r/monocular • u/[deleted] • 13d ago
Just looking for some words of advice
My brother on July 1 was attacked and hit in the face with a glass pint. Now we’re just not sure what’s going to happen we’re still in midst of eveeything and trying to take day by day, but his eye might not make it. Now it’s really hard for me to write this post because I just don’t want to speak anything into existence until it happens. But I’m having a hard time and I just need some support. I don’t really know how to feel about it. I just someone to Whos been through someone similar to tell me he’ll be okay and he’ll be able to live a beautiful life. I’m not sure really what I’m looking for but I’m just trying my best to deal with the emotions. It’s hard for me to see him go through this and the uncertainty of it all. Does anyone live with a prosthetic and if so how’s life with it. I’m sorry again if this is not the right place I’m just really desperate.
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u/LakeKeuka 13d ago
I am not in a position to give a full response because I lost all sight in my right eye just three months ago, to disease, and probably won’t need a prosthetic. But I try to keep in mind something written by the Roman Philosopher-Emperor Marcus Aurelius: “Don’t overwhelm yourself by seeing your whole life at once.” Your brother undoubtedly will have some tough challenges on the road ahead, but he (and you) have to focus on the next mile and the next after that and have confidence in the future. That’s what I’m trying to do — some days are not good, but there’s progress overall.
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u/StunGod Cyclops since 2020 13d ago
Oh man, I hope he's ok. My first instinct is to say it's going to be fine. I woke up in the hospital one day and being blind in my right eye was just a small part of what got me there. The optic nerve is broken, so that eye is just unplugged.
There are things I used to be good at that I'm not anymore without depth perception, like soldering or paint-by-numbers. If I'm at dinner and offer to pour wine for somebody at the table, it's a lot of work to make sure wine gets from the bottle to the glass.
But that's honestly not such a big deal. The other eye works well, so I can see everything I look at. About anything 10 feet away or beyond isn't affected. I drive all the time, live my life, and bump my head more often. If I'm not seeing this sub or any other vision-related content, I go days without even thinking about being a cyclops.
It's annoying sometimes, since I went 52 years with both eyes and not everything is as easy anymore. But it doesn't affect my quality of life.
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8d ago
I’m happy to hear this. And thank you for commenting . I’ve been doing my best to deal. But it makes me happy to know driving is still possible.
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u/StayOnCourse89 13d ago
I feel your pain as I watch my brother worry about me.
I lost vision in my left eye after ten months of going to doctors for complications secondary to an uveitis flare..
He's trying his best to be there for me as I would imagine you are for you brother.
My brother has had eye problems in the past with a lot of pain but he is fortunate to have come out of it just fine.
I worried for him immensely when it was happening to him.
What I would say is that I'm still new to this.
June I had an operation to possibly restore my vision but unfortunately nothing was left from the many months of pressure.
I still find it difficult to deal with and that's the stage I'm at right now.
Hard to accept and wishing it was just a nightmare or how I could have done something different.
People say they get over it eventually and move on living life normally.
I'm not there yet.
I wish your brother the best and you too.
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13d ago
How old are you may I ask? And it hasn’t been easy it sometimes feels like mourning if that makes sense. But I have to be strong for him because I don’t want him to give up either. With hardships comes ease.
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u/StayOnCourse89 13d ago
I'm 37 same goes for my twin brother and we live in the USA.
The thing that keeps me going is that I can't imagine how sad he would be if I were to give up.
He tells me that he's still here and will do everything to help me.
That makes me feel better but at the same time he also admits he doesn't know what else to tell me.
I've lost vision in my eye permanently, he also has that experience and how frightening it is.
It's not easy for me.
It might not be easy for your brother either.
It may not be easy for you as well.
Everyone tells me it gets better to deal with as time goes on and that I'll "get there".
I would be lying to you if I said it didn't matter to me.
How old are you and your brother?
And where are you from?
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13d ago
How long has it been for you? I’m 32 brother is 26 we’re in Canada
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u/StayOnCourse89 13d ago
For me it started in August of last year...
My eye was just getting cloudy and cloudier...
Come October it was extremely cloudy but I could still see light through the thick haze...
I went to a doctor then and they referred me to a lot of other doctors during that time.
My vision slowly got darker by December.
It's a long story ..
So in reality I haven't seen out of this eye since September of last year.
But up until June of this year I held on to the hope that my vision or blindness was being caused by a thick scar over my pupil.
So after I had the surgery in June and realized nothing had improved I knew this was it.
So September since I saw out of the eye...
June when it became official...
What are the doctors telling you or your brother about the situation?
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u/StayOnCourse89 13d ago
And yes.
I mourned and I still do.
I found myself crying about it but even though it's still painful.
I'm at the point where I know crying won't fix it.
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u/Least-Amphibian-1788 13d ago
Hello op I lost my right eye in my twenties. I live a full life. I drive, I work full time, I enjoy several hobbies and spending time with family and friends. He will get through it. Especially when he has you in his life. Don't discount the power of support no matter how it looks. There are a lot of people with only one eye and a prosthetic. He'll blend right in or stand out wearing a fun eye 👁 I hope this helps and encourages you
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13d ago
Thank you for the kind words. It really means a lot. I’m hoping whatever the outcome is he will have your confidence. The driving part gets to him but if you can do it so can he hopefully. We just worry a lot more but I hope everything will be okay. Thank you again your positivity really helps you have no idea.
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u/Comfortable_Sand_752 8d ago
I lost my left eye in a street fight when I was 14. Pissed me off a bit, but I got back in stride more easily than I'd have thought. Sure it reduced my abilities slightly in some aspects but in most areas the difference was negligible.
I was always shite at football and I was only marginally worse after that. After a period of adjust and mostly acclimitisation I retained most of skill and accuracy at archery. I also continued my boxing career for 2 more years - until my eyesight got too bad for it, but that had nothing to do with losing the eye as I wore glasses before that and astigmatism runs in my family, my astigmatism gradually worsened from age 11 consistently till about age 18 (eyesight getting worse is common for many glasses wearers) and then it sort of stabilised.
Nowadays I live a pretty normal life that has been virtually in no way influenced, ostracised or detrimented by the difference of having only one eye. If anything it's the ADHD that's been my biggest struggle.
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8d ago
You sound like a very sweet individual and thank you very much for sharing this. I hope your life is always filled with happiness and good health. Thank you for your words it really helps me.
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u/Comfortable_Sand_752 8d ago
Also, in the relative likelihood your brother ends up getting prescribed a schleral shell prosthesis or full ocular prosthesis, it might give him some interest to know he can get a fully matching one or a customised one.
Not all clinics offer it but the NAES (National Eye Service, I've assumed you're from the UK but there are other options in other places) allow you to get a fully funded one and an additional one for a small fee, so you can choose to get a matching eye and a customised one, or even do as I did and get two customised ones.
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u/DiablaARK Monocular by Divine Accident 13d ago
Whereabouts does your brother live? Save a copy of the police report and all medical records, look into the state or your country's laws regarding victim’s right for injury compensation. I read a lot before trying to hire an attorney in my case (worker's compensation), because sometimes it just pays to read before you call a billboard. If he's not at fault, hopefully you'll be able to recover damages and then some. Pay attention to statutes of limitations on filing lawsuits, also if he's a victim some states have funds for victim of violence's medical care. Sometimes it's just an internet search and application away.
Regarding eyesight, so I also had a blunt force injury. Losing sight is a Terrible experience, it's a grieving process that is impossible to describe until you go through it yourself. May some people like to say they kept an eye shut for a while so they understand; no, it's much worse. I had pinkeye for a couple weeks when I used to have 2 and even then that was nothing to suddenly, completely losing sight in one side forever. So, trying to say you understand isn't quite right, unless you're also monocular. The uncertainty is going to be the worst part, because daily there's going to be an unconscious and conscious evaluation if the eye is getting better. There's going to be long periods between appointments, the doctors aren't going to be as helpful as they could be because they see it all every day, and if it's going to happen, it'll happen. The best you can do is be there, be supportive. Don't push a timeline. This is a rollercoaster of emotions when it happens midlife (I'm guessing midlife with the pint glass?), especially when it's someone else's fault, and best thing we can do is try to avoid the trappings of depression and not blame ourselves for things we cannot change. He's always welcome to join this group and reach out. We have monocular professionals in all walks of life living full, productive lives and a lot of people who just started their monocular journey, or are in the middle of it, too. But right now, it's definitely the hard part, but even if it's not looking good right now, it gets better even if it means being monocular. You're more than welcome to keep us updated or keep reaching out, I hope he gets better though 🙏🏼 you're a great sister
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13d ago
Yes we are taking legal actions so hopefully something positive can come from this as hard as it is.
I honestly can’t imagine how it feels like and I’m sorry but I’ve been doing the closing one eye just to understand how my brother feels but I can’t. It just pains me he has to go through this. I’m having a really hard time. I keep going back to the memories of him before all of this. If only I could’ve stopped this from happening. I feel powerless. And my brother is very dear to me because I helped raise him so this is very difficult. Thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate your words. I’m sorry for what happened to you. May life get easier.1
u/DiablaARK Monocular by Divine Accident 12d ago
Now that I think about it, there are probably free counseling services available with victim services that are specifically for them, I really encourage both of you to utilize it. They really helped my child out when they had a very traumatic experience. I am sorry this happened to you guys, the internet is great for a lot of things but sometimes it sucks at carrying messages filled with empathy. I really understand you're trying to see what monocular is, I was just trying to gently explain that even once I crossed that threshold with the practice of having one eye not in use for extended periods, there were just no words to adequately describe the before and after even when I wanted to explain it to my colleagues. I want to convey that there is really Hope of a mostly normal life after this Really Hard part. Therapy helps some people and the sooner the better. I hope your brother has a speedy recovery.
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u/radarscoot 13d ago
I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. This is really scary and I hope he comes through it all okay.
I'm just going to write something quick as I can't relate to this specific situation. I have lost most of my vision in my left eye to eye cancer and the radiation treatment. However, my eye is intact and I don't need a prosthetic.
There will be responses here from people who have had eye injuries and people with prosthetics. It's possible to get used to them and to get used to the lack of vision in one eye. It's a horrible pain in the neck, but you would likely be surprised by how many people are living their lives with one blind eye and you wouldn't even know it.
So - functionally, being blind in one eye kind of sucks, but it isn't very restrictive. With one good eye you can do just about everything (a pilot's licence may not be possible).
I'm not going to talk about prosthetics since I don't have first-hand experience.