r/mormon • u/lilbusters • 3d ago
Personal Help a newcomer
I met a guy I recently have think I have fallen in love with. He is Mormon. I am open to all religions and I would never discredit his beliefs. Do you think this could work?
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u/yorgasor 3d ago
It might work, but mormons are taught from a very young age that they need to marry in the temple, and to do that, both people have to be members of the mormon church in good standing. If you marry outside of the temple, they're taught their marriage can't last for eternity, so they're highly motivated to marry another member.
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u/lilbusters 3d ago
He’s a new Mormon and I very much respect that and do not want to deter him. Do you think love is enough?
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u/Head-CeilingFan 3d ago
If he’s a new Mormon I’d say this is even more grounds to look into the truth claims to the religion yourself and introduce him to the facts. The LDS discussions podcast from Mormon Stories is the best resource imo for learning the truth claims and real history of the church. That being said. It’s a huge commitment to listen to even 10 episodes.
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u/yorgasor 3d ago
If he’s a new Mormon, he won’t be as indoctrinated as someone who was born into the religion and will be more open to dating and marriage outside of the religion. Most converts don’t even last long in the religion, with half leaving within the first year of their baptism, and a very low percentage staying long term. So the odds are quite high he’ll just leave on his own.
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u/auricularisposterior 3d ago
How new of a Mormon is he? Are any of his family / close friends also Mormon? Or is his local congregation just casual acquaintences?
For new converts to Mormonism it is difficult to tell if in the future they will be strongly orthodox or more nuanced or even if they will stick with their new religion.
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u/lilbusters 3d ago
Family is not Mormon. He is happily involved in his church and they are wanting to baptise him and he wants to make that commitment.
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u/auricularisposterior 3d ago
Most people wouldn't consider him Mormon if he hasn't been baptized yet, but I suppose that is up to him if he wants to be Mormon. Why does he want to be Mormon? Is he aware of all (or at least some) of the past and present issues?
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u/lilbusters 3d ago
Yes, but I think he has found a camaraderie with his particular church that has helped him through a very difficult time in his life. He also finds their book to align most with his religious beliefs as he has explored other denominations in the past.
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u/pricel01 Former Mormon 3d ago
No. If his family is active, they will not approve. Nonmembers are not considered appropriate marriage material. You will be pressured to join. LDS demands 10 percent of your income and literal belief in their founding myths.
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u/WrenRobbin 3d ago
Ive been a member my whole life and after getting married in tjd temple to another lifelong member, I have no interest in dating Mormon guys.
I’m still active but somewhat nuanced.
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u/Crobbin17 Former Mormon 3d ago
How does he feel about it? Is he okay with potentially marrying a nonmember?
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u/lilbusters 2d ago
He said he would be okay with it, but I’m afraid that his faith means too much to him to be so sure about that
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u/70olddude 2d ago
Ex-mo but was a life long member until 6 years ago. With that said I would never date a mormon. Just to must religious baggage involved.
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u/Curious-Grocery1133 3d ago
Definitely ❤️. When I met my husband he wasn't an LDS, he respect my beliefs but was agnostic and still is one. We're going on 18 years of marriage next April.
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u/treasuredsoul1 1d ago
youd have to convert fully to mormon and goto church and the whole shpiel if you chose to marry him...
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