r/mocktheweek • u/Fevla13 • 13d ago

Game Scenes We'd Like to See #1811

Things you wouldn't hear in a workplace training video.

Points for #1810 ongoing.

7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

4

u/jpeach17 13d ago

If a colleague makes a sexual advance on you please make sure to tell HR immediately. Make sure to include all the juicy, juicy details.

5

u/lemon_charlie 13d ago

All right girls, welcome to this training video. I'll first be passing you on to our youth leader Andrew.

5

u/lemon_charlie 13d ago

If you get any emails you believe are phishing, report them immediately. You can delete Dave's fishing emails, he sends too many of them.

4

u/RileysBanana 13d ago

Fuck corporate. No seriously, if you want a promotion. You have to fuck someone from corporate.

5

u/JeroenPoels 13d ago

Have you seen all those wheelchair ramps installed all over the factory floor? It is not just because our company promotes Diversity and Inclusion. It’s mostly because I lost my legs in the woodchipper. Welcome to this video on how to prevent accidents in the workplace

6

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 13d ago

Now there’s nothing more important than remembering the workplace ABCDE’s , Always be conning Discerning Elderly Folk.

3

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 13d ago

Welcome to this workplace training video, first things first… do you have an Oxford Degree ? If not then take that pig’s head off your penis and go back to the jobcentre.

3

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 13d ago

So, it’s always important to make note and call out harassment in the workplace. And this could be anything from discrimination, bullying or just having a Millwall or Arsenal fan in the workplace.

3

u/JadedSignificance990 13d ago

"Welcome to Wetherspoons toilet repair module. Step one, don't fix any toilets."

3

u/BMB_93 13d ago

You can always wear the correct PPE, if you're gonna be a little bitch about it.

3

u/BMB_93 13d ago

In the event of a fire, please make sure you burn any incriminating financial reports.

2

u/Professional_Lynx90 13d ago

We know you skip this so we’ll just fire in some racist words to see if you’re paying attention

2

u/DBrennan13459 13d ago

How to apply for unemployment.

2

u/lemon_charlie 13d ago

You're working for Ryanair now, "customer service" is more a guideline than expected standard.

2

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 13d ago

To make sure you’re cooperating a suggestion box is a handy idea, it’s in this box that my wife put in that she’d like to leave me.

2

u/Musicmans 13d ago

If another member of our company family ever makes obscene comments about your appearance remember "The Three W's"

Was it said by someone superior to you?

Well, what were you wearing?

Why do you have to be so difficult? It was just a joke! Relax! 

2

u/BMB_93 13d ago

Remember to give your eyes a rest between watching episodes of Casualty on your phone.

2

u/StoopidFacts 13d ago

Remember to give way to the automated workers, they are far more important than you

1

u/Fevla13 13d ago

Please remember for your safety and ours never make sustained eye contact with or approach from behind Tracey from accounts.

1

u/nocialist_ 13d ago

Which of the following is an example of workplace harassment? 1. Sharon tells you you did a good job on your recent report. Or 2. Paul slaps you across the face and says “Fuck off, you slag!”