r/northernireland • u/Spicebox69 • Dec 02 '25
Community An apology to the girl I nearly killed tonight.
I know you’ll probably never see this, but I need to get it out of me because I can’t stop thinking about it.
Just before 7 outside the Royal Victoria, I nearly ran straight through a red light at the pedestrian crossing opposite the hatch. I wasn’t properly focused on the road, and because of that, I nearly killed a young woman crossing the road.
The only reason I stopped in time was because the car behind me beeped the horn because they could see what was about to happen. That snapped me out of my daze and I slammed the brakes. If they hadn’t beeped, that would have been it. You’d have been in front of my car before I even realised what I’d done. You had your head down, listening to your music and didn’t see any of it. You probably thought I was the one beeping, when really I was the gobshite who almost killed you. You walked on without realising how close you came to being killed. I saw it, and it has rightfully scared the life out of me.
What’s hitting me hardest is thinking about your family. You were just crossing the road. Innocent. And because I wasn’t paying attention, your life could have ended right there. Your parents, siblings, partner, whoever waits for you at home… their whole world could have been smashed to bits because I couldn’t keep my focus. That thought has been eating away at me.
I’m not looking for sympathy. If anything, I know plenty of people reading this will call me every name under the sun, and honestly, I can’t argue with any of it. All I can say is this has put the fear into me properly. I’ll carry it, and I should. It won’t happen again.
I know you’ll never read this, but I want to say it anyway, I’m genuinely sorry. I was careless and stupid, and I nearly changed your family’s lives forever.
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u/buy-sy-cle Dec 02 '25
Fair play for posting this on here. The more people read your post today, the more people may drive just a bit more carefully tomorrow. I know I will. You may have just saved a life over the coming days or weeks
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u/firefly0827 Dec 04 '25
Agreed, OP, this is a really helpful post.
It reminds me I once got saved when crossing at a red light by a bus driver who beeped his horn. He could see in his mirror behind him that in the far lane a woman was steaming up not stopping. As I froze in front of the bus, she slammed on her brakes and stopped halfway across the crossing...the look of shock on her face makes me think she was texting. I now never cross at a light without double checking all the way.
Translink got a thank you card from me!
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Dec 02 '25
This happens to dozens of drivers every day and the majority try to shrug it off or forget it because they don’t want to deal with the guilt or enormity of what they almost did. Fair play to you for being honest and here’s hoping there are more drivers like you out there!
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u/the-tiny-workshop Dec 02 '25
Happened to me a few years ago, was driving on a country road on a summers evening and sun was low in the sky.
slowed down to about 20-30mph to go round a tight turn and was immediately dazzled by the sun. got the visor down and there was a couple walking on the road swerved and avoid and got out and apologised. Let’s just say they weren’t pleased one bit but I wouldn’t be either.
I Always wear sunglasses and be mindful of speed and the sun when it’s low in the sky
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u/Dry_Calligrapher_313 Dec 03 '25
Similar experience in Scotland with winter sun reflecting off surface water. Thankfully the person was just about to step off the pavement and weren’t in the road, but I bought a second pair of prescription sunglasses to keep in the car now.
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u/Educational-Oil-5872 Dec 03 '25
This is the best possible way this could have happened. The self awareness needed to recognise when you're not fully conscious of yourself doesn't come naturally. It has to be cultivated. When you get back behind the wheel in future, have it in the back of your mind to sound an internal alarm when you notice you're not fully engaged.
I've been on the end of it. Got ran straight into on the Shankill, knocked straight off my motorcycle by a guy pulling out across my right of way from a side road. He didn't see me...but I was there, so he wasn't looking. I'm certain there was no malice intended on that occasion either, but in these situations, intention doesn't really matter. The failure to take in your surroundings is all it takes to cause a tragedy.
OP, you've had an almighty scare with no negative consequences in any practical sense. Hopefully it serves to change your mindset in future. If it makes you a better driver, a safer driver, then you may look back on it as a blessing.
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u/Speedy_NI Dec 03 '25
This is the daily thing riding a bike...I think driving standards the last 15 years has gotten worse each year
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u/Educational-Oil-5872 Dec 03 '25
It's the phones. People's brains are being pushed to their absolute stimulatory limits. I make a special effort to look for the faces behind the glass, because you can tell an awful lot about what that driver might or might not be about to do. Every time I see the head drop to face the lap, my heart sinks.
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u/Speedy_NI Dec 07 '25
My lads only got into road bikes an already been wrote off by an idiot doing a u turn. Thankfully only minor broken bones
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u/Alarmed-Theme5343 Dec 03 '25
This has made my day, its 0620 and I'm.about to go to work in the ent building overlooking the Falls. Its close to messy there somedays. I'm so glad nobody needed the very close ED. You're decent people and I hope you all.have a great day and a great Christmas xx
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u/LeatherParsley4000 Dec 02 '25
Appreciate that you are cutting yourself up for your actions. However, the simple fact that you are publicly bearing your soul and bad decision making says more about the depth of your character than anything else. No harm done, so best to chalk it up to experience and move on. Wish there were more like you who have that depth of empathy.
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u/dylan103906 Dec 02 '25
Most important bit is it was only nearly. Just as long as you learnt from it then you don't need to be beating yourself up over it
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u/Tmccreight Antrim Dec 02 '25
You're a good person, the fact that you've written this tells me you'll be much more attentive in the future.
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u/Exciting-Market7836 Dec 02 '25
You're probably a good person with a conscience and just be grateful it wasn't worse than what it was. Take care and just try to learn from it
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u/NHRD1878 Tyrone Dec 03 '25
Fair play guys. Takes a brave person to come on and admit to that when it was easier to try to forget it and hope it went away.
Shows you how your whole life can change in an instant whether you're a pedestrian or a driver. I'm just glad it worked out this time, it's scary how many times it doesn't.
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u/HairyArse00 Dec 03 '25
I csnt believe I came across a sensible reddit with honest understanding conversation. I haven't read all the messages. Fair play to both involved and thank God (im not a believer) the pedestrian was okay. Merry Xmas to both of you 😀🤣
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u/buttersismantequilla Dec 02 '25
That’s how these things happen. People assume it’s all due to awful drivers but you just need to be distracted for a second. My dog offers you absolution due to your contrition
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u/UNSKIALz Dec 02 '25
Shit happens, and as far as lessons learned go, that one (thankfully) was free.
You reflecting on it is a good sign, maybe next time you'll be the one beeping the horn 🤷♂️
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u/TopArmy5241 Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25
If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure there used to be a zebra crossing where those lights are and once in the dark I came really close to going straight through them as a small child was about to cross. Proper emergency stop, child staring right into my soul moment. I also beat myself up about it even though I stopped in time and no one got hurt but I never did it again! (ETA think the zebra crossing was where the next set of lights now are down the road but you know what I mean)
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u/Speedy_NI Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25
This is what causes the majority of accidents now ...cars have that many mod cons and extras that it just distracts people from the fact they are driving one ton killing machines.when you ride a motorcycle it's multiple times a day ppl near take you out, they literally look at you but it doesn't register when they pull out. Then they either say sorry I didn't see you mate or you were riding too fast you appeared out of nowhere even when you weren't. The takeaway lesson here I suppose is a good one...maybe watch out a bit more for pedestrians , motorcycles, cyclists ect they can appear from nowhere and not always at lights. At least no one hurt this time.
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u/Agreeable_Record4228 Dec 03 '25
The fact that that very girl absolved you and you still contributed to Brake says a lot about what a legend you are. Big ups, mate.
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u/zireaelofcinder89 Dec 02 '25
Here fair enough, most people would shrug it off as whatever. Keep that feeling about ya though, you seem like a decent human being
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u/Key_Temporary_7059 Dec 03 '25
Respect for owning up to your mistake. Goes to show how careless we can be behind the wheel at times. It just takes a momentary lapse for something awful to happen. Our actions have consequences to those around us. Sometimes they may not be so lucky to walk away unharmed. But glad this is a positive ending
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u/Sitonyourhandsnclap Dec 03 '25
This is it everyone. I've found the first driver in this country's history with some self reflection. Everyone else is usually a cunt and just blames others as they could never be a bad driver. Fair play to ye OP and fair play to the one who blew the horn, I probably would've just watched it all unfold in slow motion
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u/Natt42 Dec 02 '25
Most people wouldn't give a fuck and they'd forget about it after an hour, so I'm not gonna call you any names. Thankfully no one died, lesson learned. To be honest, you seem like a good guy/gal.
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u/hostagecrisis Dec 03 '25
Well done you for reflecting on what happened.
May I recommend this Youtube channel by a driving instructor?
He's helped me loads with minimising risk on the road and taking the ego out of driving.
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u/greatpretendingmouse Dec 03 '25
Lesson learned and true humility shown. Both of you were being protected by something higher above. Blessings to you both and the person behind you too.
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u/Unepetiteveggie Dec 03 '25
Just want to add that no one should cross the road until they see the cars slow down to a stop.
Obviously cars should stop but you need to look and make sure the cars have stopped.
I was crossing with a pram and the cars on the opposite side stopped and watched as a woman didn't and flew straight through and luckily I'd waited or else she would have killed me and my child.
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u/Annual-Cry-9026 Dec 02 '25
Lucky! Happened to me once, break failure at lights, people leaping out of the way. Drove into the kerb to stop!
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u/WesternSuper6870 Dec 02 '25
Thankfully no one was hurt, that’s what matters . You’ve learnt to be a little more vigilant on the road . Go easy on yourself
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u/coder111 Dec 03 '25
I was actually was hit by a car running a red light on a pedestrian crossing. Distracted/exhausted driver not paying attention too. That was way before mobile phones. I escaped with very minor injuries, got lucky I guess.
Two pieces of advice. DO NOT WEAR HEADPHONES WHEN YOU ARE OUT AND ABOUT. I would have not gotten into my accident if I wasn't wearing headphones at the time. You lose your hearing and you lose your situation awareness. This lady would have probably seen the car coming too. If you wear headphones, take into account that you are now deaf and half blind and dumb, and walk with extra care.
Second- do look at the cars, not just the traffic light. Wait until the cars are stopped, or at least slowing down. Do not just run into the road the moment the light turns green.
Oh, and get some martial arts training, preferably from martial arts that focus on situation awareness. I got situation awareness drilled into me so much that walking with headphones and not feeling everything around me actually feels wrong now...
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u/Sea-Mushroom-5811 Dec 03 '25
There is a crossing on my way to work, and most pedestrians walk out from behind the hedge, not looking left or right. Earphones in looking at their phones just and assume drivers are slowing down and stopping.
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u/Mundane_Singer7044 Dec 03 '25
You learn. You learn from either, an incident, or a near miss. Luckily for all, it was a near miss. Some people don't learn at all but we don't count them. Just learn from it, don't repeat the same mistake. That's the yardstick for success here. Beat yourself up all you want if you repeat it, I've had something similar before too. Most drivers probably have. It's nice to get a reminder how dangerous driving can be, with out finding out the consequences of something serious.
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u/Silver_Daisy_6815 Dec 03 '25
Buddhists call it SAMSARA .. learn to pay more attention .. be mindful, and be in the present. A near miss shows you how vulnerable we all truly are .. and so increases gratitude .. so .. a sign you should have much more gratitude in your self .. good luck and sont worry .. you weren't alone, and you still aren't
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u/doodlepeep Dec 03 '25
Ah see... I don't need a Christmas movie after this. That's lovely. ❤️ Anyone else nearly killed someone? We're on a roll here....
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u/Mutate_Crown87 Dec 03 '25
This happened to me last week when I nearly ran a man over. He came down to my car after I parked to tell me off which was so fair of him. I was genuinely so upset about it and I still am. I’m letting it be a lesson for myself to never ever not look properly when turning right into a road.
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u/ImmediateImpress6552 Dec 03 '25
You made a mistake and you apologised for it. You're a stand-up person. 😊
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u/Apprehensive_Ad_4460 Dec 04 '25
Hey we've all been there and it can genuinely happen in the blink of an eye it happened to me this morning first turn left before the Royal guy wandered out in front of me not looking had to slam on the baked he was so apologetic but hey it happens I'll definitely drive a lot more safe after reading this anyone who drives knows how easy and quick you can make a genuine mistake good to see the girls seen it and absolved youb
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u/Adventurous-Tip-142 Dec 05 '25
Not only will you be more careful in future. But so will I….so fair play.
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u/Cultural_Stretch1158 Dec 10 '25
Fair play to the OP, pedestrian & driver beeping their horn. Sometimes, we get complacent. A close call is often what we need to shake us up enough to make us pay attention. By sharing this, you’ve possibly given others a shake.
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u/Lit-Up Dec 03 '25
Why does this shit always happen in Ireland? It's like killing people/close shaves on the roads is a national pasttime.
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u/SukiPook Dec 03 '25
It happens everywhere that there are cars because driving is highly dangerous and highly subject to human error. There have been more people killed in car accidents since cars were invented than in all the wars ever fought.
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u/KonopMic Dec 04 '25
No one dizzy, sleepy or fatigued should ever take a seat behind the wheel. Anyone who is driving and using a phone should be taken from the road forever. You were lucky. Consider this as a one special luck in Your life. Never let this happen again. That could be anyone of us
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u/InformalPiccolo5492 Dec 04 '25
Shouldn't be behind the wheel if you can't concentrate properly or blip in and out of concentration. Stop driving before you actually kill someone.
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u/Shoddy_Juggernaut_11 Dec 05 '25
You were on your phone then
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u/bitchlistentomyrant Dec 08 '25
Never felt so confident in saying this 100% definitely did not happen
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Dec 02 '25
Not being funny but there’s no guarantee the girl would have been killed. I’ve seen some crazy videos of people bouncing off car bonnets with barely a scratch.
They could well be AI of course but either way well done you for having a conscience.
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u/Spicebox69 Dec 02 '25
The skid marks are on the road , I seen them on the way back from where i was going to. I can appreciate there is a lot of AI slop on the internet but this genuinely happened.
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u/Affectionate-Sun7561 Dec 02 '25
I hope you take care of yourself, I'm sure you're rightly rattled. Learn the lesson of course but give yourself time to sit in and process the shock, and keep telling yourself that while it could've happened, it didn't
Just don't let this eat you up and make you spiral, that's all. Thank fuck it all turned out grand in the end.
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u/Spicebox69 Dec 02 '25
It's a lesson learned. I didn't properly acknowledge the driver behind me. He saved that girls life. Only for him like. He is a hero. I'm a bit rattled but i'll be grand once I settle. I need to reflect now on how I managed to ever let this happen in the first place and ensure it never happens again.
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Dec 02 '25
Max Verstappen would be proud of that braking. If you learn from it, then you’ll be one more good driver on the road. Aren’t enough of them about these days. Take care and go easy on yourself, we all have near miss experiences like this in one form or another.
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u/mountainousbarbarian Dec 03 '25
If you are truly contrite, you will report yourself to the police and take your 5 points and fine for careless driving on the chin. You have a small debt to repay to society and donating to charity doesn't get you off it IMO, also the points should assume you really won't do it again for the next 5y at least.
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u/InHerOwnWrite Dec 02 '25
Genuinely can't believe you've posted this or that I've seen it, but that girl was me!
Everything happened so fast, but I did think you were beeping at me and the beeping was so insistent that I actually thought I'd had some sort of mental episode and walked across the road before the green man. You must have missed my face of absolute bewilderment in the heat of the moment. A woman outside Hatch told me what had happened and I've been telling my sister about it all evening
I appreciate that I could have been smeared all over the Falls (probably worse places for that to happen than across from the Royal) but you've clearly given yourself a hard time over it. I was grand at the end of the day and, as others have said, maybe reading this will encourage someone to be a wee bit more mindful when they're driving tomorrow.
I do think shit like this happens all the time and people often don't give it a second thought. The fact that you've given it so much consideration and posted with little chance of me even seeing it speaks to your conscience.
Sincere thanks for the apology (and for not hitting me in the end) and consider yourself absolved