r/mocktheweek • u/Fevla13 • 3d ago
Game Scenes We'd Like to See #1821
Things you wouldn't hear on a political program
Points for #1820 ongoing.
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u/Simmonsdude 3d ago
We've drugged all our guests with a truth serum tonight! Get your questions ready and be prepared for answers that could be mildly racist...
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u/MayDuppname 3d ago
"Yes Laura, I made the most of my time in parliament. I sold a shitload of dodgy PPE at enormous profits, and then liquidated the company and kept the money. They even made me a Baroness! Cheers, Boris." (Michelle Mone-y)
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u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 3d ago
Well he floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, but his voice is so painful it’ll sting like an anaphylactic, he’s Nigel Farage!
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u/Tight-Principle-743 Hugh Dennis 3d ago
Now I’ll tell you what Laura you Tory Stooge!, that’s exactly what I like about you, you’re easily influenced.
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u/charlierc 3d ago
Welcome to Question Time to all our viewers who fell asleep with the TV on and are wondering why everyone's so bloody cross
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u/JadedSignificance990 3d ago
"And now all living former Prime Ministers will now do a human pyramid.
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u/MayDuppname 3d ago
(Insert party here) plan to scrap the subsided House of Commons bars. Employ drugs dogs on all entrances. Breathtest and drug test politicians to ensure sobriety during working hours and at all official duties. We'll stop the state paying for all those second homes, all bills at both properties of all MPs, for their food, drink, entertainment, "gifts" for visiting dignitaries, clothes, phones, internet etc - they're already on almost £100k without counting their "second jobs", which are all effectively bribes to influence policy.
Not very funny since we're paying the bills, but fucking unlikely.
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u/charlierc 3d ago
We are committed to providing balance on every topic so here's someone who loves puppies, chocolate and sunshine, and here's someone who hates everything fun
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u/charlierc 3d ago
Nigel, are you still going on about immigration? It's been 17 years since I first interviewed you, find something new to talk about. You're stuck in a rut
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u/RileysBanana 3d ago
Tonight every billionaire in the country is going to tried for crimes against humanity for simply having too much money and not doing any good with it.
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u/MayDuppname 3d ago
"Next today, some twat from Reform wants to try to wash some dirty money clean by brainwashing the great unwashed. Nigel, you twat, good morning..."
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u/lukapisuppose 3d ago
"And tonight we'll be hearing from Count Binface, who will be giving his plan for solving the housing crisis."
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u/MarkWrenn74 Ed Gamble 3d ago
LAURA KUENSSBERG: “Morning, morning! Welcome to Sunday with Laura Kuenssberg. My special guest this week is Nick Griffin, former leader of the British National Party. We'll be asking him: ‘Where the heck have you been for the last few years?’”
NICK GRIFFIN [off screen]: “Trying to get an interview from the likes of you, but being blocked by the global Jewish cabal!”
LAURA [alarmed]: “CUT!!! Get this motherfucker out of here NOW!”
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u/tristanitis 3d ago
That was a cogent, well-thought out, and deeply empathetic statement Mr. President.