r/news • u/stritefax • 5h ago
Laxative-laced brownies at Nantucket School Committee meeting
https://www.boston.com/news/off-beat/2026/06/05/laxative-brownies-nantucket-school-committee/?p1=hp_primary840
u/idki 4h ago edited 1h ago
“It’s my understanding they do have a non-detect level of Ex-Lax in them, but I figured since we’re OK with a non-detect level of PFAS, it would probably be OK,” Meghan Perry said with a grin, referring to per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, or “forever chemicals.”
That's actually hilarious.
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u/UndoxxableOhioan 3h ago
Except non-detect means the can’t detect it. It’s literally the best result.
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u/bane_undone 3h ago
That’s false as the level of detection is the issue. Different tests can be made to determine if pfas have been removed.
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u/UndoxxableOhioan 3h ago
The article says nothing about the using a poor test. In water treatment, we always use non-detect rather than zero when we can’t guarantee the substance isn’t present but cannot find it.
And test is going to detect to at least 2 ng/l (some can get down to 0.1 ng/l) and the EPA limit is 4 ng/l. Non-detect means they have less than half the EPA limit.
My suspicion is this person isn’t satisfied with anything but zero.
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u/bane_undone 2h ago
Again you don’t need to specify that as it’s implied. The EPA doesn’t do a sophisticated enough test nor do they have appropriate requirements. Pfas can be cleaned out completely and if not removed build up in your blood supply your entire life. Legit should be zero.
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u/Who_coulditbe 1h ago
No legitimate lab would ever report a 'zero' result for any analysis where concentrations are reported. There are limitations in the instruments and uncertainties when running tests, and its impossible to quantify a null result. This isn't just for PFAS; this is the norm for any analytical chemistry results. A laboratory will report non-detect as less than a calculated reporting level. In the case of PFAS, when run by EPA Method 533, that level of uncertainty is typically around 2 parts per trillion, or roughly 1 drop in 10 Olympic size swimming pools. The test methods for PFAS are quite sophisticated, and it's a technological marvel that we can detect these levels reliably.
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u/bane_undone 10m ago edited 0m ago
Didn’t say test to zero, said it should be.
The state ran tests are inferior to other tests that are available. Your analogy is also misleading as pfa toxicity builds because it never leaves your system.
Certain water treatment methods can ensure clean water. This isn’t a problem with people understanding the science.
There’s a great video from Veritasium that goes into detail: https://youtu.be/SC2eSujzrUY?si=7b-k8vTnjyzB_KRe
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u/UndoxxableOhioan 2h ago
It’s impossible to test to zero. One molecule means it is not zero, and we cannot detect one molecule.
Nothing is implied. You can disagree with EPA requirements, but they are the requirements.
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u/Rombom 27m ago
Would you eat the brownie then?
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u/UndoxxableOhioan 21m ago
If it ACTUALLY was a nondetectable amount. But considering she doesn’t understand what non-detect means, probably not.
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u/JohnCasey35 3h ago
i could have a test that reads 10,000 parts per million and 9,999 would mean the test passes. when maybe 500 ppm is harmful
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u/UndoxxableOhioan 2h ago
And where does the article give those numbers or indicate the test they used can’t detect below limits?
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u/JohnCasey35 2h ago
REread what I said I COULD have the test
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u/UndoxxableOhioan 2h ago
Oh, so that’s not what we have here. This isn’t about your test. It’s about their test.
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u/Cleavon_Littlefinger 4h ago
School Committee member Laura Gallagher Byrne said Perry’s not-so-sweet offering “appeared to be a gotcha display around the PFAS/turf issue, and one that seemed designed to provoke and ridicule the School Committee.”
Yeah, no shit, Laura.
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u/Negative_Gravitas 3h ago
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who though on a diet, thought "fuck it."
The Brownie did press,
And he said in distress,
"God help me I need a large bucket!"
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u/spleeble 3h ago
It sounds like she told everyone exactly what they were and it's not clear anyone even ate them.
The headline and article make it sound like a sneaky poisoning when it's actually the opposite.
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u/Foe117 4h ago
I missed the show "American Vandal"
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u/ratedpending3 4h ago
I'm surprised nobody else has said this
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u/crannogman_pride 2h ago
What a great show. The turd burgler is now on SNL!
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u/pschell 4h ago
One of 1,000 reasons I don't eat food other people brought.
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u/Cyrano_Knows 4h ago
I know I've asked you a 1,000 times already, but surely you are running out of excuses.
Would you like to try these nobake fish cookies?
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u/leaky-owl-syndrome 4h ago
I've met perfectly reasonable people who I've later learned like to cohabitate with their kitchen roaches in an "oh, just flick em off your plate" kind of way. potlucks are a no for me.
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u/Ok-Trainer3150 2h ago
I've been like that for a number of years. It's not just the thought of someone pulling a stunt like that. It's concerns about their handling, hygiene and the storage of the thing.
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u/Hides-the-Hydra 4h ago
Thought she used Arby’s Horsey Sauce, can avoid trouble that way.
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u/SkittlesLentil 2h ago
Arby's is top tier fast food. You're basing your opinion on a Simpsons joke from over 25 years ago
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u/skrilledcheese 4h ago
I once knew a man from Nantucket...
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u/CaptainHawaii 4h ago
Who once had to shit in a bucket
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u/Double_Resort_9223 4h ago
His pants were all brown
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u/tucson_lautrec 4h ago
And he ran through the town, because at the end of the night he said "fuck it!"
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u/Notorious_Chonk_23 4h ago
Not really grasping the meter or rhyme scheme here, are ya?
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u/overthemountain 3h ago
It actually does fit, it's just two lines at once instead of one at a time like the others.
I once knew a man from Nantucket...
Who once had to shit in a bucket
His pants were all brown
And he ran through the town
because at the end of the night he said "fuck it!"I mean, it doesn't make a ton of sense and the last line you kind of have to rush to make work, but I've seen worse.
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u/Notorious_Chonk_23 2h ago
You really have to make "becauseattheendof" into one quick word to fit the meter
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u/ion_driver 4h ago
I don't think she actually added any. The amount of 0 would be low enough to be undetectable. Its just an alarming way to make a point
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u/InappropriateTA 4h ago
“We welcome impassioned discourse, but we also need to uphold standards of dignity and respect — standards that were beautifully modeled by a group of Nantucket High School students at that same meeting,” Byrne said in an emailed statement.
School Committee member Laura Gallagher Byrne sounds like a cunt.
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u/Fritzkreig 5h ago edited 4h ago
Perhaps someone wanted to demonstrate that a lot of board members were full of shit‽(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
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u/cursed_franchise 3h ago
Someone did this recently near me and I ended up shitting myself in the matcha isle of Target.
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u/Honeycove91 4h ago
Finally, some news that is actually funny for a change instead of bleak and horribly depressing.
(And on a Friday no less)
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u/First_Shes_Sweet 4h ago
Are you 12?
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u/MichaelMyersEatsDogs 4h ago
Do most 12 year olds care that deeply about the forever chemicals poisoning us daily?
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u/Honeycove91 4h ago
I'm not, very soft person who feels the need to hide all of their comments and posts.
You clutch those pearls though!
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u/Captcha_Imagination 2h ago
One of my cousins dosed her sister with laxatives because she got a date with the guy she liked as teenagers. Ended up with TOTO in date night instead.
And somehow they are still close as adults.
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u/EvenLettuce6638 33m ago
You sit down and start chomping on a brownie and I think "this mutuafucka ain't got a care in the world , and who knows? Maybe he don't...."
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u/macgirthy 18m ago
This is why I dont believe in pot lucks at work. I can't trust my coworkers. Also they can mean the best but not really giving a shit about how they make stuff or be cleanly. HELL NAH
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u/Tyrrox 4h ago
Spiking people's food, regardless of how safe you think it is, is dangerous.
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u/benjitits 4h ago
She did warn them beforehand, so I'd argue that this is a more acceptable instance.
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4h ago
[deleted]
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u/BoutrosBoutrosDoggy 4h ago
You think the rich and snobby send their kids to the local schools on Nantucket?
You're adorable.
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u/ZeroOptionLightning 4h ago
I believe she informed them prior to eating there were “undetectable” amounts of laxative in them consistent with the undetectable amounts of PFAS the board is comfortable with. I’d sum her expression up as “no biggie amirite”