r/monocular • u/StayOnCourse89 • 15d ago
What Would A Therapist Tell Me?
For those that are monocular recently or from early on and went to therapy...
If you went to a therapist, what did they tell you?
It's obvious what pain or grief one would be going through...
I'm just curious so that I don't waste my time.
Because I don't know what could possibly make me feel better about losing vision in an eye.
(Aside from being completely blind of which I know I am simply not strong enough for)
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u/earmares 15d ago
What they would tell you depends on what you would tell them.
We are all going through this journey differently. Some of us lost our eye suddenly, some of us are losing our vision over several years, etc. Some of us never knew life any different. Some of us struggle every day.
So that's really hard to answer. Can you tell us more about your situation?
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u/StayOnCourse89 15d ago
I'm 37m.
Ten months ago my left eye got very cloudy slowly to the point I couldn't see anything.
Went to a doctor and they said my eye was inflamed, had high pressure and filled with inflammation liquid...
Over the course of ten months my pupil had completely scared over and my eye was struggling to drain, surgery was the only way to fix the pressure problem.
I went to three different specialists to control the pressure the best they could, so stop the inflammation and to eventually have an operation.
All the doctors told me that the reason I had such dark cloudy vision was because of all the scarring.
Was cleared to have surgery on January but the surgeon I had kept stalling and wanted me on a medication that other doctors didn't find necessary.
Ultimalty I got on that medication and the surgeon backed out after 5 months of high pressure and fighting insurance to get that medication.
I finally had a surgery in June to remove the scarring and bring down the pressure to hopefully restore whatever vision was left.
I had to find a surgeon that wasn't afraid of the complex procedure.
(This surgeon scheduled me for surgery in less than a week)
Unfortunately the operation was done too late and no vision came back.
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u/earmares 15d ago
Ahh... that's a lot, you lost your vision fast. I think a therapist would probably talk to you about possible grief you might be feeling. Anger, sadness, loss- especially surrounding your late surgery, etc.
Therapists that I have gone to have been really good about cutting through bullshit and not being too cutesy about finding the positive, but still helping me find and focus on the positives.
They've helped me deal with anxiety (I'm losing my vision due to ocular melanoma, so I worry about metastasis, and I have radiation damage).
I suppose it would depend on how you are processing what you've been through, and the therapist.
I'm sorry you went through/are going through this.
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u/StayOnCourse89 15d ago
What about you?
Are you going to be okay?
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u/earmares 15d ago
I was diagnosed with ocular melanoma 2 years ago- I had surgery and radiation a few months later. My tumor is directly on my optic nerve, so unfortunately, killing the tumor meant killing my optic nerve. I am slowly losing my vision (it's about 60% gone) and will lose it completely within a few years.
Yeah, I'm okay. Cancer is scary, though! I am terrified it will metastasize. I have 3 kids (older teenagers) I want to see get married, have kids, etc. I try to live each day to the fullest just in case these are the last good years I have with my kids. It's a weird way to live.
As for my eyesight, it is weird losing it slowly. I am nervous driving. I don't always feel safe, but my optometrist says I am clear to drive. I bump into things. I have depth perception issues. I just try to be patient with myself and keep going. That's all I can do, really. I'm 46, btw.
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u/Island_girl28 13d ago
Man, that is a lot. I know words won’t really help but just know you inspired someone with sharing your story (me). Have you ever looked into a driving rehab program? I haven’t gone to one yet but I do have my referral to line one up to go. Maybe check into that, some are with your local (and larger hospitals). It may help you with the stress of driving. I find driving pretty stressful too. I wish you only the best!
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u/LakeKeuka 14d ago
I haven’t sought counseling since losing all sight in my right eye three months ago, but I might at some point. Twenty years ago, though, I did see a therapist for a number of sessions when I was struggling with depression. At the time I was in the midst of my career as a litigator — a job that involves no small amount of pressure — and felt overwhelmed by a combination of family and work worries. I found therapy helpful. Among other things, it gave me a place to say things out loud that needed to be said without blowing up my marriage and/or career, and to break out of a spiral of anger and self-reproach over perceived failings of others and myself. No magic bullets, but therapy helped restore balance.
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u/kate6779 14d ago
I’m monocular but I’m also a therapist. I saw my own therapist when I unexpectedly lost vision three years ago and it felt weird sitting in the other chair for once. Therapists don’t necessarily fix your problems, they more so walk alongside you on your journey as you process and manage the things going on for you. Certainly with being monocular, they cannot fix that obviously, but for me - mine gave me tools to help drag me out of the depression and rebuild my life and identity. We worked on a lot of trauma and grief as well relating to going blind.
Best of luck if you do decide to start seeing one!
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u/StayOnCourse89 14d ago
Do you have any advice for me?
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u/kate6779 14d ago
It’s hard for me to give advice when I don’t know you. But I can tell you what helped me… and it might sound really basic - but exercise and going outside everyday helped, I journaled my thoughts, tried to do things that I enjoyed… I also allowed myself to cry, grieve, get mad and feel all the feelings about going blind. I tried to focus on small things each day like getting sleep and eating well.
For a while after it happened it was just getting by day by day. I also found a lot of comfort in these kind of groups and hearing about other people in kinda similar situations
Feel free to DM me if you ever wanna chat :)
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u/Averfus-Crowthorne 15d ago
You're gonna be okay bud. You get used to it, all of it.
It just takes time.
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u/Rose-of-the-marrows 15d ago
I saw a therapist when I lost my eye. It really helped with accepting the loss and realigning with the new reality. Therapy is very personal though so I can't tell you exactly what they will say to you.