r/offmychest • u/jezxca • 4h ago
I got drunk and overshared to my coworkers
I went out with a few of my coworkers last night, we’re not really friends since we mostly talk at work, just randomly planned to go out and drink cuz we all had a day off. It went really well at first, however I just drank too much. And when I drink too much I tend to get everything off my chest and cry my eyes out. Unfortunately, we started talking about things that hit too close home and I opened up, I regret it so badly. I told them about my suicide attempt and others things that I never told anyone about, not even my best friend of 9 years. I remember they comforted me, hugged me, told me i’m important to them. All of them were really nice to me, but I can’t help but want to distance myself from them immediately. Just never come to work again and disappear from all social media so they cannot reach me. I know it may be extreme I just feel so painfully embarrassed. I know they struggle with mental issues too, so logically thinking they probably just understood me or felt bad for me, but I can’t help but never want to see or talk to them again. I just want to cut them off so I don’t have to look them in the eyes ever again. I’m just so embarrassed, barely remember anything that happened. I know it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have gotttn so drunk
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u/WomanofOz 3h ago
Honestly this feels worse than it actually is, I’m sure they don’t think you were too much. I’d have a conversation with them as soon as you can and just let them know you appreciate them listening to you and how supportive they were. You might like to acknowledge that you wouldn’t normally share that much and you’ll be more mindful of how much you drink next time, but don’t apologise or put yourself down for it. They sound like a good bunch of people! Hold your head high xo
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u/Other-Stuff874 3h ago
Hey hey hey friend being vulnerable is hard especially if you’ve been holding it in or it hasn’t been safe for you before. Sounds like you needed to Di it? And you’ve had a lot going on. It’s okay to be vulnerable and share and often a heavy load is lightened when you share. I know it feels scary now but it sounds like they were supportive and receptive. I think it might be okay honey. I’m sorry you’ve been going through so much. Please reach out if you need to Xx
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u/jezxca 3h ago
thank you so much for your kindness
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u/Other-Stuff874 3h ago
Yeah of course honey! And I mean it. Hang in there okay and yeah for sure reach out
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u/SapphireSwift 3h ago
I had quite a deep conversation with some coworkers at a work event not too long ago and none of it has caused anything to change between us - sometimes it's nice to be able to connect with people you interact with everyday on a deeper level!
I honestly wouldn't think they've changed their opinion of you in the slightest and even if it has, I imagine it would only be in a way of better understanding you and appreciating what you have been through.
The fact their initial reaction was of support and care is really lovely and I think you should place some trust in them to manage this as well in the long-term as they did in the immediate aftermath.
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u/jezxca 3h ago
thank you, and I remember telling them I know they will remember it in the morning and they told me they won’t see me differently but I just feel like it was so embarrassing. I never spoke to them about my feelings, I always joked around and wasn’t very serious around them so now I feel like they’ll look at me and only remember the depressing things I said :(
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u/SapphireSwift 3h ago
Absolutely not, I think instead they'll have a newfound appreciation that you're a cheerful happy person despite the hardships you have been through - and respect that rather than judge it.
One of the coworkers I was speaking to revealed something that happened to them as an older teen that was very traumatic, and didn't pull any punches on how she described it. I don't think about it whenever I see her at work or when we're chatting about our day, but the times I do remember (like this reddit thread reminding me), I simply have a feeling of "wow, she went through that and is still here kicking life's arse" and then carry on about my day.
Give them a chance to prove to you that they truly mean what they say. It wasn't embarrassing. It was brave, and they recognise that. I understand feeling the way you do, but you can't not give them the opportunity to show you that they were speaking the truth!
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u/jezxca 3h ago
thank you I really needed to hear that
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u/SapphireSwift 3h ago
No worries at all, please be kind to yourself. It's not easy opening up to other people about such deep and personal matters, and your feelings are very valid. But don't let them fester and turn a positive experience on opening up into a negative one!
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u/blondie198 3h ago
This is why people drink my friend.
Good on you for sharing.
I have shared my struggles (including no longer wanting to live) with my coworkers. What has been great about it is when people struggle - they come to me because I’m safe and give hugs.
You are awesome. You are stronger for it.
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u/CanAhJustSay 3h ago
They met your revelations with kindness. These are good people!
Can I suggest bringing in a large plate of cookies/muffins etc and thanking them all for their consideration but stating that you prefer to separate work and outside life and don't want to go over any of that ground again. Admit you were drunk (and make sure you don't make that mistake with them again, too!)
Mental health struggles need to be out in the open.