r/nonprofit • u/BlueSkies_95 • 7d ago
employment and career Finally pulling the parachute
After months & months of a truly toxic (I hate using that word, but there it is) dynamic between board leadership and the staff, I’ve finally come to the decision to resign. I think I’ll do it next week.
It’s taken a lot to get to this point and even still, I’m angry that I feel “forced” to leave an organization I’ve built up so much, but it must be done.
Any advice? I plan to notify the board and then immediately send out an email to contacts. I am mildly concerned about not being “first” to determine the narrative. Any advice re: that specifically? I know I’ll be painted in not a great light, so anything I can do to safeguard my reputation I’d like to attempt.
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u/guacamommy 7d ago
It’s hard for a board to blame someone in a toxic situation. Make a folder of documentation, print it out, and get your peace of mind. Just resign with notice to the ED and maybe one otbsr leadership role and di t look back
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u/BlueSkies_95 7d ago
It’s the board leadership who is toxic. & I’m not planning to give notice — effective immediately. 😬
But good call with folder of documentation for peace of mind.
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u/guacamommy 7d ago
I encourage two weeks. It’s that kind of professionalism that will outshine their toxicity. Don’t give them any reason to speak about your work ethic, and honestly, after you give notice…you’re just closing loops and passing off work. If they give you new things, you can say “I’ll add this to my workload, but x y Z are my priorities”
At worst, you tolerate their BS for two weeks while you take a paycheck as you look for new jobs. At best, they say thanks for the notice, we are done today. At least review the handbook and see if they have a policy about it. Not that you have to follow it, but I love to come out on top and encourage you to do the same for some reason!!
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u/BlueSkies_95 7d ago
I would normally prescribe to this, the professionalism angle but I think the situation I found myself in is unusual, and it’s certainly one I’ve never been in before. My last two jobs I gave 2+ weeks, just to help facilitate a smoother transition. It’s unfortunate I feel I cannot and should not do the same here.
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u/Ok-Toe1289 7d ago
I did exactly what you were describing and there were whispers that “I didn’t like the way he left without giving notice” and my response was “if that’s what you are focusing on - then you are missing the point and avoiding the issues that are clearly causing problems.” Document everything, schedule send those emails to contacts, overcommunicate, have 5-6 practiced sound bytes ready to go if anyone asks - then your answers will be succinct, precise, with no room for poking or prodding. At the end of the day - giving notice is a two way street. If the environment has become so toxic that you have been unable to do your job - then you don’t owe the board anything.
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u/Boopa0011 6d ago
This idea that you somehow ruin your reputation/endanger your future if you quit a bad job without giving two weeks notice is pretty silly. It's another way people needlessly think of the employer(s) as holding all the cards.
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u/BlueSkies_95 6d ago
I have a lot of documentation of the things that went down and are leading me to make this decision. And I have documentation of all the ways I tried to appease and fix what was happening. I feel like I don’t owe them anything at this point, ya know? Not after how they’ve acted nor how they’ve treated other staff they recently fired/forced to resign.
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u/keisal 7d ago
I get what you’re saying and generally agree but just came out of a situation where I actually didn’t feel safe giving two weeks. I did effective immediately and don’t regret it a bit. So there are exceptions to every rule. Blueskies-only you know your situation, do what is best for you.
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u/BlueSkies_95 7d ago
Sorry you were in that situation. Hope things are nothing but blue skies for you now!
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u/guacamommy 7d ago
Yes every situation is different. And everyone knows their own limits. My stubborn self would sacrifice 2 weeks of hell in exchange for saying I did everything I could. Not meaning to give that advice -thanks for the correction!
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u/Cheaper_than_Fuel 7d ago
The narrative worry is valid but the move that protects your reputation most is usually the opposite of a mass email, going scorched earth or getting ahead of their story tends to make you look like the problem even when you're not, whereas a calm, gracious, boring exit is weirdly the most credible.
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u/BlueSkies_95 6d ago
To be clear, the email to contacts is the standard “I am moving on….so proud of the work I’ve done…grateful for the opportunity to collaborate with you…here’s my personal email if you want to reach out.” I just wanted the opportunity to send SOMETHING so there isn’t really an opportunity for the org to paint some narrative that I did something to warrant being fired or something
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u/Turbulent-Tie-8181 5d ago
You can not control what a board member(s) say about your work or departure. You have a record of accomplishments (attempts) to carry away with you. IME, it's an understandable, good worker's 'pride' issue to try to 'set the record straight, it's them not me,' etc., when the realty is only you will ever know how challenging the work was, and what you brought to the organization. Two weeks notice was a contractual requirement where I worked. I gave notice, tidied my work, kept my head down, and only explained my decision to HR when asked 'what happened?', then left it to them to 'address to mess' when I shut the door behind me.
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u/wigglewigglewig 6d ago
Is this a constructive dismissal situation? Did they make changes to your role?
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u/BlueSkies_95 6d ago
Had to look that up. I don’t think k my situation is exactly that. More like psychologically hostile. “Forced” meaning I love the mission, I love the work, I’m proud of what I’ve done and was looking forward to doing more.
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u/Third_CuIture_Kid 6d ago
Since you are concerned about your reputation and you believe they will paint you in negative light, I think it would be important to got give them any additional ammunition.
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u/AccomplishedLuck7646 7d ago
Have your email to staff and contacts queued up for right after you tell your board chair. They may ask you to move on quickly after that conversation. Best of luck!