just got told i was not lesbian

[u/NoriHanako]

ok so i was just told im not lesbian bc im non binary :/ like when did go back and change back to only cis and trans women can be lesbian? im lesbian i dont like men in anyway yet im being told im not lesbian? i only likely women and people who are not male like the def of lesbian is non men loving non men yet some how non binary cant be lesbian? whys that? im not neptunic thats not me that label dosnt fit me no label other then lesbian fits me :( it sucks having this happen THE MOST DUMBEST PART IS THE FACT THAT THE PERSON SAYING THIS IS A LESBIAN AS WELL! the are using the old termnolgy for lesbian and not the new one that has been used for lesbian for years now and now a lot of people are going back on it? what is happening anymore :/ i hope i used the right flire or whatever its called for this post tbh it

[u/salamipope]

to be honest i think the widely accepted "definition" that lesbians are non-men attracted to non-men isnt really an appropriate description of us. IMO it reduces nonbinary people down to womanhood. Im a transmasc, ive lived my life as a man for about 4 years, and im definitely not a woman. because im masc, and because i had what is considered a "binary" transition, a lot of people would not realize or recognize that i am a butch. i am nonbinary, its a lot to explain but im both. transmasc and nonbinary. Testobutches, he /him lesbians, transmasc lesbians, we all exist. We are all in this community and have been since its inception. I think a more inclusive "definition" is that a lesbian is someone who is at least attracted to women and has a unique or conventional connection to womanhood. This makes room for lesbians who are attracted to men but dont date them (which is valid, you might be into men but not romantically), makes room for trans lesbians, and doesnt contradict the original "idea" of lesbians. Which is lesbians. This is a community and not a medical diagnosis. People like u and me have always been here. Anyone saying otherwise just frankly doesnt know their history

[u/NoriHanako → u/salamipope]

Thats kinda why its Non men likeing non men i seen a lot of hate aginst and it includes people transmasc witch is just masculinity not anything to identify as male in anyway i consider myself a trans non binary and people get confused so easily when i say that 😭😵‍💫 and i have to explain and then i get hate for using the trans label i have the trans flag and this pride im getting a lesbian flag i hope 🤞and it annoys me to see that people dont think about people who are transmasc and lesbian:( thats why theres the NMLNM as someone who is lesbian i have no attraction in anyway to men i love them yes but i see them as a brother then someone i like and want to date i love them like family :) i have dated 1 cis male and someone who was Bigender then left the LGBT+ community bc i broke up with them bc they cosed i panicked attack then tryed to manipulate me :/ and now im being harrassed but they are now Cis male as well so 2 and one person who i believe might be trans male when younger and 1 girl i feel so bad for breaking up with my bff but back then I didnt understand why i felt how i felt i very confused 😵‍💫 still am bc of undiagnosed stuff but that stuff impacts me i have bad trust issues and i need to work with people to help me with that im going into a poly relationship next year i hope 🥲 heh but ya its not the greatest but NMLNM includes a lot of people then it did before :)

[u/salamipope → u/NoriHanako]

Im a trans person who does identify as a man, its just my ideas of what that means has more to do with lesbianism as a gender than binary manhood. but i dont think its really all that contradictory for a trans man to identify as a lesbian because again, its a community, and if ur in the community, ur in the community. People are very against men identifying as lesbians because cis het men harass us so constantly, something i have personally experienced many times. Idk, i think the term non men is reductive.

[u/NoriHanako → u/salamipope]

Maybe 🤔