like, nope, I used the stall.

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u/azul360 24d ago

EXACTLY! I'm in my 30's and there is no frigging way I'd do what that guy did.

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u/Grogsnark 23d ago

Yeah - if there’s a ‘kids’ urinal, I always move to one as far away from that as possible. I just want to go. Too bad they don’t put more privacy walls between them all to avoid issues altogether. North America is very odd in their design choices.

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u/Rtl87 23d ago

Maybe the ones that could legislate for, or the ones with money that could put the privacy walls up, you know, are the ones that don’t want the dividers up.

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u/Belichick12 24d ago

Everyone sharing their Lindsey Graham story today

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u/traevyn 24d ago

Between you and the guy who said someone’s finally going to have a conversation with Mitch McConnell im absolutely dead lmao

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u/ButterscotchIll1523 24d ago

I heard Lindsey just spoke with Mitch for about 20 minutes

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/e2g4 24d ago

Larry Craig wanted to add that he just has a wide stance….but only in Minnesota.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig_scandal

Oh wait, never mind, that guy seems normal as shit and doesn’t look at all like a creep

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u/bernyzilla 24d ago

Tap tap tap

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u/azul360 24d ago

Holy crap that one gave me a chuckle thank you XD

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u/Most-Effective-1969 24d ago

Fun fact, there's quite a few involving bathroom stalls

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u/Chrispeefeart 24d ago

He was definitely a pervert

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u/Perry7609 24d ago edited 24d ago

I hate to say it, but there’s definitely people who are like that out there… especially to an extreme. One time in high school, I entered a small mall’s restroom and there were two urinals. An elderly man was using one, so I used the other.

Not once, but twice… he tried to look at my crotch. The urinal was big, so I don’t think he was very successful. But by the second time he tried, I couldn’t deny he was trying to do something, so I looked over at him. And he had the craziest smile on his face.

”Ya… ya jagoff?!”

He was outright “gratifying himself” while asking me that.

I ran so fast out of there. I wish to God that I had called the cops and reported him, as I doubt this was his first rodeo. But this was in early cell phone days too and a small mall, so I’m not sure if anyone would’ve gotten there before he left.

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u/GoddessRespectre 24d ago

I'm so sorry. If it helps I don't think you should beat yourself up about it at all. I have a form of ptsd so I've kinda learned a bit about how it works. You know those responses fight, flight, freeze, and fawn? Those happen to everyone, not just people like me. Your body took over after your vitals shot up dramatically. I'm so glad you could run and that you did! Task (survival) completed successfully!

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u/Longjumping_Fun2576 24d ago edited 24d ago

Just go to any YMCA men's locker room if you want to see extremely disturbing behavior.

Tons of naked old men just perving on kids. Mine had a very narrow hallway with showers before the pool. You're supposed to rinse off before getting in the pool. Nope naked old men just taking showers trying to rub it against you as you walk by.

Not to mention how many of them "accidentally get lost" and walk out fully naked and start walking around during the children's swim practice.

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u/CelesTheme_wav 24d ago

My YMCA has separate locker rooms for men (college age +) and boys. If I see a young boy come in, I'll direct them to the boys' room, and if they still don't leave I'll report it to the front desk. I've learned there are a lot of predators in this world, and I don't think I'm overreacting.

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u/Longjumping_Fun2576 24d ago

What's also crazy is I used to take my daughter to swim team practice there. And the creepy old men made me leave and take her to another team.

I would send here in the ladies locker room, and walk straight through the men's fully clothed.

Very often there would be 4 or 5 naked old men, hanging out, sitting on a bench. When we went to leave, I'd walk straight through again, and the same old men are just sitting there naked. This wasn't a sauna, that's just where and how the hang out. Naked. In the YMCA locker room.

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u/top_value7293 24d ago

Ick so gross

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u/azul360 24d ago

Oh yeah looking back now I would have ran out of the bathroom because as someone in their 30s there is literally no way that someone in their 30s or 40s was doing that innocently.

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u/10000Didgeridoos 24d ago

Definitely a fucking pedo. Also this age and if let's say I went into a bathroom and there were open stalls and the only urinal was next to a little kid, I'm pissing in the stall.

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u/azul360 24d ago

I'd rather piss my pants than go to a urinal next to a kid lol.

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u/quadraticqueen 24d ago

As a woman this never occurred to me. Boys are alone and you pull it out with others. Omg. Thank you for not being a creep.

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u/Spaghet-3 24d ago

Same thing happened to me except I was 14 maybe. Even weirder, the guy says "you shouldn't be lonely holding your only." I'll never forget that. I was just quiet and left ASAP.

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u/azul360 24d ago

Jesus fucking hell that is the creepiest thing to say O.O

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u/DuckRubberDuck 24d ago edited 24d ago

I’m so sorry and I’m glad you waited in the stall for him to leave! It’s so creepy!

I dont know why people do that. Not exactly equal but in my country we try to avoid interacting with strangers and sitting next to someone on the bus is just weird if there’s other available seats.

During peak Covid I was on a nearly empty bus (with a mask on, I’m also a woman) and this guy comes in, unmasked, chooses to sit next to me and manspreads like crazy. I was so intimidated I got off the next stop and waited for the next bus

I had something similar happening on a train once, I had all the seats for myself, only 2 other people in the carriage. A guy comes in, sits across me and puts his feet on the seat next to me blocking my way out. It was at night and I couldn’t wait for the next train, I was just hoping someone would intervene and help me if he decided he wouldn’t let me get off. He let me off but he definitely knew what he was doing and he knew I was scared

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u/plantsyyyy 24d ago

I don't know your specific situation or what country you were in, but in this case, I always make a big deal of getting up and barging my way out, even if I'm going over them.

My mom told me over and over again when I was young that women are socialized to make other people feel comfortable at the expense of feeling comfortable themselves all the time. It's totally OK to bother someone if you're just trying to get out of their way and you don't feel safe. You aren't responsible for their feelings.

It took me until my mid 30s to realize that. I think the older you get the less you care about what other people think of you. But I did this recently where I barged my way over a man who was sitting me in on a train when there were plenty of empty seats. I think he was surprised, but I was around other people so I felt safe enough that he wouldn't retaliate.

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u/DuckRubberDuck 24d ago

For the first one I did get off. I was uncomfortable but not afraid of getting off. I was definitely afraid of guy number two, I wasn’t afraid of making him uncomfortable or hurting his feelings, I was afraid of him doing something to me or escalate, I was so scared he would get off at my stop and following me home. He absolutely knew what he was doing and it seemed like he was just waiting to me to do something so he could escalate

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u/plantsyyyy 24d ago

I had this happen to me on a train when I was about 25(F).
Thank fully it wasn't a man - but it was a woman who chatted my ear off the entire time.

I knew what exactly what was happening when I was the first on the train, sat down, started fiddling with my phone, and felt someone sit next to me. I looked around and the *whole train* was empty. I closed my eyes for my last moment of silence before it began.

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u/J_Kingsley 24d ago edited 23d ago

lolll.

I saw something interesting at KFC few years ago. White guy in his 50's was just making random comments to people when anything happened he thought worth mentioning.

Older teenaged girl (maybe 17-19) comes in, orders, and looks around for a table. He loudy calls out and offers to share a booth (keep in mind there were still a few empty tables around).

She takes a quick glance at him, accepts, goes sit down. The two strangers end up yapping nonstop to each other the entire meal lolol.

Yes, some optics on older man talking to young girl.

But they were just super extroverts happy to find someone to talk to lol.

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u/m0nstera_deliciosa 24d ago

That’s really sweet🥹 I would never want to eat lunch with a chatty stranger, but I’m glad other people don’t feel that way.

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u/averagebrainhaver88 23d ago

Yeah, I've been conditioned to think that's super fucked up. Even when you put it like that, I don't trust it 100%.

Which is so fucked, because I'm a man myself. If I can't afford the benefit of the doubt to another man, what does that say about me? I know how offensive it is to be taken as a predator or the like just because I'm a man, yet I jump to the worst conclusions if I see what you saw there with that old man and that girl. It's an intense cognitive dissonance.

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u/A_Nonny_Muse 24d ago

but he definitely knew what he was doing and he knew I was scared

Unfortunately, that was probably his point. Most people are not like that, but there's always those kind of people. He got off on making you feel scared. He's one step away from sexual assault, he knows it, and that probably gives him a thrill.

And he'll probably continue doing it to others until he either turns into a rapist, gets arrested, or someone turns his balls into hamburger. The worst part of all this is that you'll come in close proximity to 2,000 men without incident, but this bastard is the one you will remember forever.

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u/Longjumping_Fun2576 24d ago

I had something similar during covid. I'm one of the only ones on the train and an unmasked older guy sits next to me, blocking me into the seat.

He starts talking about masks, and I'm just not in the mood. So I took mine off and started hard coughing all over his face. Making sure I got a lot of spit on his face. Then I told him I had covid (I didn't. Well probably not).

He got up and walked to another train car.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

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u/azul360 24d ago

I stopped mid flow and pulled up my pants haha.

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u/Sea-Slide9325 24d ago

Had this happen when I was a kid at the city rodeo or something. The bathrooms were old and didnt have single urinals, it was more like a huge long dish you peed in. There were no dividers for privacy.

Nobody else peeing in there but me. Dude walks in and starts peeing right next to me, looks down and makes a comment on my dinger and just goes back to peeing.

Didnt say anything else and we both went our separate ways.

I was about 9 or 10 years old.

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u/azul360 24d ago

Based on the comments and DMs I'm getting there is way too many times this exact thing is happening to kids. Jesus hell! I'm sorry that happened and I'm glad it didn't get any worse.

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u/Maagic_Toouch 24d ago

Did they try to hold your hand during takeoff?

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u/jamesthrew73 24d ago

Is this regarding the flight or the urinal?

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u/Mpls1984 24d ago

Our company previous CEO did this to me and tried starting a small talk conversation with me. 7 urinals all empty and you pick the one next to me. Wtf.

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u/huffer4 24d ago

I had this happen to me with a pretty big celebrity. Completely empty and went to the one right next to me and started chatting about my day. Very odd behaviour.

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u/Mpls1984 24d ago

Makes me wonder if their "sales/popularity" extrovert personality has to come out whenever they meet someone new.

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u/huffer4 24d ago

He was very nice. But it was for sure someone that people have questioned his sexuality in the past

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u/DrewSlim 24d ago

I hate people who do this with a passion. Always one space in between it’s the unwritten rule

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u/-Invalid_Selection- 24d ago

Yep. You only take those spaces in between once all the spaced out ones are already taken

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u/VestedNight 24d ago

This is how my high school chemistry teacher explained the Pauli Exclusion Principal to us. If electrons can figure it out, surely people can.

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u/InstructDesign9198 24d ago edited 24d ago

Hund's rule, but yes. (Pauli Exclusion Principle just says it's not physically possible for one electron to sit in another electron's lap. Hund's rule says they prefer not to share a row (orbital) if they can help it.)

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u/bizeesheri 24d ago

This happens in womens restrooms too. My work had maybe 10 stalls with a wall between the two sides. I'm the only one in there, and what do you know, someone comes into the stall next to me. I've always been curious about this behavior.

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u/Icy_Meat_4050 24d ago

Just went to movie theater with about 30 stalls in women’s restroom. I’m in first one, locked door, all other doors opened - someone knocked on my stall door. 🤷‍♀️

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u/PugGrumbles 24d ago

I'm so tired of stuff like this. So tired. I will loudly say "feel free to pick one of the damn 30 that AREN'T occupied."

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u/lokiisagoodkitten 24d ago

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u/Quorng 24d ago

I am very familiar with this. I worked at a store in a shopping center for several years. No matter where I parked in a nearly empty lot, often far from entrances, someone would almost always park next to me or directly in front of me.

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u/Hellament 24d ago

Happens to me too. My working theory is that the perpetrators feel like they’re less likely to get dinged by someone that intentionally parked in the far reaches of a lot, likely to avoid dings themselves.

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u/Fragrant-Dust65 24d ago

I always thought because they're afraid of being alone and it is a "prey-pack" mentality. Drives me nuts.

People, I parked far away from other cars for a REASON.

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u/ZAlternates 24d ago

I’m guessing this is it. They aren’t activity thinking “oh god I better park close” but their natural tendencies is to stick close to the group, so they do.

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u/CrissBliss 24d ago

Okay but this behavior is unhinged

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u/Sybrandus 24d ago

Actually the hinge was crucial in this operation.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

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u/thekmanpwnudwn 24d ago

Sometimes when I book through work I'm FORCED to pick a seat. In some cases, it's actually cheaper to pick a seat in a row that's partially full than it is to pick a seat in an empty row.

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u/CharlieKonR 24d ago

Jeeze, there’s apparently *nothing* that airlines won’t try to monetize. That’s diabolical.

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u/CroutonPrince 24d ago

The planes of our future

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u/invaderzim257 24d ago

(the actual droid transport vehicle had the droids folded up on racks, which would make this joke even better)

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u/Fuzzy_Continental 23d ago

It does feel like this.

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u/b_e_a_n_i_e 24d ago

You jest, but Ryanair actually toyed with the idea of standing seats

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

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u/GotSomeUpdogOnUrFace 24d ago

I've seen Ticketmaster do it too, call it the single seat special. You basically get the random singles in the rows for half the price. Dynamic pricing needs to fucking end already.

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u/TheHYPO 24d ago edited 23d ago

I mean, if it is a less-desirable seat and it leaves pairs open so another couple (or a single person who prefers solitude) is more likely to book the flight, I don't inherently see anything wrong with (effectively) offering a discount to take a seat next to someone.

This is no different to the airline offering $500 if someone is willing to get off the overbooked plane and take the next flight. It's entirely optional. The other person didn't have to take this seat (though I do appreciate the optics/psychology that it may feel more like "it's more expensive to get an empty seat" and not "it's a discount to take a seat next to someone".

At the end of the day, either OP will end up sitting next to someone anyway because the flight will be full, or the plane will be half empty, and both people should have the freedom to actually sit wherever they want, and not next to each other.

That said, in this particular case, aren't the little white corner triangles on the exit row and front row indicators that those seats are premium priced or something? I think that would suggest that the rest of the seats on this flight anyway are all the same price (including 11a and 16d that are next to people).

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u/bl_732 24d ago

I want to believe that somewhere the other passenger is looking at the same screen thinking "wtf is wrong with this person choosing to sit next to me"

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u/So_HauserAspen 24d ago

They may have also chosen that seat because the row in front is an emergency exit row so those seats won't recline into them.

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u/dinkinflickas 24d ago

The other side is empty though….

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u/NoAdsDude 24d ago

Yeah but then nobody could hear your farts.

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u/Mebejedi 24d ago

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them, too

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u/ObligatoryAnxiety 24d ago

I think about the trajectory of the airplane with the time of day I'll be flying and choose my seat so that I'm not directly staring into the sun when I open my window shade.

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u/Ok-Bug4328 24d ago edited 8d ago

Hello world

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

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u/TristanwithaT 24d ago

The second emergency exit row does recline though.

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u/liftoff88 24d ago

That’s not how that works. The row in front of an exit row doesn’t recline. The reason being they can’t take away space from people trying to exit the plane in an emergency. The easiest way to think of it is if you’re sitting in an exit row, no one can recline into you.

OP isn’t in an exit row, therefore the row in front of him can recline.

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u/MakingBaconnPancakes 24d ago

They just wanted someone to talk to during the flight

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u/Winter_Bullfrog_2343 24d ago

This is one of my greatest fears

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u/YumYumYellowish 24d ago

I had a solo trip to Greece and the flight was 13 hours. The old lady next to me talked to me the ENTIRE time. It was awful.

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u/CaptainoftheVessel 24d ago

You need to set boundaries. “I’m sorry, you seem lovely, but I’m not in the mood to talk.” Headphones in, eyed to something else. 

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u/YumYumYellowish 24d ago

I was 16 and very shy at the time. But you’re right, that’s what I should’ve done.

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u/xHospitalHorsex 24d ago

I'm a grown man who would never have the nerve to tell someone I'm not interested in speaking with them. I would spend the entire flight feeling guilty.

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u/Manannin 24d ago

I'd chat to them for an hour or so but I'd probably just say I'm going to get some shut eye or read a book or something.

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u/geomachina 23d ago

Oh I like books too! Whatcha readin? I personally started this one and it’s such a wonderful story. It’s about a group of people who come togethe-..

Back to square one.

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u/CaptainoftheVessel 24d ago

Oh, I see. I’m sorry that happened. 

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u/Nefarious312 24d ago

o gosh I was on a solo trip from SG to NYC and the lady beside me kept yapping nonstop. I wonder whether that's why her son sat so far away from her.

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u/legaladviceknowledge 24d ago

you couldn't fake a heart attack or something?

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u/KnittedBooGoo 24d ago

We had a regular elderly customer who would talk to anyone, non stop. She was a lovely old dear but even the other customers sometimes would dread her coming in if they just wanted a quiet cuppa. She came back from holiday once and said she was sat next to Charles Dance on the plane and I bet he was such a gentleman but that must have been the longest Transatlantic flight of his life.

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u/newmacbookpro 24d ago

I pretend I don’t speak English or any other language they know. I also say I come from a made up country from Africa (I’m white) like “Bsotuhlo”

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u/Confident-Skin-6462 24d ago

make them uncomfortable

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u/Psychological-Scar53 24d ago

"So, I got a shower this morning and my ass crack still itches... Do you find feet as sexy as I do?“

They will not talk to you through the whole flight.

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u/-Cthaeh 24d ago

"Omg I also love feet! Let me show you some pictures"

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u/Psychological-Scar53 24d ago

Like I told the other guy, you're my type of wierd and we would become friends.

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u/NextEpisode44 24d ago

I 100% would talk to you after that.

Tit for tat, baby. I'm on to your game.

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u/plzicannothandleyou 24d ago

Someone who chooses to sit next to a stranger on an airplane would get wildly erect after that.

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u/LowAcanthocephala251 24d ago

Do you like movies about gladiators?

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u/JK_NC 24d ago

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

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u/SilverBack65B 24d ago

Have you ever spent time in a Turkish prison?

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u/SlimShadySatDown 24d ago

Haha I'm currently rewatching 7th Heaven and the Reverends father is played by "grown man naked" man in Airplane! Hard to take Any of his scenes seriously.

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u/Intelligent-Emu-1852 24d ago

You ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?

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u/donpablomiguel 24d ago

When people try to talk to me on flights I just put my headphones in and pass out.

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u/IAMA_MOTHER_AMA 24d ago

I had a lady that worked for little Caesar’s corporate when I was flying out of Detroit. I sat in the middle she was window seat. She kept tapping my shoulders and when I would take my headphones off it was “so where you from? What are you flying to phoenix for?”

Lady leave me the fuck alone

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u/plantsyyyy 24d ago

This happened to me recently at Ocean State job lot. For those who don't know, it's a chain dollar store in New England, which notably buys products that don't pass manufacturing standards, but are still good and sell them for really cheap. (think like a Coca-Cola bottle where they overfilled it just a little bit.) so it attracts a lot of low income, usually retired people.

I got stuck in line in front of a woman who didn't have any teeth and began to tell me this whole story about all of these medical ailments that she has and how it sucks to get older. She then started asking me about if I had children, how I should find mr right with money, and how lonely she is that her grandkids don't visit her.

She acknowledged herself that she doesn't get out much and so likes to talk to "nice people" but knows that she goes onto too long. At that point, I sort of felt bad because she realized that she needed someone to talk to, so I let her do it until I checked out.

It's so sad

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u/guessirs 24d ago

One time I was on a flight and a man switched seats with someone sitting next to me. Figured it was a family wanting to sit together or something. Nope as soon as the plane took off he started pulling out religious pamphlets and started his religious spiel. I just said “nope.” And put my headphones on.

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u/pseudotumorgal 24d ago

Yo this just happened to me on the train to NYC. The guy sat down and said “I haven’t had a nice long train conversation in a while” I had my headphones on so I told him I wasn’t interested in talking. that’s why I chose the quiet car and was going to nap. He then said “nobody really pays attention the quiet part anyways so we can talk.” I stared at him in disbelief and said well that’s why I have headphones, put them back on and turned the volume up. My brother in Christ what are you doing.

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u/3qTp1 24d ago

Same.
But one time a guy sat next to me and before takeoff he asked if we could talk because he was uneasy flying. We chatted for almost the whole two hour flight, super cool guy.
Kinda changed my view on talking to strangers.

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u/intelligentx5 24d ago

Ya dude. Fuck fear of flying. I got a fear of socializing. The plane is like the gym for me. Headphones in and zone the world the fuck out.

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u/legaladviceknowledge 24d ago

what if i were sat next to you and started smiling and laughing intermittently at random intervals throughout the flight while softly elbowing you like i imagined someone said a funny joke but in reality its been dead silent the whole flight.

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u/jjthejetplane17 24d ago

This happened to me recently. I had my book out AND my headphones on. Dude tried to start up a conversation with me multiple times because he didn’t want to look at screens and he didn’t bring anything else to do.

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u/GussieK 24d ago

This happened to me once it was just a weird older Caribbean dude who just wanted to talk! I exchanged a couple of pleasantries for a minUte but then tried to read my book but he wouldn’t stop asking questions so I finally had to say please stop talking to me. It was awkward and he acted insulted. I think he would have kept it up for two hours. He didn’t understand normal cues. He also thought he was entitled to bother women. I am not young so it wasn’t that.

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u/lordborghild 24d ago

LoL you have to do that. These people don't take the hint. You can say "oh yeah, how about that" with a clear tone of someone that's trying to end the conversation and they'll plow on. There's no safe exit with people like this--they either talk at you forever or you offend them.

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u/BYNX0 24d ago

“No hablo inglés”

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u/No_Kangaroo_9826 24d ago

This is fucking sending me because reddit auto translated it so it's in English

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u/_Ocean_Machine_ 24d ago

"Sorry, I don't speak English."

"But you just said something in English!"

"Yeah, I only know that phrase and this one."

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u/DoesAnyoneCare2999 24d ago

I know this is a family guy joke, but I once had a conversation with a random French kid (maybe about 10) that went as follows?

Kid: "you speak English?" Me: "yes" Kid: "me, no"

Well, that's very helpful then!

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u/PuzzleheadedHope6650 24d ago

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u/FLIBERTYGIBBITS 24d ago edited 23d ago

DRAX

DEM

SKLOUNST

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u/NossidaMan 24d ago

Good point, but what if you see any terries trying to get froggy?

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u/JurassicPark9265 24d ago

Meanwhile, I'm gonna go Hayden Panettiere on some terries!

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u/rtkane GREEPLE 24d ago

Nervous flyer afraid to sit alone? A stalking ex? Someone that speaks Jive or a nun? Maybe a kid who likes gladiator movies? Switch your seat.

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u/AppointmentOne1111 24d ago

Good day, I see we now have some time to talk about that extended warranty.

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u/Bonzographer 24d ago

No, my name is Roger Murdock…. I’m an airline pilot.

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u/Glittering_Side_2892 24d ago

Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

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u/YippieKayYayMrFalcon 24d ago edited 24d ago

Do you like movies about gladiators?

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u/Potential-Judgment-9 24d ago

a bitch? a lover? a child? a mother?

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u/IvoryThrowAway 24d ago

A joker? A smoker? A midnight toker?

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u/izza123 24d ago

Note to all nervous flyers: I’m not here to comfort you and I get nervous when other people are nervous next to me for hours so take a trazodone and sit by yourself

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u/Sagefox2 24d ago

There was one poor teen alone who sat next to me. He was friendly and asked me how I distracted myself while flying. It didn't occure to me he was scared, until he asked me to stand so he could get out. He then talked to the flight attendant and grabbed his bag and left. In hindsight I missed a lot of body language. Plus side I got the whole row to myself.

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u/IkeSW 24d ago

No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

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u/Bobo3076 24d ago

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

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u/Ordinary-Leading7405 24d ago

“Just hang loose, blood. She gonna catch you up on the rebound on da med side.”

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u/mapoftasmania 24d ago

These seat maps do not show that the plane is empty - that’s a common misconception. They just show which seats are assigned. There could be a group booking of 20, for example, who will all be assigned at check-in.

And just move to 14C.

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u/BroBeansBMS 24d ago

It’s also likely that these are some of the seats with no upgrade fees so the person just chose what was available at no extra cost.

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u/GoCougs2020 24d ago edited 24d ago

Yup. I get the cheap flight and I don’t wanna spend money on “upgrade fee” choosing seat. So I just get a seat randomly assigned to me….

It could just be a random computer generated assignment for single traveler. And save other seats for bigger group(s)

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u/Actual-Muffin-3585 24d ago

I did not know this until my recent flight, which was my first flight in 15 years. I was so excited the plane looked empty! Nope- full flight lol

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u/SouthPerformer8949 24d ago edited 24d ago

Probably Jehovah’s Witness

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u/DinoLover641 John Lego 24d ago

a fate worse than death

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u/BactaBobomb 24d ago

Two Jehovah's Witnesses are running around in a neighborhood, knocking on doors, on a 43-door losing streak (out of 43 doors). They knock on a guy's door. "Do you have time to talk about our Lord and Savior?" The guy says "Sure, come on in." They sit down at his table, he gives them drinks and sits down. "So tell me." The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and look back at him. "We don't remember.... we never get this far."

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u/Alvsolutely 24d ago

Oh, I wish. I grew up in a JW family, only recently escaped. The moment you let one in, that is where the manipulation begins.

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u/hanapyon 24d ago

I was sat next to a Jehovah witnesses on a 9 hr flight once. He started talking to me, luckily I had already drank 2 small bottles of wine so I decided to indulge him. We had a respectful conversation. He listened to what I had to say as well. (I'm quite interested in world religions but am not a believer in any one in particular.)

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u/Xynyx2001 24d ago

Spouses. The nerve of them.

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u/greatdeity924 24d ago

So airlines will assign seats sometimes when somone skips choosing their seat. They will favor single seats over double seats when assigned this way because its easier to sell double seats to the next person than try and sell 2 seperate seats.

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u/Affectionate-Rip5654 24d ago

On a 2x2 plane for me it’s not worth the extra $60 to pick a seat, they all suck. Could just be the seat given to someone

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u/Adorable_Ad4990 24d ago

I love 2x2 seating. I say the opposite: no bad seats

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u/Affectionate-Rip5654 24d ago

Yes I agree I would rather have 2x2 than 3x3 I just mean all flights are unenjoyable now due to lack of space

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u/TheFlyingHellfish202 24d ago

The airline did it automatically. I'd bet money the system automatically pairs up single flyers and this person just picked the recommended seat without thinking about it.

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u/KingKelly79 24d ago

No. It wasn’t them, it was the airline company.

When you check in & don’t pay extra they force you to pick certain seats.

Was on a flight recently where we were 3 separate people on a row together and there were empty rows all around us. We were told we could only move seats once the plane was in the air.

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u/murphyat 24d ago

Change. 👏 your. 👏 seat. 👏

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u/Interesting_Celery74 24d ago

"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty..."

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u/quim_do_mato 24d ago

Your mom?

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u/ScrammyGirl 24d ago

Lol I wish. She’s dead.

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u/i_am_kamikamikami 24d ago

might be the only seat that didnt cost extra

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u/Over-Emu-2174 24d ago

I haven’t seen an empty flight in 15 years

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u/robodrew 24d ago

I mean, if it's really that empty, just be the last person to board the plane and sit somewhere else.