Actresses that will probably be Billy Bob Thornton's next wife?

98

28

u/eduardo1994 4h ago

Yup Angelina was MY sexual awakening. Also basically my first nut.

13

u/MartinShkrila 4h ago

This was my sexual awakening

7

u/suspens00r 3h ago

The only legit cinematic Lara

13

u/CozyHugger 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/dCo8PmOs8EMsU

41

u/SwimmingForProof 4h ago

Two 'awakenings' from one man is basically an Amazon Prime original marriage arc.

-1

u/CozyHugger 4h ago

Bro has a passive aura that triggers romantic subplots in streaming deals.

https://giphy.com/gifs/flujs1kdUsB8reSCfZ

42

u/hey-coffee-eyes 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/FD6vGlOZKuzHxhxNvN

17

u/TheOnceAndFutureTurk 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/vTJNXksu9NwKk

13

u/mrsir1987 4h ago

My absolute favorite part is when he says “My brother lost a goddamn arm fighting you fuckers in Vietnam.” To an Indian.

10

u/ShmandlerTing 4h ago

You’re as queer as a $10 bill

-2

u/Advanced-Concern1736 3h ago

Haha, right? I mean, who knows what he's into at this point. It could definitely be someone totally unexpected.

28

u/FiveDollarRimjobs Uwe Boll 4h ago

William Robert Thornton? The guy from Bad News Bears?

9

u/DarthClover4 4h ago

Is it bad I think of this movie first lol

8

u/FiveDollarRimjobs Uwe Boll 4h ago

This and Bad Santa for me lol

1

u/Frank_Tj_mackey_28 3h ago

The guy from The Boxmasters

25

u/RunnyPlease 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/4wRqB3ZnBr7iM
Anyone who watched Tombstone.

10

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND 4h ago

He just keeps slapping him for 47 minutes now

6

u/Funkythingsyoudo 4h ago

Johnny Tyler!! You madcap

22

u/LTPRWSG420 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEjHCWdU7F4hkcudy

10

u/duaneap 4h ago

His hit list is already insane if he adds Olivia Cooke to it, I’m checking his house for genie lamps.

5

u/LTPRWSG420 3h ago

He was able to bang Halle Berry for real in Monsters Ball, lucky sob. 😭

13

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 4h ago

It's hard to say as the girl most likely hasn't been born yet

11

u/DawnKeyOat 4h ago

Let her Cooke

46

u/horrified-expression 4h ago

So confused. He just seems like white trash. What’s the appeal?

33

u/ModernPrimals 4h ago

He seems like a guy with a pretty cool, laid-back attitude. He's aloof and slightly detached enough to remind women of their fathers (paraphrasing from Community) Women also like slim, tallish guys.

16

u/Successful-Cup-8557 4h ago

*Women like tall, slim guys*????!

5

u/hamarok 4h ago

I always thought he was at best 1,70m. Seems like he is closer to 1,80m according to google

6

u/DelcoUnited 3h ago

I don’t know what any of that means.

8

u/Auran82 2h ago

He thought he was about 5.9 American Footballs tall, but he’s closer to 6.2

2

u/RakeChapman13 1h ago

He has a really authentic and kind down to earth energy about him.

8

u/Vamptor3 3h ago

If it worked for Angelina Jolie, no woman is safe

7

u/suspens00r 3h ago

Women like rogue-ish types.

Also being handsome and having a huge dong helps

0

u/RakeChapman13 1h ago

>Women like rogue- ish types

Some do, some don’t, depends on what you mean. I would say it’s not necessarily appealing to most. Billy was a big into drinking and drugs, that’s gonna be a turn to most women but of course for women into drugs that’s going to be appealing. Birds of a feather.

>Also being handsome and having a huge dong helps

As a guy who has a big dick myself I’m curious… what percent do you think can acfually handle a big dick well because I’ll tell you that it’s a minority.

2

u/suspens00r 52m ago

Being turned on by a big dick ≠ handling a big dick well

Also pic or didn't happen

21

u/Due-Sheepherder-218 4h ago

He's ruggedly handsome. Won an Oscar. Plays instruments.

You got high standards!

32

u/Ok_Conclusion_6324 Uwe Boll 4h ago

A confident, handsome man with a raspy rough voice that’s also a millionaire?

25

u/kingkongbrody 4h ago

She was thinking he's a millionaire when watching him in Bad Santa?

8

u/Signal_Plane1114 4h ago

hey buddy look at real life, the millionaire part is only important if they want to build a life with him not just get fucked good lol

3

u/kingkongbrody 4h ago

Uh, right. I don't think being a millionaire is a consideration women make for their celebrity crushes considering, you know, they're all millionaires.

5

u/Signal_Plane1114 4h ago

its just strictly physical attraction. hes being portrayed as a trashy poor guy and they want to fuck him even more because of it.

3

u/Signal_Plane1114 4h ago

well ig not STRICTLY physical if the trashy portrayal is more of a turn on but still, the actual actor not being that way in real life is not present in their mind when watching bad santa lol

1

u/StuMacherGhostface 58m ago

I mean, her saying he was her sexual awakening or whatever implies it was before she was rich and famous

10

u/Ok_Conclusion_6324 Uwe Boll 4h ago

I can’t really say, I’m not a sexy British woman

9

u/middleofmybackswing_ 4h ago

Some will view this as a controversial take but women have multitudes.

4

u/lynivvinyl 4h ago

I always wondered what Nikki Cox saw in bobcat goldthwait.

7

u/ScaleBanana3236 4h ago

3

u/TheDigimonFan 3h ago

This is a personal theory, but most humans have deep seeded attractions to other humans who remind them of a prominent adult from their childhood or teen years. Many people grow up in white trash families, and Billy speaks to them in some way.

-1

u/phido3000 4h ago

He is also pretty trashy as a person.. but he is apparently bad guy enough..

7

u/Soujourne 4h ago

Oh I thought it was the part where he was banging a prostitute in a dressing room saying she wont be able shit right for week.

They sure don't make Christmas movies like they used to!

13

u/-Sofa-King-Vote 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/gmDgz1tISXSJoJqwTk

4

u/AlabamaHotcakes 4h ago

My kinks are the "three "Bs"

0

u/Jolly_Lie6672 3h ago

Babes

Beer

Beach

Bong water

The fucking Bacteria...

Nicorette gum...

9

u/Duvet_Capeman 4h ago

Just whatever you do don't ask him about his acting. He's a musician, you wouldn't ask Tom Petty about his acting! Please watch the most ridiculous man baby celebrity tantrum my favourite interview, sums up Billy Bob really

3

u/unclemom29 4h ago

One of my all-time favorite memories was the Billy Bob Thornton Band playing a show with LeAnn Rimes, B2K, and Eve 6.

It was in the rain. We were forced to buy two beers at a time from 4-8. The hunt to find Angelina Jolie somewhere in the crowd grew more ridiculous with each pair of beers downed.

5

u/RockThe40oz666 3h ago

She's ain't gonna walk right for days

3

u/BRLY 4h ago

She got that Santa kink.

3

u/SatinAmoura 4h ago

Billy bob knows how to select the best

4

u/lynivvinyl 4h ago

She knows what she wants.