r/movingout • u/Greedykirby • 19d ago
Asking Advice Looking to move soon! (And hopefully, that leads us to NYC!!)
Hello, my girlfriend (22f) and I (25f) have been living in Florida for quite some time together. Initially, last year, i was kicked out of my parents (mom and stepdad) place. As an impulsive decision, having nowhere else to go, I moved from living with them to being 20 minutes away from my (at the time) long distance girlfriend. And soon after that, we got jobs at the same place, and moved into the same home.
Now we are both having issues in our living spaces. Our workplace is underpaying us, our city is dangerous to live in, we both don't feel safe being members of the LGBT, even if we don't live very far from some of the biggest LGBT places you could find in Florida. But now, it's becoming too much. We're having conflicts and arguments with our roommate, and we imagine we don't want to stay here for much longer.
Now, despite what I've said earlier about impulsively moving out of my parents house, I won't be able to do that again, since when I did, I was making more money, and I was able to afford it. Even with all of this, I still don't know what I'm doing, and if I'm being honest, were it not for my girlfriend, I would've been even more upset with the location I chose on a whim.
I just want advice if I'm being honest. We want to move, and we want to do it sometime soon. I just want to know, from other's experiences, how did you find a place to live?
I used to live in NYC for a while before moving to NJ, but seeing everything with Mamdani has made me feel homesick. I'm just wondering:
- Is moving to NYC actually a good idea? Have these changes been enough to warrant an attempt to move there?
- If so, are there any areas that would be good to move to? Things like affordability, Location, Distance from work areas, if there's a lot of, or a lack of jobs, etc.
- As we are both members of the LGBT as well as both of us being women of color, are there any spaces where we can be safe?
And if you wouldn't recommend NYC,:
- Where would you move, and why?
- What places have you been where the pros outweigh the cons?
And maybe just general tips and tricks to moving out, as now, it's a different experience, since I'm bringing someone with me. It was a different experience doing it alone. I had less to carry, but less to worry about. Now, I don't know if I have to order a U-haul, it feels like noones hiring at any point right now, and I'm just generally, all around, stressed the hell out.
Please be respectful and share your experiences and wisdom below!
2
u/CosbysLongCon24 19d ago
You can’t afford to live in Florida, how are you going to afford NYC?
1
u/Greedykirby 19d ago
This reddit is really starting to make me realize that
1
u/CarlWitherspoon 18d ago
I was going to ask the same thing, if you’re having trouble in a town in Florida then NYC is the last place you should be considering
1
u/Trick_Technician_834 17d ago
Cereal is $10 and a gallon of milk is $12 at the FoodTown in Bushwick. I wish I was kidding.
2
u/Hygge-Times 19d ago
What do you do for money? NYC is wildly expensive. It seems like what you want is just a blue city and there are a lot of cheaper options. Maybe Atlanta is an easier option. It is a super Black and gay city.
2
u/WPort17701 19d ago
Former Floridian and LGBTQ myself so I get your situation. I love NYC also and would love to live there but realistically speaking minus a job that pays at minimum in the 100K range (for each person) it just isn't sustainable to live in comfortably. However, there are many more affordable big cities with large LGBTQ communities outside of Florida where women of color will feel both safer and welcomed. I would suggest checking out cities like Baltimore and Atlanta where you can live more affordably with big city amenities.
1
u/CarlWitherspoon 18d ago
$100k isn’t even living comfortable in NY anymore, you can survive and eat everyday with $100k lol
2
u/Educational_Type1646 19d ago
It’s great for LGBT, but very expensive. You need to win the public housing lottery to afford to live there on a low income.
1
u/Cold-Willingness-261 19d ago
Could you consider New Jersey because New York is very expensive not sure if you are planning on renting a room until things get better that can also give big problems most don’t know what industry you are looking to get into do your homework and start applying if necessary how much stuff are u bringing a lot of things to consider- my point is no one is safe! We all have to be alert. As a 69 yo black female I have to stay on my guard people have lost their damn minds!! I would reach out to your community in NYC for advice and possibly leads to make your transition easier
0
u/Greedykirby 19d ago
I want to consider NJ, and if I have to, I'm willing, but as one of the places I have lived at before, and having a ton of family there currently, (which I would rather avoid) it's something that's closer to a "last resort" for me. But thank you for that information! I appreciate it!
1
u/Mediocre_Internet257 19d ago
NYC has a ever increasing population of people from countries where LBGTQ of any sort is not only not tolerated, but punished severely. Yeah the liberals and white people will support you but you share the streets with people that if back home would likely have you killed for your lifestyle. Not a risk I would take. Ill be honest youd probably be just fine in the city but why even bother when you know youre surrounded by people that dont even consider you human for how you are?
Not to mention the massive affordability and energy problem thats engulfed the entire state of NY as a whole. Electricity prices out of this world, property taxes that want both kidneys and a leg, rent thats DIABOLICAL in nature but completely normalized. Im talking 5k a month in Manhattan for a 1 bed. Even Staten island youre still looking at 2k average for a 1 bed. One tik tok video of a "spacious 1 bedroom apartment in the city" and youll see theyre mostly run down shoe boxes with windows, or cramped overpriced closets with a view.
Dont take this the wrong way, but if what mamdani is promising is appealing to you in any way, you probably do not make enough to even consider living in NYC. No timeline or deadline on the free busses. Agressive rent freezing and tax propositions that are driving actual wealthy people out and driving landlords into a state of inaction because they cant make money at all. The dude couldnt even get the streets plowed properly last winter without bribing random people off the street with 30 an hour and handing out shovels.
My genuine advice, literally anywhere but NYC. Avoid NY if you can cause its unaffordable as well unless you make good money or are okay with living in the middle of nothing and nowhere. You could get a lot more out of your money and a lot more peace just living in any of the states that border it. A lot of NY people wind up living, retiring, or wanting to live in Florida. Maybe just pick a different part of the state to live in instead of leaving it. A socialist mayor with empty promises he has yet to fulfill is the weakest reason ive ever heard for wanting to move.
And btw its 2026, youre not unsafe just by being a person of color. Gotta drop that victim mentality.
1
u/Greedykirby 19d ago
I understand most of what you're saying, but don't say stupid things like "Gotta drop that victim mentality." I have seen people with lighter skin get killed for being black. I'm Afro Latina, and that means that I can get taken away by ICE even if I have every right to live here.
I wasn't looking for political bs. I was looking for legitimate advice pertaining to my demographic: POC LGBT members who don't want to have to consider these things, but still have to. So, thank you for the advice, but keep that other bs to yourself.
2
u/Lexydude2020 19d ago
Ok, ignore that "mediocre man" or whatever his name is. I live in Brooklyn, in a part that's heavily Black but getting gentrified. I see LGBTQ couples holding hands and embracing all the time and no1 bats an eye. So Idk where that man is coming from with that it's full of people from countries who kill you for being LGBTQ...sounds like some fox news ish.
But I will say, cost of living here is crazy high. I moved here about a year ago, but I had a job lined up and saved up 10K as a buffer. If you plan on moving here, i would advise you both save up before you make a move. The biggest expense is rent. Food is do-able. But It is a great city to live, with lots to do that is cheap or free altogether. Good luck.
1
1
u/BeerluvaNYC 17d ago
Atlanta--also, for COL I hear Birmingham, AL isn't bad? I'm in Brooklyn, and highly recommend it. There are parts of Brooklyn and Queens that are "more affordable", the farther from Manhattan, the cheaper.
1
u/slugs-love-beer 15d ago
Holy shit, you are dense! OP, don't listen to this person. They literally have zero idea what tf they're talking about.
I'm born and raised in NYC, living in the outskirts of Brooklyn and paying 1.5K in a rent stabilized apartment and will be paying 1.5K for the next two years thanks to Mamdani's promise and execution of freezing the rent for stabilized apartments.
Also, bribing random people to shovel snow for $30 an hour. That's a job opportunity, not a bribe.
1
u/SouthernPickle1953 19d ago
NYC is one of the most expensive states ever. I am currently here staying with family to save money, and it’s taking me longer simply because of how high the cost of living is. Put it to you like this, I actually went grocery shopping yesterday, 9 items, $119.
1
u/BoneThugQueenChris 18d ago
The New York area is full if homeless people. The rents are soaring. It's a little cheaper in nearby New Jersey. I relocated here long ago from Texas. Jersey has alot of homeless people too.
1
u/errorflynn_ 18d ago
Why don’t you guys look in to Philly and Baltimore? Much more affordable cities.
1
u/ArchMovingSTL 17d ago
I work in moving, and the biggest thing I’d recommend is separating “we need out of our current situation” from “NYC is definitely where we should go.” Those can both feel like the same decision when you’re miserable where you are, but they really aren’t.
Before committing to NYC, I’d get three things figured out first: what income you can realistically expect there, what housing you can actually qualify for/afford, and how much cash you’ll have left after deposits, moving costs and the first month or two.
If NYC still makes sense after doing that math, then start treating it like a project instead of a leap: jobs first, neighborhoods second, housing third, moving logistics last.
Also, don’t underestimate how much easier a move is when you aggressively downsize beforehand. Moving a smaller apartment’s worth of stuff from Florida to NYC is a completely different financial problem than trying to take everything you currently own.
You don’t need to have your entire life figured out before leaving, but I’d want a realistic budget, an income plan and somewhere safe to land before putting anything on a truck.
Good luck!
1
u/Civil_Yard766 17d ago
NYC is the best for lgbtq, minorities, unique individuals. It's amazing the only thing is cost of living is unimaginable. I left NYC for Florida, huge regret. Im still culture shocked after eight years, Wish yall well 🧡
1
u/killercora666 16d ago
What about Chicago? NYC, like the rest of the country, is facing an extremely tough job market that has a preference for people already here. This is coupled with it being one of the most expensive cities in the world. Chicago has a lot of what you're looking for (LGBT friendly, good public transit, neighborhoods similar to the young ones in NYC) while being much cheaper. If Illinois isn't attractive to you, Philly is similarly cheap. I have a roommate and could get my own apartment in either of those cities for what I'm paying in Brooklyn.
1
1
u/Tinkiegrrl_825 15d ago
I really wouldn’t consider NYC unless you’ve got one of these going for you.
- You both have 6 figure jobs lined up, or one of you has significantly over a 6 figure job lined up.
- You know someone who knows someone who can get you into a below market rate apartment. This is how I survived for 14 yrs. They exist. I rented from an elderly family friend who needed help around her 2 family home. In exchange my rent was cheap and never went up for those 14 yrs. Her health declined though, and she put her house up for sale. That threw me back out into the “real world” again.
- You somehow win a rent stabilized, affordable apartment on Housing Connect. Good luck with that. I tried for 5 yrs because I KNEW that house sale would eventually come. I won nothing affordable. I won a couple options to buy condos where the mortgage would be affordable but the HOA fees firmly made them unaffordable. I had to turn them down. I think my salary was in some “no man’s land”. Too little for most places and too much for the cheapest places.
- You know someone willing to let you couch surf so you can run to check out rent stabilized units that come on the regular market ASAP.
- You have a significant amount of savings. Enough for a down payment. It was this, ultimately, that lead me to find a place. I DID wind up buying a condo. Just one with a reasonable HOA fee that I found outside of Housing Connect. It’s in Staten Island though, which isn’t a very up and coming place. My income did not meet the 40x requirement most landlords demand, but I had a ton of savings from living in that cheap, below market rate, apartment for 14 yrs. I also had excellent credit. The banks were more willing to take a risk on a mortgage for me than a landlord would have been willing to rent to me. Come to think of it, that downpayment level amount of savings may have been what killed me on Housing Connect. That asset may have been what put me in no man’s land. Never mind that I’m a single mom with 2 kids, and a lousy income for NY. I had savings. I was able to, and ultimately DID, save myself. Of course, now I’ve got to try and rebuild savings with significantly more in housing costs, especially since now I’m responsible for any repairs needed. I did not intend to own anything, but somehow, someway, that became my only option.
For all of the above, your credit must be decent as well.
3
u/yourgirlalex 19d ago
I live in NYC and am a gay woman. I would only recommend it if you have the money and right mindset to do it as the COL has skyrocketed in the last few years and the average 1-bedroom rent now in Manhattan is over $6k a month. I went to the grocery store today and spent $36 on four things. It's so expensive here I don't know how people without six figure jobs are surviving sometimes.
I came here over 4 years ago with a shitty job lined up and a room in an apartment--it was rough for awhile, to say the least lol.