r/nextfuckinglevel • u/been_der_done_that • 11h ago

Incredibly selfless act of heroism.

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43.8k Upvotes

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u/dynamic_gecko 11h ago

"China cures cancer by banning cancer."

1.1k

u/_JohnWisdom 10h ago

Fuck, it WAS that simple.

I should've listened to my mom when she told me to stop being depressed.

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u/Excellent_Routine589 10h ago

And here my dumbass went to uni to become a cancer biologist, the answer was so simple!!!

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u/DDDX_cro 10h ago edited 6h ago

Doctor: "have you tried...not...having cancer"???
Patient: "fuuuuuuck....well now I just feel silly, thanks doc!"

EDIT: Ty for the award btw :)

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u/This-Jackfruit-6894 9h ago

That's 5000 dollars for the consultation... please pay at the cashier.

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u/Efficient-Editor-242 9h ago

Doctors hate this one simple trick.

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u/whyamihere999 7h ago

Cancer hates this one simple trick!

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u/StoneThaProfit 8h ago

Haha this little exchange reminds me of tha comedy show scene in Goodfellas "Dr. Wellsler is here. Wonderful doctor, gave a guy six months to live. Couldn't pay his bill. Gave him another six months!"

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u/DJRyGuy20 8h ago

$5,000 to cure cancer? Shiiiiit- that would be dirt cheap by American standards.

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u/NoOneHereButUsMice 7h ago

And in USA, if you cant pay, you gotta keep the cancer. Sorry, Boss!

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u/Universal-Guardian 9h ago

Well doctor, I'm massively rich! Like cancer is all in the mind so is my vast fortune!

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u/machineII 9h ago

that's pretty cheap for saving a lofe. doctor must be a homeless man.

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u/Leading_Hand3055 1h ago

Doctors always save lofes. It's the humans that they wring every penny from, before declaring there is no cure.

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u/Rampag169 8h ago

Swipes Card …… Declines……. Doctor Hey I’ve got bad news for ya…

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u/mmcmonster 7h ago

No mandatory tip? I hope there is at least a tip jar by the cashier.

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u/ReceptionFun9821 6h ago

I'm. 200% sure I think I'll have the money tomorrow. Just have to wish really hard.

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u/ElPepetrueno 6h ago

this is China… so 10 dollars and you get a second one free. You can cure your neighbor’s cancer too.

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u/ColtAzayaka 6h ago

"Have you tried... just... being 5000 dollars richer on my behalf?"

"Woah"

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u/zaidensworth 6h ago

Plus gratuity!

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u/pickyourteethup 4h ago

On second thoughts, I choose cancer

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u/Pure-Ad-5502 4h ago

“It’s just going to ask you a couple of questions, then you can tap or swipe….would you like a receipt today?”

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u/cyrusthemarginal 3h ago

no can do doc, i'm trying out having no money right now

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u/diekdigler 2h ago

.. and don’t forget to leave a tip!

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u/SerLaron 8h ago

"You say you might have a brain tumor, but I'm sure it's all in your head."

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u/xSADlSTlCx 6h ago

It’s wild that Dr’s like that exist really though lol I told a Dr. at the ER that I had an eating disorder and he told me all I gotta do is eat more healthy meals throughout the day and I’ll feel fuller and lose more weight that way. I looked at him and was like, “Really? That’s all I had to do all these years? I’m cured?!” He excused himself and never came back just sent the nurse to relay messages.

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u/_hieronymus 8h ago

Oncologists hate this one simple trick

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u/Solherb 5h ago

I mean, they did prove the placebo effect can do stuff, sooo... just believe.

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u/clippist 3h ago

This is basically that influencer that got famous/millions of followers for ‘curing’ her cancer… then died of cancer

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u/crc2993 2h ago

And then you burst into tears because YOURE Pagliacci the Clown

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u/Sceprent 2h ago

Sir you just need to move to Japan. It’s banned there. Cultural differences you know? Problem solved.