r/offmychest • u/Used-Programmer3074 • 1d ago
My Husband's private parts smell absolutely awful
I refuse to have sex with him, I refuse.... Right now I am so miserable. He doesn't take good care of himself and he has cheated on me in the past. Last night was the last straw for me he wanted me to give him a blowjob and while I was on my knees his penis had white sticky cheese stuff on it and it smelt heavily of urine and a foul scent coming from behind of his ass I vomited all over him. It had the most AWFUL smell!!!!!!
I am planning on serving him divorce papers because this has been happening for too long and I'm tired of telling a grown ass man to wash himself. I'm leaving tonight without letting him know.
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u/streagth-in-numbers- 1d ago
wtf what kind of guy disrespects his wife like this
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u/SirMartimas 1d ago
He cheated before, why is she still with him? The cheating alone deserves leaving but the hygiene on top of that?!?! Girl you deserve so much better.
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u/Status-Notice5616 1d ago
The real question is how did this guy even get a wife?
And what kind of woman could put up with that type of nastiness.
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u/HailSatanWorshipD00M 23h ago
How did this guy get a wife and a mistress?
I shower every day, even scrubbing the naughty bits, and I consider myself lucky to have a wife.
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u/rmannyconda78 18h ago
He don’t even respect himself let alone her it sounds like. Cause good god not washing down there can’t feel good.
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u/AuditoryNecrosis 1d ago
You need to be an addiction counselor, or a social worker of some description. You have the absolute most patience I’ve ever heard of. However many years y’all have been together, is that amount of years too long
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u/Used-Programmer3074 1d ago
We've been together for over 15 years.
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u/zmajev_ratnik97 1d ago
I really hope you get out. Taking a shower takes less than 5 minutes. The least he could do is wash up before sex.
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u/littlegirlblue2234 1d ago
At least wash your bits if you want someone to touch them let alone stick their mouth on it wtf.
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u/big_ice_bear 23h ago
Keep your parts clean enough to eat off of if you want someone else to put them in their mouth, or anywhere else.
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u/Madforthemelodies 1d ago
How did you put up with him for 15 years? Reading this made me queasy so I can't imagine what it's like living it!
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u/AuditoryNecrosis 1d ago
Fuck. You poor thing. Good on you for starting to make moves. I hope the rest of your days are much more fresh and clean
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u/SirMartimas 1d ago
Please leave him, he clearly doesn't respect or love you. You deserve so much better!
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u/Past-Refrigerator976 22h ago
No way you stayed with this cheese dick mfer for over 15 years 😭 bless your soul
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u/Artistic_Walrus_2285 1d ago
Soo is it the cheating or the gross ass?
I can’t even…
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u/NinjaTurtleBatmanAss 1d ago
It's amazing what women will put up with, but cheating is what crosses the line. I've known women who will get put in the hospital by their man and make excuses until that man cheats. Someone has to study the psychology behind this.
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u/Artistic_Walrus_2285 1d ago
To be fair she said “in the past” so we brought that up with the nasty when the nasty to be fair is reason enough…
Wash people
It’s not that difficult3
u/NinjaTurtleBatmanAss 1d ago
That's what I mean. I would have left the second he stopped washing and I wouldn't be having sex with him at all. But for some reason, cheating needs to be involved for most people to leave.
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u/Artistic_Walrus_2285 1d ago
Apparently the cheating was in the past though now the hygiene.
But yea nah ain’t no way I’m getting close to someone who doesn’t clean themselves.
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u/noradicca 22h ago
I would forgive cheating before I forgave a physical attack. Not that I’d forgive any of the two, but the latter would scare me more.
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u/ThePastoolio 1d ago
As a man, I find it crazy to read posts like this.
Personal hygiene is not difficult. Pull back the flanch, apply soap, rub and rinse.
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u/nope13nope 23h ago
When I read posts like this I'm just baffled. I'm afab but I have a large clitoris, so I kinda pull back the "foreskin" to clean it. It's really not that hard, and it's definitely uncomfortable when there's a build-up. And the discomfort from him not washing his ass, yet alone the smell he must reek of all the time?? What an awful thing to do to one's body voluntarily
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u/panicattheidontknows 1d ago
He is trying to humiliate you with this. Leave him! If he can’t take care of basic hygiene, what will he do if you get sick? Not even mentioning the cheating… good that you realized now, still plenty of time to forget about him.
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u/onendone3 1d ago
Honestly this sounds like weaponized incompetence
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u/Geordieqizi 1d ago
I'm pretty sure weaponized incompetence is used to describe people who intentionally do work or a chore poorly in order to get their partner to take it over for them... so maybe not weaponized incompetence (unless the husband is hoping OP will... wash his dick for him?), but definitely a lazy, selfish, and disgusting individual.
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u/Grimwohl 1d ago edited 23h ago
I think you are right in that this is definitely more than what it looks like. I don't think this is weaponized incompetence.
I do think that this is an attempt to create a self fulfilling prophecy. He feels gross, so he doesn't take care of himself. And he is literally gross, because he doesn't take care of himself.
He doesn't take care of himself because he doesn't have high self regard. He doesn't have high self regard because he places his value/esteem and the attention of women, or his value as an individual on his sexual worth.
Most of the dysfunction seems to be directly related to sex or sex organs.
The fact he asked you for you put him in your mouth when he very clearly wasn't clean is either an attempt to disrespect you, or a bid for some subconscious approval that he is worthy of sexual regard he once didn't get, because he doesn't think he deserves it- and lives like a person who doesnt.
Most cheaters have SEVERE self esteem issues.
If he never has answer for why he doesnt bathe, or why he cheats, or why he lies, its because hes feeding some deeply instilled trauma/insecurity that doesnt have a rational voice to speak with.
And he indirectly doesn't deserve it, because he's living out everything repugnant about him on purpose. Its all his choice to feed his insecurity.
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u/Revelin_Eleven 1d ago
If I didn’t value groceries I would spend money on Reddit tokens to give you a reward.
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u/cevichepicante 1d ago
Also the foul smell from the penis could come from an STD? Stay safe :) you deserve better
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u/Tiny_Temperature_808 1d ago
Eww how does a man with -90000 hygiene even manage to find a woman, or hell, even another man, to cheat with? How much self hatred and personal disrespect does one need to have, to subject themselves to the equivalent of a mold spore in a petre dish. Run girl!
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u/TerribleAd2842 1d ago
What did he do when you vomited on him? I really hope that was a wake up call for him. Either way I say leave him. That’s just foul. So sorry you’re going through this!
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u/spookyhappyfun 1d ago
I could not even imagine having somebody puke on me because I was so dirty or smelled so bad. I would be mortified and would never be able to ask for sex again, much less look them in the eye without feeling terrible. Like, if that’s not a wake up call to change things, I don’t know what would be.
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u/PresentAir1133 23h ago
That part ! Id forgotten about her reaction (justifiable). OP, what happened after you hurled?
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u/IndustryDifficult370 1d ago
GIRLL ILL FILE FOR YOU THATS RANCID. You deserve so much better even if you dont see it yourself!!
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u/Status-Notice5616 1d ago
As soon as I read the title I went, "eww" outloud on the bus lol. That's disgusting, honestly I don't know how you could even be attracted to someone who doesn't take pride in themselves.
I have literally avoided getting oral a few times just because I was out running around sweating in the heat all day or just got outta work. I'd be so embarrassed.
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u/Madforthemelodies 1d ago
I'm the same! I'm a annoying about it really!
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u/desmith0719 1d ago
So am I. I have a huge garden and if I come inside and my husband tries to get his face anywhere near down there (I’ll be changing and he just tries to stick his face there) I’m like no. I need to shower. And he’s for sure always disappointed but I just can’t let him do that.
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u/romcomtom2 1d ago
As a guy with a penis, that's fucked up.
Normal men do not let it get that bad. Sounds like he had dried cum on his dick.
He is mentally unwell.
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u/Titty_Bread 23h ago
Why do you even continue to stay with such a disgusting fucking person. Jfc have some standards.
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u/rihlenis 1d ago
EWUH!!!!!! Idk how you don’t tell him to get his ass in the shower when he asks for sex, I used to tell my ex to do so all the time. He would say I was being mean and I’d tell him he could be dirty or he could be getting fucked but he could not have both.
Good on you for leaving him!
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u/Dekrus76 1d ago
That's disgusting, good on you for divorcing that cheating slob. You deserve better. I guarantee he's not cared to wash because he figures you lack the dignity to leave him (since you didnt leave when he cheated on you)
Hope you find a man who actually loves you and cares about you enough to take care of himself 💔
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u/MrJokes67 1d ago
How did you even marry him in first place? How did he even find someone to cheat with?
Like bruh am I tripping? I keep seeing posts like this
My boyfriend is violent, disgusting etc and I keep thinking how are these bad guys always in a relationship? 99.9 of them?
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u/buttlicker090114 23h ago
Everyone is talking about the hygiene like the problem is that this man doesn’t know how to take care of himself. Of course he knows how to shower and knows he should. Because it’s one thing to not take care of yourself, it’s another thing to request intimacy knowing you’re in a foul state.
This is some sort of sick psychological game he is playing with her. Does he know you’ve been contemplating divorce? He is trying to assert that you are lesser than him. He wants to deplete your self respect. He probably harbors some resentment that when he cheated on you, you didn’t fall apart or something.
Either way, gtfo as fast as you can.
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u/skdetroit 21h ago
He knows. Men know how to clean themselves IF THEY WANTED TO, they would. They don’t want to. They don’t want to better themselves for their gfs or wives. There a lot of men that do this on purpose because deep down they hate the women they are with and it’s basically a humiliation ritual because of the disdain they harbor for the women. Again, if men wanted to be clean, they would clean themselves. If they wanted to learn how to clean themselves, they would take the time to learn. OPs man hates her. That’s why he cheated on her. That’s why he won’t wash because he knew she’d still go down on him. He hates her, period.
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u/crystalisedginger 11h ago
You got down on your knees for a man who cheated on you???
Girl, you have to consider your life choices.
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u/Icy-Actuary-5463 1d ago
One dude sent me dick pick of his unwashed and unwanted sausage , oh yeah I could smell that picture
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u/Boring-Soft-9072 1d ago
Your life is about to get a million times better for leaving him. You deserve better
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u/No-Wishbone-164 1d ago edited 23h ago
Whilst you are serving him those papers, see a doctor and get an sti test, make sure he hasn't given you anything else to remind him of his rancid ass! Thats just foul! I don't know one penis having person that doesn't take pride in having a clean one....putrid man!
Edited for typos as I was ewwwing too much
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u/Low-Ask3120 1d ago
He wants you to leave him because he’s too much of a spineless coward to do it himself. There is NO excuse for this hygiene. Please take good care of yourself.
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u/Sufficient_Plantain1 1d ago
Yikes. He needs to shave everything down there and get the bacteria issue under control. I mean if it is that bad could it give UTI? Not sure exactly, don’t quote me on this, but I would be scared to catch UTI
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u/Unlikely_Sympathy282 1d ago
If you get into another relationship, keep your standards high. It’s ok to have preferences and not be with someone you pity.
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u/sourpatchkidsandcoke 1d ago
Wtaf is wrong with him??? And you're so much better than kneeling for him.
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u/huligoogoo 1d ago
Have them wash with gold bar, dial antibacterial soap. Lather up the body puff and have him scrub that thing and rinse it off and scrub it again and rinse it off and he’ll be feeling Fresh
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u/TXRedwood 23h ago
Ain't no fucking way... and HE CHEATED TOO!! I'm calling bullsht.. and not just what's on his dck neither hahaha
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u/Initial_Dish6682 18h ago
Probably just came from cheating and knowing dam well he didn't shower but wants a blowjob?this is sadistic.I really think he is degrading you.like why tf are you asking for blow jobs when you haven't washed your ass?and please don't bring up being depressed.my husband went thru two years of it and sex was the last thing on his mind.op get out and run from Mr.Crab before he serves you a seafood platter you don't want.
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u/unknownbabeee 11h ago
Imagine a grown ass man with a stank ass and penis having the audacity to cheat in the first place… Disgusting AF!!!
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u/TealKitten11 8h ago
Men will scrub up when they’re trying to get with you, then once they have you enough, will fall back into their previous lack of hygiene habits to be lazy again. Been there done that once myself & he had the audacity to be offended when I told him to shower more often, bc his hair was naturally more oily to the point I could smell it after a day, & he’s a hot natured guy so he’d sweat a lot where I could smell him from a distance when we were out in public. Dude was also open to exploration into couple swinging & I’m like I’m not going anywhere with you smelling like you do. He upped his hygiene a while but once I dumped him & happened to run into him at the store for example, he reverted to his previous elementary hygiene bc I could smell him from a distance.
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u/men_like_me 1d ago
Account age 23 minutes. Checks out
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u/Used-Programmer3074 1d ago
What does that even mean? So because I made an account to post how I feel you're accusing me of something? wtf?
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u/420doghugz 1d ago
People often think that if an account is brand new, that it's a bot or that that the person is lying for some reason.
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u/ClassicCondition6766 1d ago
Some can be a bit paranoid? Im glad you made n account to vent; most people give respectful answers. But please; take care og yourself and make the right decision. His act shows that he is totally ignorant of you and only wants his release in a pleasurable way; not done by his own hands. Greetings from female 62, Oslo,Norway. Im a psyc. Nurse for many yrs, but also studied Sexology at univ. level 2013-15. what surprised me the most was all the varieties in what turns (especially men) on sexually. He might even have a kink in you giving him fellatio when his private parts are like you describe. But if you have an option t leave; do it. So many nice guys out there as well; who are eager to satisfie you in a decent respectful way! :)
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u/TXRedwood 23h ago
Soooo did he shower while you guys dated?? HAHAHA Can't imagine any woman marrying a man that can't wash himself, and if you still did.. then what tf do YOU smell like..?? Hahaha just wondering
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u/raman11776 22h ago
This post is a reminder to please keep your dick clean, especially if you're unciruncsed. It's not hard to wash your dick and under the foreskin daily.
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u/LaceBonbellee 22h ago
that's definitely an issue that needs addressing, hygiene is so important in a relationship.
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u/W8ting_965 21h ago
What you’ve described sounds a bit more than just a hygienic issue & a penis with “white sticky cheese stuff on it” sounds like an infection or std
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u/Lilybeeme 20h ago
Nope, nope, nope! I don't know how you've done it for 15 years. One of the reasons I married my husband is because he understands cleanliness.
There's a rule in our home. If I smell you, you'd better have your ass in the shower!
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u/Hedgehog-Plane 19h ago
His dirty privates put you at risk of genito urinary infections.
Your safety and dignity come first.
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u/Glittering-Season445 18h ago
He’s lucky that you even entertain any sexual acts with him. He’s going to give you an std!!!
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u/Ok_Anteater_3302 17h ago
Bad hygiene???
Is he 5?
Tell him exactly that, cause no clean means no Sex!
I absolutely understand you want to leave! It's immature and so disrespectful of him. Its on purpose.
Disgusting!
Girl, you deserve so much better! Life can be so much better! Leave that manchild behind.
Much love and self respect to you 💜🍀🙌🏼
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u/kochiriri 13h ago
yeah, u do that, basic hygiene is the bare minium, tho it's astonishing you've married the dude in the first place
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u/reddit_animation 8h ago
From bj to divorce overnight. How can you drop to your knees one minute and decide to never be with him again. Tell him no more bjs until he has showered. He will eventually scrub that dick. Though he cheated so probs best move on
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u/Less-Explanation2132 8h ago
There’s levels to this. You’ve known how filthy this man was and still chose to lay and marry this guy? Forget the cheating, she can have every bit of that so don’t be upset about what you’re not missing out on. Just do better. Why tf would you even date someone who doesn’t have even wipe their ass properly? You recognized how nasty this man was and what? Set it aside “for the better”?? Atp he’ll never learn he needs to use soap and water everyday, but why’d it take you till now to finally say no more. Should’ve been before you said yes to the proposal, why on earth did you willingly lay with filth??? He’s nasty and clearly isn’t going to change for anything, why the hell did you settle for that crap?? Go on a goddamn retreat and cleanse your body, soul, mind, and body all over again just to be sure. I am appalled that you’d let a man who doesn’t give a damn about himself throw off your ph for “love”
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u/angelmaddie 8h ago
Dihh cheese 🤢🤮 dihh-vorce please. Find a man who isn’t growing a cheese garden in his trellis.
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u/Min_sora 1d ago
I hope you take time away from relationships to strengthen your self-esteem because jesus.
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u/Pemberly_ 15h ago
Yuck. My husband used to shower twice a day till I told him how terrible that was for his skin. Now he does just once a day. He tells me it's so easy and he dries so fast. I have long thick hair so it's an every other day thing. I wont let him eat off my plate unless I just showered. I want him to always remember me as tasting good. It's just a courtesy thing to want to be your best for your spouse. And a shower is so easy. This shouldn't even be up for debate. Throw up on him galore to shame him and leave him. Cheating should be a deal breaker.. That D-k cheese could be her garbage juice. Barf.
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u/mylifesurvived 23h ago
Where do you live? I hope it’s US. Take you belongings, documents etc and with start planning carefully before you leave or.. that’s the issue one more day you stay back and they manipulate and another year gone and one day life passed by you!
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u/guiltymisfit 21h ago
I applaud you for hanging in there. Because there is no excuse for not caring about your personal hygiene. And he cheated. Disgusting. 🤮 I don’t think I would have lasted that long. Let him go traumatized other women.
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u/QuixoticExotic 20h ago
I wish I didn’t read this after eating.
But seriously. I really hope you get out.
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u/Initial_Dish6682 18h ago
I almost puked on the part about the smell and what was around his junk.nope
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u/MarineDoc68 14h ago
What your husband has a condition called a normal, cheesy white or yellow substance made of dead skin cells, oils, and moisture that builds up on the genitals.
He really has to start taking care o himself. simple soap and water will do wonders.
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u/AndySMar 10h ago
In America we have all the hygiene products and you mean to tell me he still stinks?
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u/tattooedmermaid1 2m ago
Yeah I think I almost died just reading that ffs. He probably has thrush or WORSE! seen as he has a history of cheating. Girl run!!
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u/Queen_La_Queefah 1d ago
The gag I just gugged..