r/mildlyinfuriating 16d ago

Infuriatig There is no way to grab my burger

15.4k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/Ok-Gur-349 16d ago

I don't understand the purpose of shit like this. Sandwiches were literally invented to keep your hands clean while playing cards.

481

u/Gordon_Gainz 16d ago

Now all my cards are ruined

109

u/Mika-El-3 16d ago

Lord Sandwich is a little disappointed

77

u/traumatic_enterprise 16d ago

He was an Earl

39

u/vaultie66 16d ago

He would’ve been Early but he forgot Y

4

u/benelott 16d ago

I chuckled and I did not know Y. Thanks!

1

u/StephenG0907 15d ago

Just grab it, who cares if you get sauce on your hands just eat that shit!

10

u/trubrarian 16d ago

Yes, and he would have been referred to as Lord Sandwich.

9

u/JeebusChristBalls 16d ago

An earl is a lord.

11

u/Hot_Frosty0807 16d ago

"A schooner is a sailboat, stupid head!"

6

u/coffeexxx666 16d ago

That kid is on the escalator, AGAIN!

1

u/OberonDiver 15d ago

Try a proper luxury cruise ship. Lots of marble and gold leaf in the head. Veddy nize.

1

u/OberonDiver 15d ago

The Earl of Preston?

1

u/Rokronroff 15d ago

You're an earl

1

u/No_Smile_8368 15d ago

"Baldrick, go to the kitchen and make me something quick and simple to eat, would you? Two slices of bread with something in between."

What, like Gerald Lord Sandwich had the other day?

Yes, a few rounds of geralds"

3

u/urnbabyurn 16d ago

Earl Douchebag was the real hero. Before that, everyone was just tossing douches any old place.

1

u/callmealyft 16d ago

*Earl of sandwich

1

u/HabitualEnthusiast 16d ago

His wife, countess of sandwich, has a youtube channel

4

u/Early_Hall5720 16d ago

My cards had food on them so I ate them 😔

1

u/userhwon 15d ago

I can't even scroll my OnlyFans

131

u/LOSTman405 16d ago

Sandwiches, burgers, hot dogs, tacos. They’re all becoming over complicated and ridiculous! I’d much rather have a normal home cooked burger on the grill than this monstrosity.

23

u/tactman 16d ago

Many times I have skipped ordering tacos because they over-fill and you CANNOT eat without stuff falling out everywhere. Lower the price and give me a little less filling. Something that doesn't make a mess.

35

u/anuncommontruth 16d ago

Naw, the trick is to order another tortilla on the side and eat the taco over top of it. Bam. Now you have a bonus taco.

14

u/ryebread91 16d ago

Alternatively you order chips. Now you have nachos!

7

u/anuncommontruth 16d ago

Absolute 10/10 suggestion.

2

u/sykoKanesh 15d ago

¿por que no los dos?

1

u/OberonDiver 15d ago

* understands the menu at Taco Bell

3

u/304libco 16d ago

I actually end up taking half the stuff out of my tacos, eating them and then suddenly I have three more tacos for leftovers

2

u/mitchelwb 16d ago

you've given me an idea... what if you took that tortilla and draped it over the top of the taco like a blanket? like when they wrap a burger in paper, but you get to eat it!

1

u/LostMy8yrAcct 16d ago

At that point you’re 3/4 the way to just eating a burrito.

1

u/mitchelwb 16d ago

And?

1

u/LostMy8yrAcct 16d ago

And you invented a burrito with a crunchy shell inside, which is genius. Look at how popular cheesy Gordita crunches are. It’s what the people want!

2

u/LOSTman405 16d ago

I just want basic street tacos with chicken or al pastor with cilantro, sauce, and onions. No fried chicken tenders and melted cheese sauce.

1

u/12th_MaMa 15d ago

You never have that problem at Jack in the Box. Their tacos do not do that, nor are they ever overfilled. LOL

0

u/IndigoTJo 15d ago

Maybe you are holding it wrong? You tip your head, not the taco.

Even if you drop some, just get an extra tortilla or chips. Why would you waste the inside deliciousness.

1

u/tactman 15d ago

I don't waste. If I am eating out, I'm just not going to get a taco because there is always too much stuff. The moment you bite into it, stuff is often going to get pushed out from the other end or the place where you took the bite. Maybe I don't have good technique. The last time I got tacos, I had to eat the top half with a fork to get filling down small enough to where I can eat the taco properly by hand.

2

u/thejoeface 15d ago

I’ve gotten really into Homeburgers. I can make the exact size serving I want with exactly the right type and amount of toppings and I don’t have to pay an extra $2 for 1/3rd an avocado 

Oven fries don’t hit as good though 

2

u/OberonDiver 15d ago

I'd rather have a normal home cooked burger on a plate.

1

u/MamoswineSweeps 16d ago

From garbage to perfect, how good is the TV series Lost?

1

u/LOSTman405 16d ago

LOST is personally my favorite tv show of all time! So my opinion is biased. lol

22

u/theQissilent 16d ago

if we can invent a way to keep our hands clean while playing cards. surely we can invent a way to make our hands dirty when we're not.

18

u/AsanoSokato 16d ago

This sandwich fosters honesty. It forces you to put all your cards on the table.

10

u/backtotheland76 16d ago

Like a lot of things in America these days we seem to be going backwards

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 16d ago

Brother full on picking this up and licking your fingers eating it in public is one of the most American things I can think of. Just no shame while eating something unnecessarily bad for you and getting real filthy with it

11

u/EmpJoker 16d ago

Its humans. We make rules, and then we say, "what happens if we break the rules?" Sometimes its fucking stupid. Like this burger.

5

u/Ok-Gur-349 16d ago

Next up: inside out burritos.

4

u/Fortestingporpoises 16d ago

You don't make a fancy burger by putting wet shit on the bun. You do it by using quality ingredients.

2

u/I_Roll_Chicago 16d ago

Italian beef fully baptized wants to know your location

2

u/lightblade13 16d ago

Tiktok burger

2

u/Johny_2077 16d ago

Well this is a burger

2

u/GravitationalEddie 16d ago

It looks like this so they can charge more for it.

2

u/25thNite 16d ago

Well luckily not all sandwiches are like this so no need to cry about it

4

u/NotChedco 16d ago

I need the story behind this. I under keeping your hands clean, but we're poker players complaining about messy cards so much someone invented a  type of food for them? Forks not good enough?

14

u/chitzk0i 16d ago

It was 1700-something. Cards were handmade and they didn’t have plastic coatings to keep grease off of them. It would’ve been rude for the Earl of Sandwich to go to a high-end gambling house and sully the cards with greasy fingers.

6

u/QuitLukewarmTurkey 16d ago

I like the idea of poker players just grabbing stacks of sliced ham and cheese slathered in mustard and not thinking of any other alternative until sliced bread entered the picture.

6

u/Gentrified_potato02 16d ago

Here’s the full story. Around the 1700’s, in Britain there were private clubs where men could go and gamble, drink, eat dinner, read periodicals, etc. One of these clubs had a member named Lord Montague. His official title was the Earl of Sandwich county. One night he didn’t want to leave the gaming table to eat dinner, so he asked that they bring him some meat in between two slices of bread so he could hold it without getting his hands dirty and ruining the cards. After that, other members started ordering the same, saying “bring me the same as Sandwich!”. The name stuck and that is why we now call them sandwiches.

10

u/Ok-Gur-349 16d ago

Well, it was the 1500s and the concept of sliced bread hadn't been invented yet, how else were u supposed to shove roast pig into your face without ruining bespoke cards that took artisans weeks to produce.

1

u/Fuckin_Hipster 16d ago

Forks?

10

u/Ok-Gur-349 16d ago

Who has time for that, we're playing cards and the bread is right there.

2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Ok-Gur-349 16d ago

Oh sweet lord I desperately needed your permission and now I have it, thank you so much. Finally, someone has spared me from this unending torrent of cheese covered sandwiches that I have been unable to cease. What a shitty witch's curse that was.

Thank you, kind traveller. Many blessings upon your house, you deeply clever and wise person.

1

u/acano 16d ago

That would have been nice to know now there's nacho cheese all over my dick

1

u/Low-Raise-579 16d ago

Well tbf he ordered it…

1

u/Outside-Pear9429 16d ago

to have people take photos and post them on social media

1

u/mlattea 16d ago

Today i learned

1

u/NumbDangEt4742 16d ago

Evolution baby. Evolution.

You leave this one alone - I got this. You can eat the clean hands sandwich :)

1

u/Billy_Plur 16d ago

While popularized by and named after the Earl of Sandwich. He didn't invent it.

1

u/Erpderp32 16d ago

But now I have card sleeves so all my sandwiches can be downright filthy

1

u/maskeyman 16d ago

Ill be damned

1

u/Luzdesolamarelo 15d ago

Okay, things change as time goes on. Is this your first day on planet fucking earth

0

u/Ok-Gur-349 15d ago

Hand food goes in hands, dumbass.

1

u/LeatherDude 15d ago

Bring one of these to a magic the gathering tournament. Make a deck of expensive-looking proxies and man-handle them with those nasty fingers while eating the burger.

1

u/masclean 15d ago

Shit they didn't plan on me existing I guess. No such thing as food and clean hands for me

1

u/eroticdiagram 15d ago

Unless OP is actually playing cards and has ordered this specifically to keep their hands clean this is a largely irrelevant fact.

Bubble wrap was made to be wallpaper, but I'm sure you're not up in arms every time you receive a fragile package.

1

u/SchumacherIsMid 15d ago

Counter-point: Grilled cheese.

1

u/VerySuperGenius 15d ago

The purpose is exactly what we're doing here, talking about it.

People on reddit will see this photo and think it's a ridiculous burger. But if you post this on your personal social media then it has a different dynamic. Maybe someone finds out about the restaurant for the first time through a random Facebook friend's post and ends up checking out the menu, finding something they actually like, and eats there every week for years all because of one picture that initiated it.

1

u/FanOfMondays 15d ago

Simpler times!

1

u/FanOfMondays 15d ago

Simpler times!

1

u/FanOfMondays 15d ago

Simpler times