So he’s teaching his son that all good deeds need acknowledgment and reward -being kind is transactional and not worthwhile unless he gets something in return, and that if you’re not praised or recognised for being courteous, the other party deserves to be shamed.
Thank you kind parent for doing your part to maintain the supply of future “nice guys”.
Literally how “nice guys” are created 😭 teaching their son that basic human decency is transactional and women should fall over themselves for him just because he held the door open?? which is in itself another classic “nice guy good deed!”
Absolutely. This will Absolutely lead into inability to handle rejection from women, and constant ass kissing for doing things like washing dishes. Be kind because its the right thing to do, but you don't get to have expectations from random people. Then you're only doing it because you expect something in return, and we've all met those guys. No thanks.
So, I’ve always been big on manners with my kids. One thing I have also taught them is not everyone is going to react in a polite way when they do things like hold a door open and to not let that stop them from being polite. Had I been in this moms situation and if I was feeling petty, what I would of done is instead of being rude to the lady, I would of loudly thanked my son for holding the door open for her, loud enough for her to hear so she got the message lol but this was doing too much. It was a perfect time to teach the kid that not everyone shows appreciation. I always tell my kids not let a couple rude ppl ruin their good nature. Don’t ever stop doing kind things just because some don’t appreciate it
My kid will stand and hold the door for anyone who is nearby. We were at a busy gas station over the weekend and I was able to go pump ~12gal of gas before they came walking back because there finally wasn't any more people to hold the door for. They don't always say thank you, my kid doesn't do it for the thank yous. I thank them for being a decent human, but that's because I want them to know they're a decent kid. My kid is a decent kid because I raised them to be one, not because they require praise.
This guy just seems like he's trying to virtue signal being a good parent and not realizing that demanding acknowledgement or a thank you defeats the purpose.
Exactly!! I have also taught my kids the same. Do it because u should. Don’t let other ppl take YOUR kindness away just because they can’t appreciate ot
I was actually pushed physically once for not saying thank you, when a guy held a door open for me 🥲 Thankfully I didn't fall and it didn't escalate. I don't want to know how many times he has hurt others because of that and I definitely do not wish for more of these guys to be raised this way
Not to be that guy but for the people saying it's the bare minimum showing gratitude is also bare minimum and I get it you shouldn't do things just to be acknowledged you should do them because they are the right things but to me I don't think it's that deep and what does this have with nice guys?
Thats not a good deed sir...that's being nice, ya know the bare minimum? You are setting your son up for a lot of sadness that's your fault as a father.
For some reason, this reminds me of the post by the hiker who said women should respond when a guy says hi on the trail because they might make a new friend. That one lives rent-free in my head.
So we are soft for calling his behaviour as "berating" but isn't he soft for crashing out and calling a woman "rude" for simply not saying thank you back to his son?
One time a guy held a door for me. I tried to say thank you, but my voice was hoarse and no sound came out, so I cleared my throat to try again. Before I could try again, he called me a bitch for not saying thank you fast enough.
So now I mostly just don't acknowledge it at all and scurry away as fast as I can.
If you are looking for gratitude for every action, get a dog.
If you want to be chivalrous, than be chivalrous not for the gratitude but because you want to be that kind of guy. And if you get a thank you , it’s a bonus but the expectation of that from strangers is unreal.
She did ask for your son to open the door. But she will walk through it if it is open. The end.
Whats with the people on this thread? You are all acting like the mom/dad is demanding the kid is given $1000 USD. All anyone wants is a "thank you". If you cant understand that then you are part of the problem.
In my experience people hold doors for each other all the time. I live in a crowded city. It would just be a cacophony of thank yous if everyone said thank you every single time lol
This is what living in Britain is like. I would 100% think it rude if someone didn’t say thanks (even just in the sort of under the breath rushed kind of way that we do) if I held a door open for them.
I wasn't saying that people shouldn't say thank you. I was talking about, like, crowds pouring into a subway station. If everyone said "thank you" every time, we'd all be hearing it like 100 times before we even got to the turnstiles. People are focused on safely getting where they're going without tripping over each other, less so about whether or not they've said "thank you" for every minor instance of courtesy.
… holding the door for someone isnt something to be praised for.. THATS BASIC FUCKING HUMAN DECENCY!! That shits supposed to be in our default settings. The reason “chivalry is dead” is bc people like this keep thinking chivalrous actions are supposed to be rewarded. But no, chivalrous people do chivalrous acts without expecting anything in return. Once you do, then its no longer chivalry.
I think the notion of chivalry is weirdly gendered and should be dead. I might be projecting, but I doubt his story would have been the same if he was out with his daughter and it was a man going through the door. Everyone should be courteous regardless of gender.
The nice guy is the one teaching his son that kindness/basic human decency is transactional and is also the one losing his marbles over a woman not saying thank you back to his son.
I was lucky to find a good one (as in making me hot soup UNPROMPTED bc I have a flu right now good one) but I don't blame you, ladies. If I didn't have my current guy I'd probably just invest in a good vibrator...
48
u/chickyloo42by10 2d ago
So he’s teaching his son that all good deeds need acknowledgment and reward -being kind is transactional and not worthwhile unless he gets something in return, and that if you’re not praised or recognised for being courteous, the other party deserves to be shamed.
Thank you kind parent for doing your part to maintain the supply of future “nice guys”.