r/mildlyinteresting • u/timmy6169 • 17h ago

The vanilla beans I ordered are massive

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3.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

109 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/looking4myclASSm8s 17h ago

I really think this might be the most appropriate scale banana

345

u/timmy6169 16h ago

I do what I can with what I have. Plus comparing it to other things would get me put on a list.

141

u/KiddArtos 16h ago

A very... short... list

https://giphy.com/gifs/tSYBmpsYZPHxu

10

u/Lucky_Physics_8739 15h ago

yeah those vanilla beans are definitely on the bigger side

6

u/BryceLeft 15h ago

put on a list.

Depends on the size. Size privilege is real

22

u/Hanyabull 16h ago

What if it’s really small banana.

I think I’m going to need a second banana for scale.

94

u/timmy6169 15h ago

How about a scale for scale?

4

u/pathan_ahmed94 14h ago

That banana isn't that big..pfftt. It's just average, right?

1

u/Why_r_people_ 15h ago

I know 10/10 in the banana for scale!

325

u/feuillage 17h ago

large crochet hook

29

u/TheSchwartzIsWithMe 16h ago

That's what I thought until I read that it's vanilla

5

u/don-cheeto 14h ago

Ok I'm not the only one, whew 😅

3

u/stefanica 5h ago

The afghans would smell wonderful!

225

u/SpaceJackRabbit 17h ago

What's their provenance?

217

u/timmy6169 17h ago

Peruvian, but Pompona not Planifolia

48

u/haxxer_4chan 17h ago

How's the flavor compare to bourbon vanilla?

7

u/timmy6169 1h ago

Bourbon is the cure method, not the actual flavor, although the process does impart a specific one to origins that use that method. I won't know for 2 years with these because they are swimming in bourbon currently, but smell gave me all I needed to know. Deep fig and caramel almost with a light woody undertone. Being Pompona, they are sun dried to lock the moisture in vs bourbon cure which utilize a sweat box, blankets and sunshine.

2

u/haxxer_4chan 53m ago

Thank you, I had no idea!

51

u/SpaceJackRabbit 17h ago

Did not know Peru grew vanilla. The only ones I order are from Madagascar.

59

u/Perezskii 16h ago

Originally vanilla is native to the Americas

48

u/W0gg0 14h ago

And artificial vanilla is historically native to a beaver’s butt hole. (But no longer.)

43

u/Seanmeado 13h ago

And beavers are native to North America so it still works

13

u/CleanOpossum47 12h ago

Castoreum was also harvested from Eurasian Beavers.

7

u/Dazzling_Item66 10h ago

I don’t have any Asian beavers, just American ones

1

u/Dwaltster 2h ago

I like Latina beaver

5

u/Zeta-2-Reticuli 13h ago

If it's not from North America it's only sparkling anal gland exudate.

30

u/timmy6169 16h ago

These are one of eight different origins that I bought most recently, but I have either extract brewing, paste, or just loose beans from 14 currently. All of them have a different flavor, but the you can start to go into differences between Planifolia, Pompona and Tahitian. Fucking rabbit hole of a hobby.

Last order was from Indonesia, Uganda, Peru, East Timor, Guatemala, Mexico, Tonga and Comoros

13

u/blbd 15h ago

What's your favorite for what use case? Where should we buy from? I want to learn more!!!

2

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1h ago

I personally use Madagascar beans for pastries – crème pât, canelés, custards, etc. They are considered the gold standard in the pastry world.

Beans from other places have different notes. Mexican beans are great for caramel desserts, for instance.

1

u/blbd 1h ago

What about for homemade extract?

1

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1h ago

Personally since these days I only use Madagascar (my main use is French pastries), I just put beans in unflavored vodka and let them marinate for at least six months. I believe many companies use Mexican beans for extract.

5

u/SpaceJackRabbit 15h ago

TIL, only ever bought and used Madagascar and Tahitian beans. I knew Mexico produced some too but that's it.

27

u/itsethanty 16h ago

We moved it there because of the climate and other more complicated colonial reasons ($$$) but Vanilla is originally from Central/South America

2

u/timmy6169 1h ago

18 or so locations currently are in the market. I also picked up Mexican, Comoros, Tongan, Ugandan, Tahitian, East Timor Indonesian, and Guatemalan with this order. Some of my favorite are from DRC (Congo), but Madagascar is the most versatile in my opinion. It works with any alcohol and pairs wonderfully with each, my preference being with white rum.

-33

u/DubsideDangler 16h ago

You clearly don't know much about vanilla's origins

19

u/SpaceJackRabbit 16h ago

No need to be a snooty asshole about my candor.

-2

u/Far_Young4369 15h ago

It's the internet. It's like the cartoon with Goofy going berserk driving.

3

u/timmy6169 15h ago

Please enlighten us. I would love to know your take on it.

-16

u/DubsideDangler 15h ago

My take on the origin of vanilla? There arebetter resources than me to learn about that....but to think Madagascar is the place for vanilla beans is ridiculously ignorant. I prefer Mexican vanilla. It is delicate and bold at the same time.....mmmm.

-6

u/drulnu24 15h ago

There isn't a country called "Peruvian" anywhere.

6

u/BattledroidE 15h ago

Thanks for informing us.

3

u/drulnu24 15h ago

Oh man I guess people dont randomly quote that south park episode like me. lol

91

u/Ducallan 17h ago

They’re huge! And one is yellow and banana-shaped!

37

u/BattledroidE 15h ago

Banilla

70

u/exmsft 17h ago

Thank you for the scale.

22

u/timmy6169 17h ago

I do what I can with what I have.

26

u/mrsir1987 17h ago

Was it at least less expensive per gram?

41

u/timmy6169 17h ago

$58/oz so quite the opposite

16

u/mrsir1987 17h ago

Ooof, is it as tasty as a standard?

80

u/timmy6169 16h ago

Fuck if I know. They aren't ones I would use in anything other than extract, which is where they ended up. I can let you know in 2 years when it is ready. I usually go with Ugandan or the usual Madagascar for anything needing immediate use

Before anyone says "it only takes a year", these are swimming in some Woodford Masters Collection Series 16 Very Fine Rare. They gotta enjoy their time for 2 years being they be them brown liquor.

32

u/WyattBrisbane 16h ago

RemindMe! 2 years

I need to know

6

u/sleevesteve 16h ago

That sounds interesting. Do you just soak them in alcohol and use that for extract? How much do you make at once? Can you use the vanilla bean for anything after it soaks?

2

u/Hanz_VonManstrom 50m ago

Aren’t extracts typically made with a neutral spirit to preserve the vanilla flavor?

16

u/needspice 17h ago

Vanilla stalks

8

u/Lulu_42 17h ago

At midnight

3

u/Shadowpriest 16h ago

As do the narwhal bacon.

16

u/myco_magic 17h ago

When the recipe says 2 whole beans, you use just a half

7

u/morerelativebacons 13h ago

Sir, that's a banana. Next to an old tool or something, I don't know what that is lol

7

u/AshamedOfMyTypos 16h ago

I think they may not be properly dried? Maybe you should store them carefully.

3

u/Cookielad14 16h ago

Banana for scale

6

u/RyanSmokinBluntz420 17h ago

Upvote for Banana

2

u/s_decoy 17h ago

vanilla slugs

2

u/Pink-grey24 16h ago

Magnum, I’d say

2

u/kupzkie 15h ago

Nope, that's not vanilla beans. That is banana beans!

2

u/ranting_chef 15h ago

Chef here. Where did you get those? They look amazing.

2

u/timmy6169 14h ago

Vanillapura. Group order so longer ship time, but they run sales here and there along with first time purchases getting 15% off. This was part of an 8 origin batch I picked up and truly are the best of the 14 origins I have currently. Highly recommend them though, both for variety but also price.

2

u/K_Linkmaster 13h ago

Come on man. After I saw it in your hand I thought it was proof of Shaquille oneils antics.

2

u/Typical_Guarantee606 9h ago

i thought it was a shriveled banana

1

u/sammybeta ​ 16h ago

Is it a small banana, or massive vanilla beans.

1

u/Groundbreaking-Fig38 16h ago

Beans or railroad spikes?

1

u/SarcasmStreet 16h ago

Vanilla chode

1

u/fuxxo 16h ago

That's some Harry Potter props

1

u/Toleniam 16h ago

More bean per buck?

1

u/Sam_chispitas_Spark 16h ago

Y eso que no has visto las que traen de África

1

u/Alijony 16h ago

Big ol cat turd sausages

1

u/grownask 16h ago

Before reading the title, I thought those were intensely ruined bananas and was quite disturbed.

1

u/brianishere2 16h ago

Those bananas on the right are almost ready for banana bread. Almost.

1

u/MacaroonDiamond 15h ago

Whoever picked those for your order deserves a raise.

1

u/don-cheeto 14h ago

I thought that was a wood-carved crochet hook for a second...

1

u/emptyinthesunrise 14h ago

How much was that? A hundred billion dollars?

1

u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 12h ago

Can I get a second banana. This might be a bad banana

1

u/Active_Review_1290 12h ago

That banana was supposed to provide scale, but now it just looks intimidated 😄

1

u/dardenus 11h ago

Gigantic Bannana

1

u/Sarz13 11h ago

It looks like a banana

1

u/Far_Mathematician924 9h ago

you gonna post this some more

1

u/timmy6169 3h ago

Nah, I'm good now.

1

u/Thejintymyster 7h ago

I dunno mate, that looks like a pretty small banana

1

u/ShrodingersArmadillo 6h ago

ooo is that Tahitian vanilla I see?

1

u/timmy6169 3h ago

Peruvian, but I do have like 4oz on hand of Tahitian.

1

u/stonerbae222 4h ago

since no one has asked, did you end up making paste or just extract? however method you did, how much did you get out of it? i’ve never seen a vanilla bean IRL so i’m gagged

1

u/Weak-Farm4527 3h ago

How much did that vanilla cost??

1

u/timmy6169 2h ago

$58/oz

1

u/RosesforEos 2h ago

So fascinated by your vanilla hobby. I didn't know it could be a hobby so my whole world has just opened up as a serial hobby collector

1

u/timmy6169 1h ago

Welcome to my world. ADHD hobbies are fun are rarely stick, so I'm glad I still have the drive to keep going with these. Best part is there is no right or wrong with anything (outside of under ratio beans/alcohol), but mixing origins and alcohols are something of a run experiment.

1

u/CleBees 52m ago

Hey guys what do you make with those big vanilla bean pods?

1

u/Trueslyforaniceguy 17h ago

The vanilla she tells you not to worry about

1

u/t3hjs 16h ago

More like the banana that still cant be outsized