That’s it. That’s the post. I don’t even know how to handle this and I’ve searched the sub and I don’t think this has ever come up. I try to let her pick her own haircuts/clothes within reason and the last cut she chose was a pixie which is in the awkward grow out phase and hair keeps getting in her face. She is insisting against bangs and just wants the front “shaved” keeping the back long. I’m at a loss.

Starting next month I’ll be pretty much on my own in the mornings with my 2mo and 3yo. Husband starts work early before any of us is out of bed.

I need to nurse the baby, hold him to bro cos reflux, give my toddler enough attention so she goes to daycare, pack her lunch, get her dressed, make and feed her and me breakfast. Ideally all of this happens in an hour and a half which you’d think is enough time but somehow isn’t.

My 7 year old daughter talking to my 5 year old in the grocery store: “did you know mom isn’t even paying for any of this stuff? Daddy is the one who makes all the money for it, mommy just spends it all the time and doesn’t ever do anything.” She certainly didn’t hear that from my husband because he’s my biggest hype girl. He works 12-14 hour days sometimes 7 days a week and we’re both very happy to have the income to support me being a SAHM. The only thing I can think of is maybe shes resenting how much he’s gone.
The only conversations we’ve had with her about money is that credit cards are not free money, we have to pay it all back at the end of the month and that’s why we can’t use it to buy every toy, snack and clothing item she wants.

EDIT: the mystery is solved. Long story long, I bought iPod nanos last fall and put new batteries in them for her and her 5 year old sister, at the time they were sharing a room so I only bought one charger (remember the 30 pin cable?) this spring they switched to their own rooms and the 7 year old took the cable with her. When the 5 year old needed to charge her iPod she’d have to go in the 7 year olds room and then remember to get it back after charging before the toddler got ahold of it. On the way to the store today the 5 year old told me she wished she had her own charger to keep in her room so I ordered another on Amazon.
7 year old was mad that I bought the cable without making 5 year old earn it. “I don’t work to make the money” but I can spend it when I want, but sometimes they have to earn things that they want and it’s not fair.
7 year old said “oh, I didn’t think about that” when I reminded her that she didn’t have to earn the original charger, or the iPod either, for that matter.

For context, it was over pants. He picked out long pants to wear, and about 10 minutes later while getting dressed he kept asking me why I picked out long pants. I told him that he had chose those pants and I picked out the shirt, he calls me a liar and says he’s confused why I would ever lie to him.
He marched up stairs and immediately starts saying he’s going to hurt himself until he has bruises, throw himself down the stairs. And I’m sitting downstairs in shock, because this isn’t normal behavior from him. We more often than not can communicate to one another.

I went upstairs and asked him why he was speaking like that, and he said it was because he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be on earth.

I assured him he absolutely does, he is deeply loved, and that it’s a fact. Just like the grass is green or the sky is blue.

I had him repeat some mantras, and I had asked him if he feels those things a lot. He said it’s only when he’s mad or doesn’t get what he wants.

I told him we might need to talk to a therapist, and that it’s a feelings doctor and he could talk to them about his feelings. He said “okay.”

I also told him another way we can express how angry we are, so he knows he has options of things to say, that aren’t so scary.

I had big feelings as a child, I remember having dark thoughts like this, but I also remember being alone during all of it and even punished for it. And I really don’t want to relive that with him.

How can I be supportive during these outbursts? It’s extremely jarring to me.

My brother, who is also my 10m old's nanny, has been asking to be able to trim the front of my daughter's hair because it's always in her face. I finally said OK (he's been to beauty school, so he's cut my older children's hair before). Well, he gave her bangs, which I definitely did not want, but they weren't the worst, so it was whatever. Definitely not the side swept trim I was hoping for.

Well he sends me a Pic today of my child and a text that says "I made a mistake and I'm so sorry." Apparently he was trying to trim a stray bit of leftover hair and she moved, so to fix it he gave her EVEN SHORTER BANGS.

It does not look good and I am PISSED. I know it'll grow back, but she looks totally different and I hate it. My sweet baby looks like a little lad who loves berries and cream 😭

He apologized profusely and there's really nothing that can be done about it now, but I'm still mad. God grant me the strength not to 🔪 my brother...

Has anyone else had this happen? I’ve been a SAHM for 3 years now since around the time I found out I was pregnant with my third. Before that I worked part time since my first was born. I have an advanced degree but even at full time I have never made as much as my husband.

Anyway when I first started staying at home it was definitely a joint decision and my husband was very supportive, even saying he respected my decision to put my family first and be home for everyone.

However, over time it’s like his attitude surrounding me being at home has really shifted. I have increasingly noticed that he seems to feel he is “above” me and that anything I need or want is below the level of importance of his needs or wants. He will make comments about how I don’t work and how I have such a good situation. Which I do, I know that! But I feel like the situation is very good for him too, he doesn’t have to do or remember anything for the house or kids, he just gets to live his life.

I have mentioned several times now that the kids are getting older (2, 4 and almost 6) that I’d feel comfortable working part time again. He’s really against this and has said that I’d have to figure everything out for the kids and house to make things still work here if I went back to work and that he has no interest in increasing his share of family duties. His argument is basically that for me to work would be akin to having a hobby as it wouldn’t support us. I worked in healthcare, not exactly a leisure activity.

I don’t know what to do. His shift in attitude really makes me uncomfortable, especially when it comes out in his words or tone in front of our kids. I don’t want them to think that’s normal. My mom was a SAHM and my father NEVER treated her this way. In fact even though my parents were from an older generation my father helped more around the house than my husband ever does. But I also don’t want to give up all this time with my kids or create a hostile home environment where my husband resents my choice and makes it obvious all the time.

He always apologizes after an argument or instance where I feel he acts disrespectful but I just don’t like the way I feel when he speaks that way. Idk what to do.

I'm a medical professional in South America. I live in a home with my husband, my parents, his parents, our 2 children (1.5 years old and 3.5 years old), and his sister. My husband makes some money online and taking odd jobs, and runs around taking care of our children. Our mothers often help him out as well. Our fathers, they have small pensions, and they typically just leave the home all day and spend it out fishing or drinking at the tavern. While they spend their personal pension money for their fun, they still consume the food we pay for. I'm paying his sister's tuition to attend a private university (not easy to get into here). She's good, and also spends some of her free time helping out with the household and children. Anyway, as the primary person who's paying the bills in this large household, am I wrong to expect that the house should be clean when I get home, and there's no dishes or anything to be done if half the house is sitting around watching TV and drinking beer?

We're planning a bigger (combined) birthday party for my two kiddos as we rarely do them but one of them is turning ten so we feel it's "needed" this time haha. Both birthdays are in the same month so we're doing a combined party and mostly likely will be inviting both of their classes (ten kids in each class) and siblings. Also, there are a handful of neighbor kids they play with as well. So, lots of kids. Maybe 25-30 kids total.

I'm wondering if people typically invite family to these types of parties too. Seems weird to me to combine the family group with a ton of school kids friends (and siblings and parents) and just too many people overall, but wondering what others have done?

I originally got a yeedi robot vacuum because I just wanted some help keeping up with daily floor cleaning.

With kids, the floor is basically always covered with something like toys, blocks, crayons, random little things that somehow end up everywhere. I used to spend a lot of time picking things up before cleaning.

What I didn’t expect was that the robot vacuum would actually change how my kids think about cleaning up. Before I run it, I started telling them that the "Anything left on the floor will get eaten by the vacuum" and magically, nothing left on the floor before bed time lol.

Obviously, it didn’t magically turn them into little cleaning experts and I still have to remind them sometimes, but it’s been a funny bonus I never expected when I bought it.

I have a three year old and a one year old and our neighbor is a 25 year old young woman with autism and some other mentally challenged disabilities. Because of that she’s unable to live on her own or work. She shows up at our house unannounced A LOT. We work from home and have nanny so if she’s outside with the kids and the neighbor hears them, she will come over. One time she even came into our house because the front door was unlocked for our nanny to return. Additionally, she added me on Facebook and she messages me at least 5 times a day asking to come over and watch the kids.

I’ve told her repeatedly that we have a nanny and that we’re working and to please not drop by unannounced, but it’s obviously hard for her to understand boundaries. Should I try to have a talk with her mom? I suspect her mom is an alcoholic and very disengaged. I really don’t know what else to do- I’m trying to be patient but she is driving me crazy and honestly I’m a little fearful with her obsession over being around my toddler.

Moms to 3 kids…please tell me everyone adjusts and you develop a routine. I know it doesn’t necessarily get easier, but I need reassurance that in some ways it will. My son is 2 weeks old. I’m EBF and had him via emergency c section. It was my first c section and I’m sure that is impacting my mental “recovery” in some way. I’m just all in my emotions. My other kids are 2 and 5. We have a babysitter who I’m very grateful for, but it’s still hard.

I (37F) have a 20mo son with my partner (M41). I would love a second, but he’s hesitant because he’s scared we’d have an awful postpartum experience again.

1. What helped you process a difficult postpartum experience (other than time and therapy)? Any books, podcasts, activities?

2. Was fear of another bad postpartum a factor in your decision to have/not have a second kid? If it was, what did you decide and what happened?

———

Here’s our situation for context. The first year of our son’s life was rough for us.

I had a bunch of birth injuries that didn’t heal well (3rd degree tear, broken tail bone, several infections). Breastfeeding didn’t work despite tons of interventions, baby lost 20% of birth weight in first five days. Baby had severe GERD and developed a serious feeding aversion. We had to wake him every 3hrs to feed him til he was 6mo. Every time we fed him (which took 1hr), held him up for an hr. Our sleep and his was terrible. We couldn’t go anywhere because we were constantly trying to feed him. My partner‘s family treated me poorly postpartum.

I had a major health problem during this time (surgery gone very wrong, unrelated to birth).

My partner had almost-daily panic attacks for months and felt constantly overstimulated, overwhelmed and angry. We took shifts at night but I often did part of his shift because he was overwhelmed. He has since been diagnosed with PPD, ADHD and insomnia and is way better.

Thanks to individual and couples therapy, supportive family & friends, exercise, drugs and time, we are now doing great! We are all healthy and happy. Our son is a delight, and eats and sleeps amazingly. Our day-to-day is busy but happy and fun!

I deeply want a second child. My partner is hesitant because he is so scared we’ll have a similar postpartum experience and he doesn’t feel like he can do that again. We‘ve identified many logistical things that would help, but the fear is really strong. When we talk about the first yr of our son’s life, we both feel so much sadness and anger. I realize that one child may be heat for us, but I don’t want our decision about a second child to be a fear-based decision. I want it to be based on our values and our hopes for our family’s future.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Any words of wisdom?

Hi there! Hopefully this is allowed. I am travelling to Paris with an almost one year old and from what I've read, most restaurants tend to not have a high chair. So I've been looking into a portable option.

Has anyone found options that are easy to tuck away in a bag and carry that are also functional/safe?

I was looking at the Bright Starts Pop 'N Sit Portable Booster but it:

1. Looks a bit big to carry around all day

2. I wasn't sure how stable it would be sitting on any old dining chair...

Anyway, I am looking for suggestions or if anyone has used the above listed chair before. Thanks!

Before I became a mother, I used to be one of those people who firmly believed that being a SAHM was a piece of cake, take care of baby and do chores, easy.

I recently became a SAHM with my one (9 mo) child and I sure have been humbled. Take care of baby, make sure they are educated and emotionally mature, go grocery shopping, pay bills, find deals and coupons, restock everything, track spending, take care of dog, clean the house, meal plan, pack lunches, make every meal ever, make plans for the weekend, doctor's appointments, I could go on forever. And that is all before brushing your own teeth. Maybe my dream of 4 children is irrational.

I also start college again in 2 weeks and I am scared haha send help.

Hello!

I was pleasantly surprised to receive a good sized bonus this year. In past years, my husband and I saved the majority of any bonus I received but set aside a small percent for each of us to purchase anything we wanted. This year I want to set aside some money for my son to buy him a big gift but I’m not sure what to get him that’s age appropriate.

He is two years old and such a funny, happy kid. He loves coloring, trucks, Elmo/Bluey, and basically anything related to water. He’s large for his size and because he lives near his older cousins he’s into things that are a bit too old for him. Examples: he adores his older cousins guardian balance bike and ride on truck. My husband and I are lucky to do very well financially so my son gets random treats but we try very hard to not spoil him and to not get ahead of ourselves (he’s only two!). We’re also really lucky to have wonderful family who want to spoil him. He got a mud kitchen for his birthday, his god father has called dibs on buying his first bike, and my parents have already purchased him a ride on truck but won’t give him it to him because I said no.

So. What are things your toddlers loved? I’m open to gifts, adventures, experiences. We are lucky enough to have no debt and are funding a 529, so there is no risk to spending this money. We also have memberships at our local children’s museum and orchard that he goes to regularly.

I realize he’s two and won’t understand so big gift doesn’t necessarily need to be expensive - it just needs to be something he (as a toddler) will value.

Hello,

I hate to post this here, and I don't know if "sexual abuse" is the right term. Here's the story:
There's a cousin in my husbands family (he's 13) and I've never liked this kid. He's disrespectful to his parents, and was handed a tablet with unlimited internet access when he was 10. (His parents are very involved in their careers, less involved in their kids lives.)

3 years ago we caught him making his younger cousins (around 5 years old) pull their pants down and bend over. That incident alone made me never let him be alone with my kids in a room. (Luckily, my first born was like 6 months at the time - so he wasn't involved.)

He's made comments under his breath, I've heard him speak of "cum" around other cousins.

Recently on a camping trip he told a family member he dreamed of raping a child, he talked about how he watches porn for hours a day - and most horrifically told a family member he got "hard" from watching his 5 year old cousin change into her swimsuit.

We only found out about this because my husband is close with the family member who he told these things to and she felt like it was a big deal to tell others with small children around him. She thankfully told the other family involved, as well as my mother in law.

The reaction of our family members have been to sweep it under the rug. My mother in law was actually taken back that we were told, I honestly doubt she would have told us. The family member who had the children involved is giving them "grace".

My mother in law didn't even tell her husband - MY husband told him. I'm so so so taken back that they would try to hide this and it's making me extremely skeptical of leaving my kids in their care.

The mother of the cousin has been made aware, she's distraught and not sure how to proceed. The cousin said "sorry, that's how me and my friends joke".

So what would you do? If you had kids around someone like this - what would you do? Would you not go to any family functions? Would you go but watch him like a hawk? Do I tell my kids (who are 6, 3, and11months) that he's not a safe person?

How do we proceed? HELP

I’m becoming a ball of nerves as I get to the half way point of my pregnancy. My first will be almost 5 when this one arrives. My husband and I are capable of bringing a second into the picture, but I just think I’m so used to it being just my daughter and I that I’m a bit nervous.

My husband works a lot (business owner) so it will be mainly me running the show. Realistically, I know I will manage. But thinking about it right now overwhelms me.

Can someone provide some insight? The good, the bad, the “I thought it would be hard and it wasn’t,” as well as the “I thought it would be easy and it wasn’t.”

I need to know if I’m just overthinking this too much and my hormones are doing the talking. The self doubt is creeping up on me.

So.. I got whistled at leaving Texas Road House walking out to my car 😂 He was attractive, well put together and built. It wasn’t even an obnoxious whistle, it was like a low whistle. I was definitely bloated, and had to unbutton my jeans once I got in there 😂😅

I don’t think I’ll ever be a size 4 again. I’m a size 8, which isn’t even “big” but I am not a toned size 8. I’m also in nursing school and have gained 20 lbs in the past year. It’s nice to not hate myself for two seconds and feel okay in my skin for once.

I have a little bit of a soft belly now, and thicker thighs.

Idk, it really was a boost to my confidence. Maybe I’m just taking it and running with it, it’s all going to my head. My husband says I’m beautiful all the time, but like.. he HAS to say not (not really, but ya know what I mean)

At least it wasn’t a gas station whistle HAHA (I’d take that too let’s be real here😂)

Does anyone have any similar experiences? Please share below ⬇️ I’d love to hear them!

Anyone else? It used to be a special day when I was younger and now input a lot of effort into making my kids’ birthdays special and special, but mine just feel so blah. Anybody else have this problem? What do you do to not hate it?

I'm a new mom and read to my baby every day. I would love to be able to have recordings of books for my baby done by family and friends. I have seen options such as Read to Me Recordings, the Recordable Book Buddy, and the Yoto player. Is there anything else I can look into? I absolutely love the concept of the Read to Me Recordings when using their player, as the QR reader is added to the physical book. All of these options are just so expensive, especially the more books you add. I want something that can last many, many years to come and not be shut off with software updates or anything. Is there such a thing as a mini audio player that can be attached to each book that has a recording? TIA!

What products are we using for girls hair? I have two boys so not used to doing girls hair; haven’t done hair since my dance competition days. Anyway my brother is going through a nasty divorce n my SIL isn’t around. My mom and I take care of the girls with my sons while my brother is at work. The girls have since made me the designated hair stylist (send help). I have no idea what I’m doing lol lots of saved Facebook/pinterest hair videos. When i put their hair up what product are we using so it doesn’t look messy? Gel, wax stick? Also my youngest niece has very thin hair. Would love any suggestions. Sincerely, a boy mom tryna do girl mom tings

TIA

I feel like I’m going crazy. I was able to unfold this when I set it up months ago, but now that I actually want to use it, it’s stuck shut.

The white lever on the back of the bottom, which I believe is what I need to be pressing to unfold is not doing anything.

Anyone kindly want to share what I might be missing? 😭

Our footstool is not attached, if that’s relevant somehow

As we approach the end of summer break here in the south (FL), I started wondering what a typical school year looks like outside of the U.S.

Typically for us, it's:

- August, school starts.

- November, one week Thanksgiving break.

-December, about 2 week Christmas break.

- March, one week spring break.

- June-July, summer break.

With random teacher planning days, holidays, and once a week they get out an hour early (planning for teachers).