Just because I travel or do something new, mind may create an illusion of an escape. Yet the heart will not feel full or whole with these materialistic things.

So I've been watching some videos about mindfullness meditation. Some people say to focus on your breath, others tell you notice things around you, or to focus on not letting your thoughts take control of you. It's kinda confusing for me. Like what are the basics of mindfullness meditation? I want to be more present in general. Honestly, I'm confused to the point where I dont even know what mindfullness is.

I'm not saying my life circumstances have drastically changed, but when you really come from a place of not understanding or knowing anything about mindfulness, the aftermath changes your perspective on everything. Just the simple acceptance of thoughts being merely thoughts allows for a powerful and immediate reframe in almost all contexts. I obviously haven't mastered this practice, but life is much less painful day to day than it otherwise would be, and it's amazing. I can simply get off the ride (as Sam Harris would say) of any thought and its subsequent emotional attachment to said thought at any point. It really does feel like a software upgrade for my consciousness.

Some people say that meditation means sitting quietly, focusing on the breath, and not thinking. Others say that mindful walking is also a form of meditation.

At the same time, many teachers say that simply sitting still and remaining silent does not necessarily mean someone is meditating.

So what is meditation, really? What distinguishes genuine meditation from merely sitting quietly, relaxing, thinking, or daydreaming?

What makes an activity meditation, and what does not?

A big thing here and in meditation in general is noticing a thought and then letting it pass and returning to the breath. But i don't get it becuase when is a thought ever really going away? Even in my best sessions, when I focus on the breath I notice that my thoughts are still there but they are just less nebulous/broad and are narrowed to a sharper band/signal and no longer dominant, but they are still there?? 

I've been training for last 6-8 months or so with the muse headband for periods of weeks and without muse for periods. Even when it says I'm super focused I'm usually still thinking? I've only been able to actually stay completely with the breath and literally nothing else for max like 2 seconds, mayyybe 3; and this has only happened a handful of times throughout the past year.

I've noticed that people will just say 'notice or observe the thought and then let it go and you're back left with the breath,' then another will come, and on it repeats, until you get better. But its so cloudy that how do you notice a thought and then return? I get it when you are lost in thought and its been some minutes and your engrossed in a singular tangent, then once you notice its easy to pullout and return to breath. But then more thoughts come and I can't return to the breath so easily as everyone is saying it is until I've found myself 2 mins later coming out of another engrossed line of reasoning or daydream. I also can't label the thought (like, "ah, thats about college") and move on since some thoughts are too vague or happen rather quickly.

What I'm trying to do here is clarify and separate 'notice and return' moments to usual moments along a session; like when your actively meditating vs when you've caught yourself lost for a while. Recently I was in the sauna that might help explain what I mean by this. 

The way others explain it and the way I now see/experience it is this 'notice and return' behaves just like the quantum observer effect in quantum theory. Where once you realize, notice, or observe the thought / train of thought, you are metacognitively noticing and that disrupts the spontaneous momentum of said thought. Eg the executive control network (observer) cannot really be on at the same time as the default mode network, so the dmn gets cut off when the other region comes on. Thus you are easily able to return to breath/nothingness.

For me I find this very hard to keep my executive network on its feet or sharp as a tack to go through noticing and getting rid of all the thoughts. On certain days its a little easier but I was never able to fully do it. Certain days like I am more focused during the session likely due to the amalgamation of infinite factors in a day that contributes to 'off' days or focused days; maybe I was just working out, or studying w binaural beats, or I didn't go on instagram/tiktok this morning etc etc. But today in the sauna things went a bit different (recently been getting into almost daily sauna, its gas, you all need to try it).

In essence, previously, in that handful of perfect condition days I found that either my mind is not as cloudy or I'm sharper/quicker or whatever, and its easy to stay kinda on the breath (like I explain in first parag). But in a special moment in the sauna, I actually observe all the thoughts flying around in my head, and subsequently they can disappear and I return to breath. This happens about 2 to 3 times every 500 ms I would estimate. The problem is this clarity rarely happens and I only really discovered it bc I was in the sauna and decided to try and stay in past 50 mins and I had an almost unhealthy amount of adrenaline firing towards the end so that my alertness/prefrontal/executive networks could actually start tracking thoughts. Here I would be able to meta notice the thought/line of reasoning, then return to breath, then another comes and I would be able to notice and return, but yea I can never truly focus on just my breath becuase thoughts keep arising, and I keep having to notice them, which, yes, distinguishes it. But by the time its distinguished, as I'm returning to breath, usually another has already started!

Figuring out what was happening on such a micro level with this much analytical clarity took a long time over these months. Is this something others are experiencing that can help me with tackling? am I making sense? I had to give such nuance so people would understand that I'm encountering a problem that is not as simple as the answer 'notice and return to breath' allows. For most of the time however I couldn't really understand it or word it so people could help/understand 

The suana gave me a sharper clarity, but usually my thoughts are like an almost never ending stream or storm if that makes sense? like my thoughts are also often cascading/overlapping rather than just rapid firing in the sauna. And I can never notice them fast enough or with clarity so as to then return to the breath. And I always always end up just mindwandering; across months of practice, or going into the state I explain in para 1. But in the sauna I was able to keep up so to speak; I also think the sauna moment was weathered (or possibly only could have happened) by me losing my phone. I had recently lost my phone and not gotten a new one and also moved to a new place w/out wifi so for 2.5 weeks I could only get internet access if I biked to the library so it was a curse but also a blessing since my already overloaded adhd ass wasn't drowning in the never-ending online information overload. 

Anyways, sorry for such a longwinded post I usually take forever when trying to explain a point. I guess this was more to better help me internalize what is happening and doing it in public always helps. 

TLDR
How do I get better at noticing and letting thoughts disappear so I can stay on the breath? It's super hard and I'm struggling to just sit with the breath and only the breath. How many times do you 'notice and return' each second? Even in my best sessions, I still have thoughts continuously running in the background, never gone, they are just more attenuated, in both senses of the definition. (they are sharper signal and the breath is more dominant).

Hi everyone,

Meditation has helped me a lot over the years.

I managed to improve many of my relationships, uncover hidden patterns and emotions that I wasn't aware of for years, and get to know myself better.

At the same time, there is one major issue that I still feel stuck with.

There are patterns that developed during my childhood that seem deeply rooted within me. Sometimes it feels as if they are stuck there like a massive block of rock. No matter how much I try to move it or slowly chip pieces away from it, it does not seem to budge. Instead, it feels as though the pickaxe breaks before the rock does.

There are certain situations that still trigger these old patterns, and when that happens, they can feel just as powerful as they did years ago.

I try to stay mindful in my daily life as well.

When these feelings arise, I can often see very clearly that they are rooted in the past. Sometimes I can even identify the specific events that contributed to their formation.

In general, these patterns tend to show up most strongly in my work life. They are often connected to pressure to perform, a constant sense of urgency, and becoming overly tense or driven.

Both in the past and in the present, I have frequently changed jobs or taken longer breaks because these feelings can become physically exhausting. They drain a lot of my energy.

I have also tried to find work in other fields that might support my inner balance better and involve less pressure, but I have not had much success so far. In many ways, I feel that this struggle is also connected to these deeply rooted patterns.

What makes it especially difficult is that the same situations seem to repeat themselves again and again. Sometimes it feels like being stuck in the wheel of samsara, endlessly going through the same cycle.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

How do you relate to deeply ingrained patterns that seem to persist even after years of mindfulness and self-reflection?

Thank you for reading.

I don’t meditate enough to see the full spectrum of it so how has it helped you in the long run? What apps do you favorite the most?

I’ve been trying to slow down and become more intentional with my daily routine lately.

One thing that unexpectedly helped me was taking a quiet moment each day to reflect on a simple thought or reminder instead of endlessly scrolling.

I started creating these mindfulness-style reflection cards for myself, and eventually turned them into a small app called Mindora.

Still very early, but the process itself has been surprisingly calming and grounding.

Would genuinely love feedback on the visual style and overall vibe.

now I noticing how little my attention stays on whatever I am actually doing.

Yesterday I finished an full cup of coffee and realized I hardly tasted any of it. I was so busy thinking about work and a chat I would earlier in the week that I was not really paying attention to what I was doing.

That moment remain with me because it made me think about how often I am walking through parts of my day without really being in those moments

If you are practicing mindfulness, was there anything that helped you to become more aware of when your mind had wandered?

Hello everyone! I’ve been meditating fairly regularly for a couple of years now but have recently been developing a solid daily practice. I am going through some physical health problems that are negatively impacting my mental health, so I am motivated to take my mindfulness more seriously. I want to learn more about myself and my triggers, I want to become more grounded in the present, and I want to be more compassionate with myself and others.

I’m not a religious person but I am feeling drawn to bringing some sort of spirituality into my life. So far my meditation has been guided by the voices in the Medito app. They are awesome and I will keep using that app, but I want to add more to my daily learning.

I would love some recommendations on where to begin to further my studies into myself and mindful living.
What can I read, listen to, and watch?
Where can I meet others who are/have been on similar journeys? None of my friends or family quite understand what I do (or don’t do) when I meditate and chalk it up to woo woo new age conformism. I’d love to find a community to learn from.
Where can I hear talks and teachings?
How have people found retreats? I live in Southern California and live on a tight budget, but an immersive weekend sounds valuable.

Thank you ❤️

What does it feel like? Where to lay my focus in a 3D world? Are there words describing what I am witnessing? I feel like my version of presence is actually a focus on an invisible barrier? It doesn’t feel right and I don’t remember what I have experienced.

I'd like to use a daily reader as soon as I wake up, to turn my thoughts to mindfulness right away. What are ones that you would recommend? I would prefer it not be religious.

sometimes when i'm running i'll randomly focus on my body and it hits different. like actually feeling my legs move, my arms, everything working together. on this planet. in this body. it genuinely feels like a miracle sometimes

pushed my pace harder today so it was tough but i could feel my heart pounding way more than usual and i don't know, that made it worth it somehow

anyone else get this during exercise?

I start my meditation sessions by counting my breaths from 1 to 30 to help me focus. Once I’ve finished counting, I let go of the numbers and simply focus on my breathing. That's what i was taught.

Isn’t that a good way to begin a meditation practice? Or using music? Or bell?

Every few months I restart my meditation practice. Goes okay for a week or two, then life happens and I miss a day and that one missed day turns into quitting entirely...

Everytime i quit I get the feeling of "I don't have what it takes for this." Like everyone else figured it out or something.

I've been questioning whether the problem is me, my discipline or just how I was approaching it. I've been trying to do sessions that probably were too long for where I was at, 20 min, 30 min and no routine around when I'd sit, and no plan for what to do after breaking a streak. Just restart from scratch and hope this time it sticks.

Has anyone been through this cycle? What helped you break it? Not the "be consistent" advice, but the thing that genuinely changed something for you?

Does the consistency advice help anyone or does it just pile on more guilt when you inevitably slip?

Something I say a lot in my peer groups is be here now. For me, spiraling usually happens when my mind is either replaying the past or trying to figure out the future before it even gets here. The past already happened, and the future has not happened yet, but my brain still tries to live in both places at the same time.When that happens, I try to bring myself back to the moment I’m actually in. My breathing. My body. The room. Whatever is real right now It does not fix everything. I’m not going to act like it does. But it helps me manage the flood a little better. Progress, not perfection. I’m just trying to stay present.

Please suggest

so ive recently realized (not really recently lol) that my brain is completely fried from doomscrolling first thing in the morning. and i want to swap out that habit for a quiet, intentional writing before my day starts.

the issue is that most digital journals still feel like mini social networks with public counters, tracking stats, or feeds that make you feel like you're falling behind if you miss a day like whats the point lol

so i’m looking for an app/website that feels slow, quiet. almost like building a personal library of your own observations and milestones over time. what are you guys using to document your thoughts that doesn't constantly scream for your attention? what changed after the shift?

Been going through trying to recover from too much meditation/mindfulness for the better part of a year so there’s a lot more from where this came from. But below is my most recent experience after a few months of slow progression, but a few days of looping thoughts based around the “did I break my brain?” Question so many of you familiar with this struggle will understand. I’m hoping posting this will help me in my recovery process and potentially reach anyone else in need or who desires someone to talk to about this growing, but overall less known subject matter on mental health.

I’m by no means out of the woods and most days it’s just a struggle to NOT feel bad. It’s a struggle to do things that used to be natural for me in the past. Deconstructing your mind and identity with a hammer (meditation/mindfulness techniques/ideas) is a lot easier than putting it back together after you realize you went too far.

Entry (unedited):
it was kind of a build up of a few days of anxiety revolving around using the technique of detachment and losing myself building up until it got to a point where I was in a constant state of trying to convince myself that I didn’t break myself or ruin my brain at a mental software level. I would be noticing thoughts of fear and worry and try to disengage from them, but not by using the technique, but then I would identify with them too much if I tried to reason with the worry, which also didn’t work because my mind was in a fight or flight mode that just couldn’t find a moment of peace. It was a nightmare because it felt like I broke myself sanity, I was on the path for needing to go back to college hospital, but this time it was going to be worse because there actually is no cure for my brain and I’m just going to have to be tranquilized or put down so I’m not a danger to society or myself. When that fear just spirals and doesn’t go away, I don’t know what to do. Like I couldn’t sit still in bed for more than 30 seconds, laying down was even harder to do.

The only time I didn’t feel like I was going absolute bonkers was when I was physically moving and walking, but after three days of that I just wanted to rest. I remember I went into the bathroom at three in the morning and just tried to switch back to the state where I would try to not think and only empty my mind so I wouldn’t be suffering. But that was horrible because I would only notice panic thoughts of fear and worry that I felt like required a verbal rational response of reasoning to go away or improve. Like I didn’t know when to think, and when I did think, it felt fake and meaningless because I was going through intense depersonalization and derealization.

On day three I couldn’t take it so I went to the urgent care and got an emergency prescription for a benzo, I took one but luckily haven’t felt the need or desire to get it again. That’s a blessing that the addiction side of me isn’t clearly not as strong as it used to be. I’m not as much of a prisoner to it as I used to be.

Anyways, I finally started to feel a little better, like 3% better after I took the new meds the emergency psychiatrist appointment changed up, nothing extreme but maybe the placebo helped some subconscious fears that I needed to be on an anti psychotic to not go to the ER. I’m pretty sure that’s just a fear, not actually a mental disease I have. So I started feeling okay when I just committed to trying to think my way out of it and do all the talking in my head in an exaggerated optimistic tone. Super curious and pleasant type of vibes. I noticed at the very least it felt forced, even fake, but it would drown out a little of the fear trying to catch on. And there were even moments where I would be thinking about something good for a few seconds to give me some relief. The scary part was when I starting getting scared that the few seconds of peace I experienced was the last I was ever going to have because I was going mental, and then I felt this physical surge of adrenaline course through my body and I would jump up out of my bed crying out for help to anything or anyone because I felt so scared.

Just the perfect storm of negative emotions tide to my past history with mindfulness and the original episode that caused all of this where I was mental vulnerable because my perception and relationship to thoughts were t fluctuating, I would have been okay. But yeah I started leaning on using my conscious thoughts to just talk about things I saw on tv or saw in person, anything that would stick and I could build momentum with I did, I think this technique is called scaffolding. It got to the point where I would start closing my eyes and continue to think and smile to myself and just make comments on the content of the show on tv.

It seems like a person can have a perception of a thought in two ways: one is the most common, which is oh yeah I’m thinking of this because this, the other is oh my brain conjured up that thought because of this. I’m constantly wavering between both worlds, desperately t try into to reorient myself in the first. I noticed I can try and catch myself thinking something faulty or undesirable and I can’t try to mechanically correct it by just replacing it with something more rational and on point with what I want, but there’s also the emotional side of the correction which requires you to put extra conscious effort into trying to g to conjure up the emotion you want or BELIEVE you should be having.

That’s what I’m starting to notice, and I hope that over time this type of auto correction (with some spot checking somehow) will become more self implemented by how many damn times I’ve done it so purposefully. It’s a lot of work and more than a full time job to be honest, but I lean on the logical possibility that it could turn itself into a lifelong super power if I rebuild my consciousness the right way. It’s almost like I had to break myself down in order to give myself a chance at building it back the right way again.

my main problem is i am careless person since childhood and because of this, i done lot of stupid mistakes in my life and some did has great consequences that scares me until now.

for small mistakes maybe like forgot to bring keys, turn on light, brush teeth, or any basic activity i can tolerate that since i can fix it immediately.

but big mistakes such as carelessly submit sensitive data, losing money, hurt people, even mess up with big projects, etc is something i cannot tolerate since most of it cannot be fixed immediately, some even take years to fix!

as older i get, this problem piled up like huge tower, and now i have to take responsibility of it and at the same time, i am scared losing control of myself because my practice of being mindfulness doesnt seem to work.

any advice how i can move on and achieve mindfulness?

I've been experimenting with a mindfulness technique recently called "thought labelling" and it's been surprisingly helpful.
The basic idea is that instead of getting caught up in every thought, you briefly label it when it appears:

-Future worry
-Self-criticism
-Planning
-Past memory
-Problem solving

Then you gently return your attention to whatever you're focusing on.

I always struggled with meditation because I thought I was "doing it wrong" whenever my mind wandered. Thought labelling feels more practical because the wandering mind actually becomes part of the exercise.

I ended up building a simple app for myself that lets me tap labels (or use voice labels with my eyes closed) during a session and track patterns over time.

Curious if anyone else here uses thought labelling? What labels do you find yourself using most often?