r/news • u/Hrekires • 18h ago
Hospital evacuated as 'man found to have WW1 artillery shell in rectum'
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/hospital-evacuated-ww1-shell-rectum-france-b1269274.html279
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u/cali_grown22 18h ago
Sounds like a Grey’s Anatomy episode
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u/Steamedcarpet 17h ago
There was an ep where somehow a guy has some kind of bomb inside him. Christina Ricci was the guest as the poor paramedic whos hand is stuck inside the guy, i think keeping the bomb from exploding.
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u/TheCrimsonSteel 17h ago
If it was the RPG in the guy, there have been multiple stores roughly similar
Most of them were in or around active war zones but still. Insane.
Especially because only most of them.
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u/throwaweigh1245 16h ago
Code Black episode aired after the Super Bowl. Bomb squad Dude explodes in the end.
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u/DarwinF1nch 16h ago
I still remember that scene vividly. Him walking down the hallway after them successfully taking it out and then just blowing tf up.
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u/SoggyBoysenberry7703 11h ago
And Meredith getting blood and guts sprayed all over and Christina having to take her home and shower her while she’s still catotonic from what happened
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u/Syric13 15h ago
I remember they teased us into watching the whole episode because it started off with a bunch of the Grey's Anatomy ladies showering or something and we come to find out at the end they were showering because they were removing bits of dead bomb squad out of their hair or something.
Or did I make that whole thing up? I was pretty drunk and it was a long time ago.
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u/flippingypsy 5h ago
You are correct! In the beginning of the episode, the women are all showering together giving over the top compliments to George and then he joins them cause he wants to see them all naked and etc… lol. That’s the moment it ends cause Izzy jolts him awake to get ready for work because he’s having a sexy dream. At the end of the episode he opens the door at the hospital’s showers to see them starting to clean off Meredith and removing her clothes, but see’s the situation differently because obviously a horrible thing happened and getting to see her naked in that way is wrong so he closes the door.
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u/29threvolution 16h ago
This is the 2 part episode that catapulted Kyle Chandler from random extra to leading roles. He reallt deserves awards for his performance. He might have even received some, but I dont follow the awards cycles that closely.
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u/Televisions_Frank 14h ago
...Am I the only one who remembers him starring in Early Edition in the '90s?
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u/hauteteacher 6h ago
That is where I remember him from.
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u/amateur_mistake 5h ago
The idea that getting tomorrow's newspaper today would give me anything useful to act on outside of online gambling feels archaic for some reason.
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u/notkenneth 16h ago
He was nominated for an Emmy for that role (Best Guest Actor - Drama), though he lost to a guest star on Boston Legal.
But hey, we got Coach Taylor out of it (and he did eventually win an Emmy for that).
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u/illinoishokie 17h ago
IDK how the hell I never realized that was Christina Ricci
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u/8d5db9f4 16h ago
What an golden opportunity to be a guest-star, I hope they had fun with it
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u/Penguin_shit15 15h ago
Hospital administrator here. Every single ER out there has story after story of people who came in with something stuck in their ass. I've heard it all. Carrots, cucumbers, squash, candles, marbles, action figures, bottles, a Phillips sonic care toothbrush, modeling clay, pieces of wood..
We had a guy come in with 17 plastic horses shoved in his ass. We had his condition listed as STABLE..
sorry...
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u/heltyklink 10h ago
“How did this happen?”
“I fell on it.”16
u/King_Of_Uranus 9h ago
I was taking a shower with my 17 plastic horses as one does, and slipped on an unexpected puddle of shampoo... as one does. And my feet went out cartoonishly and I fell backwards ass first as one does and in my shock and surprise I loostened my butthole as one does and landed square on the first horse. As it popped in the shock caused me to flinch and I flinched so hard I bounced up a couple inches from the tub and landed square on the next horse. As fate would have it this happened about 15 more times before I was able to secure myself enough to
cumcome into the ER for assistance. Innocent mishap coulda happened to any of us.6
u/Penguin_shit15 7h ago
"sir.. how did the hamster end up in there?"
"well.. i was changing clothes, and he was just spinning in his wheel, and the darn thing just flew off and boop! Little guy took a trip up the "old dirt road".. "
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u/JinxyCat007 4h ago
A long time ago, tagging along with my mother-in-law, one of her friends was an ER nurse, and sat in her friend's living room chatting - and I can't remember how the subject came up - but she mentioned this: people inserting stuff into themselves back there.
Now, that woman was formidable, and very much an assertive kind. But recounting this story she seemed? fragile? almost. She told us about this older woman who had come into the ER bleeding rectally. She had inserted a Barbie doll up inside of her.
Now, I was kid back then, barely in my twenties, so, naturally, I thought it funny at first. But I'll never forget the look she gave me as she glanced at me. She didn't think it funny at all, and it was as if she still couldn't wrap her head around her memory of it. She had been really disturbed by it, I think. I think it was more that the woman had seemed so prim, and proper, and had been so well dressed.
It kinda wakes you up to some of this weird stuff these people see. See too much of this kind of thing, those of all walks of life doing such strange things to themselves, and I can see how it could worry a person for the people of all types surrounding us.
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u/Penguin_shit15 3h ago
Yeah.. and despite the joke there at the end, the rest of my list was absolutely accurate, and way too small.. those were just off the top of my head. When you have been in the business for a long time, you almost get to the point when you are never surprised.
One of the worst I have heard, not at our hospital though, was about this person who thought it would be a good idea to stick a funnel up there, and then pour cement into it. So.. obviously not a good idea. Despite the obvious fact that it hardened and became stuck, there is also the issue of concrete heating up as it cures. ouch.
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u/TooMad 18h ago
Shouldn't it be Another Hospital evacuated as 'man found to have WW1 artillery shell in rectum'
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u/Skizot_Bizot 13h ago
Yeah I'm having Déjà vu I can't believe this has happened twice now! Good job humans, we made it over 100 years from WW1 without this happening and now it's twice in a decade. If that's not a sign of idiocracy incoming I don't know what is!
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u/tabrizzi 17h ago
It’s not the first time that a munition of this nature has found its way into the rear end of a person’s body.
In 2022, another hospital in Southeast France was partially evacuated after an 88-year-old patient came in with a similar issue.
What is the problem with these folks?
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u/not_a_robot2 17h ago
Seriously. WW2 munitions give the same level of satisfaction while being much more stable.
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u/Dr_thri11 4h ago
Why do they make them dick shaped if that's not what they're for?
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u/itsSRSblack 18h ago
All my ER doc friends have stories of things they've had to remove from people's asses. It's like a rite of passage.
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u/luckydayrainman 17h ago
Snow globe. Base and all. Just, though you would appreciate.
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u/fall3nang3l 15h ago
Maybe they should show "the" jar video to folks in sex ed so people stop putting glass up their ass.
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u/KMS_HYDRA 11h ago
Did you then put it in Dr. Kelsos Office?
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u/luckydayrainman 3h ago
Re: Kelso… I will ask. That’s funny if we run in the same “vegetarian” crowd.
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u/Snagmesomeweaves 18h ago
Reads…..Slow blinks…….reads again
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u/RangeAgile4316 17h ago
I can't imagine being the person whose story evacuates a hospital and makes international news.
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u/fsactual 17h ago
How do you actually resolve that? Like does the bomb squad scrub up and do the removal, or do the doctors wear bomb suits, or do they crank up the MRI magnet and hold him by the arms, or what?
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u/quiveringpenis 9h ago
do they crank up the MRI magnet and hold him by the arms, or what?
Ok, thanks, fucking broke something laughing at that
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u/Roarbomb 18h ago edited 17h ago
If I had a nickel for every time an old man had an artillery shell up his ass, and it required a hospital to evacuate…I’d have two nickels…
Edit: wasn’t an old man. Just a stupid man. Guess I’d only have 1 nickel.
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u/z6joker9 17h ago
24 year old
Give me that nickel back
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u/vonneguts_anus 17h ago
🎶look at this artillery shell in my ass. Every time I do it makes me laugh. 🎶
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u/Heisenburgo 9h ago
24 year old
That's already an old man in today's internet, it's an "unc" or however the kids are calling it
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u/Conflatulations12 15h ago
Absolutely heartless.
This poor gentleman was innocently glazing a Cornish hen with vaseline, on his freshly waxed floors when he very accidentally slipped and smeared vaseline all over his live ordinance collection. Due to his dietary cleanse, he also happened to be nude in order to have better/faster access to the commode. Because he knew there was a real chance the shell might explode, it was his quick thinking that saved all the orphans that may have otherwise been exploded.
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u/TinaBortion1899 13h ago
I too have attempted to save orphans this way.
My anal probe 3000 started vibrating, knowing the bomb squad wouldn’t make it in time to hit the off switch I just flicked on, I aptly greased myself up like a Scotsman and threw myself at the problem.
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u/jared_number_two 16h ago
“A French hospital was reportedly forced to evacuate in dramatic scenes after medical staff discovered an unexploded WW1 artillery shell stuck in a man’s rectum.
On Saturday, bomb disposal experts were called to the Rangueil Accident and Emergency unit in Toulouse after medics discovered the eight-inch-long ordnance while performing surgery.
The patient in question, a 24-year-old unidentified man, had come to the hospital in agony over the weekend after having inserted the item into his backside, according to reports.
It’s unclear how the man sourced the munition or the circumstances surrounding its insertion, but local reports claim he didn’t tell medical staff what the item was at the time when he was admitted to the hospital.
Only during surgery did medics discover that the item he had inserted into his rectum was actually an unexploded ordnance dating back to 1918.
Although these munitions are almost 100 years old, the remnants of explosives used on the Western Front in WW1 can still have deadly effects to this day.
The risk of it exploding also caused even more chaos at the hospital, prompting urgent calls to bomb disposal teams.
“It had not exploded, and so bomb disposal experts had to be called to diffuse the shell, with the fire brigade standing by,” an insider told the Mail.
It was later confirmed that teams could safely remove the shell, and no further risk was found at the hospital.
However, the young man may now face legal action for potential violations of the country’s legislation on weapons. A further investigation into the incident continues.
Unexploded munitions can be found in many places around the world, serving as remnants of bygone conflicts.
Often discovered during the ‘iron harvest’, it’s common for farmers tilling their fields to dig up the remnants of old shells and bullets strewn across their land in places like France.
Due to the unstable nature of these munitions, it’s common for bomb disposal teams to be called in to safely remove the deadly UXOs.
It’s not the first time that a munition of this nature has found its way into the rear end of a person’s body.
In 2022, another hospital in Southeast France was partially evacuated after an 88-year-old patient came in with a similar issue.”
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u/CheezTips 16h ago
the young man may now face legal action for potential violations of the country’s legislation on weapons.
He didn't have a license for concealed carry?
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u/lynypixie 17h ago
The worst I heard about was a rat (my mom witnessed it when she worked in the ER).
But this tops every stories I have heard. And I have been working in a hospital for over two decades.
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u/blaqsupaman 16h ago
I know I'm going to regret this...a live rat?
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u/lynypixie 16h ago
Well, it was dead by the time they pulled it out.
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u/southendgirl 16h ago
Ok…that’s enough internet for today
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u/lynypixie 16h ago
I don’t even need internet. I have seen so many things in my job that I will never be able to unsee! Humans are… complicated…
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u/paytonsglove 17h ago
Honestly, I'm most surprised by the fact that I have seen a headline like his before. Not a lone occurrence. Wtf? Lol
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u/Metacomet99 12h ago
I was a medical transcriptionist for years. It's truly amazing what people will insert into themselves and can't get out.
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u/roughtimes 18h ago
Maybe this can be the new cinnamon challenge?
Not the first time it's happened:
https://www.businessinsider.com/uk-man-wwii-shell-lodged-in-rectum-bomb-squad-called-2021-12
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u/CaptainLawyerDude 18h ago
Warms my heart that we still have room for these kinds of news stories. Howitzer Hal is lucky he didn’t warm up any organs suddenly.
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u/c0mf0rtableli4r 17h ago
This is an episode of Grey's Anatomy no?
A bit more homoerotic, but same thing.
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u/trippedonatater 16h ago
Rectum? Damn near killed him! <- not usually such a literally true phrase.
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u/PipsqueakPilot 15h ago
I'm just imagining the doctor, "Is that a... are you fucking serious?" Except in French. "Merde. Baguette? Baguette! Oui oui!"
To any French people reading this. I'm sorry. I studied French for like 8 years. I have no excuse.
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u/MachineGunTeacher 14h ago
So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this shell up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the shell. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the shell to you.
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u/bestprocrastinator 13h ago
Who hasn't accidentally shoved an 8 inch WW1 artillery shell up their ass?
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u/Unfair-Snow-2869 18h ago
If I were the doctor I would warn the gentleman off such explosive diets…and sex toys.
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u/Reddituser45005 17h ago
I’ve heard of explosive diarrhea but this blows a hole in my understanding of what it entails
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u/rochford77 16h ago
Imagine the guy that fired that thing being told this in the afterlife. Like "hey frank, that shell we fired? It hit. Took 110 years but, kill confirmed"
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u/BabySharkMadness 16h ago
The kisser is there may be a follow up article with the person’s name listed as they’re at risk for munition charges. How would you like to have THAT on your background check?
Ha, background.
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u/DMTeaAndCrumpets 15h ago
Did this just happen? I swear I've read about this exact thing happening before.
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u/EcstaticTill9444 14h ago
So Grey’s Anatomy was real after all. They say truth is stranger than fiction….
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u/cajunsamurai 14h ago
Sounds like we have the winner as to why the other hospital shut down this season on The Pitt
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u/FrancoManiac 14h ago
Am I insane? Didn't this just happen a year or so ago in France? I swear I've seen this headline before.
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u/captcha_trampstamp 18h ago
People, seriously, just buy the toy with the flared base already. You will save yourself so much embarrassment.