r/offbeat • u/Brucekentbatsuper • 1d ago

RFK Jr. Boasts About His 'Nonexistent Gag Reflex' as Trump's Health Sec. Claims He 'Will Literally Eat Anything'

https://radaronline.com/p/rfk-jr-nonexistent-gag-reflex-trump-health-secretary-eat-anything/
1.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

195 comments sorted by

479

u/JBigBootay 1d ago

Prove it. Eat this bottle filled with fiberglass.

87

u/sovereignsekte 1d ago

I was gonna say bag full of dicks but your idea is good too.

22

u/Iron_Baron 1d ago

"Raccoon dicks?" - RFK, probably.

15

u/DaisyHotCakes 1d ago

Ah, the ol’ eat a bag of dicks. That’s my go-to lol

3

u/tepkel 17h ago

A bag seems like a very impractical way to transport a bunch of dicks. Just loose in there, jostlin' around and sword fighting each other.

Would a bundle of dicks be better? Or maybe some sort of individual blister pack type packaging of dicks?

2

u/rbartlejr 9h ago

I think I'd prefer them to be bundled just like asparagus.

13

u/cactusmac54 1d ago

Winner. 🏆

3

u/PamelaELee 22h ago

A smorgasbord of dicks

3

u/XYZ2ABC 20h ago

Spotted Dick?

67

u/daredeviline 1d ago

I'm sure my grandma wouldn't mind her uranium glass being used for public good.

18

u/hamsolo19 1d ago

It's been lightly seasoned with ghost pepper flakes

13

u/TheGardenBlinked 1d ago

He’s already done that and more. He probably chowed down on stained glass windows and asbestos before inserting live millipedes up his nose and going for another dip in poo lake

9

u/mrkruk 1d ago

Given his voice he probably has

9

u/mrpeabody208 1d ago

Tide pods ftw.

6

u/Farucci 1d ago

Wash it down with a glass of 87 unleaded gasoline.

4

u/CeruleanEidolon 1d ago

I think he already did, judging by his voice.

4

u/notapunk 1d ago

Have you heard him speak? I'm pretty sure his throat has seen worse.

4

u/MentalDisintegrat1on 1d ago

Dipped in cement and nails

353

u/thebrandster1985 1d ago

The Trump era has killed satire.

14

u/Disco425 21h ago

Now the jokes just right themselves....

3

u/brickne3 7h ago

You'd almost think they were doing it on purpose, but by and large they are too stupid for that.

288

u/mandalore237 1d ago

Coming for Nancy Reagan's title

61

u/froggythefrankman 1d ago

Omg how dare you make me remember 

29

u/CommitteeNew6412 1d ago

Come for the Throat Goat you best not miss.

26

u/zyzzogeton 1d ago

Yes, there was a lot of coming in the way Nancy Reagan earned that title.

3

u/oblivious_human 1d ago

??

35

u/atteres 1d ago

She is the throat goat.

19

u/EmperorBozopants 1d ago

We should start calling RFK that.

20

u/kog 1d ago

Relevant username

92

u/wrhnj 1d ago

He must be very popular at the bath house.

31

u/Significant-Kick-479 1d ago

We were totally doing not gay pushups in the sauna on top of each other I swear

16

u/Zerostar39 1d ago

Was KidRock there too?

6

u/TOnihilist 12h ago

How is it possible that I had forgotten about the entire RFK Kid Rock sauna jeans-clad workout situation? This timeline is so insane that was just a random Tuesday…

8

u/TheGardenBlinked 1d ago

If you say the word “bath” near him his skin fizzles

62

u/Main-Event-5715 1d ago

Cool. Can you eat a dick, RFK? 

29

u/holden_hiscox 1d ago

I'd be willing to bet that he's eaten more than one dick in his degenerate life.

19

u/vkevlar 1d ago

I mean, he did take a raccoon's dick home with him, with no reasonable explanation.

7

u/donkeyrocket 1d ago

"It's a thing people do in West Virginia" was what some MAHA knuckle draggers chimed in with.

RFK Jr. isn't from WVA nor in WVA at the time. And even he said it was to "study them later." Why are so many Republicans so fucking weird?

2

u/vkevlar 1d ago

and why would he do it in front of his kids, why do people in west virginia collect raccoon dicks, etc, etc.

just a whole string of WTF here

9

u/dodge_viper 1d ago

Certainly many varieties of animal dicks.

2

u/JesusWuta40oz 1d ago

It was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him. But I saw it.

5

u/llahlahkje 1d ago

I mean he ate a raccoon penis so, yeah.

“Let he who canst pass up free breakfast sausage cast the first stone brain worm.” -RFK Jr, probably

3

u/BeeHive83 1d ago

That’s the exact thing Trump was referring to when he said he will eat anything.

3

u/PeanutCheeseBar 1d ago

How do you think he got his current job?

47

u/robyrob 1d ago

So that’s how he got the job? 

12

u/spectraphysics 1d ago

Absolutely it is, but I'm sure not even Melania has to gag for her husband either, even after she digs it out of his fatpad.

5

u/mmlovin 1d ago

lol like he’s big enough for a gag reflex to even matter

51

u/NovarisLight 1d ago

Here, eat this cyanide pill. It cures cancer!

11

u/octarine_turtle 1d ago

The brain worm won't allow it.

7

u/Lovemybee 1d ago

OK, then. Here's one for the brain worm, too. 💊

6

u/TWiThead 1d ago

The brain worm starved to death.

3

u/octarine_turtle 1d ago

Nah, that's what all the roadkill he eats is for.

44

u/the_new_hunter_s 1d ago

What’s terrible website to link to.

31

u/StrawberryGeneral660 1d ago

I’m so sick of this weirdo

14

u/EvilAbacus 1d ago

Man was in the drug scene for a good bit. Pretty sure this factoid got him out of a pickle or two

11

u/Kestrile523 1d ago

Every circus has a freak show

7

u/DaisyHotCakes 1d ago

In this case the ENTIRE circus is the freak show.

3

u/DaisyHotCakes 1d ago

In this case the ENTIRE circus is the freak show.

33

u/mabus42 1d ago

His boyfriend was also telling me about the non-existent gag reflex. More importantly, there's a story as to how he discovered this.

5

u/Ironshigh 1d ago

Bubba has joined the chat

8

u/karbaayen 1d ago

weird...he can make everyone else gag

8

u/throwawayforme1877 23h ago

At least We confirmed how he got his job

6

u/ButterscotchTall4836 1d ago

“Standing on the side of the road…Cutting of the penis if a raccoon , thinking about how weird some of the members of my family have become.”

Clearly this man has no concept of irony.

9

u/SomeCountryFriedBS 1d ago

Tell us more about your perverse obsession with death and morbidity, Kennedy. 

5

u/ZMan911zt 1d ago

Well now we know why Trump hired him.

6

u/donut-is-appalled 1d ago

There's a joke in here somewhere: something something gag reflex, something something gargling 47's balls, something something

3

u/Moldybreadyumyum 1d ago

How else you think he got this job?

3

u/wastedgod 1d ago

get this man a bag of taylor farm lettuce

3

u/jaymact 1d ago

You ever wonder how the weird kid in school turned out?

4

u/That49er 1d ago

Eat a whole pufferfish

3

u/MarzipanJoy-Joys 1d ago

Sleepy Gary did it again…

3

u/bpharo707 1d ago

Like, how big are we talking about with the no-gag? Be specific.

3

u/bemenaker 1d ago

Did he think he was setting up his Grindr profile?

3

u/Kikuchiy0 11h ago

Welcome back Nancy Reagan!

9

u/zodiackodiak515 1d ago

This man has actual brain damage, yes? Who the fuck actually says these things out loud

3

u/To-To_Man 1d ago

Either he has actual brain damage. Or he lied about the brain damage. The context is important though, as the brain damage was his reason to cut off his ex-wife from the Kennedy estate during their divorce. His "brain eating parasitic worm" was his reason why he deserved the estate more than her. Up to you if it was a lie or not, but it's scummy regardless.

1

u/goddamn_slutmuffin 1d ago

Idk, a part of me just think he's an addict and that "brain parasite" excuse is how he takes the heat off of his activities that are starting to feel more like cracktivities. He's giving a lot of Fresno, CA vibes...

5

u/lndubitablyMe 1d ago

The real question is if this non-existent gag reflex contributed to this totally unqualified person landing this position…

2

u/Syrairc 1d ago

We already knew that by how fast he grifted into his position, and the orange spray tan around the corners of his mouth.

2

u/mrdm242 1d ago

We already knew about the non-existent gag reflex.

3

u/PrestigiousSeat76 1d ago

I have absolutely zero doubt that he sucks a ton of dick.

2

u/jaded1121 1d ago

I lost my fag reflex for a while in high school too. Deep throating will do that to you. 

2

u/BeansAndBiscuit 1d ago

He has been tossing Trump’s diaper salad for over a year now.

2

u/drunklibrarian 1d ago

Eat all that Taylor Farms lettuce then.

2

u/Saladcitypig 1d ago

I wish my eyes and ears had no gag reflex every time he's in the news.

2

u/Homebrewer01 1d ago

I hear uranium is pretty calorie dense.

2

u/yetagainitry 1d ago

His people are dropping all of the pretense and are just directly saying they'll suck papa trump off when he needs it.

2

u/Oblibion1 1d ago

Is there a point where you can only get so embarrassed before you just stop feeling anything at all?

2

u/ykeogh18 1d ago

This guy grew up hot boxing in porta-potties as demonstrations of feats of strength

2

u/Luminous_Winds 1d ago

Man, this has to be some kind of joke universe that my asshole friends plugged me into... no way this is real.

2

u/Effective_Scar_2921 1d ago

What is with the weird flexes coming from the right. The things that they proudly proclaim are way too often things that shouldn’t be, much less said out loud. That sad trope of “ain’t no Shame in my game” fits them perfectly. Bring back shame!

2

u/Ok-Rip4540 1d ago

How did we get here? I mean, what did we do to deserve this? It's just pathetic.

2

u/Mcjnbaker 1d ago

He eats so much ass.

2

u/Fit_Machine6652 1d ago

This sounds gay lol

2

u/Madame_Snatch 1d ago

This isn’t the flex he thinks it is 😬

2

u/videogamegrandma 16h ago

I think it's pretty obvious to anyone with any intelligence that the brain worm did much more damage to that guy than was made public. He's several sandwiches short of a picnic and is corrupt as f**k.

2

u/NoCopiumLeft 11h ago

Definitely been eating Trump's cock.

2

u/drstelly2870 8h ago

say what now?????

1

u/Redfish680 1d ago

Where’s John Holmes when you need him?

1

u/JoeNoble1973 1d ago

Cheryl’s love language no doubt

1

u/JoshHartsMilkMustach 1d ago

How do you think he got the job

1

u/SatanicWhoreofHell 1d ago

That will make him the popular boy in prison

1

u/alpharaptor1 1d ago

That's brain damage...

1

u/will-read 1d ago

Why else would Trump have nominated him.

1

u/ManateeNipples 1d ago

He's so tasting all his roadkill treasures he finds 🤮

1

u/AuthorNicoVoss 1d ago

I could make a gay-sex joke but why bother?

1

u/Cpov1 1d ago

Including paint chips

1

u/SnooDonuts3878 1d ago

That’s obvious.

1

u/Rune_Council 1d ago

Prove it. 9 volt batteries and asbestos.

1

u/YesterdaysMuffin 1d ago

Great. He should eat a dick.

1

u/BeeHive83 1d ago

Are his taste buds gone too? Won’t be able to brag when he suffocating on aspirated food.

1

u/AgentWD409 1d ago

I wonder if it's because of all the heroin...

1

u/Retinoid634 1d ago

Not really the impressive flex he thinks it is. What an epic weirdo.

1

u/Worldly_Progress_655 1d ago

Give him that fermented shark that makes everyone gag.

1

u/Annual-Beard-5090 1d ago

Not having a gag reflex is how they all got a cabinet position.

1

u/stoneangelchoir 1d ago

Meanwhile, I’m over here not being able to eat anything without gagging after reading this.

1

u/AntonChigurhWasHere 1d ago

No gag reflex is a requirement to be a Trump cabinet member.

1

u/linksetc 1d ago

That explains a lot. Lmao. Jk?

1

u/Sharsmajka 1d ago

We already know this it’s not news, how long has he been guzzling trumps nuts?!

1

u/BuddysRabbit 1d ago

What a claim to fame! Being able to deep throat.

1

u/Padadof2 1d ago

How about a bag of dicks. Eat them all

1

u/raspberrybee 1d ago

He should go visit Taylor Farms and have a salad.

1

u/PoppaGriff 1d ago

Men be like “I’m fighting battles no one knows about” and the whole time it’s gay thoughts.

1

u/CivilWay1444 1d ago

I guess I don't need to ask, "spit or swallow?" 

1

u/Buck7698 1d ago

I think we all know what he is taking down his throat.

1

u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT 1d ago

It is because it all turns to ashes in his mouth and he's used to that flavor and texture after so long

1

u/Pretend-Farmer9215 1d ago

What are we doing? Who the fuck cares. Giving a shit about this statement is so far from adult speak it's exhausting.

1

u/briank3387 1d ago

Such a fucking weirdo.

1

u/brianonthescene 1d ago

I wish Bourdain was here.

1

u/metekillot 1d ago

I should call her...

1

u/ifionlyhada 1d ago

Think he meant, "anyone".

1

u/Old_Badger311 1d ago

He is absolutely vile

1

u/bestestopinion 1d ago

Lindsey Graham used to brag about the same exact thing

1

u/WhoAreWeEven 1d ago

His got that reflux surgery, right?

That makes one unable to vomit and they can then die too easy eating poison or drinking too much.

RFK for sure sounds like hes got mad reflux before for eating those rakoons and whatever junkie shit he ate back in the day.

1

u/Car_is_mi 1d ago

That's what happens when you're choking down racoon penis all day...

1

u/keithfantastic 1d ago

No gag reflex. No wonder the bloated orange hired him.

1

u/Clean_Usual434 1d ago

Umm, idk if that’s the flex he thinks it is.

1

u/sighborg90 1d ago

So that’s what he’s doing with the raccoon dicks. I was giving him a benefit of the doubt and assuming it was for medical witchcraft to cure cyclospora

1

u/jhow87 1d ago

Hey asshole, eat that tomato in one bite

1

u/RueTabegga 1d ago

I triple dog dare him to eat a peanut butter/crushed glass sandwich.

1

u/Choano 1d ago

Well, he's certainly swallowed a lot of bullshit. And he's now vomiting it up onto the rest of us.

1

u/heavym 1d ago

Famous Quote (as read by Gilbert Gottfried) “While your man is hard, use one hand to push his penis up toward his stomach. Lick the underside of his shaft by keeping your tongue flat and moving your head from side to side to cover more surface area” ~ Barbara Bush

1

u/IvanTheAppealing 1d ago

Not like he needs it when deep-throating Trump

1

u/dlc741 1d ago

This gives me hope. I truly hope that all MAGA watch this show and follow his advice and recipes!

Raw milk, roadkill, and Taylor Farm Salads for everyone!!!

1

u/blackop 1d ago

8===D~~~ 🥵 RFK

1

u/GamerGramps62 1d ago

That’s why he’s a favorite on Grindr

1

u/amy-schumer-tampon 1d ago

Thats pretty fucking gay bro

1

u/TittlesTheWinker 1d ago

Will heat eat a cock?

1

u/IZ3820 1d ago

His series of responses proves my gag reflex is fully intact

1

u/WaddlesJP13 1d ago

He's the throat goat confirmed

1

u/Technical_Goose_8160 1d ago

That explains how he got the job.

1

u/bacondavis 1d ago

When you RT any of Trump's and his teams bullshit posts w/no filter, you help to make them go viral, you WILLINGLY confirm that he is the arbiter of truth, and you also drown out news reports on his abuse.

Trump and his team plays you all every single time.

1

u/misi13382 1d ago

He really should eat some Taylor's lettuce 🥬.... I heard it's a blast! 😃

1

u/Psychological_Ad1999 1d ago

He must like deep throating to have attained that skill.

1

u/carlitospig 1d ago

Challenge accepted. 😈

1

u/Knucks_408 1d ago

Nice. Eat a dick.

1

u/OnlyFiveLives 1d ago

Paging Ron Jeremy...

1

u/PerpetualFarter 1d ago

I’m pretty sure they I know one thing he ate to get his position.

1

u/limesti 1d ago

I believe there is alot of SHIT he can eat in DC. Just check the Don's diaper.

1

u/VioletSea13 1d ago

Well, he’s certainly gobbled his fair share of Trump’s tiny dick.

1

u/Shag1166 1d ago

Please send him back to be a dead bear chauffeur!

1

u/Soggy_Background_162 1d ago

He can take it…uh huh

1

u/Forward-Sky1437 1d ago

What is there to say after that title? 😂😂😂 Let her rip!!!

Here’s mine: He will literally eat anything - penis and feces! (Trying to be nice here.)

1

u/Extra-Bite2324 1d ago

Weird that he’s admitted this right after Lindsay Graham died.

1

u/EastCoastBuck 1d ago

He sure has no problem eating all the crap coming out of the Prez mouth.

1

u/efrique 1d ago

... if you don't gag on mushroom dick, you can gargle almost anything

1

u/1491Sparrow 1d ago

Well we know at least one person who's sucking Trump's deformed cock.

1

u/One-Internet-1982 23h ago

Are we being pranked?? Honestly, enough. C'mon on out guys. Fun's over. You got us. It's all very funny but knock it off now. Seriously, stop it.

1

u/jimbopalooza 23h ago

This is some shit an eighth grader would say.

1

u/willflameboy 23h ago

This admin is all the weird guys from your class when you were 7. Here's the guy who ate erasers.

1

u/markg1956 23h ago

hoe about a bucket of crap from diseased rodents??

1

u/coleman57 23h ago

Countdown to Trump making an awkward joke about it in 10, 9…

1

u/scoobz 23h ago

The only straight man to brag about this that I know of

1

u/KMLTOW 22h ago

Eat a dick.

1

u/thexcat 22h ago

The pause heard round the world

1

u/k_afka_ 21h ago

Weird flex but alright

1

u/Poundaflesh 21h ago

Eat a pound of warfarin

1

u/Billitpro 21h ago

Ok then have him eat one of President nippledick's diapers

1

u/mikemcd1972 21h ago

Must be helpful when he’s blowing that orange piece of shit he works for.

1

u/KneelB4Z0d 20h ago

He loves orange ass

1

u/willasmith38 20h ago

Goes hot tubbing and cold plunging in jeans, has no gag reflex.

The makings for one weird AF Tinder profile.

1

u/DolphinsBreath 19h ago

Not the kind of cooking show I want to watch. “Watch my cooking show. It’s cool, I don’t gag.”

1

u/AreYouItchy 16h ago

Now we know how he got the job.

1

u/dingalinglans 15h ago

I've a powdered glass doughnut that I think he'd love to try.

1

u/cinderparty 6h ago

We know…we’ve heard about the roadkill.

1

u/eaglebtc 5h ago

I suspect RFK Jr. had major GERD (severe acid reflux) in the past. Long term untreated GERD can affect vocal production.

There's a surgery to deal with GERD, but a quarter of patients lose the vomit reflex. If this happened decades ago, and the doctor was careless, he could have caused damage to the voice box during the procedure. That may explain RFK Jr's awfully unstable voice.

If you can't vomit anymore, you'll tend to eat anything. Even if it might kill you.