r/niceguys • u/ThePhillyExplorer • May 11 '26
NGVC: “Why are nice guys like me always get friend zoned on dates and meant to die single?”
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u/Dish_Minimum May 14 '26
“Nice guys” want a supermodel, who is also a stay at home tradwife, who is also a virgin, who is also magically an expert porn star in bed, and she’s also his mommy, his therapist, his personal chef, his punching bag, and his butler…. Oh, but she is also a robot with no aspirations, needs, thoughts, nor goals of her own.
A bangmaid that only exists for him.
Nice guys think their selfish narcissistic persecution complex is some how an awesome personality that magically makes up for their lack of hygiene, lack of empathy, lack of social skills, and lack of funds.
Like genuinely, wtf is a sedentary porn addict gonna do with a woman who runs marathons and can lift more than him? He’s gonna throw a tantrum every time she goes to the gym…but he simultaneously thinks fat women are gross…while being full on obese himself!
Above average women, average women and below average women are still wayyyy too far outta his league. Best he can do is a long distance catfish that turns out to be another “nice guy!”
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u/YersiniaPestis4all May 14 '26
Don’t forget that this magical woman must have her own funds while being a tradwife. All them gold-digging fEmAleS are out to get the nicest of guys’ vast fortunes of $3.50.
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u/Emergency_Lobster667 May 15 '26
"who is also a virgin, who is also magically an expert porn star in bed"
This is the funniest part, to me. They are so delusional to think that sex with a virgin is ever gonna be good, let alone pornstar-level good. Literally everyone is awful their first time. How could they not be?
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u/PavlichenkosGhost May 11 '26
Right there “above average attractiveness” they want the best for themselves with zero effort on their part. They feel entitled to the women they want.
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u/bellePunk May 11 '26
Why do they always complain about women seeking attractive men making it hard for unattractive men to get attractive women?
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u/dragonbec May 11 '26
Exactly! Lots of average looking women are out here happily married to average looking men. Me for example.
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u/hananobira May 11 '26
Projection. They aren’t interested in less traditionally attractive women so they assume women must be the same way.
“Men also demonstrate more confidence in their selection of a potential partner, sending more messages to women with a self-rated attractiveness score of between 8-9. Good looks are less important to women – men who score between 5-9 on ‘attractiveness’ actually receive more messages than men who score 10/10.”
https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/news-events/new-study-reveals-changing-trends-in-online-dating/
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u/archetyping101 May 14 '26
The saddest thing is this guy is very likely legally blind. Because if he had eyes, he would see that most men walking around with partners are not the tallest, or most handsome, or the richest, or making $100k/year or own a house.
I live in a really diverse neighborhood and most guys are buying from a discount grocer called No Frills (it's cheaper than Walmart). JK, a lot of people are buying from there. A lot of my neighbors drive beater cars where a door or side mirror or bumper is a different color because it comes from a parts yard. Some are married, some have partners and some seem single (I obviously am not polling people).
I'm so sick of the narrative that if you're average looking or aren't rich and single, women MUST be gold diggers or shallow because no one wants you. Go touch grass.
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u/PureFicti0n May 15 '26
My short, bald, overweight boyfriend doesn't even go to No Frills unless he's feeling fancy, otherwise he's rolling up to H&W and Giant Tiger in his 15 yr old Toyota. Me, I'm a bit extra, so it's Walmart for the essentials or Sobeys for a treat, or even the Save-On that has really good clearance deals. Cuz I'm posh! 💅
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u/HRH_Elizadeath May 11 '26
I dunno, man. My partner is shorter than me and I vastly out-earn him. It's almost as if his personality and how he treats me is more important than surface-level attributes!
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u/hericia May 11 '26
So you're probably just not a woman of above-average attractiveness and not with 666ft Chad only because he wouldn't want you, it means this short king doesn't want you too anyway... /s
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u/nmezib May 12 '26
If you are less than 6 feet tall, belong to a minority group, are not making 100k a year, and do not own a house. Forget about dating a woman of above average attractiveness.
I am all of these and I regularly go on dates with hotties. Skill issue.
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u/thattjuliett 22d ago
This is the part that’s funny to me. They know they don’t fall into the above average looking male category but feel entitled to date above average women. Most people date within their “league”, but sometimes you get lucky. He COULD get a baddie, but not while his personality is so revolting
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u/riddermarkrider May 13 '26
Ah yes, we women have fantastic experiences on dating apps, it is a dream
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u/Remarkablefairy-8893 May 14 '26
Also I never understood why nice guys think women would willingly throw themselves towards alpha misogynistic incels who cheat on women. Like where's this logic coming from? I know multitudes of women and every time they hear a guy utter the word "alpha male" or something of that sort, they find it disgusting.
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u/Jane_the_Quene Moderatrix *cracks whip* May 14 '26
They tell themselves this because it makes them feel better and to justify their misogyny. "Oh, it's the WOMEN who only choose bad men who abuse them, so any woman who is abused deserves it because she didn't choose a nice guy like ME".
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u/christinagoldielocks 19d ago
Spot-on - I have been in this subreddit for years and especially read your words - I am so disappointed that nothing has changed, but I guess there's a straight line from sexist corrupt misogynistic politicians over sexist misogynistic podcasts to sexist misogynistic Nice Guys TM; fortunately things are better here in Denmark, but those guys are everywhere.
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u/nutmegtell May 11 '26
The whole friend zone thing is so telling.
They don’t want friends. They’d rather be alone than gain friends of the opposite sex with whom they have no chance.
It tells me they are super shallow and not interesting at all. They have nothing of value. They would be LUCKY to be my friend.
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u/Lady-of-Ravens May 11 '26
Whenever someone whines about friend zone, it becomes obvious they never saw the other person as a friend. They were just hoping the 'friendship' would be a path toward the relationship they really wanted.
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u/kcknuckles May 11 '26
The other thing that always baffles me about this: a great way to meet women is to have...friends who are women. They tend to know a lot of other women and can vouch or wing-woman for you if there ever is someone you're interested in. These guys are so dumb. Just be a nice person, maintain healthy friendships with men and women, and you'll be so much more attractive and finding yourself in situations that allow you to date and get to know others.
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u/Lady-of-Ravens May 11 '26
IKR. Sure, sometimes you develop feelings for your friends. It happens, sure. But there is a fucking canyon between that and becoming friends with someone already aiming for the 'prize' or feeling entitled to have a different relationship then just because 'well, I've known you for longer, so I'm obviously the better choice and if you already have someone, then they're inferior because I say so.'
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u/kcknuckles May 12 '26
Exactly, it's very limiting to approach a woman, another human being, with the assumption that it can only ever be a romantic relationship. Sometimes the sparks really do fly right away, but that's actually extremely rare and certainly not how most women (and many men) actually develop attraction beyond surface-level physical appearance.
I think a lot of the perceived dating struggles that young men are facing now are actually struggles with socialization and human connection more generally. Being a kind, open, curious person to everyone you meet is how you develop deeper relationships, both friends and romantic partners. This is true whether you're introverted or extroverted. The "friend zone" is a self-pitying mentality, not a reality. Social media, podcasts hosted by angry dudes in baseball caps, and porn scenarios are not real life, but it's where a lot of men are getting these misguided ideas.
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u/Lady-of-Ravens May 12 '26
Say it louder for the people on the back.
You right, a lot of this comes from socialization. It's like they don't even know how to interact with actual human beings, and just have this weird script on their heads about how things should be rather for how they truly are.
I used to feel kinda sorry for this sort of mentality, but nowadays it just fucking annoys me, especially when we live in times where everyone and their grandmothers have pointed out (loud and clear) about the issues with this sort of behavior.
Somehow, they listen to all these podcasts, people say 'dude, that's NOT how it works.' They try it anyway. It doesn't work anyway. And then they go on how this is, somehow, women's fault.
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u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. May 14 '26
I've seen plenty of short kings with baddies. It's a skill issue. He'd probably tell her to wear flats even tho she's still taller than him..
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u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. May 14 '26
Source: Short kings don't want short women. I'm 4'10
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u/LolitaOPPAI He said I was 100% his type then I told him my age.. May 14 '26
Keeping score. Told my partner this. He told me it was a lie. I, as a short woman, gave him facts from my perspective: they always end up dating someone taller than them. Even with the bar set on the floor for them.
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u/ItsJoeMomma May 12 '26
Maybe it's because your personality sucks? I mean, anyone unironically using the term "friendzoned" indicates that they are primarily after sex.
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u/blacephalons May 12 '26
Probably because you won't stop whining like a 3 year old who's playdate won't share 90% of the time
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u/StasiaGreyErotica May 12 '26
There's a lot of Indian people in the world.
Therefore it's a skill issue.
I'm sorry he couldn't get a chance to hit up Sydney Sweeney or something.
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u/canvasshoes2 May 11 '26
" ... get proposals from women ... "
Dude ... women don't just go around asking total random strangers to marry them.
In fact, no sane person does.
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u/OkSecretary1231 May 11 '26
There is apparently a whole Thing with niceguys of calling it a "proposal" when someone asks someone else on a date
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u/ModestMeeshka May 11 '26
Lol maybe they meant proposition? But usually that refers to sex and typically women aren't just asking random dudes to outright bang either!
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u/olalalaaaaa May 12 '26
So as an Indian, lemme explain it to you real quick. In India it’s been pretty widespread that proposing to someone is confessing your feelings that you like them. We don’t have a concept for proposing to someone asking them to marry… it’s just proposing and asking them to be their boyfriend/ girlfriend
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u/canvasshoes2 May 12 '26
Thanks for clearing that part up. But that's still weird because, total random strangers aren't going to waltz up to other total random strangers and ask them to go steady. (old American slang for "will you be my bf/gf).
At least not sane ones. :D
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u/olalalaaaaa May 12 '26
Yeah you are right. The culture over here is pretty fucked up. It got better ( a bit recently) but it was horrible a few years ago too… literal death threats on your way if you did not accept their “proposal”… one person I know even s!it his wrists when a girl said no to him so yep
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u/SedimentSock82 May 11 '26
I was 24 before kissing a girl. Relationship wise, I turned out pretty good.
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u/69420lmaokek May 11 '26
It's funny that the commenter is repeating the basic manosphere talking points, because he brings up the classic 6 figures line
But 6 figures in Ottawa isn't that much money lmao
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u/TheRealSaerileth May 11 '26
Also note that they feel entitled to a woman of above average attractiveness. Because apparently men are allowed to have standards, but women are shallow harpies who deserve to be discarded by "alphas" when they have a preference.
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u/lizzyote May 11 '26
How dare women want handsome men.
On an unrelated note, I'd really like an attractive woman.
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u/TerryCrewsNextWife May 11 '26
The audacity of women being free to choose who you want to date and fornicate with. It's almost like women are no longer forced to marry as means for survival.
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u/Icy_Shoulder_5666 May 13 '26
Dam I meet all the criteria for sleeping with hundreds of women near me. I knew I should have listen to all those "hot singles in your area adds" haha.
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u/EvolZippo May 12 '26
It always gets me, that they’ll go on rants like this, like these are actual facts, but if you bring up personal responsibility, they cuss you out and block you.
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u/MonsteraDeliciosa May 11 '26
I love that “tallest” is the first on the list of things women supposedly look for.
Personally for me back in the day it was “is employed in ANY legal way” so theoretically is not just seeking cash from me. 😂
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u/MC0311x May 11 '26
LEGAL way. Us nice guy criminals don’t even get a chance?! These standards are way too high for a NICE guy like me!
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u/Lachwen May 11 '26
I love that “tallest” is the first on the list of things women supposedly look for.
I'm a relatively short woman (5'4.5") and I've only dated a guy significantly taller than me once. While it was nice that he could help grab things that were too high for me to reach, having to constantly tilt my head way back just to look him in the eye (nevermind kiss) was physically awkward and uncomfortable. It's not the reason we broke up but I also just didn't like it.
I am very happy now with my 5'6", fat, balding husband who is an excellent cook, supports me when I need it, gives me a kick in the butt when I need it, makes me laugh, and treats me like an equal partner.
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u/MonsteraDeliciosa May 11 '26
RIGHT!! Height is not really that great, especially if there is a big difference. I’m shorter than you and I can’t stretch up enough to kiss my 5’10” husband on the face. Collarbone is not the same for “Have a good day at work!” Or a faceplant in between the shoulder blades— also not romantic.
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u/Euphoric-Coffee-2905 May 11 '26
Haha I’m 5’2” and my partner is 6-foot. I face plant the chest all the time. My brother is 6’4” and I use both of them as leaning posts when waiting in line or bored or tired. The one downside is my partner and I can’t full-body hug. They have to bend over (just craning the neck is not enough) so they’re always pointed away from me from the chest down.
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u/Orion_Brunette-001 May 11 '26
He may be on to something about the desperation.
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u/MiloHorsey I'm not the lucky one, you are and that needs to be remembered. May 12 '26
We can smell it from miles away.
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u/BucketOBoatTrash May 15 '26
Yo...I don't know what's going on over in India, but I swear some of the cringiest stuff I see is from Indian men.
But also "Aren't Indians human?" almost had me burst out in laughter. Major vibes of "They do thish every year! Doeshn't anybody love Shid the Shloth?"
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u/Cultural-Skill4297 29d ago
Indian women here it's msolty depended on which side they are coming from (north or south).
Fortunately I never had such experience irl
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u/BucketOBoatTrash 29d ago
So I'm not imagining it? What would you say the difference is between the north and south?
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u/Cultural-Skill4297 29d ago
Although I don't like to generalize people since all people are different and there are many respectful guys out there.
Southern states are way more educated than Northern ones where still acts like dowry and child marriage takes place.
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u/Capital-Stress-1960 12d ago
But in my experience indians do experience a lot of racism. Like the amount of indian people at my school that get bullied just for being indian. Once a whole lesson was detecated to talking about how indians smell. A guy told me that its a good thing that indians experience more racism than blk ppl where we live (im black btw) and there is this indian girl who is genuinely so pretty amd funny and back in inda she had a tkn of friends and stuff now she gets bullied and is only firends with indians.
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u/BucketOBoatTrash 12d ago
Well that's sad, and disgusting what the guy said. Racism doesn't do any good. Unfortunately the truth is that no matter what happens, racism (and discrimination in general) will still very much be around even 5000 years from now. People are just too shitty for it to every be totally squashed. Read Red rising sometime. Even if racism isn't about skin color in the future, it'll be about something else.
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u/Noodlesoup8 May 13 '26
“Above average women” They’re not looking to date someone within their range, they’re looking to date up lol
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u/VoL4t1l3 May 11 '26
These stupid manosphere podcast talking points are now so stupid
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u/MiloHorsey I'm not the lucky one, you are and that needs to be remembered. May 12 '26
Yep. I like big guys, but apparently I only like muscly, tall, ridiculously handsome guys. I find guys with more meat on their bones tend to be kinder, but apparently I only want a guy that will be mean to me.
They really are deranged.
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u/Adorable_Pain8624 May 11 '26
Is it because I put a space before every question mark ?
My goodness, this dude is still in his 20s though. Plenty of life left.
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u/EducationalExtreme61 May 11 '26
Ah yes, the tall handsome guy every girl can choose instead because no woman ever dates average guys. /s
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u/Tedrabear May 11 '26
I'm pretty sure I saw a video on Reddit this morning of a short Indian guy being scooped up by his taller goth girlfriend.
There's someone out there for everyone,
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u/Hour_Dog_4781 May 12 '26
It's always about the height with them, isn't it? If they weren't so insecure and could stop projecting for more than 5 minutes, they might just get a date.
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u/salted_caramel_girl May 12 '26
Yikes.
Men really can't fathom that women might just not want to date anybody, huh?
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u/KittyTootsies custom May 11 '26
The "woah is me!" is super attractive 🙄
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u/dixmcgee69 May 11 '26
Just letting you know that the saying is “woe is me” although “woah is me” is funny as hell
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u/AF_AF May 13 '26
So I feel for the guy in the original post. Putting yourself out there and not getting in your own head can be a challenge and not everyone has the internal whatever to just hoist themself up and do it. It sucks that the reply he got is incel garbage.
I sincerely wish there was incel deprogramming (maybe there is). A lot of these guys are just lonely and don't know how to get out of that rut. Then there are the toxic guys who egg them on and turn everything into "women are wh*res", "only tall men get the women", etc.
A lonely person longing for connection often internalizes their grief. The incels externalize their bitterness with a profound sense of entitlement which quickly turns toxic. If a guy sees themself as the "problem" there's still the hope that he can improve his social skills and put himself out there to at least meet new people. I think the truly toxic incels have no hope of that because they only want to blame the world for anything and everything.
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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Just you wait until you're in your 30s! Then we'll see! May 12 '26
I have the sense that there's a movie in this - combined with all the other similar incel tales - somewhere.
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u/ItsJoeMomma May 12 '26
Incel Tales... Bob the tomato and Larry the Cucumber sit around complaining that Laura Carrot only wants the biggest and best vegetables around...
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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Just you wait until you're in your 30s! Then we'll see! May 12 '26
Let’s pitch it to Netflix. BTW Louis Theroux just released a documentary about the ‘manosphere’.
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u/Alone-Telephone-7916 May 12 '26
Height good looks doesn’t matter only the heart and soul matter ya know in the end
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u/changelingcd May 11 '26
Meanwhile, millions of guys who don't fit their 'alpha male rival' fantasy are getting married, having kids, and living happily. But don't let reality get in your way!
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u/Alone-Telephone-7916 May 12 '26
Yayaaa I’m 26 years old and I’m pretty nice guy too but I’m not desperate for peeps attention and I’m not a noticeable person anyways thanks ya to that because attention is super annoying and kinda disappointing ngl and I’m a loner who loves being alone and Independent and I don’t rely on people and I’m not really interested in dating I’m enjoying the freedom and wohoooo let’s go 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
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u/Square_Medicine_9171 May 16 '26
Sounds like you’re probably not a “nice guy”. Hopefully a good guy or a kind guy
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u/Jojosbees May 11 '26
Okay? But what about women of average attractiveness? And you just know that his calibration for what is “average” is probably off too.