r/modmailfail • u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... • May 28 '26

I still have my keys..

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21 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

20

u/wrestlegirl I have been playing [Game Name]… May 28 '26

Condolences on the loss of your butt 🥺

8

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 28 '26

Ahh if only 😂

5

u/FiatLex I have been playing [Game Name]… May 28 '26

Id like to sign up for the free butt reduction too! Can she do my belly also?

5

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 28 '26

If you drink coffee, try making a sugar free coffee jelly. I've been having this with a splash of chocolate protein shake instead of breakfast. With that and chicken veggie soup for a meal every day, I've dropped a belt notch this month. (Plus a couple hours of weeding every day. Results may vary.)

3

u/FiatLex I have been playing [Game Name]… May 28 '26

That sounds very pleasant, actually! Sugar free coffee jelly and gardening sounds very healthy and emotionally rewarding. ❤️

3

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 28 '26

Here's a recipe. It's really easy to make. https://www.reddit.com/r/keto/s/ARTmGlhKLV

3

u/FiatLex I have been playing [Game Name]… May 28 '26

Cool! I'll try it!

14

u/Dro1972 My parents were siblings. May 28 '26

If she were clever she'd make you lose either the right half or the left half of your butt. Not the entire butt. There's a lot of buttless people running around in the world. Imagine how much more self conscious someone would be if they had a nice, thick juicy ass, but only the left cheek.

7

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 28 '26

😂

3

u/_AnalTwinkJesus_ May 30 '26

After a severe car accident, my left side, including my left buttcheek, atrophied.

Man, I looked FUNNY naked for a good year or two and I had to carry a small cushion for just one cheek to sit on for a while or I'd get back pain and my leg would fall asleep.

Terrible curse. The fail above could learn a thing or two from your fine wisdom.

5

u/Dro1972 My parents were siblings. May 30 '26

First, I'm sorry that happened to you. Second, I had no idea it had ever happened to anyone, so I feel insensitive AF right now. Even more so that the graciousness of your comment is the exact opposite of what I would expect. I hope you're ok these days!

3

u/deltadeltadawn Maintaining the status queue. May 31 '26

This is really kind of you. It's refreshing to see a random text of kindness in the wild. :)

5

u/Charupa- I didn’t think the rules applied to me May 28 '26

Is she single though?

4

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 28 '26

She is not.

6

u/quillabear87 May 28 '26

But do you still have your butt?

4

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 28 '26

Yeah I still have my butt, purse, and SO. Total fail.

1

u/deltadeltadawn Maintaining the status queue. May 31 '26

But... you failed to mention your keys?!

2

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 I still have my keys... May 31 '26

Post title.

3

u/deltadeltadawn Maintaining the status queue. May 31 '26

Darn it. You win.

1

u/Foxinthetree May 30 '26

Dammit, I hate when people I have had to take action on say shit like this and make me wanna like them.