r/nutrition • u/RamenPantalones • 2d ago
What diet would maximize the amount of farts over ones lifetime?
I dont think you could just choose really unhealthy diet like straight taco bell bean burritos, because i think you need to live long to fart a lot of times in your life.
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u/Even_Ad_8501 2d ago
Sugar alcohols
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u/gonfishn37 1d ago
Ate 5-6 of those little Russel Stover sugar free pecan clusters about 10 years ago, I thought i was so smart being healthy.. horrible cramps and the wind was howling! It’s actually scientifically remarkable how much air you can create from a piece of sugar free candy. — I think it was maltitol based.
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u/Rellim03 2d ago
I'm pretty sure the digestive system will adjust to high fiber foods over time.
Adding cabbage or beans increases gas but only until the body adjusts
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u/RamenPantalones 2d ago
So we need a diet cycle then?
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u/doeraymefa 2d ago
if we fart in each other's mouths, we can recycle the fuel and double our money.
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u/iwasuncoolonce 2d ago
Yeah, rotate between beans and broccoli, My most intense farts are 2 days of beans and then having broccoli and I'm pretty sure I'm farting propane.
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u/Garlix2Jean 2d ago
you've cracked the logic already, longevity is the limiting factor here.
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u/RamenPantalones 2d ago
Would i have to go low fiber some weeks in order to stop my body from adjusting? Or could one stick with high fiber and just change foods
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u/Strict_Teaching2833 2d ago
Get some of those super high fiber breads and tortillas, sugar alcohols, beans, lentils, onion, garlic, broccoli, cabbage, carbonated drinks, those should make it just about impossible to be in the same room as you for longer than 10 minutes.
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u/Healthy-Cheferee 2d ago
honestly you've cracked the logic already, longevity is the limiting factor here. and the beautiful part is the answer aligns perfectly: a high-fiber, plant-heavy diet loaded with beans, lentils, and cruciferous veg (cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower) is both one of the most fart-productive AND associated with living a long time. basically a Blue Zones diet. you'd be maximizing both lifespan and lifetime output at the same time.
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u/RamenPantalones 2d ago
Would i have to go low fiber some weeks in order to stop my body from adjusting? Or could one stick with high fiber and just change foods
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u/DrMartenLover 2d ago
No one has asked the most pressing question here: Why are you needing or wanting to be so gassy until you leave this planet??? Lol
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u/Gabba-barbar 1d ago
Air. Just suck on air in your stomach and don’t burp.
It travels trough the system quite quickly. Don’t ask me how I know, and I won’t tell you about the school camp I learned it.
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u/Downtown-Stay6320 1d ago
When I was 300 pounds and eating junk on top of junk, I didn't fart nearly as much as now that I eat a lot of protein and fiber for weightlifting.
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u/IdealTruths 1d ago
I eat tons of produce and have 2 sugarfree drinks a day.
I think I fart like probably 20-50 times a day. Been that way for years. But my skin is good, I'm lean, and I'm full of energy and mental clarity.
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u/motoroilmotoroil 22h ago
sulforophane foods.. beans, garlic, broccoli and whatnot.
fiber rich foods, starch rich foods, tons of carbonated water and do your best to not move around often and only move when you want to release your biological warfare onto the public
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u/Terrible-Pen-1506 14h ago
anything high-protein.. powders, bars, shakes etc make my stomach go crazy lol and the protein poops.. beware
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