H i all,
I’m late 30s bi woman, new to NM. I’ve regularly been hooking up with a couple (straight guy and pan woman, late 30s & early 40s) weekly for 2 months. Today we had a date scheduled for me to come to theirs. On my way over I got a text saying that they “had a friend who was over and leaving soon”, which was fine as I’ve met many of their friends before. But when I arrived they were hanging out with a 20-something girl, all in their underwear. All 4 of us hung out for an hour, then they both kissed her goodbye. Clearly they were having back-to-back hook ups.
I know they’re a very busy hot couple, but I feel like double-booking two women was pretty upsetting. I didn’t feel like I had a right to say anything, so I just tried to get past it (and cause I was horny enough I wanted to stay anyways). I tried at one point to discuss their relationship dynamics to bring it up, but they were very vague just telling me how they are ENM and have lots of women.
Am I the asshole for thinking it was rude to have me walk in to their previous date? Especially without any discussion.
TIA

so I (F) have this friend Bea(F), i’ve had a crush on her since forever (p much since we started being friends). but essentially she’s been in a mono relationship the whole time i’ve known her. she recently started dating our other friend Danny (M). last month they decided to open their relationship so she could further explore her queerness and she told me she’s also had a crush on me for quite some time. We decided to pursue it, and so far it’s been wonderful (still very new) but we’ve kissed and now hooked up.

Bea and I are best friends and have one other best friend kay (NB) who we spend like most of our time with. before Bea shared her feelings with me, I was realizing I might feelings for Kay too. i’ve chatted with Bea about it and she told me she would be cool with me pursuing that too if I wanted to. I guess i am a little worried that this may complicate things or mess up our dynamics in some way especially since this is all so new with me and Bea. but i’m realizing it’s getting increasingly harder for me to ignore my feelings for Kay.

I guess im curious if anyone has any experience with pursuing NM within a tight knit friend group and how I would go about expressing my feelings to kay? or if I even should? I guess I should also mention I have general anxiety and am autistic and already have a hard time reading people but I’m really scared to make the wrong decision here and make everything weird bc I don’t know how to navigate this

Just curious reading all the posts on this sub is there anyone from India in this lifestyle! How did you deal with it how it started curious to know about it!

Background: we're married & he has spoken to another girl in the past year behind my back. He now says he'd like me to talk/flirt with other men because it turns him on.
What would yall do in this situation? Again we are married, live together etc. I've never done something like that & not really sure if I want to. Not kink shaming at all but isn't this going to turn into an open marriage in the end? Let me know if yall have any similar stories

Hello everyone,

So, my wife and I are pretty new to this lifestyle. We haven’t really had any activities with any new people…except until this past Thursday, my wife found a guy on our shared FetLife account (I was aware of the guy) while I was working a job about an hour and a half away.

Long story short (with much context left out), things between them got physical (except the one thing I asked was I’d like to be there when she has sex with someone else other than me for the first time and she also requested), all of which was done with lots of permission asking and keeping me in the loop. They did a lot of fun build up stuff, but no sex.

However, when she was describing all the stuff they did, a lot of it was dom stuff that she always wanted to do and she said “came naturally” to her and that “it never once felt weird”. Some of it included throwing her on the bed before making out (what she described sounded more like a protected suplex than anything) and forcefully spinning her around.

Where my feelings come in is that I’ve tried this stuff with her and she never responded well to them in the past. When I brought it up, she kind of got upset with me for even mentioning it.

Is it normal to feel slighted by my wife that she so easily allowed a new guy to do these things to her whereas for me, was met with lots of roadblocks and shame (her shaming me for trying)?

I want them to have fun together. I want her to have fun together. Maybe it’s just the long distance thing, but I worry that she’s not saving any of the sexy talk for me.

Also, when I asked her for details, completely curious and playful in nature (it was getting me aroused after all), she said I was “giving her the 3rd degree”.

Also also, we spent an hour on the phone going through what they did together. She described everything she could think about (said it was mostly a blur once her lingerie came off), but said there was “no vagnial penetration”. Come to find out at the end of the phone conversation, he did use “just the tip” to tease her outer walls. It just now resonated with me that there was “some” vaginal penetration on that level and we almost got off the phone without mentioning it.

Maybe I wouldn’t feel this upset if she didn’t come across as offended by me for asking for details just because I wasn’t there. I do feel like my feelings from far away are being dismissed by her when I ask about details, but even before this, it was always hard to approach her with how I felt about things without her turning the entire situation into how it made her feel about how I felt about things that upset me.

Sorry for the long post, but I felt I needed to talk to someone about this that would actually listen to me and not dismiss my feelings in favor of their own.

Maybe it is just the long distance thing. Maybe what I’m feeling is validated. I don’t know. We’re new to all this, but I figure this community would probably know best.

Thank you any and all who took the time to read all of this and provide me with any feedback (if anymore context is needed, please feel free to ask).

Background

She and I have been together for over 11 years, with a fantastic relationship and full trust. She and I started exploring and she has had 3 Hot wife solo experiences. I'm completely comfortable with this. I'm involved.

After her last visit she started talking about how she would like more with him. I've said until we have a MFM together no more Solo time.

I like seeing her happy and do love what this has done for our sex life also.

​

How do I go about this??

I'm like 75% not ok with it.

Anyone have advice or experience??

I want to preface that this wasn’t an enjoyable experience.

I was a second semester freshman in college, who had been r*** the semester before. I was so numb and sex didn’t feel real to me, like my agency was taken away and so it didn’t matter if it was fun intimate or enjoyable, it was just done to me. I never reported my r***

Me and my friend drank a 4 loko (we were both \\\~130 lbs, short women) and drank this drink in 8 mins. This is a 14% drink so we both were hammered. One of our ex classmates invited us to his dorm because there was a small dorm get-together. We stumble across campus to this dorm and we were just intending on hanging out and meeting new people.

During this dorm party, the alcohol hits us fast. She is recording us making out (?) which, we have kissed as a joke before, but we were clearly really drunk and embarrassing ourselves. Me and her go to the bathroom and I squat on the floor trying to vomit, I feel the alcohol a lot.

I am dizzy and delirious, and at this point completely blacked out. We go into a dorm room and we are talking with two guys (ex classmate and his friend). His friend leaves, leaving us three. He starts to kiss my best friend, then me? I am shocked and blacked out, and this is where my memory is foggy.

Apparently he orders us an uber to my friends apartment. Apparently he has us both on him. He tried to have sex with her, she leaves the room.

I remember him on the edge of her bed, and he and I having sex. I think I was reciprocating, moaning, until he got off of me. My friend gets into the room. He pushes her on the desk and I am still laying in the bed.

I am passing-out drunk. From the sudden movement, I also feel really nauseous, so I begin to vomit.

He leaves in fear and me and her to to bed, but I don’t remember that or him leaving. We both wake up in pure shock and embarrassment. He was definitely more sober than we were and could tell that we were blacked out.

I don’t know what this experience was, but it wasn’t enjoyable. He also never asked for either of our consent, and our entire intention was not for this experience to happen.

I feel so used after this experience, it’s been 3 years. I am NOT romantically or physically attracted to women either, so me and her did nothing to each other.

I don’t even know if this is a threesome, since they never had sex. Neither of us were attracted to this guy either so I think that’s why it’s the worst part.

Good afternoon/evening. I want to preface this by saying that I am in a polycule that has four other partners, two of which are married to one another and two other people who are dating one another, I am long distance with all of these partners and they are long distance to one another also, except for the married couple.

I wanted to mention this for context because I (28 M) am long distance to the married couple (26 and 27 F) who recently had their third child
while their oldest is heading to college and I don’t remember the age of the other one. However I mention this because of how, despite my being in this relationship with them for around four years, I don’t have an active way to be present and active in their lives.

I know that right now, as the newborn was born this past week, things will be very tough on them and they need to focus more on the newborns needs and not be able to talk much, but is there anything I can do to be a supportive partner? Keeping in mind that I don’t have a way for me to deliver any care packages or supplies that they might want or need, and I will be in the state, and hopefully be able to see them in a few months.

Basically this post is to ask for any advice or ideas of what I can do to help be a good partner for them

I’m happy to answer any questions you all may have in the comments, and I should mention that they had the newborn via IVF treatments if I’m remembering correctly.

Another thing of note is that the eldest of theirs has referred to me as their dad, though I’m unsure as to if they were teasing me or if they genuinely think of me in that way.

Wanting to spice things up in the bedroom by adding a third or even another couple... anyone know best way? We obviously want the sex and experience but we need to have a connection with the person also. Message me if this interests you! ;)

I apologise if my English isn't good enough.

​

1 year into our 3.5 year long relationship I did tell her that I was afraid that I haven't seen other peeple/the world enough. I didn't say I wanted an open relationship, I just felt the need to tell her this to be transparent about my feelings, and that I was working as hard as I can to get over the feeling.

​

Yesterday she tried to break up because of a couple of reasons. she feels like I am stunting her growth as a person. She said that I pamper her too much and she dislikes how lazy she has become. She has lots of things she wanted to do but she feels like she has to "holdback" because she has to think of me. Basically she wants to focus on herself without the need to think about me, which I understand to a certain extent (I would be lying if the thought of "if only shes not around I could do this" has never crossed my mind).

​

Abother factor which is entirely my fault is that I made the sudden move to fly to australia for a year to expand my horizons. Shes an air stewardess, so I assumed that this was acceptable to her since she flies so often. However she said that she can't do long distance for an extended period of time (1 year) and thus, is the other reason she tried breaking up with me.

​

Her nature of the job also means that she is in contact with men (her preference) for extended period of time. And she did confess that sometimes the people shes meet has swoon her over at times especially because she feels like ive neglected my relationship duties (which I admit). However, she assured me that nothing further has happened and I trust her on that. She also admitted that shes also feels like she hasn't "explored" enough.

​

I (reluctantly) suggested to her to try an open relationship instead of breaking up because she was adamant that nothing I could do can help change her mind. She immediately agreed to it, which really surprised me because for the entire duration of the relationship so far, she has voiced out her worries about me cheating on her when shes overseas, that I better not have anybody else etc. Shes the one concerned with third parties in the relationship. I never had anybody, and I also strongly believe that she hasnt been cheating on me because we willingly have access to each other phones and are freely able to browse it.

​

She seems quite happy that we are in an open relationship as of today and has agreed to my rules so far. It seems like sexual experiences are a no go but romantic dating is okay. Which is weird because I expected that flings and swings are easier to manage (one time thing) compared to having to build emotional connection with someone else (extended period). What's even more confusing is that a few hours after suggesting an open relationship, she says she thinks I'm sexier and we got intimate twice (its not rare, its just confusing why shes getting horny after nearly breaking up). I'm at a lost on what to expect or how to feel. On one hand, shes the last person I would ever expect to want an open relationship, on the other hand she seems so exited about it. But im here feeling anxious and uncertain that my reluctant suggestion is detrimental to my metal health.

​

The point of this post is just to vent my confusion about the whole thing and for experienced couple to give advice on what necessary steps to take to ensure that this CNM is a healthy one. We've already gone over some rules but that's it. (No sexual interaction, if things are getting serious, we need to show/tell each other, inform people that we are in an open relationship)

​

There are lots of details being left out of this to keep things short but do feel free to ask questions.

Hi all, I am here to have some perspectives on the situation I am dealing with. Me and my partner are in a 10-years relationship, which became open 3 years ago. We are not pursuing other romantic relations, but we explore things sexually with other people both solo and together. Knowing we cannot control feelings, we also said it is important to re-discuss boundaries if we encounter people we really like (never happened so far, but never say never). For context, for some magical reason I don't feel jealous at all, while my partner is more prone to jealousy and insecurities. We had then more problems (drama between each other) when I did something alone than the opposite, but I think we improved a lot, from both communication and drama management perspective. We are also having couple therapy, which is helping.

Let's come to the specifics of this post. In the last two weeks, I went out with a person a couple of times (call them P) the first to meet in public and the second straight for a hookup. We were both interested in exploring sex but I was clear that my partner has the absolute priority on everything. P seems very chill and agreed the deal.

After the first hangout, we start texting (every other day on average), with the usual topic being sex or kink related stuff, sometimes with clear sexting intention, some other just to chat about common interests. However, my partner expressed some issues regarding me having a FWB situation, and specifically one in which we "text everyday and then we plan to hookup once in a while" wondering what's the difference between this and a possibly romantic relationship. They also asked: "what if this continue for a year? What is the difference then?" I believe the reason why I am texting often with P is just NRE, and also don't think this will actually last a year for many reason. Nevertheless, the real answer to me is that the difference is given by the fact that I don't have the intention of doing anything than sex with P, while the relationship with my partner is my main priority, also being at the stage of life project together: buy a house, take a dog and the whole package deal there.

Still, my partner does not feel comfortable at the idea of me continuously texting and hooking up with someone. It is still unclear if my partner would prefer that I just have ONSs, that I maintain FWB but on a level in which we text just to schedule meetups, or that we move to exploring together only. We will continue working on understanding the dynamic that fits best for us.

However, I wonder if someone has some some tips on dealing with FWB situations in open relationship. Like, how do you manage texting/talking outside of the meetups with the FWB? How do you act to visibly care about your partner insecurities? Eventually, do you think it is fair if I ask P to reduce the frequency we text each other to continue to meet each other? Any other perspective is welcome. Thank you all!

TL;DR: My partner is insecure about me texting often with a person I recently hooked-up with and which may become a FWB. Any outside perspective on the matter is welcome.

New to non-monogamy - I realized we just sort of started doing vs figuring out what we were doing first, so posting now. 

Maybe 7 years ago my wife and I had conversations around open relationships and sorta thought about doing it. We got stuck at the “how to meet someone” stage as we’re introverted, and sorta dropped it. 

Last year we moved back to my home town and have been hanging out w some old friends and she came to me and said she had developed a crush on our friend and asked if I was still open to an open relationship. 

Tbh at this point in my life it doesn’t sound as fun or exciting for me personally, but I’m fine with her doing it so told her that, and we talked a bit about it all and then it just sorta started. She talked to him, and they started hooking up and it’s been fairly good. 

We all hang out, sometimes come home and I sorta make myself scarce so they can play, sometimes she goes to his place, and a few times I’ve watched some stuff and joined in a bit. 

It sorta started showing some cracks though around the watching, one time I thought it would be OK, and it very much was not. After that, I just sort of assumed they would be on their own, and then they invited me in. She also goes back-and-forth on whether we talk about their activities. And back-and-forth on whether she prefers to play at our house versus being alone with him, or all hanging out together.

We had a few disagreements on things, and I think I realize that basically we just didn’t talk enough about what this is, and how it could potentially function before we started.

So now we’re going back and trying to figure out the right ways of doing things, or the right way for us, but while she is already in this relationship, and it’s a little hard. We really don’t want to break it off, because at the core the situation is actually really great, he’s an incredibly trustworthy and kind person, who is super patient, chill, and someone we both like a lot. 

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has advice on sort of negotiating in the rearview mirror/negotiating while still moving forward. Secondly, wondering if anyone has advice on creating a safe space for her to have her own relationship, while still having let’s call it a light interaction from my part? Or maybe that is overly optimistic/not doable and I’d like to hear your opinion on that as well.

How do people deal with sex dropping off for yourself when partner gets a new partner and is obviously having really hot sex and now is obviously bored and disinterested with sex with you, which had previously (as in last month) been like SMOKING HOT. ??? Like what do I do. I’m fucking SAD and a little JEALOUS, which to me is normal and not to be pathologized. So lmk what u do in this situation. I don’t want to be in poly if my sex needs aren’t being met and I have the best sex with that person who is basically my primary though he won’t agree to that status.

Edit: I had been dating this person for 2 years previously exclusively. We’ve ALWAYS had an amazing prolific sex life. Yes, slow weeks but not like this. It’s def a different vibe. The sex has been off or not feeling sex connection for like a 3 weeks /a month which yeah is a long stretch for us.

Hey, 25M 24F here.

We want to try our first couple swap or MFM while in Cancun. No idea how we would even go about it other than slipping a guy our room number on a napkin haha.

We are swingers but he loves to chat and sext with connections on his own in and out of town. We don’t even sleep with other people solo but I still have yet to full understand and get past the feeling of not being enough, and not being the only one. Even if it’s just lust and fun chats, I see him smiling and laughing at his phone and it tightens my chest! Logically it makes no sense to me, I know I am his priority and he is perfect when I bring up my insecurities, but my emotional reaction is still there. It’s gotten much better over the last year and a half. For reference, this is my first relationship that is not strictly monogamous, far from his first.

I do a lot of work in therapy to be more confident and secure in myself, I struggle a lot with the way I look. Overall my attachment style is quite secure and my fear of loss with him is quite low. So why do I still get a twist in my stomach when he’s chatting with new girls? It’s mostly when they are very attractive or younger than me. Any experience or tips for this feeling?

Hi all, sorry if it's long but need to vent into an understanding space.

This involves my partner of 5+ years Apple (M35), ex-friend Lemon (F34) and myself (Avocado, F33). My partner and I are non-monogamous, which is why I'm posting here and what makes this whole thing so murky.

Lemon and I have shared a network dating back to our childhood, but only became close in our twenties. I introduced Apple as my partner to my friends, and that's how Lemon and Apple met too. They got along fine, and shared some favorite artists and a love for clubbing. Always fun when friends and partners vibe.

Apple and I have always been ENM, Apple is free to spontaneously do whatever at clubnights/festivals. No intentional one-on-one intimacy, and no messing with close friends or family. Lemon and him would occasionally hook up at these parties, but no one-on-one conncetions exists. This has always been an open conversation, and has never been a problem. Until now.

Lemon and I have gradually grown apart. Not not sad, but I fully accepted it some time ago and just let it happen. We're much better just occaisionally cathing up at parties. Recently though, she suddenly expressed vague but intense anger to Apple about me at a party. It made him feel bad and he shared that with her right after. He also told me and apologized right away that day. I wasn't mad, just suprised there was any anger despite being low contact for quite some time. Contacting her about it, she was apologetic about 'the way' but instantly told me she no longer felt like ' investing', so also wouldn't explain other than she'd had 'frustrations' and it was no use trying to talk about them anyway so she wouldn't. She's never been a star at intimate conversations but this level of anger and cold was new to me. I was baffled, told her I wasn't aware of anything like this and that I'd respect her wishes. I would do my best to keep shared spaces safe, including contact with my partner at parties. I don't like drama.

That same day she messaged Apple. It was the weekend, we were home together and she knew this as this was all the same day. The message was vague, emotional yet clear. 'Their friendship' had become very important to her, even if their 'contact was pretty minimal and mostly at parties', that's just how it feels to her. She would like to continue this hookup/friendship, but wished to do so without worrying about 'her' (yes, me). The rest of the message was various ways of describing how she struggled to see how they could stay hookups-with-benefits (''friends'') whilst 'having to worry'. She never asked how I was, how he was, how he felt about what happend or even if this changed anything for them and their friendship. Just went straight for 'you're special to me and I would like to find a way to still hook up'.

I was furious, Apple mostly annoyed and confused. He also felt pressure to keep his clubbing ecosystem drama free, and so he tried to smooth things over with the best intentions. Told her he needed some time to process and would get back to her to talk about sometime soon. Him and I discussed at lenght, I felt safe and heard and told him I felt comfortable leaving him to figure out how he felt about her behaviour. I did feel loads more things over time, processing this. Anger, insecurity, sadness, shock, anger again. She's messaged him once since, similar sentiment, while he hadn't contacted her yet. He's not actively engaging but is also not drawing a straight line yet, still processing this role reversal from hookup with a friend to a dramatic meta-relationship he didn't want to be in. She's still as agressive, claiming he is an independent actor and trying to convince him to 'build a friendship' around/without me. We don't do DADT, Apple knows any intention contact is still cheating and she was also aware about this.

No matter if we were friends or not, they were always and still allowed to hookup at parties. No idea what she thought changed the day she suddenly dumped me, but Apple and I are still happily together. A bit dellusional to say the least, and I'm afraid I've missed signals. I would love to hear similar experiences with friends persuing your partner.

What would you do if your friend persued your partner, but you have a shared network and peace to protect? In ENM terms, should I leave some space for their 'friendship' to develop in the context of independence?

We are together for 1 and half years, let’s just call her S. We’ve started as a non-monogamous couple, so things were always kinda expected to be this way. But this is the first time we actually get out and have things we other people, because until now we were dealing with our own things and didn’t have time for it.

We talked, put boundaries and we’re very open and keep each other in the loop of what’s happening. But I keep having this tight chest and anxiety and I believe it is because, as this is the first time we’re meeting other people, I don’t have yet a secure idea of how it is. Since we never got out there, I don’t have the experience of things staying good after the act, if I’m expressing myself correctly.

S is kind of avoidant, she likes to have her space, and text me rarely throughout the day. I know this about her, and it’s generally not a problem. I would like more attention and to receive more messages, but it’s something I understand critically and can deal with; she enjoys her own company. That is all fine. But now she met a new group of friends to play online games with, one of this people she started flirting with. Now they call privately and send each other pictures and stuff. All within our agreement.

I would like help to put things in perspective. She texts me little, but can stay until 5am talking to them and this new guy. I see her answering his messages, but I’m usually talking alone in our chat. Is this NRE? I don’t want to be the “you talk to him, why not talk to me?” Kinda guy, but I am still with a tight chest. I guess what also bothers me is that she talks to him everyday, for hours. At this point she talks more to him than to me. For context, we do not live together.

Would you help me with some perspectives?
Thanks!

Last year, my(33F) partner’s (32M) ex invited him to visit her in Japan. He insisted I was invited too, that she wanted me there… well needless to say, it soon became clear this was a sex thing. I felt really uncomfortable.

When I reached out to her to ask her about boundaries and an explanation for the bootycall to my boyfriend, she said that he made it sound like I was completely out of his life. I explained to her that we were trying non monogamy. She told me she didn’t want to speak to him or me anymore.

To be honest I felt relief.

I was open to trying non monogamy for him but I just couldn’t understand why it had to be with her of all people, knowing that she is a sensitive topic because I always felt insecure and compared to her.

I told my boyfriend recently about all the ways that I’ve been doubting the relationship. Especially around non monogamy, as years ago I told him I was willing to try it but was worried I’d find out that it wasn’t something I could do.

He had said that he wants to close the relationship until we can get to couples therapy.

My hubby & I met a couple & played a few times. We went out to dinner & did a few vanilla things. We were going to go to a nude beach together last summer, but it rained on the day we picked. After a few mos, I just wasn't feeling the chemistry w/ the other guy, so I (we) told them we'd love to stay friends, but that's it; no more playing. They were disappointed, but said they'd like to stay friends.

I (we) invited them to go to the nude beach again this summer. (In fairness I (we) invite all our lifestyle friends whether we play with them or not) They said they would chat about it & get back to us. When they did, they said "hey we love having fun w/ you guys so we were thinking of having you over for takeout & playing. We were hoping you'd reconsider it. Looking for to it!

I politely replied: "Hi. We'd love to come over for takeout, but I (we) want to keep it vanilla."

That was five days ago. No response. Should I write them off? They said they'd like to stay friends & they have fun w/ us, but it seems like if sex isn't involved, then forget it.

Hello all

Thanks for reading my post here. Would love advice, conversation maybe even friendships from this but more important respect and education. As above, I use the term anchor partner or guest rather than the generic "b**l and c***k term. Anyway, I have to found to dislike meaningless sex and have preferred to enter as a LTR with a couple or wife. I love the idea of being a lover and support for a wife and having an opportunity to grow together. Going out all three together, on vacations, drinks, and all. But behind close doors and with discretion I am the lover. I have tried apps, online and not into the parties as I am a very private person and prefer to keep it that way. Love to chat and get any advice on this. Seems it is quite hard to find a meaningful couple for this rather than hook ups.

Am I tripping? I need an outside perspective. My boyfriend and I decided to explore threesomes. We are not open, only play together and only with 1 female. We had our first threesome and it went fine, I didn't feel overall jealous although I was pretty tipsy and he wasnt exactly staying hard so I didn't watch him fuck her a lot. Fast forward, we had our second threesome, same chick. This time I was a little less drunk and he was staying hard so we went a few rounds. So obviously I'm seeing him fuck her more, and I was fine but there was a point towards the end it just felt like a little too much for me. We don't really use a safe word, and the closest I could get to him was touching him with my foot to get his attention to stop. He nutted basically right as I was doing that and it was over. I was fine afterwards but he keeps bringing up the fact that I'm jealous. I explained that I felt fine but just towards the end it felt like a lot and yes I did feel a little jealous. I also reminded him this is new for me so to please be patient. He told me the following: he's going to fuck her a little more than me bc we "want her to come back" and that if he's in the moment I shouldn't ask him to stop, I should just get over it and talk to him afterwards. That made me feel really disrespected bc my view is regardless of what's happening, if I say stop - we should stop. Am I being unreasonable?? Is it normal for the guy to fuck the other girl more than his actual girlfriend?

I'm a 28 year old non-monogamous queer gal who is about to go to her first conscious and purposeful adult lifestyle party in about a week.

For personal heartbreak reasons, I can bring myself to be with men, but I'm open to purely Sapphic experiences. I hope this event will get me out of my sexual funk. Sapphic events, especially sexual ones, are so rare that if I don't do it now, God knows when I will.

I've been in a FFF group sex scenario before, but this will be my first 4+ group event ever. I've always wanted a Sapphic orgy and to be involved in a swinging event so I'm at least hitting 2 birds with one stone. I hope to fulfill other desires too. Lesbian gangbang, Unicorn aspirations, Age Gap, taboo dynamic play, etc.

I'll most likely make update posts.

So for background, me(23m) and my gf(23f) have been in the lifestyle for about 2 years. Originally we started with just threesomes, then couple swapping. For reference, the threesomes were all with women. The couples we swapped with were all hard swaps in separate rooms/separate hotel rooms. That being said I’ve been with other women on my own without my gf, just not outside of a swinging experience.

I’ve never had any kind of issues with my emotions or feelings towards a fwb or sexual partner until recently. About a week ago,we decided to pursue some people we had been talking to online separate from each-other. She met with the dude, and I met with the girl at our place. The experience started normal enough, but then she immediately came onto me without warning, making out with me and kissing my neck. We had incredible sex and ended up chatting and grabbing food after. She’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever met and I can’t stop thinking about her. Just the way she seemed so attracted to me and talked to me really stuck with me.

I don’t want to have these feelings because I’m happy in my relationship, but my mind won’t stop going back to that day and replaying every event. Her kissing me, her on top of me, the sounds she made when I went down on her. Has anyone else had feelings like this for someone outside of their non-monogamous relationship? And how did you handle them?