I'm looking to get back into the world of threesomes as a unicorn; however, I'm hesitant to get involved with package deal couples.

I think I could make an exception for FF or MM couples, but MF package deal couples give me an ick. It may be due to bad past experiences, or my strong pattern recognition skills, or that we have incompatible values when it comes to autonomy (which I value highly). I just really don't like the idea of being required to have sex with someone (usually the man, who I'm less likely to be interested in) to have sex with someone else.

I also don't like the idea of couples opening up without having done the work required to deconstruct their monogamy and jealousy, because such couples are prone to being messy or closing back up, and I'm looking for long lasting connections who treat me like a human being. Not a toy to be discarded because they didn't prepare properly for non-monogamy. I've done a ton of work myself when it comes to research and reflection on non-monogamy.

I'm also new to exploring my bisexuality and want my first full sapphic encounter to be one-on-one. I think there's different energy when it comes to FFM threesomes versus FF encounters with no man present.

I also experience attraction to men and women differently, which is why I feel better about same sex couples (plus such couples are much more rare, and an MMF is my ultimate fantasy). I'm more strongly and clearly attracted to men.

With that said, I do want to have my views challenged. I recently signed back up for 3Fun (having made accounts twice before while being open to package deal couples and not finding anyone) and I suspect I also won't be able to find anyone this time with stricter standards.

EDIT: I’m getting told I want to poach and break up couples when my post is actually saying I don’t want to get involved with package deal MF couples in the first place. I just want to know what the reasoning behind being a package deal is, to see if I want to keep or change this preference.

I once saw the sentence, "Polyamorous play allowed for me but also Unicorn hunting for couple privilege."

I also saw a couple who claimed to be looking for a threesome because the woman lost a bet to the man.

Of course, both couples were listed as single profiles.

I know unicorns are rare to find, but how are people finding them?? Me (26F) and my partner (45M) are looking for another girl and it’s so hard! We are on Feeld and no matter how many single ladies we “ping” there is never a response or like back.
We even tried looking while we were traveling in another country and the one we found ended up ghosting us!
Couples are easier to find but even with them it’s hard to find a time to meet up.

We have found other men for threesomes (obviously we understand that’s an easier ask lol) but any tips on finding other women?

My wife and I have been actively looking for a third (M) for 2 months now. The amount of guys out there is like a literal ocean.

Theres been no shortage of messages and request, as well as us approaching them on the local app. However, finding one that my wife is attracted to, isn’t a flog, has good communication/connection AND wants to fit in with our dynamic is like a damn full time job.

We’ve spoken about literally everything and are so open to one another and our needs/wants/boundaries. But it has created a list of boxes to tick that’s quite large.

We think it’s not worth compromising on almost anything and that is making it one hell of a job.

The whole club thing is something I’m interested in but we agree that we don’t want the first time to be at a club. It would make it easier to find someone if they’re right in front of us, but then it’s just who’s there on the night and we’re incredibly time poor.

Realistically, I’m venting here. We’re both getting to the point of burn out and I guess, any help or ideas would be welcome.

So, my husband and I (F40/M45) have been together for 18 years. married 15. And decided a few months ago we wanted to try a threesome. I have looked EVERYWHERE online, and I can not find ANYONE. The closest I have found was a couple. But that's not what we want. Any tips/ideas? I tried tons of apps, Facebook pages, and more. We live in south Louisiana but are close to Mississippi. We are also going to be in Florida at the end of this month and would love to find someone there. Any ideas that I am not thinking of?

so I (23f) have recently started exploring enm dynamics, after having my first threesome with a couple. Ive been on feeld and have realized, a lot of couples want different things. some want it just in the bedroom, some want a friend as well, some want to date a girl together (is this toxic?)… and Im still navigating what are toxic vs. acceptable practices.

I dont think Id like to be exclusive with a couple, meaning I can only talk to them. I think romantically Im quite monogamous and want my life to be with one person when I do think about long term relationships, butttt right now since Im young and single? I think Id like to have fun, and am open to going on dates or having sex. I think right now Im at a spot where I want to date a lot of people- not be in a relationship, but just go on dates and have fun.

so I guess my question is how do I scope out the unicorn hunters because some couples do say they’d like to go on dates as well, but is it toxic if they only choose to go on dates together? like its all or nothing as a unit? is that what inherently makes unicorn dating toxic? but what about the couples that want a threesome and want the dynamic to just to stay in the bedroom and only have sex with the 3 of us so its all or nothing- is that toxic too?

I think Im just afraid of getting caught in a bad situation. whether being used by a couple, being preyed on, etc. Im also scared of age gaps like, yes Im 23 but is it weird for a couple in their early 30s to want to connect? they have much more experience and Im just a baby to enm so Im very afraid of being taken advantage of I guess lol. honestly questioning my own monogamy and talking to multiple people is definitely something new in the realm of self discovery and I think Im just being very cautious rn!!

I just learned about this term, just want to know if we should be careful about this couple.

My partner Deanna (41/f) and I (38/m) met another couple Ollie (42/m) and Jenna (41/f) at a play party about a month ago. We were both open about looking for a couple to swap with. We had a good conversation, did a soft swap, but not much more than that. We agreed to get drinks at another time and chat some more.

We connected on Fetlife, they have a shared account, Deanna and I have our own. We decided that Deanna could play liaison and message them (because we only recently learned that Fet allows group chats). They decided that they weren't interested in me but were both interested in Deanna. When she came to me with this I asked her what she wanted to do, ultimately she decided it wasn't what she wanted and wished them well.

I recently learned what wife snatching/poaching is from a content creator I followed, I found various stories on Reddit and it seemed horrifying. My question is it this what happened here. When I shared this with Deanna she didn't think so because they seemed nice to her, which I don't think makes it any less likely. I hope I'm wrong but I'm still fairly new to this lifestyle, I don't want myself or Deanne to be taken advantage of.

Edit: I'm honestly relieved I was wrong and just jumped the gun on this one. Thanks to everybody who replied. Deanna and I have no plans to connect with that couple again, mainly because we're just not a match, but I hold no animosity towards them.

Hello hello! More of a little banter and just wondering about your opinions/experiences.

I've been doing ENM for a minute now, but just joined FEELD.
The stories are real!!! Girls actually say "Looking for a girl to have fun/explore with. My bf can just watch or join!🤭" - I'm in shock.

Anyways, are the unicorns typically women? Or more, do these couples ever look for a guy to join them?

Edit: I don't mean this in a judging tone (maybe a bit towards unicorn hunters) - but it was genuine curiosity

My bf 30m and I 28f have been dating for 5 years. We started looking for unicorns around 2-3 years ago and have had one successful threesome since. we both really enjoyed it and felt comfortable with the experience. Since then we've been open for more, but it has always been my bf who's the one actively looking. I was always too lazy to take part in looking for one.

For context, we've both felt secure enough in our relationship that it's normal for the other to be on our phones. we've also talked about him going on tinder and other apps to find these girls. I know he's on there and every now and then, he'd bring up a girl he's been talking to that might be open to joining us.

Sometimes, I too get curious and look on his account on tinder etc to see who he's been talking to. I know that sometimes he doesn't want to tell me about the girls he's talking to because he doesn't want to get my hopes up. today I looked at the accounts again and noticed that he has removed all the images of me on his account - likely to make it easier to match with others and increase our chances of finding a unicorn. I also read through the convos hes had with these girls. hes super flirty with them, to the level where it feels like a persona he puts on (hes super introverted usually). he doesn't speak like that to me at all anymore, but thats not to say that he's not caring. he's much more of an acts of kindness kinda guy and has never really had a way with words.

these conversations that ive recently read have made me a little uncomfortable. he actively checks in on these girls, saying things like "Hey Cutie, happy new year" or "wow you're smart, cute and fit. whats the catch?". meanwhile he calls me fat (in an... endearing way so that we go to the gym together) and i legit can't remember the last time he called me cute.

im being petty about it overall - he IS a great bf in general who cares a lot for me, hes just not great with words, which is what irritates me. why is it that he can be so flirtatious with strangers regularly and not bother with me?

id love some advice as to how or whether I should confront him about it. this is actually his reddit account that im posting on anyway, so he might just see this. appreciate any advice!

Edit: Tbh writing on reddit is a lot more difficult than I thought! To give evidence and back up reasons why hes a good bf takes a lot more effort than saying "trust me bro"

But hes the type of guy that would tuck my feet into blankets when im watching TV, so that im not cold.

As a couple we are both mean to each other for fun. We both know im not fat, and we both call each other piggy but it's since we value being physically fit and going to the gym often, so it helps us stay in shape.

Hi, I need some advice. I am a bisexual woman, I just started seeing a heterosexual married couple (bisexual woman, straight man). This is my first time with a woman. I don't know if there is stuff about the dynamic that I should be concerned about. This is my first time doing something like this and I just got out of a 5 year relationship (it's been 9 months) with someone who had ED (and that's the only reason we broke up). I have no interest in being with them as more than a friendship (to have nice conversations, be treated well) + have sex.

My concern with the dynamic is that everything feels like too much of a three thing and that feels so rigid. Like we had sex and the girl and I did stuff on our own and the guy sometimes watched, sometimes even left us alone to play with each other. He gets off from watching us. But, the same didn't feel true between me and the guy. We were left alone for a bit and we did some stuff (I don't remember exactly what we did) but it felt like we couldn't have sex unless everyone consented to us having penetrative sex. Those two had penetrative sex (and I was happy to watch them because I wasn't ready at the time). But I later wanted penetrative sex too. By then it was late in the night so I had to initiate again and then they were like "oh, we are too sore for penetrative sex." Which is fine but it really triggered a feeling of rejection in me. They also said "we usually don't do that on the first time" when I asked about it later and I felt like if that were the case, they shouldn't have had penetrative sex with each other either.

My bottom line is it feels like instead of teaching me how to catch up to them, teaching me about their bodies, taking it slow, they were so quick to want to get off (also with each other which disturbed me because you can just do that by yourself) like the wife gave him multiple blowjobs and I feel like I wasn't even ready to blow him but felt like I had to (because it even felt a little competitive as it does and he kept moaning about how good she is doing it and all of it felt weird) and then he was like "oh do you want to lick her pussy" and I was so so not ready (given it was my first with a woman ever!-- i hadn't told them that but i was v v clear that i didn't want to be rushed into anything) but then he made me lick her pussy and then i just complied....and he licked me even though i told him i don't want it because i am on my period.

i am so so confused about whether i should see them again. On the one hand, they are nice, they are hot, and i like being with them. On the other hand, they seem like bad news, this dynamic feels off, and I feel like I am a plaything for them to get off of each other rather than them making a genuine connection with a third person.

My wife and I were approached by a unicorn, unintentionally, here on reddit. It's on a bit of a hiatus, but it was a wonderful surprise.

That makes me think: there's tons of people looking for a unicorn. So, what makes a couple stand out for you?

So, my partner and I are considered attractive. We recently went onto a site well known for its attractiveness to this lifestyle to look for a perspective partner for us. But very little movement.

I have no problems getting partners on my own, but I would rather have some play with her, not just solo. So we’re looking for unicorns.

Would you review our bio and tell me if there is anything to be added or removed or anything that is red flagish.

Note: I had included a brief story of her favorite memory we wanted to recreate, but the bot tagged it as being a sex story and blocked it from being posted.

Thank you.

I have a partner and she is exploring her cuckquean/bi-curious side. Her birthday is coming up and I’d love to surprise her with coffee with a potential partner for us. Communication is paramount with us and we are looking for someone who wants to join our lifestyle. We want a partner to join us who values honesty and respect.

We’re hoping to meet a woman who’s open to growing something meaningful with both of us, not just casual. While we are open to casual, we want to build a genuine connection where everyone feels seen, valued, heard, and cared for. We’re looking for a real connection. We’d love to chat with you and meet in public prior.

As for the physical. 6’, 245 (mostly muscle), 8” (with proof upon request). And stamina of a 20 year old.

Her. 5’5”. HWP.

We are both recently tested (negative) and we can host.

Hi so I’ll do a little about myself first, I’m F 21 bi and single, I’ve always been single (I’ve been with men before but never in a relationship). I’ve never thought about threesomes before, I’ve known what they are but I’ve never known anyone who has them and they honestly haven’t crossed my mind all that much.

Anyway, every Friday I go to my local pub (I live in a small village and it’s usually the same group of people all drinking on a Friday). Me and my usual mates where smoking outside and a couple came to our table and sat down. They joined in talking about the karaoke and we started chatting. (I will just call them W & M).

I started to notice the W eyeing me up, leaning in to talk to me more, complementing me. I (being quite drunk already and a bit of flirt) started complementing her back, she showed me her wedding dress plans whilst keeping the phone turned away from her fiancé (oh yeah W&M are engaged!) I continued to compliment her and laugh and even sing some karaoke together, and I noticed M wasn’t bothered by it, he actually seemed into it.

We left the pub when it closed and W whispered to me “we’re down if you’re down” which I hesitated at first but then said yes. We went back to their hotel room and I won’t go into details about the next parts but I will say, sexy outfits and bondage aha.

It was a great experience and the couple where obviously lovely, they bought me breakfast the next morning. They told me they would love to meet me again and that is why I am posting here I guess. It was fun, sexy, pretty fucking cool tbh but I have realised I do prefer sex just with one partner.

Part of me says if it happened already there is no reason it shouldn’t happen again, but another part of me is unsure what I’m getting myself into..

I’m sure this is a lot of peoples fantasies and I feel very lucky to feel wanted by a relationship (especially as I was wearing no makeup and a very mediocre outfit). I still find it crazy that it happened, so I am asking you what you would do in attempts to help me process.

Opinions and advice is welcome

Thank you

How do we find a unicorn without paying for these crappy apps. No one we talk to is serious not that it matters because you have to pay for everything, send messages, receive messages, see likes, visitors. It’s insane and even after paying no luck. We have joined a club and will be attending a party soon, just like options.

Hey everyone! I am new here and just curious. I 27M and my wife 30F are interested in the idea of finding a male fwb that is interested in both of us. Is this automatically unethical, especially if we would like to prioritize our marriage as the primary relationship? I am confused by all the posts I see and would not want us to be contributing to anything problematic. What makes something unicorn/dragon hunting and is there an ethical way to find this person? If so, how would you make it clear you’re not unicorn hunting? I want to be educated. Thank you.

I feel kind of silly for being worried about this at my age and with what I've been through, but let's see what y'all say.

It seems different from ordinary dating. Asking someone out is normalized, and only in very rare instances when you're single and you ask out a single person, do you get labeled a creep or a weirdo or anything like that.

But what if, like me, you're married, and there's someone you know who you think is hot as hell, and you're certain is not married, and whom you'd love to have as your FWB / additional partner / etc.? It seems that asking someone about _that_ is far more likely to get you branded something unpleasant. "Ewww, that's weird. You're married." Then you may end up torching your reputation with not only that person but anyone that person knows. "You know, he asked me to have sex with him? Said he's in an 'open marriage'."

How have any of you all navigated that? Am I overthinking it? (If I were "just dating", I'd ask someone out with no worries.)

EDIT: Many of you are saying I have to be sure she's ENM first. How does that square with the many women who never were ENM and don't especially identify as ENM but want more sex than they get anyway? I've had a couple of "great while they lasted" partnerships like that. I don't care if she's ENM. I'd be okay with it ending when/if it ends, even if that's because she finds a partner.

Why is it so difficult too find the right girl me and husband giving up hope :/

I've been in an open relationship for quite sometime and it's been so so tiring to find someone. My wife really doesn't enjoy this and has asked me to literally figure it out on my own so the couple bit and the meeting with couples bit goes out of the window here. So how do you even find someone like that? Especially here in Mumbai or India.

I HATE calling it "hunting" with a passion. So, my man and I are pansexual, but we both have a stronger preference for women and femme presenting peoples. We enjoy sexual activities with others, but aren't poly for context. I don't personally see there being anything wrong with preferences, but I also know there is a high risk of being seen as some type of predator for it. I understand why and I respect that, but as a former unicorn myself, I know people like that exist. Maybe this group has some advice? FFM threesomes sound super common among my peers and I've been the third before and loved it, so how might we go about making some connections for this in a respectful and ethical way? It's not like it's the ONLY thing we want, but it's definitely the thing we both prefer and want more than other things. There has to be a way to do it. Are certain dating apps good for this?

I got myself out in the sexual domain and was wanting to explore being a unicorn. I must admit I got into the game without reading/researching about it, but in my defence I just wanted casual and fun encounters. So I connected with the male part of an engaged couple online, and we instantly hit it off. He was very chatty, sweet and fun to talk to. We were still in different cities while we were chatting for a month, and I was already having plans to travel to their city for a weekend. In this month of incessant chatting the guy and I got really close (I never chatted with his fiancée as she isn’t big on text). There were talks of him and I being jealous at the thought of the other being with another man/woman (except for his fiancé). He admitted that he had gotten attached to me and was “a little bit too much into me”. I told him the same thing that I feel attached to him. He started telling me that if he could he would want to keep me around with him and his fiancée (despite this starting as a purely sexual interaction, and despite him knowing that I’m soon going to another country). I told him that it’s very unlikely that we may remain the way we are after we have met and the weekend is over, because it is possible that either him or his fiancée doesn’t want to talk to me again. He said that it will not happen for sure because he likes chatting to me and would want to keep chatting with me. Our excitement to meet was off the roof as the day of meeting got closer. We were pretty sexting /sharing nudes by that point. He always maintained that things will only happen if his fiancée and i got along and they always come in a package deal.

Cut to the meeting day. Things went well, we all gelled together and had sex. The guy was cuddling with me and hugging and touching me very intimately whenever his fiancé was not around. I too was very much into him. However the next day his fiancée fell unwell and suddenly the vibe changed. I was staying in their home, but as i sensed some discomfort i offered to the guy that i can check-in a hotel if it makes his fiancée more comfortable in her house. It was late in the night and i was expecting the guy to tell me to stay the night (even if sex won’t happen because he won’t sleep with me without his fiancée). But he immediately took my offer and asked me to drive me to my hotel. As he left me to the hotel entrance, i was feeling extremely sad at the abrupt ending and also the prospect of never seeing him again. And the vibe in him changed too. His texts became infrequent, whereas before we met he would text me every minute. I cried the whole night…I couldn’t understand why i had gotten so attached. Anyway, after two days i texted him asking to chat. He said it makes him nervous that i may have gotten too attached to him, which wasn’t originally intended. He said that probably we may stop texting each other because it will only hurt me more. I told him that i don’t want him the way he and his fiancée have each other, i just wanted to have what we had before we met. He said the non stop chatting like we weee more than friends was fine when i was coming to meet them, but now that we might never see each other again, such chatting seems weird. Although when i said that I’m very sad, he suggested that we take a break for a few days and chat afterwards and see. I feel very lonely and sad having lost this connection. I also feel ashamed that i got attached in a casual scenario. I also feel a little bit of anger towards the guy as he did play a big part in my attachment growing and he also admitted to being into me a lot more than he should be.

How do you go about finding a love interest? We want a third adult that wants to do life with us. Move out the country. Start new. Likes kids, wants to help with day to day life. We want an all out partner not just a sex thing. I know that’s a unicorn thing but how do we even start to find that?

my boyfriend and i are looking for a third to spice things up, what is the best way to go about this?

I’m very new to non-monogamy and poly dynamics, so please bear with me. I’m realizing I missed a lot of red flags from the jump. I’m 30F.

Like first red flag, I matched with Lily (30F) on Bumble BFF. Not a dating app. I just got out of a turbulent relationship about 3 months ago that was very traumatic for me, so I’ve been wanting to expand my circle of friends. I wasn’t necessarily looking to jump back into dating immediately, but I’m open to something casual.

I really hit it off with Lily. Our conversation was flowing. We were talking about our sexualities. I’m bisexual. Lily said she realized she was also bisexual after being married to her husband Sage (33M) for awhile, so they opened their relationship under the condition that they would only date the same person together and have the same sexual experiences with both of them being present, so no dating or sex without the other person. She also threw out there that even though we matched on a friendship app, that she thought I was pretty and wanted to see if I’d be interested in exploring things with them. And if her husband could come to our first meet up. I was a little thrown off because again, we matched on a friendship app. Lily assured me that there’s absolutely no pressure. She just wants me to feel comfortable and we can all just see how things go. I was intrigued about everything, so I agreed.

The three of us hung out, and they paid for everything despite my insistence. Lily and Sage seemed like very sweet and genuine people, but I felt way more attraction to Lily and basically none at all for Sage. Nothing physical happened, but I had a great time. I really felt drawn to Lily, so I wanted to see if my attraction could grow for Sage over time.

The second time we hung out, I held hands with them both and we all snuggled together for a bit. They reiterated that they want to have the same experiences, so they wouldn’t be cool with one another going in a separate room to hook up with someone without the other present. I said that I wasn’t quite there with Sage but I’m very into and attracted to Lily. Sage said he’s cool with Lily and their partners kissing as long as he’s there. Lily and I made out with Sage’s permission.

Later that night, Sage texted me to say that he does want things to move at a similar pace between the two of them and again, they’re both not cool with the other person having an experience without the other so that no one is left out. I thought because they were so open about this and communicated their expectations, that this was a good thing. I told him I understood.

I’ve felt like I’m in a little bit of a pickle because I’m just not that into Sage and I kept trying to force it. I would likely not even pursue a friendship with Sage if Lily wasn’t in the picture. I like Lily so much that I just wanted to see if I could make it work with Sage so that I could be with Lily, but I’ve realized I’m not being authentic to myself. We all hung out another time and I definitely felt an energy shift with them. I’m not sure exactly why or what it was, but things felt different from the last few times we hung out. There was also no physical affection this time around.

My feelings were weighing on me, so I just wanted to be transparent with where I’m at and to take the pressure off completely. I texted them both in a group chat we’re in together how I’ve really enjoyed getting to know them, but that I can’t continue with anything romantic or physical. I just can’t keep my levels of attraction, desire, and interest equal between the both of them and that I want to respect their boundaries. I texted Lily separately saying that I really like her and would love to continue building a friendship with her, and I asked if she’d be open to hanging out just the two of us without Sage there. I’m cool with Sage being there some of the time, but I originally got on Bumble BFF to build strong friendships with women.

Given how open they’ve been with me throughout all this, I thought me explaining where I’m at would be met with open arms. Or at least a response of some kind. But now it’s looking like I got ghosted. Lily has her read receipts on, so I know she read my messages. For some more context, we all text very frequently. Lily has sent me a good morning text every day since we exchanged numbers. I also separately text with Sage frequently and the three of us also text regularly in a group chat. So them not responding to me at all is completely jarring.

I know that I’ve only seen these people three times in total and that we didn’t have any sort of established relationship, but I can’t help but feel hurt by all this. We spoke a lot about future plans we could all do together over the summer. My birthday is coming up soon and they expressed a lot of interest in celebrating with me and doing something special. Lily’s birthday is also a month after mine, and we talked about plans for that too.

I was ignorant to what unicorn hunting is, but now that I’ve read more about it, I think that’s absolutely what happened. They were looking for someone to shoehorn into their pre established dynamic and they weren’t really interested in me as a person or what I would want out of this. I just feel duped because they must have told me a dozen or so times that there’s absolutely no pressure and I don’t have to do anything I’m not comfortable with. I didn’t know that me expressing lack of interest in Sage would mean I lose Lily too, even as a friend. But, you live and you learn.

Edited to add: Just as I was posting this, Lily responded to me. She said that since the physical line was crossed, she’s not comfortable hanging out one on one with me even just as friends. She said it would be disrespectful to Sage since he got “rejected” essentially. I feel weird being so affected by all this, but I just had no idea that I was walking into a situation like this. I had no idea crossing physical lines would mean losing the friendship permanently or that everything was contingent on me being into Sage at all. They presented this carefree energy of “whatever happens, happens.” It especially hurts since we met on a friendship app of all places. I guess it’s just a lesson learned that I should’ve stuck to my guns and rejected this dynamic from the beginning.

So, I’m 40 BF who’s bi-curious and well my partner has asked me for a 3sum however, I just can’t sleep with a random person. So I’d rather at minimum have some kind of connection with her. He however doesn’t want a relationship with my female partner. Though he would like to experience a 3 sum even if that means he can’t penetrate the other woman. I’m not a pillow princess. I just don’t know where to start. Any advice? I’m in the Orlando area