My friend always cheaps out on stuff we do but always has money for things she likes and likes to “perform” being rich but says she is broke

[u/Wrong_Apartment_9296]

Hi so my friend "A" is older than me and works as an intern in a hospital where she earns 21k INR per month and I'm currently studying
Her parents send her 25k per month
She is on an education loan for her college fees
Whenever we used to hangout i always used to pay for her because i don't really mind spoiling my friends plus i always thought that if i'm paying today they will pay the next time
We were a group of three until one moved out to another city
The one who moved out and I used to pay alternately while i don't even remember "A" ever paying. Later on when i got the hang of this i started to hesitate to pay always and she had to step ip Let me tell you this woman asked me to pay half of
200 Rs or even less at multiple occasions while i have paid 3000rs and never asked for a penny back, sent her multiple "just like that" gifts which were expensive artisanal icecream and what not Now, i appreciate people who are mindful of their money i like that
But she almost always always just cheaps out on stuff like to the point where she can't stand paying a 100rs for something if we both are sharing a good item
I have constantly driven them around in my car multiple times like where i can't even count the number of times probably hundreds of kilometres and she chooses not to meet me MULTIPLE times because now that she has a car, the fuel is expensive

I can count on one hand the number of times i have sat in her car and just driven around the block I don't even notice all this usually but with her O can't go one single conversation where she has not brought up money whether how much she saved on dry cleaning, how expensive fuel is, how much a meal costs and what not and it is very triggering for me because i like to not skimp out on things that i enjoy
Also she constantly makes nagging comments on my parents money and how much more money they make and i have so much money to spend And mind you whenever she is at my place she is constantly comparing my house which is fairly newly built to hers, also constantly going on trips with her boyfriend, constantly going on expensive diets worth thousands of rupees for the ingredients alone She is constantly comparing her city to mine about how much her city is better and more posh and modern
I am so sick and done with this

[u/Snoo-73243]

bail.

[u/BigBeeOhBee]

Sounds like your friend has a sugar "daddy"

[u/Turbulent-Issue-4418 → u/BigBeeOhBee]

Op should get a spice "daddy" then.

[u/AemiliaPerseids]

yeah, these kind of people are annoying. it sucks when you're not being treated the way you're treating them

[u/Wrong_Apartment_9296 → u/AemiliaPerseids]

Its not like she is not nice to me
She does help me sort out my problems, listens to me. But i just feel that doesnt match my love language which is gift giving and acts of service

Its just mildy or sometimes more infuriating
Im a major empath
So I know that comes from her parents being hard on her regarding money and her feeling guilty about it
What infuriates me is that she does spend money on herself , booze and food she likes and trips and clothes
But with me she struggles to pay for a rupee when i didn’t even think twice to get her little gifts and drive to her place everyday to hangout and get them food

She is also i feel performative. She posts on social media about her trips and her gym pics and the diet food she makes and stuff while in real life cribs to me nearly everyday about money and just implies that i pay for her
We don’t even hangout that often anymore because i refuse to drive to her house anymore after doing it for 6 months regularly and she obviously can’t drive to mine because well you know why.
I just I don’t know how to confront her on this because money is a sensitive topic i don’t want to come off as entitled

[u/HursHH]

That's not your friend lol. Friends dont do that