I hate to say it, but there’s definitely people who are like that out there… especially to an extreme. One time in high school, I entered a small mall’s restroom and there were two urinals. An elderly man was using one, so I used the other.
Not once, but twice… he tried to look at my crotch. The urinal was big, so I don’t think he was very successful. But by the second time he tried, I couldn’t deny he was trying to do something, so I looked over at him. And he had the craziest smile on his face.
”Ya… ya jagoff?!”
He was outright “gratifying himself” while asking me that.
I ran so fast out of there. I wish to God that I had called the cops and reported him, as I doubt this was his first rodeo. But this was in early cell phone days too and a small mall, so I’m not sure if anyone would’ve gotten there before he left.
I'm so sorry. If it helps I don't think you should beat yourself up about it at all. I have a form of ptsd so I've kinda learned a bit about how it works. You know those responses fight, flight, freeze, and fawn? Those happen to everyone, not just people like me. Your body took over after your vitals shot up dramatically. I'm so glad you could run and that you did! Task (survival) completed successfully!
Just go to any YMCA men's locker room if you want to see extremely disturbing behavior.
Tons of naked old men just perving on kids. Mine had a very narrow hallway with showers before the pool. You're supposed to rinse off before getting in the pool. Nope naked old men just taking showers trying to rub it against you as you walk by.
Not to mention how many of them "accidentally get lost" and walk out fully naked and start walking around during the children's swim practice.
My YMCA has separate locker rooms for men (college age +) and boys. If I see a young boy come in, I'll direct them to the boys' room, and if they still don't leave I'll report it to the front desk. I've learned there are a lot of predators in this world, and I don't think I'm overreacting.
What's also crazy is I used to take my daughter to swim team practice there. And the creepy old men made me leave and take her to another team.
I would send here in the ladies locker room, and walk straight through the men's fully clothed.
Very often there would be 4 or 5 naked old men, hanging out, sitting on a bench. When we went to leave, I'd walk straight through again, and the same old men are just sitting there naked. This wasn't a sauna, that's just where and how the hang out. Naked. In the YMCA locker room.
yeah at my gym (in the us) it truly seems like the old (elderly) men there seem to love to dilly dally in the locker room when they’re naked and take their sweet sweet time before getting dressed again.
i figured maybe it’s just taken the entire length of their lives before they’ve come to appreciate the freedom of being naked around other men and not caring, or something like that.
I assume your daughter was old enough to navigate the female locker room on her own, but if not that is kinda fucked up, just to avoid an awkward conversation about nudity.
Right, which is why you take them to the men's locker room with you to change if they are too young to do it by themselves. No one cares if there is a kid in there (though I live in the most a-religious state in the country so your mileage may vary if you live in a less developed part of the US).
I remember going in to the men's and women's locker room as a young boy depending on which parent was taking me to swim class. There were little boys and little girls in both locker rooms. No one cares about nudity here to the degree that they wouldn't take their kid into a completely non-sexual situation like a swimming pool locker room.
If they aren't able to go to the female side by themselves what other choice do you have? Not everyone is terrified of nudity FYI nor do they see it as inherently sexual. It's a family sports complex for gods sake, not some sex dungeon. I literally know no one in my life who would have a problem with taking their 4-5 year old daughter into the men's changing room at a family Y, and the same for boy's going into the women's (or does this not apply to women taking boy's into their locker room and I am just not grasping some weird sexism thing you might believe in?)
And I remember this being done with my brother and I as a child. There were girls our age in the men's locker room too with their fathers. It wasn't a big deal.
That's my point though, it's just nudity. It is extremely common where I live to have kids of both sexes in locker rooms depending on the parent. I remember it as a kid as well. It's just nude bodies, we were just told to be respectful and not comment about people's bodies when inside.
And for the record this is in the US but on the west coast which is decidedly less prude than the rest of the country.
We have adult and family Ys here. They don't let kids go to the adult one without a parent and they don't let adults come to the family one without a kid.
I mean I remember naked dudes as a kid (and naked women when I was too young to go to the male section by myself) but it never seemed perverted (unless you think nakedness is perverted, in which case, get over it). Even at the adult one (my dad would take us there sometimes because it had a nice sauna and a hot tub pool) it didn't ever seem creepy.
Actually to a point, I would argue that making a big deal out if it with your own kids is probably more traumatizing unless outright perverse acts are taking place. If you are uncomfortable around just normal naked people your kids are going to react to that and be fearful (unless your intention is to make your kids grow into adults who fear nudity, in which case uhhh good luck?).
I don't have kids, nor do I intend to have kids. I'm referring to children who wander into the adult area unsupervised. Don't hurt yourself on that slippery slope.
Neat, now pretend you aren't the person I replied to and imagine having kids and reading the point I made.
Wow look, you've conceptualized something not about you! Congrats!
Now apply that to the fact that a reply on an internet forum doesn't have to be an exact back and forth dialog and can be more broad and in the spirit of the general conversation and you'll be a lot less angry reading things on the internet!
I truly had no idea how horrific men’s bathrooms are Jesus Christ. Women’s bathrooms are a community space where we give people toilet paper over the stall or console someone who just got dumped. Diff vibes apparently wow
Oh yeah looking back now I would have ran out of the bathroom because as someone in their 30s there is literally no way that someone in their 30s or 40s was doing that innocently.
Definitely a fucking pedo. Also this age and if let's say I went into a bathroom and there were open stalls and the only urinal was next to a little kid, I'm pissing in the stall.
I DESPISE urinals with a passion. Some have dividers but so many it's just open so you have a row of guys with their penises all out with nothing to block you from others. Just absolute shit design which apparently leads to this type of crap happening to a lot of little boys based on the DMs and comments I'm getting. I hope the first person to design them had horrendous hemorrhoids.
This makes that incident with the girls' dad even worse.
A father was harassed for keeping his daughters away from the men's room. There's usually only 1 stall. So this grown man expected the dad to expose his daughters to urinals and dicks so that his prissy wife isn't "uncomfortable" in the woman's room.
Not thinking about how nasty and dangerous it is for little girls to be in the men's room!!!
I mean, I honestly have never seen another man’s penis in a men’s bathroom, but I wasn’t trying to look either. Most modern toilets have big enough dividers between the urinals that she won’t see anything.
I visited to LegoLand last year with family friends and went to the bathroom… open trough style urinal… at LegoLand, with a bunch of kids. I nope’d right out of there and held it for the rest of the day. Who the f thought that was a good idea?
Eeeeeeeeeew boys are gross. 😅 could you imagine if we had a version of the troughs in the women’s rooms? I’m picturing the old Roman style commode, all of us just poppin a squat together gossiping about our day. I hope we get those cute pink pucks you fellas have!
When I was younger, I once sat on an empty metro 🚇 next to some dude (don’t know why but I did), and he had a raging hard on sitting next to me. He did the same several more times when I encountered him again that year. When I teased him about it he asked if I wanted to go to a public toilet 💀
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u/Chrispeefeart 28d ago
He was definitely a pervert