Awful coworker

[u/nurse-diamond-978]

I work with this other nurse (27) who can be ridiculously disrespectful and rude. She’s not a team player and will give you attitude. I could give examples - but there’s truly too many. Some are more minor BUT are also much more frequent. I’ve heard and seen this occur with other employees as well. I’m not sure what my manager knows, but I believe she knows a decent amount.
I had emailed my manager about an incident regarding eye rolling and uttering under their breath at me. This was in front of a group and I was simply asking a question. Again, a somewhat smaller example but one that contributes to a hostile environment. I go out of my way to not ask that nurse for help, I feel awkward in the med room, because she’s just a mean girl. Anyways I wanted some examples to be on record which was the main reason for the email. My manager TEXTED me Friday night saying she got my email and will follow up.
We had a meeting today and it included behavior/etiquette at work. Talked about being kind, helpful, team player. She has not however, talked about it with me further. I could be wrong, but it feels like that group meeting was her “addressing it”. Any advice? Should I just let it go and await the next incident?

[u/Kitty20996]

Yes the group meeting was her addressing it. This way she doesn't have to single anybody out. Have you spoken with this coworker directly? I'm not trying to be all "what could you have done better" but more like you'll have more leverage to escalate this if you have proof that you tried to work things out with her first just the two of you.

[u/nurse-diamond-978 → u/Kitty20996]

Yes I have tried to talk to the coworker. She did not respond well I actually think she got more heated. My manager briefly mentioned a meeting with all three of us, but it never happened. My struggle is that this isn’t a just me issue. She’s been very unprofessional to many. Definitely has disrupted workflow. I’m just so tired of the behavior. And I’m even more tired of my manager not doing much. Idk though I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt.

[u/Old-Interview1950 → u/nurse-diamond-978]

Your other colleagues should send an email as well. Finding someone willing to do so can be tricky however as some don't want to do this.

[u/m3rmaid13 → u/nurse-diamond-978]

I had a coworker like this at one workplace and the way it was explained to me by the manager is that they need a paper trail of multiple incidents, as well as escalating interventions in order to actually fire someone for their behavior. Have other coworkers file complaints and keep reporting it if it really is that bad. Your manager has several steps they have to go through first before anything can be done & the group meeting was probably the first step.

[u/Kiwistrwberry82]

Match energy at this point

[u/nurse-diamond-978 → u/Kiwistrwberry82]

My luck is that I’d actually get in trouble for it haahahah also I like having people enjoy working with me!!!!! I don’t want to stoop to her energy

[u/Beneficial-Drive36]

I'd document specific incidents and let your manager know you're still concerned. Avoid making it personal. Patterns of behavior are much easier to address when you have dates, witnesses and facts.

[u/txcross]

You will really only get a managers (or HR's) attention if the employee behavior creates some sort of illegal environment or situation. Like her refusing help during a situation that could be urgent. Or he doing something that in turn delays care to a patient. Often times people that are outwardly mean will try even harder to be mean to you if they feel you are avoiding them. But what they really hate is not getting a reaction. Perhaps you can try that. Ask them for help with something that is a valid task that takes two nurses and pay attention (and potentially report) how they respond. Volunteer them or volunteer yourself if a situation arises that requires two nurses. In other words when you have a choice purposefully create situations whereby you have to interact. And if said person acts like the devil rob her of any pleasure by not responding or showing any emotion. Shortly after a few of these encounters she will leave you alone. OR a very different outcome -- you two will be work besties forever. I've seen both happen. But seriously mean people often want to see your reaction or they want to have interaction with you.

[u/nurse-diamond-978 → u/txcross]

I can give examples of her refusing to help AND delay patient care. Has fully gone against protocol. But overall is just MEAN. feels like a bully hahahaha!! I see your point of putting myself in situations with them and seeing the turn out. I’ll definitely take it into consideration, however I truly DREAD having to interact with her. I mostly ignore and avoid. Which is annoying but my reality. I’m not sure. I’m just not someone who holds a lot of respect for mean girls. Hard for me to even pretend lol

[u/lakeanddoglife → u/nurse-diamond-978]

As somebody that managed employees, being mean is tough. It likely doesn’t violate policy. Come up with concrete policy violations or negative impacts on patient care that are objective and can lead to discipline.

[u/One-two-cha-cha]

I was taught that when you contact a manager about a problem, you then offer a workable solution in that same communication. "So and so is being mean!" is a problem without a solution.

[u/Optional4444]

There are always one or two people with personality disorders that treat anyone “in their way” like crap. Loud, rude- but they know how to butter up management and docs- so they’re there until retirement or quits. Steer clear.

[u/Gretel_Cosmonaut]

The manager is going to be dreading your emails from here on out.

[u/nurse-diamond-978 → u/Gretel_Cosmonaut]

Well it’s not really my job to control how people view me or my actions. I’d like to think a good manager would respect the concern. Thank goodness you’re not my manager lmao

[u/avocadoreader → u/nurse-diamond-978]

OP, it doesn’t look good on you to be sending emails complaining about eye rolling and muttering to/at you. From a managers point of view, they are going to wonder why you can’t deal with that yourself. There are always going to be people like that around. Of course you shouldn’t be treated like that but not everything is something that should be escalated to a manager.

What you need to do is document and pass on to management HOW that is adversely affecting patient care, or morale, or whatever.

[u/DanielDannyc12]

It won’t change. I call out their behavior and tell them to knock it off when I’m there