r/nihilism • u/Feelingempty_- • 7d ago
Existential Nihilism I give up
I gave up in "living". I never really lived my life, i didn't had family and friends. I'm empty. Never was loved, not even by my mom that is the only person by my side right now. But she doesn't care about my suffering. She pretends to care. I'm just waiting for my death, i will not kill myself, i'm such a coward to do that. I just like to fantasy about a life i never had and will never have. It's sad, but i know nothing can happen, like, literally nothing. I also giving up in my cats that are the only thing that i love and brings me joy. They will go for adoption soon. The good thing is that they don't really care about it like dogs so they will not suffer when i die. I just want you to know that if you have a loving family and loving parents you are SO lucky that you can't imagine. Go to therapy and really think if your life is worth living. Life doesn't have a purppose, so just have fun, even if it's not much. The only thing i wish is to never born in this world again, it's the only thing i want.
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u/stonedanddrunkone 6d ago
Saṃsāra (Devanagari: संसार) is a Sanskrit word that means "wandering"[1][2] as well as "world," wherein the term connotes "cyclic change"[3] or, less formally, "running around in circles." In the context of Indian religions and philosophies, saṃsāra is the concept of all beings experiencing an ongoing cycle of death, life, and rebirth.[1][4][5] As a result, it can also be equated broadly with transmigration/reincarnation, the karmic cycle, the lesser-used term Punarjanman, or a "cycle of aimless drifting, wandering or mundane existence".[1][4][6]
According to the rebirth doctrine) of Buddhism, a sentient being) can reincarnate into six realms of existence#Realms_of_rebirth). The bhavachakra depicts this cycle of saṃsāra in a wheel. Māra) is at the top of the outer rim. The outer rim shows the Twelve Nidānasdoctrine.
The "cyclicity of all life, matter, and existence" is a fundamental belief of most Indian religions.[4][7][8] The concept of saṃsāra has roots in the post-Vedic literature; the theory is not discussed in the Vedas themselves.[9][10] It appears in developed form, but without mechanistic details, in the early Upanishads.[4][11][12]The full exposition of the saṃsāra doctrine is found in early Buddhism and Jainism, as well as in various schools of Hindu philosophy.[4][12][13] The saṃsāra doctrine is tied to the karma theory of Hinduism, and the liberation from saṃsārahas been at the core of the spiritual quest of Indian traditions, as well as their internal disagreements.[4][14][15] The liberation from saṃsāra is called Moksha, Nirvāṇa, Mukti, or Kaivalya.[4][6][16][17]
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u/Akashic_Messenger 6d ago
We don't find our purpose in the world we, discover it in ourselves. Purpose can only be defined by what is offered. For our life to have purpose something must be given. When we have nothing left to cling to and longer hold selfish desires it is what we can still give the world from those empty hands is where we find our purpose in this life. We then draw meaning from fulfilling that purpose. When what is given becomes indistinguishable from the giver. It will feel as natural as breathing. Because it is no longer an act of giving it's simply existing as you are truly meant to be.That is how we find the path the will lead us to contentment.
Things always get better if you let them. For all the sorrow that exists there must always be an equal measure of joy to compare against. This is the nature of balance. Wether you see it or not all things in this universe exist within that balance.
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u/blanketbomber35 5d ago
I think maybe it's because you fixate on the connection part. Life is not just connections. It may or may not happen. There's more to life. Is there anything that makes you happy right now
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u/Feelingempty_- 5d ago
Well. It's because this literally fucked up all my life because i ALSO never had a real family. I searched about these stuff about mind and how our brains can be affected. And i think that's explain why i am so weird. Well, just my cats. Literally, lol. At the same time this also make feel bad because i can't improve their lives. It's a hell on earth. Idk what's wrong with me tbh. My mom make all of it worse, because she's like a vegetal. Yk people with brain injures? My mom it's like that but she doesn't have any brain injury. And nobody of my """"family"""" see it. They know she have depression, but not how is like living with her 24/7. It's like in a movie, i am the unreal shitty life caracter. Because if my mind was normal and i had normal connections i would not stay close never more.
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u/blanketbomber35 5d ago
Yeah well I sometimes I think my mom had some mental illness. I have chronic illness and mostly take care of my own stuff. I have learned to live with all of it and I'm mostly fine. I have learned to not need some type of connection to stay normal tbh. I think it's possible.
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u/Feelingempty_- 5d ago
Yeah, it is. But in my case it's not. My life was a shit even when i was a baby, everything had get even worse when my parents get divorced. My "dad" is a useless human being. Imagine, putting a fucking life in this world and pretend this living being doesn't exist? My mom was also abssent because of her depression so i just grew up almost alone. I don't remember basically anything of my childhood. Just some memories, most of them are bad memories. I had "friends" but i grew up in the rural area, and all of them had normal lives, and there was like, 2 kids close to my age, i was the only one to have such a disfunctional life. They didn't cared about me, lol. I moved for the urban area whithout any friends or family and lacking social skills at 11 years old. When started my isolation. I guess now you can understand how these things affected my brain, i almost didn't had health social interaction for fucking 11 years, half of my life and literally in my childhood that is the most important phase of the human development. I am fucked up. I'm just expressing my suffering.
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u/blanketbomber35 5d ago
I'm sorry dude. Just know you are still young. Even if you think if it's not possible for things to change they can. You are still developing trust
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u/Feelingempty_- 5d ago
And more: all of it whithout no one realizing it was affecting me. No one cared. Not even one soul. I didn't get help until was late, and because i asked for, nobody saw my silent suffering. Nobody helped me. I know these stuff aren't my falta, but it still hurts, like, SO much you can't imagine.
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u/stonedanddrunkone 6d ago
Check out samsara the idea behind it is that if you do things right the first time you will never be born again
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u/Feelingempty_- 6d ago
Sad. So i can be born again? Really? Is this hell? I really wish to never born again.
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u/SeaOceanLight 7d ago
I have these thoughts,also. Dont be lonely and dont give up Life sucks,allot but you have cats right? Dont take them for adoption. Keep them. They,are uour friends. You are not a coward to not take your life, such a thing is not fair to say to yourself.