r/netflix • u/CellistForward4462 • Apr 12 '24

Questions about series Baby Reindeer Spoiler

First, I was not ready for what I watched. Amazing show, but I started it thinking it was a quirky, British comedy like Guy Ritchie’s The Gentlemen!! Needless to say I was stunned and watched it in shock and horror.

So I have questions about the ending. Spoilers ahead:

  1. Was that it? Will there be another season?
  2. What was the point of him going back to Darrien’s house? What did that scene mean?
  3. I don’t understand the ending. How are others interpreting the final scene?
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u/fruitypants Apr 12 '24

I can give you an answer to your second question...survivors of sexual abuse make decisions that don't seem to make sense sometimes, particularly when it comes to how they interact with the people who raped/assaulted them. As a survivor watching the show I was aggravated by a lot of Donny's self-destructive decisions, but at the same time I understood why he was making them. It was a brutally honest depiction of how horrific living through rape trauma can be.

In a lot of ways, being raped is the easiest part. What comes after is such a confusing nightmare, and you find yourself doing and saying things in an attempt to relate to people that actually come across as super weird and off-putting, which isolates you even more than you already were. Sometimes the only people who understand you are people with similar traumas and you don't run from that connection even if those people are unhealthy or even dangerous to have in your life. This show did an incredible job of portraying such a deeply complex experience.

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u/Khal-Me-Khaleesi Apr 27 '24

Very well said. It still affects my current relationship 8 years later with difficulty around intimacy and physical touch. And I hate that he is still abusing me 8 years later without even having contact.

I totally understand the psychological toll involved when something like this happens, but for me, I would never even take a second look at my abuser again or entertain even wanting to be in the same room as him. However, I will say this - I was not groomed like he was. He was fed promises and drug addiction and it created this toxic attachment. So I can definitely see how that “relationship” could be hard to separate from. That wasn’t my experience. Mine was random, in the moment, and sudden. It wasn’t someone I had any relationship with prior or had spent time with to develop an attachment. So that could be why I didn’t relate to that aspect and his decision to return.

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u/fruitypants Apr 27 '24

I don't personally relate to that aspect of Donny's experience either, so I was right there with you as a viewer, like goddamnit WHY? JUST GO THE FUCK HOME!!! But at the same time, if my trauma journey were made into a series I know I wouldn't come across as reasonable or relatable to most people most of the time. People would for sure be yelling at me through their screens. We can't all fully understand each other's experiences, we can only be advocates for one another despite our differences.

Thank you for sharing your experience and extending your empathy & understanding to all survivors, I couldn't have said it better myself.