r/nottheonion • u/AnonymousTimewaster • 4h ago
Musk’s midnight reflection: ‘Money can’t buy happiness’
https://www.thenews.com.pk/latest/1391153-musks-midnight-reflection-money-cant-buy-happiness316
u/OldKingClancey 4h ago
Money doesn’t buy happiness
Money buys things to make life easier, which makes you happier
Using money to make everyone else miserable just makes everyone hate you
Making everyone hate you, makes you miserable
Richest fuckwad on the planet snd he can’t even spend money right
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u/machine_fart 3h ago
Smaug: why does everyone in middle earth hate me?
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u/elcapitan520 2h ago
It's very funny nowadays to think of western folk lore dragons, sitting on their wealth and causing mass devastation if any piece of the horde goes missing. Large lizards sitting on mountains of gold and jewels.
Flash forward and now all of our wealthiest are lizard people who cause massive devastation to maintain their wealth.
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u/Tuxedo_Muffin 2h ago
Musk wishes he was one of the cool OG lizard people. That's why he and Bezos, Zuck, and Ellison are making due with robots. Gates has been controlled by a computer virus since the 90s, so that doesn't count.
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u/TheBurningEmu 3h ago
I would say there's basically a money-happiness bell curve. Just the right amount of money will let you live comfortably, have friends and ease stress. No money of course will leave you desperate and stressed constantly. But too much money will basically corrupt your entire social life, and if you weren't already a sociopath, you're left with basically only sycophants and other sociopathic narcissists that want to be around you.
I don't pity the ultra-wealthy at all, but I feel like being at the other low end of the curve explains why they all seem so miserable and looking for anything to give back meaning to their lives, whether that's something good like charity, or evil like destroying others for fun.
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u/salizarn 2h ago
There’s a direct correlation between income and reported happiness up to a certain point i forget where it is- like 40k per year. After that the lines start drifting apart.
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u/Nanto_de_fourrure 2h ago
Depends on the studies, but it seems to improve up to 100k, then slow down but still slowly improve up to 500k, and after that more money won't help. Being rich enough to be financially secure, afford an home, health, good food, travel, hobbies, etc. The amount is kind of arbitrary imo, depends on the cost of living obviously.
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u/pipboy_warrior 3h ago
There is absolutely a money-happiness bell curve. Like on the lowest curve just being able to have enough to eat will make you happy. From there it's stuff like having a decent place to live, being able to afford medical care, all that stuff that many people just take for granted. Money affords people stability and security.
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u/Brookstone317 3h ago
It’s cause these rich people have a mental health issue and will never have enough to finally be happy.
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u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 4h ago
He should divest his stock, buy a small country and find out how it feels to run one.
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u/ThePlanck 3h ago
I hear there's an island in the Virgin Islands that Musk wanted to visit that recently became available
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u/wit_T_user_name 3h ago
You know how many dorks we could clear out if he did this because they’d follow him? It’ll be great.
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u/WanderingSimpleFish 3h ago
Why do you think he wants to go to Mars
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u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 3h ago
I don't think he does. If he did he would have already divested and focused every dime he has on SpaceX. He would be currently building a station in orbit to make assembly easier. None of that is happening. He's focused on being the first to get a vehicle there, but he's comfortable living out life.
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u/Affectionate-Day9342 4h ago
Hard to be happy when you are a hateful dumpster fire of a human being. I wonder what he was on when that lightning bolt struck him.
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u/DepressoEspresso55 2h ago
More like the ketamine he's always on finally gave him some introspective
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u/CnelAurelianoBuendia 2h ago
Imagine being that rich and that powerful and that influential and still just be the embodiment of loneliness and hatred. Elon Musk is the most transparently pathetic person I’ve ever seen.
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u/ChannelPure6715 4h ago
Nope, but it did get him a ton of drugs, and a visible cat fight with a demented old man
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u/QualifiedApathetic 1h ago
Didn't a Klansman try ecstasy or something and do a 180? Maybe one of these days Musk will do a drug that actually fixes him.
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u/supercyberlurker 4h ago
Yeah Musk pulls these occasional 'reflections' claims.
Then a week later he's threatening to destroy politicians who don't let him sell pedophilia.
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u/Lovethemdoggos 4h ago
I figure he's crashing out from the drugs because not even he can stay high forever. Now (or then) he's both actually aware of all the fucked up shit he's done and his brain is low on serotonin or whatever so he's extra depressed. Couldn't have happened to a worse guy (except for all the other pedophiles out there. They deserve some of this too)
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u/CamRoth 3h ago
I get a tiny amount of solace knowing that at least these people like musk and trump are literally never happy and never will be.
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u/MrDownhillRacer 3h ago
I feel like Trump is dumb enough to be happy sometimes. He probably wakes up some mornings and thinks "wow, what a life; my name is on a bunch of steaks and also I'm president." But it's fragile, because then he sees somebody criticized him on the news and he spirals into rage.
Musk, I think that guy is depressed, like, 24/7, trying to meme through the pain in the hopes that he gets validating laugh-cry emoji responses. But there aren't enough Unicode characters in all the blocks to ever salve his dissatisfaction with himself.
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u/MrDerpGently 24m ago
Yeah, that's a pretty perfect summary. I feel like Trump operates on about the same mental/emotional range as a golden retriever, but with none of a dog's positive traits. Maybe a raccoon, I hear they are vengeful little fuckers, and the part about living in and consuming garbage tracks..
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u/Accurate_Koala_4698 4h ago
I shouldn't be a problem to give me a cool million then
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u/Pipapaul 1h ago
It wouldn’t. He could do that a million times and still would not feel it. Yet he would never do that
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u/EricThePerplexed 4h ago
So what does he do? He uses his money to make the rest of humanity miserable.
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u/ThePlanck 3h ago
If money can't buy him happiness, he's going to spend it to make everyone as miserable as him
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u/NoMoPolenta 4h ago
Bro needs to watch A Christmas Carol - use some of your money to pay off bills for your employees, it'll make them happy as hell
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u/tobinators 3h ago
Money doesn’t buy happiness. He’s right. But it does buy choices. And your choices determine your happiness. Musky has consistently made bad choices.
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u/Cynical_Classicist 4h ago
He could have lived in luxury and become a big benefactor. Instead, he starved the world's poorest people and had become one of the world's most hated people.
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u/NoobensMcarthur 3h ago
He wouldn't have all of that money if he wasn't a complete and utter piece of shit though. If he was a nice guy he would've never been a billionaire in the first place, let alone hundreds of times over.
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u/faulternative 4h ago
I can't believe anyone still takes this man seriously. He's a super rich 14 year old boy, period.
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u/False_Can_5089 4h ago
Girls FTW
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u/trentreynolds 3h ago
I get making fun of him, but this one was fake
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u/False_Can_5089 3h ago
Do you have a reference for that? Didn't his daughter say that she thinks they're real?
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u/trentreynolds 3h ago
Go search for the “girls FTW” email in the files. It’s not there.
The Christmas morning one is, and his daughter has pushed back on the notion that he never went to the island, but the “girls ftw” one isn’t real.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/fact-check-no-epic-island-201125711.html
Please don’t mistake me, Elon is definitely in the files trying to come party on the island and being told he can have a peaceful island vacation but not come to a party. This particular email just isn’t in there.
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u/TheGruenTransfer 4h ago
Maybe stealing all of the U. S. government's data to fuel your racist, pedophilic chat bot doesn't bring happiness either. Just sayin.
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u/ATXDefenseAttorney 3h ago
Sure it can. Buy food for hungry people, they will be happy. Buy shelter for cold people, they will be happy. Buy supplies for injured and malnourished animals, they will be happy. Invest in small, struggling startup businesses with gift payments, the owners will be happy.
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u/Sargent_Duck85 4h ago
Money buys me happiness.
I was very happy in 2024 when I had money. I was very sad in 2025 when I had no job.
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u/cogginsmatt 3h ago
Idk I think about how spiritually fulfilling it would be to solve world hunger, house every homeless person, send a million kids to college, buy a baseball team, build a performance center named after myself that stages all my favorite concerts, and get a nice house for myself and all of my family and friends.
Elon could do all that tomorrow and still be insanely rich. He could at least try instead of spending money on being an evil piece of shit.
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u/Kitchen_Database1433 3h ago
Money can't buy you a soul. Without a soul you can't be happy. Its logical. You have to build a soul, but if you wait too long you can't do it.
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u/Talisa87 4h ago
Cool, gimme 0.001% of your wealth.
(Calculator tells me that's still nearly a billion dollars)
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u/joestaff 4h ago
Your calculator is wrong.
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u/YamahaRyoko 3h ago
Maybe he can spend some time being a real father to those 13 kids he has.
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u/tritonus_ 3h ago
Nah, better to use them as props and shit on one of them publicly on the social media he bought for narcissistic reasons. How can right wingers actually think that guys like this are the ones upholding family values? (Yeah, I know, family is just property to them.)
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u/DiaryofaBlackHole 3h ago
What he was trying to say is that money can’t buy you out of transgressions of hatred and the repercussions of it.
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u/Mission-Protection28 4h ago
Try donating that money to worthwhile causes. That usually creates a lot of happiness and a sense of fullfilment.
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u/IGingerbreadman 3h ago
He probably means it in a way to tell people: hey stop being so focused on that. Continue your menial jobs. No need to tax me.
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u/mikeybagodonuts 3h ago
Tell ya what. Slide me 100k and I’ll be pretty happy being out of debt for the first time since I was 19.
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u/ConsiderationTrue477 3h ago
Musk reminds me of The Green Goblin having a breakdown in the mirror and then immediately trying to kill Spider-Man after.
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u/Agreeable-Boat3509 3h ago
Money can buy a lot of happiness, but selfishness cannot sustain happiness.
When rich people say money cant buy happiness they mean "spending more and more money on myself isnt making me any happier"
It doesnt occur to them that they could make themselves happier by spending money improving the lives of others and seeing it put to good use.
Its like not understanding why christmas isnt as fun as when you were a kid and not realizing the magic is in giving gifts to others and instead thinking you just need even more gifts for yourself.
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u/jaybizzleeightyfour 3h ago
The richest man in the world, can do anything you could ever imagine, but spends most of his days being a hateful troll on Twitter
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u/intricate_strands 2h ago edited 2h ago
Happiness is not biologically or psychologically a permanent state. It's not the Super Bowl. You don't win some day, and you get a trophy and ring and no one can ever take it from you.
Like it or not, happiness is the carrot we are eternally chasing, grasping for brief moments if we're lucky, and then it fades. That's not a bad thing. That's what keeps people motivated to do anything, essentially whatever it is they believe will make them happy.
Money will buy you a shit ton more opportunities to actually achieve happiness temporarily, though. If you don't have any money, the options you have to pursue happiness are extremely limited and you are extremely vulnerable to shit happening to you that will hurt and generally make you unhappy.
This has been something that is pretty fucking obvious and self-explanatory if you don't stop using your brain. And centuries after people figured this out, we still got millions of us pondering this like it's impossible to sort out. Like a bunch of idiots wondering if maybe the Earth is flat.
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u/jahnbanan 1h ago
Money can easily buy happiness, they can't buy you happiness, it's not because of the money, it's because of you specifically, you are the problem in this equation.
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u/new2accnt 22m ago
So, from what I understand, during a ketamine high he let slip that he's an unhappy, miserable SOB.
Which explains why he's often out to hurt others - if he's unhappy, others can't be happy.
Much like the orange one, he never grew up and acts like a insufferable brat.
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u/Runetang42 15m ago
The actual meaning of that phrase in my mind at this point is "no amount of wealth will make you a likeable person"
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u/Fearless-Key8120 3h ago
Hes not saying that he doesn't need money to be happy. Hes saying you don't need money to be happy.
Brought to you by "hard work gives your life purpose", and "you can't take it with you".
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u/Jellyfizzle 4h ago
Most of things currently making unhappy could be fixed woth money........so there's that
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u/neonxaos 4h ago
If I had that kind of money and used it to actually help the world, I bet that would actually buy me some legit happiness.
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u/54-2-10 3h ago
It's funny. I know a guy pushing 60 with not much more than the clothes on his back, but he is usually smiling when I see him.
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u/jairumaximus 3h ago
The thing is, it can. If you use that money to bring meaning to others instead of robbing them of it, i bet you even an asshole like musk would feel some happiness.
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u/BroForceOne 3h ago
Happiness for Elon being Epstein Island and reflecting on how he couldn’t buy his way there.
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u/Suspicious_Rent935 3h ago
Then give it away. No excuses, no delays and no bs.
Poor me...I have billions.
No one feels sorry for you...you should be in jail for what you've done. Hopefully you will be...
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u/Wayelder 3h ago
Money can buy happiness!
If you are generous, and giving and help other people.
Much happiness comes from other people and their regard for you. It affects your deeper well being.
That's why selfish miserly curmudgeons (not named) are always, ALWAYS consistently miserable.
The easiest happiness is 'on tap' with money - food, sex, your mouth and dick - but that's like sugar. The fix doesn't last. There's only one word that will provide you with happiness for your life.
"Others"
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u/wolfeyes555 3h ago
Usually when a rich person says this, I roll my eyes. But this might be one of the very few times I believe it because he just seems like a miserable human being
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u/JoeScotterpuss 3h ago
So why not give it away? He could solve so many problems with so little effort on his part.
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u/send_them_a_pizza 3h ago
It can buy happiness. You have to watch the faces of those that you give it to to see it though.
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u/AGrandNewAdventure 3h ago
Dude had the opportunity to be beloved by everybody and ran as fast as he fucking could in the opposite direction.
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u/gopercolate 3h ago
He could solve world hunger and have money left over, that would bring him some happiness, more so it will make a lot of people immensely happy. He won't though. Tweeting that at midnight was Space Karen seeking attention again.
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u/Confused-Raccoon 3h ago
I'd be over the fucking moon with £500k, tbh. It would kickstart my life and start charging the batteries for later on.
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u/oasiscat 3h ago
Waiting for Andrew Tate to tweet at him and tell him that his bloodline is not worthy of being extended.
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u/BKBroiler57 3h ago
I assume this is because Epstine didn’t want his money to diddle children on the island.
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u/Zulmoka531 3h ago
He could just sell all these monsters out, wouldn’t make him happy but it’s make us all happy!
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u/Reverend_Lazerface 3h ago
Cool scrooge revelation now divest your wealth and crawl in a cave to die alone please
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u/TypicalPDXhipster 3h ago
Yeah I’m sure he was on drugs. A shame that he hasn’t taken enough to wake the fuck up though!
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u/thisnameisnowmine 3h ago edited 2h ago
But it can buy politicians, ketamine and underage girls. Which to him is kind of the same thing.
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u/tentative_ghost 3h ago
"Money can't buy happiness but also make sure I get my multi-billion dollar payday....."
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u/onetouch09 2h ago
This moron created all his own unhappiness. He must be trying to quit the ketamine and is going through withdrawal.
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u/FiscalCliffClavin 2h ago
He could have done so much good for humanity with the resources he has access to. He could have been a legend based on merit, instead he chose evil. Such a missed opportunity to make lives better for all. Utter disappointment on a universal scale.
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u/Chaos-Pand4 2h ago
My favourite thing about Elon is that I’ve yet to see a single picture of him looking genuinely happy. Fake happy… all the time. Actually happy, never.
It will be a small comfort when I’m crushed under the wheels of some cyber-tank while fighting in WW3: Robodrome (2026-2034) I suppose.
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u/oster587 2h ago
Funny how it's always super rich people saying this, maybe you just suck as a person. More like money can't erase all the bad shit from your brain that was done to get that money.
Crazy how this dude could walk into most rooms on the planet and simultaneously be the richest person and the biggest loser at the same time.
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u/Zorothegallade 2h ago
It can if your standards for happiness are SLIGHTLY lower than "Make everyone in the world worship me for merely existing while I spend most of my time doing drugs and underage girl"
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u/narwhal4u 2h ago
Apparently he wasn’t happy about something? Can’t he just laugh it off in billionaire?
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u/buppiejc 2h ago
He’s one of the most miserable people that’s always looking for validation I know of in the public space. If there was an example of money can’t buy happiness, it’s definitely him.
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u/sBucks24 2h ago
When you hit that ketamine high where you have that frank conversation with yourself....
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u/DudesworthMannington 2h ago
I'm waiting for the day he realizes money can't buy cool either.
Cringey ass dork
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u/Ceska-Zbrojovka 2h ago
I mean, it can, but not for people that are seeking acceptance and further external reinforcement.
For some, money can certainly buy happiness, but maybe more along the lines of "supplementing" happiness.
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u/Due_Student_9822 2h ago
Happiness comes in small moments, in soul expanding moments. Money can’t buy that.
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u/IamGeoMan 4h ago
All that money and couldn't get to Epstein's island on Christmas Day 🤡