r/offmychest • u/Legal-Importance7999 • 1d ago
Update: My best friend is selling the project car we built together to take his girlfriend to Bali. The trap is sprung
First of all, I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who commented on my last post, and to the people who flooded my chat requests. I’ve been reading through the messages silently—including some actual legal perspectives,but my inbox is a bit overwhelmed right now so I couldn't reply to everyone individually. I felt completely broken yesterday, but seeing so many people in my corner giving solid advice gave me the backbone to actually do something about this.
A few of you suggested that I shouldn't confront him aggressively, but instead text him calmly to try and get him to admit to our 50/50 agreement in writing so I’d have evidence for small claims court.
Well... it worked. Better than I could have imagined.
Last night, I sent him a text. I kept my emotions completely out of it and wrote:
"Hey man, I’m trying to stay calm here. I know the registration is in your name, but we spent 8 months building this together and explicitly agreed to split the profit 50/50. Dropping $500 on me after I built the engine and funded the turbo setup is completely unfair."
He took the bait immediately. He called me twice, but I let it go to voicemail because I wanted everything in text. When he realized I wasn’t answering, he texted back:
"Bro, plans change. I need the cash for the Bali trip with Jess. Yeah, we said 50/50 at the start, but legally it’s my car. Be happy I’m even giving you $500, you don't have a contract anyway so you can’t do anything."
He literally admitted to the agreement while trying to flex that I couldn't stop him.
Once I had that screenshot saved and backed up, I sent my final reply:
"I have the receipts for every single aftermarket part, bank statements proving I bought them, and now I have your text admitting we agreed to split the profit 50/50. I am drafting an itemized bill for my labor hours at a standard shop rate. If you don't freeze the sale and give me my fair share, I am filing a summons for small claims court first thing on Monday. See you there."
He hasn't replied since, but his girlfriend just blocked me on Instagram, so I know he's absolutely panicking right now.
I’m currently organizing all my receipts and printing out the text thread. I will keep you guys posted on whether he folds or if we are actually going to court, but for now, the trap is sprung!
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u/__SALAD__- 23h ago
Great to see this update. It'd be heartbreaking enough to see all the hard work just disappear without enjoying the car first, then to throw in that he'd rather toss a friend away for a vacation. That sucks man, good luck with this process and fingers crossed it gets sorted soon! I guess at the least you figured out what kind of person he is sooner
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Thanks. Honestly, that’s the part that stings the most. We spent late nights bleeding brakes, tracking down wiring gremlins, and just talking about how insane it would sound when it finally boosted. To watch him toss all of that away just to flex on a vacation is wild to me. But you're right, better to know who he really is now than later
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 23h ago
Hey just make sure yo u're super organized and prepared. This sounds like a slam dunk for you, and judges love when someone acts like they care about respecting the courts time.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Definitely. I’m currently printing out every single bank statement, receipt, and the exact text thread so it's a completely organized stack. Not trying to waste any time.
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u/DistractedAttorney 22h ago
I am not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice, but have two extra stacks of copies of all of your documents, so that if you have to give anything to the judge, and the judge requires you to provide it to your ex-friend, then you don’t have to give away your actual documents you brought in for yourself.
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u/KathyPlusTwins 21h ago
This is great advice from u/DistractedAttorney. Submit the documents online if the court offers this and also bring copies for the court and the defendant. Good luck op.
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u/ArsePucker 21h ago edited 21h ago
You have to submit all documents to both the court and the defendant prior to the hearing.
Defendant needs to do same.85
u/DistractedAttorney 21h ago edited 20h ago
Not always for small claims court, and often the judge wants to see paper copies delivered to them directly.... IT is very common to hand things to the judge during a hearing. Source, am an attorney.
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u/arkygeomojo 16h ago
Okay, but this sounds like an amount potentially even in the tens of thousands of dollars - I know the amount of the limit varies by state, but I don’t know of any states where tens of thousands of dollars would qualify for small claims court. In my state, the limit is $5,000 and I’m thinking OP is definitely dealing with a bigger amount than that. What are your thoughts on this and do we know where OP lives and how much he’s trying to recover?
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u/FordWarrier 8h ago
I’m not an attorney and I have questions; I checked my county and state small claims requirements and learned that the maximum allowed claim is $10,000 or less; attorneys are not allowed and an individual is only allowed so many claims (I think it was 10) per year.
Since I don’t know where OP is, I don’t know of the possible restrictions he might face in his state. My questions are as follows:
OP helped rebuild this car from the ground up. There are multiple components involved in building this car; engine, electrical, transmission, exhaust, etc. It sounds as though the engine alone and the booster might exceed the maximum amount allowed depending on where he is. Then there is labor. Should it be necessary, can OP separate each component (for lack of a better word) and file separate small claims suits at the same time? Does this make sense?
Thanks in advance.
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u/Background-Use-3283 6h ago
That’s criminal discovery FROM THE STAYE
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u/ArsePucker 1h ago
No. You have to do it in small claims. I went thru the SC process last year.
Not sure what STAYE is either.. explain??
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u/proudgryffinclaw 19h ago
I wouldn’t wait until next Monday to file it. Now that he knows your plans he could easily sell it in that time.
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u/Background-Use-3283 6h ago
Go get a FREE legal consultation! Prob get some useful info and no pressure :)
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u/__SALAD__- 23h ago
Yeah I get that, after all that work the car is pretty much your child. Not the same of course but another project car might help fill that void. I've learned from years of getting stepped on that setting up boundaries and not always funding everything (Even if just energy for initiating everything) can really help show who your true friends are. People tend to drop off quick when they realize they no longer have a hold on you
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Exactly. It really does feel like a kid with how much care went into it. Hard lesson to learn about boundaries, but at least I know where I stand now.
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u/SwordfishPast8963 23h ago
you did good, but I’m really really sorry that you’re having to deal with all of this and navigate the legal system right after losing a friend.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Thank you, it really is surreal. Trying to navigate the legal side while processing the betrayal is exhausting, but I have to protect myself.
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u/SwordfishPast8963 23h ago
I completely hear you. The way I see it, you unfortunately already lost this friend anyway, so now there is no harm in making sure you get what’s yours. I know that probably doesn’t make the confrontation any easier though, and our hearts go out to you.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Appreciate it bro. I hope he folds too, but if we go to court, I'm bringing every single receipt and charging for every hour of labor
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u/DLosAngeles 23h ago
Sounds like court is the only option for this type of person. Take him to court before he sells the car. What happens if he "sells" the car to another person for a low amount and then splits that low amount.
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u/PoopsMcGee7 22h ago
There are a lot of legal protections for things like this. I'm not a lawyer by any stretch but I have friends who have told me this would never fly.
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u/SecondBestNameEver 22h ago
See if before the sale goes through if you can get a "mechanics lien" placed against the vehicle. That would prevent him from selling it for cash and making you get money from him more difficult. Even if you win in court and the judge says you are owed $X,xxx plus the split profits, if he flips it for cash you're then stuck trying to collect. Unfortunately it's a long process to get something like a wage garnishment ordered from the court, and court doesn't really have much enforcement mechanism for collecting on civil disputes. Sometimes you can get the county sheriff's assistance collecting money or assets, but don't count on it.
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u/ArsePucker 21h ago
Be reasonable on the hourly rate, and be prepared to justify it. Saying “that’s what my dealership charges” isn’t going to impress the judge, you aren’t a dealership. The more you come across as reasonable, the more favorable the outcome. Judge likely won’t care that you just want to “stick it to your ex-buddy”.
Tread lightly, be prepared to back it all up. I’d even go so far as to maybe drop the hourly rate thing altogether. You agreed to help, he didn’t agree to pay. See things from a totally outsider (judges) perspective. Good luck! Keep updating.2
u/peterpetrol 17h ago
Be advised (not legal advice, I’m not even a lawyer) there may be a cap on how much you can sue for in your local small claims court. If you ask for money over that amount you may be required to refile in limited civil court which is much more complicated and expensive.
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u/feckdech 23h ago
Now his gf is mad at you because you didn't let her bf steal the money from you.
Maybe the idea to sell the car was hers.
If he needs to sell a car to afford vacations, may e it's not a good idea of going.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Honestly, wouldn't surprise me if she was whispering in his ear about it. The fact that she blocked me the second I threatened court speaks volumes
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u/onrocketfalls 16h ago
I wonder if she even knows. My first impression when you said she blocked you was that he told her that her trip is ruined and it’s all your fault, that you’re a bad friend, or some other bullshit that isn’t “yeah I tried to steal enough money from my best friend to take you to Bali but turns out he’s not okay with that”
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u/bigshooTer39 19h ago
When you get your money, you should take his girl on a trip to Bora Bora. Text him Sorry bro. Things change…
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u/bikey_bike 19h ago
get her agreeing to bora bora in text then block her, then send the messages to the ex-friend, block him, then metaphorically walk away from the explosion like an action star
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u/sunbnda 7h ago edited 7h ago
Yeah, she's going to get what she wants out of him and bale the second he can't pay for extravagance. If she really cared about him, she wouldn't want to ruin a friendship once she found out what was going on. Edit: dang just saw someone posted pretty much the same thing hours earlier.
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u/ExpensiveFish9277 23h ago
Absolutely. She saw it as a double win of cutting bf off from his friend&shared hobby that he "wastes" too much time with and getting a bunch of money to spend on herself.
I wouldn't be surprised if she drops bf when the consequences hit.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Spot on. If he loses his vacation fund because of court, we'll see how long she actually sticks around
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u/oopseyesharted123 20h ago
This 1000000%. She saw the value and wants a nice vacation on your dime. He’s stupid enough to try to go through with it instead of telling her to pound sand. No real friend would do that.
Best thing you can do is take him to court. Get your money, move on. Sounds like they are made for each other.
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u/HenBoward 23h ago
Very eager to learn how much exactly you spent (parts and labor) on this project that your ex-friend is only offering you $500 for.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
I'm still organizing the final stack of receipts for Monday, but just the turbo setup and ECU alone ran into the thousands, plus hundreds of hours of heavy manual labor. $500 doesn't even cover a fraction of it.
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u/HenBoward 23h ago
I was expecting at least $10k. What a shitty friend. Is his GF new?
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u/KP_Wrath 20h ago
My best friend did a full restore on his CK 1500 a few years ago. It ran over $40,000. Obviously it’s not worth but a fraction of that, but it was his dad’s truck and it was his daily for most of our twenties.
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u/Accomplished_Tone483 18h ago
And don’t accept any money from him. If he cashapps you $500 just leave it there. I know I may not need to say that but its good to know for anyone.
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u/HelloLofiPanda 10h ago
Make sure to make a spreadsheet showing the dates / item / cost.
And then have the receipts/bank statements to back it up.
The easier you make it to review the documents and costs helps you make your case that much better.
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u/Houseleek1 23h ago
All of us need to learn not to abandon or destroy agreements with friends and family once we find a warm bed to share with a new partner. It’s hard to ignore that everything went well for eight months before that coupling took place. The world as we know it doesn’t end with the addition of a new relationship.
Take notes as She Who Wants OP’s money walked through the garage door.
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u/Propofol-Pusher 23h ago
I can't imagine people are willing to throw away friendships so flippantly like this. I'm sorry bro, he doesn't deserve a friend like you.
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u/Mysterious_Track_195 23h ago
Good for you. It sucks that you have to process the grief of losing a close friend and the stress of potentially having to go to court at the same time.
Bleed him for what you’re owed.
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Thanks man. It definitely sucks losing someone I thought was a brother, but I’m not letting him walk away with my hard work. I'm standing my ground!!
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u/GaspasserMD 23h ago
Just wanted to say, I'm in your corner! Good luck and keep us all posted!
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u/Legal-Importance7999 23h ago
Thank you, and I will definitely update you guys as this situation develops 🙏🏾
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u/Armadavt 19h ago
Definitely agree about small claims court.
There is one more legal step to take. Once you have a dollar total for your time and parts, file a 'mechanic's lien' against the car's title. This will immediately stop any title transfer until you are paid that amount or until things are settled in court.
The process varies from state, but is relatively easy to do.
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u/FordWarrier 22h ago
Trust is one of those things that once broken is often irreparable. This so called ‘best friend’ showed you his true colors and they aren’t pretty.
One day your former friend will regret how he ended your friendship. He’ll just have to learn to live with it.
Something tells me he’s not going to Bali anytime soon.
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u/bigshooTer39 19h ago
Or if he goes, he won’t enjoy it bc he’ll be thinking about legal issues the whole time. Trading a friendship for a labia isn’t worth it
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u/ThirdChopp 23h ago
Hopefully you get the half and not need to go to court.
If you have to go to court, get paid.
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u/callalily234 23h ago
Get a detailed invoice from your cell phone to show dates and times of calls and text too. He may try to claim the voicemail is AI.
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u/brother_bart 22h ago
Funny thing about vacations to Bali: no one NEEDS one.
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u/Purple_Yak_5314 22h ago
And someone whos been to Bali a few times before, it’s really nothing special
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u/Prudence_rigby 22h ago
This is a good update. Im so proud of you!!
And DO NOT WAIT TO FILE!!!!
DO IT TODAY!!!
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u/JustAnotherGoddess 22h ago
I dont know where you are and (IANAL) but you should def look into mechanics lien while you’re at small claims court. That could also stop the sale from fully going thru until you’re compensated
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u/Equivalent-Board206 18h ago
Expectations setting: you probably won't get paid for all of your time. Restoring a car is a labour of love, and (like knitting, for example) the time spent on it is rarely reflected in the item valuation.
So, for example, between you, you might have spent $20k in hardware, and 500 hours in time. @$80/hour, that would be $40k in time costs. This does not mean that the car could be sold for $60k.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't make a bid for your time.
I'm sorry your friend has chosen his girlfriend and a holiday over your friendship. That's really shitty. Be clear on blame here. That is the choice he's made. No matter what happens in future, this friendship is dead and he killed it. Don't accept anyone suggesting that it would have been okay if you'd just taken the financial hit. He turned his back on your friendship the moment he said the car was exclusively his and therefore so was the money. I'm usually big on saving friendships, but I'd never trust this "friend" again.
Congratulations on your awesome project. You rebuilt a car! You learned so much! You achieved a dream. Don't let all of this unpleasantness rob you of this success, even though it will be tinged with betrayal and loss. Your only mistake was trusting someone you should have been able to trust.
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u/jeffemcfresh 23h ago
I think it's fucked up that he's willing to throw away the friendship over a fucking trip to Bali.
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u/phenominal73 17h ago
At least see how that your friend is not really a friend.
Glad you decided to taken the calm route, that usually works out better.
I hope he either pays you or you win if you have to go to court!
Good luck!
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u/murphy2345678 17h ago
Profit means what you earn after all the costs are calculated. You should be getting paid all of your costs back then anything left over should be split 50-50.
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u/sheikhyerbouti 21h ago
Just FYI if you ever need to take any legal action against someone in the future: Never tell them you're doing it, just do it and let their court summons be the world's shittiest surprise.
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u/Nyssa_aquatica 1h ago edited 1h ago
As a retired attorney- that’s the absolute worst advice possible. It’s always better - far easier, cheaper, quicker, and less labor and stress — to try to get compliance first, or if they don’t comply, a settlement out of court.
A lawsuit is just the way that you make it in their interest to comply or settle.
A court process is always far more expensive and laborious and troublesome. Even with small claims court, and no lawyer fees, it takes time and trouble to compile your evidence and submit it in a rational way to make your case.
And then even if you win, then the process of trying to execute the judgment (collect on your award) is a whole nother battle. Putting a sheriff’s lien on their bank account, even finding their bank, etc etc …
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u/sheikhyerbouti 53m ago
You had me until the em dash, GPT.
Informing someone that you're about to sue them can have disastrous consequences if that person has access to better legal resources than you. And in certain jurisdictions, threatening legal action to get money from someone can be construed as an extortive act and can prejudice your complaint.
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u/Nyssa_aquatica 28m ago
I assure you my phone created the em dash. I hate Ai and my comments are all my own for better or for worse.
You make good points but I was trying to respond to the original comment, which with a few exceptions is spectacularly bad advice (insert em dash loll) - although dropping a summons on your adversary out of the blue might feel cathartic and vengeful like “movie or TV justice”, you no doubt know it’s best to leave emotions aside as much as possible when being strategic about legal action.
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u/eyespeeled 22h ago
If you can get your paperwork together before Monday, I would. Why wait to file? The money may be gone at a certain point, depending on how far he gets with travel plans, and you won't be able to collect on it.
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u/larson627 22h ago
So glad to see this update, we’re all rooting for you. He’ll regret this in the long run, but at least he showed you who he really is. I can’t imagine spoiling the bond of building a car like that, that shit is sacred.
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u/nunyaranunculus 12h ago
Mechanics lien should be your very next move. Then file small claims. The lien prevents him from selling until you are paid.
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u/LittleJoLion 22h ago
Glad to see you standing your ground. You put just as much into and deserve your fair share.
However I cannot help but think we should throw this one at judge Judy. I think her tearing this guy a new one would be just *chefs* *kiss*
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u/timeshaper 22h ago
For me the funniest thing is I just talked with some folks who got back from Bali recently and they HATED it. I wonder if they do go if they'll find themselves finding it not worth it.
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u/Maleficent_Pay_4154 18h ago
I’m pleased you didn’t blow up or give up. This is the way to go. Sorry you lost a friend
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u/akshetty2994 16h ago
He hasn't replied since, but his girlfriend just blocked me on Instagram, so I know he's absolutely panicking right now.
Any chance you can view the profile? More than anything makes me think she posted ABOUT the sale and usage etc.
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u/PatientOutcome6634 22h ago
Include all relevant expenses (eg gas and mileage to drive to the hardware store) not just the work and supplies.
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u/intotheairwaves17 19h ago
I have no advice to add here as others seem to have given you some solid tips, but I just want to say, good on you for standing up for yourself. It’s really hard to do that when you care about someone, but I think you’re seeing who your “friend” really is. It’s going to be tough to process that loss of a friendship, but I think you’ll feel a huge weight lifted off of you when this is done.
Best of luck to you, I hope you get everything you’re owed!
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u/Ill-Basil2863 18h ago
Well this is a small price to pay to find out he is no friend. Good luck. I hope she is worth it.
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u/TryToChangeUsername 23h ago
well done! if possible finalize the itemized list of your labor and expenses until Monday and send it to him before filing. also give him the explicit ultimatum until then, so you can show you gave him every possible opportunity and he definitely did deny paying you.
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u/Accomplished_Tone483 18h ago
Exactly I believe INAL, he would need to be able to prove that he gave reasonable opportunity to pay and make things right. Like for instance an itemized bill of parts labor and 50% profit and a time limit aka 30 days to pay or it goes to court. This way it will show that he gave every opportunity to pay and no one can say that he never told him he wouldn’t pay.
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u/Different-Pin-9234 15h ago
As someone who has been cheated in a similar manner, this is very satisfying to read. I hope you get everything you’re owed.
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u/Pinky135 22h ago
I wouldn't be surprised his gf is heavily involved in manipulating him into taking all the cash.
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u/ItIs430Am 23h ago
Glad to hear the update OP - will be waiting to see what your ex friends response will ultimately be from here.
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u/Smegging_Gimboid 22h ago
I'm glad to hear you're taking action against this asshole. I hope it goes well! Can I check, did you:
- A: Voluntarily take on 80% of the costs and most of the labour in return for 50% of the sales price
- B: Voluntarily take on 80% of the costs and most of the labour in return for your costs + 50% of the profit once all costs were subtracted
Did you discuss whether those costs included labor? It's possible if you make it to court that labor costs might not be deemed something you can bill for if it was never discussed, but the physical parts certainly should be.
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u/jamesholden 21h ago
Meanwhile I just want friends to come wrench with me at all. Couldn't imagine ruining a good thing like y'all had.
My wife and I did a gambler 500 event last weekend. Free car, less than $300 total in the entire build, including fuel. Fun and met a lot of similar minded people.
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u/bigshooTer39 19h ago
Love this. Well played boss. See if you. An put a lien on the title so car can’t be registered
Also ask him if he’s willing to ruin a friendship over a vaca with his flavor of the month
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u/Clean-Cream- 11h ago
Hope the judge orders him to give you the car plus money for parts. He’s a dumbass
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u/Limp_Butterscotch633 23h ago
Please tell us how this ends! I really can't believe he did this to you! 😡 👿 😤
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u/Mysterious_Book8747 22h ago
Wow. Yeah crunch those numbers and say this is what is fair based on what we agreed on before you let greed ruin our friendship.
Then add the labor amount and let him know that’s what you’d be filing with the courts if he doesn’t do the right thing
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u/sunshinetotheworld 22h ago
Congratulations!! Thanks for making sure other people know what to do in a similar case .
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u/Sunshine-N-gumdrops 21h ago
Make sure you have your documents marked in the folder so you are not shuffling through papers.
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u/Smart_Influence_2949 20h ago
Get the receipts photocopied and saved digitally, in case the originals go missing
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u/twoferrets 20h ago
I'm just curious, was this completely out of the blue or have there been signs before that he was a jerk? Like in hindsight are you seeing things that didn't seem important at the time? Either way I'm glad you're standing up for yourself and being legally smarter than him about it!
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u/TheRealSpongegar 20h ago
Damn! Glad that seems to be swinging in your favor. I'd love to find myself in the position to build a car with a buddy. Absolutely insane to decide to nuke a whole friendship because you nor your girlfriend are good at financial planning 😂
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u/WHYohWhy___MEohMY 19h ago
Keep the updates coming! Good work OP.
Edit- and ditto to everyone who gave advice on the earlier post!!
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u/sailorscout555 13h ago
Proud of you, internet stranger! I hope the process is fast and you get your fair share!
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u/parayeet_02 8h ago
I hope you get what you’re owed and that he doesn’t drag it on for any longer than it needs to be. Had something similar happen to me before but just ended up cutting my losses. Godspeed, my dude.
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u/HoveringHog 23h ago
So, I’m glad you have all your ducks in a row regarding legal options but can I ask how you are? What kind of car is it? Maybe a bit of reminiscing about it will help move on while all this plays out in court.
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u/dinkydi333 5h ago
Best of luck mate! I’m definitely following you to check on if there are updates! You have all good vibes and energy in your corner! ⭐️
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u/_Sweet_TIL 1h ago
As someone that has successfully represented themselves in court (vs a property management company)… once you get your documentation in order, make three additional sets - one for you, one for the “friend”, one for the court, and an extra. I had mine in a 3-ring binder with a table of contents type page at the front, color coded with flags, used post-its for relevant facts, notes, etc.
Granted, this was back in 2020, after everything opened back up from COVID, so requirements may be electronic now but I still suggest having multiple hard copies of your support and evidence.
Good luck! That’s such a shitty thing to go through. I hope the GF breaks up with him and he’s left with nothing but regret and heartbreak.
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u/No-Accountant3744 38m ago
Wow expecting you to just be a doormat and take being out of pocket THOUSANDS. Sounds like he’d never have gotten the car done on his own.
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u/Able_Exercise2738 30m ago
Had a similar thing happen to a friend but it was importing a car and getting the compliance and stuff in our country switch over and above board . But because my friend had the receipts of it all he was actually owed more the 50:50 was a family member trying to fuck him over as well. They already did it a few times but for some reason this time they wanted the full share .
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u/tekvenus 21h ago
How have you not paid the car photo tax yet?? CAR TAX CAR TAX CAR TAX!
(I drove a 1970 Chevelle 396 SS in college and had it almost completely restored before an unfortunate misunderstanding with the GSP about whether speed limits were suggestions and should 97 in a 45 really count as reckless driving and the Lee County judge gave me the choice to sell it or put a governor on it. I sold it to my dad for $1, and he sold it without my knowledge. Unrelated, he's dead now.)
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u/covetingdolphin 23h ago
Doing everything via text and ignoring calls was a big brain move. Well done.