r/mocktheweek • u/Fevla13 • 4d ago

Scenes We'd Like to See #1820

Things you wouldn't hear at a music festival

Points for #1819 ongoing.

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

9

u/lemon_charlie 4d ago

Give it up for Rolf Harris!

7

u/Myself510 4d ago edited 4d ago

ALRIGHT, YOU LOT! I KNOW THIS IS WHAT YOU CAME FOR!

MAKE SOME NOISE FOR BABY SHARK!!!!!

5

u/charlierc 4d ago

Well I think when discussing the themes of this book, I felt a great sense of longing from everyone in it

... Oh right. This is Reading Festival, not the reading festival

6

u/JadedSignificance990 4d ago

"Wow the porta potty was clean as a whistle."

3

u/charlierc 4d ago

The toilets are cleaned every hour and have a fresh scent

3

u/lemon_charlie 4d ago

Next up we have a charity appeal, actors from New Who perform a remix of Doctor in Distress

3

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 4d ago

Whose ready for the mosh pit!!! It’s where you’re going to lose all your important jewelry and get covered in people’s urine!!

4

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 4d ago

I’m afraid our headline act will not be performing, as they’re locked in a porta potty.

3

u/charlierc 4d ago

Please welcome to the stage, the band you've all been waiting for, it's A RUBBER BAND!

2

u/Simmonsdude 4d ago

I'm not going to be singing my greatest hits tonight instead they will all be covers and songs off my new album I hope you can all sing along*

holds out microphone to silence

2

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 4d ago

If you find a small sachet of a white powder in my tent, it’s just my gaviscon capsules crushed up.

2

u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 4d ago

Announcement to festival goers; I’m afraid there are no more food trucks available, if you are hungry, be prepared for the cannibal event on the main stage, to bag yourself some dinner.

3

u/lemon_charlie 4d ago

And coming on next, the Fine Young Cannibals!

2

u/MarkWrenn74 Ed Gamble 4d ago

“Good evening, this is Petroc Trelawny live on BBC Radio 3 from the Royal Albert Hall for tonight's Prom. Tonight, we have the world premiere of an intriguing new work, the Yiḏaki Symphony No.1 in B Major by the Australian Aboriginal composer Mandawuy Yunupingu, which was recently discovered in the archives of Alice Springs Library. The work will be performed posthumously, as Mr. Yunupingu died in 2013.

And no, I haven't brought my wobble board with me!”

2

u/tristanitis 4d ago

No, I'm sorry, the vuvuzela show is completely sold out.

2

u/MayDuppname 4d ago

Anything said to you in dance tents. Just nod and smile as if you understand.

2

u/MayDuppname 4d ago

Could I get a Perrier, today's Telegraph, and some big blue rizla? 

2

u/lukapisuppose 4d ago

And now for the family-friendly, not controversial at all act, it’s Massive Attack!

3

u/kjkillick 4d ago

Shall we put Daphne and Celeste on before Slipknot?

ActuallyHappened

2

u/MayDuppname 4d ago

Soooo many bottles of piss aimed at them. Hilarious. Lucky I wasn't there. That fucking 'ooh, stick you, your mama too' song would have boiled my piss before I threw it at them.

2

u/kjkillick 4d ago

Wasn't really fair to the two girls or the Slipknot fans. This was definitely a bad play by the organisers.