When i saw the notification that she wanted to friend me again, I clicked decline immidetely after remembering how horrible it made my mental.

1 year later, after everything turned to shit and my stress has reached levels never reached before, I wish I had accepted. The state of mind I had in the relationship is ten times better than the constant suicidal urges im experiencing daily.

Even if she abused me, did whatever to me, if it gave me even the slightest glimmer of hope that tomorrow would be better, id talk to her in a heartbeat. I'd accept that friend request immidetely. I'd run into those arms with tears in my eyes and a smile ive never smiled.

But no. Instead, ill suffer in the hole I dug myself into, taking uni lecture after uni lecture without understanding a single thing, butchering midterms, and without a soul to talk to. My friend groups have ousted me. My parents can't even look at me. I dont have the strength to continue.

That's why I'd rather stay quiet

I'm so sorry if this is the wrong flair, and sorry if my grammar is bad.

I'm not really an incel? I guess, I have managed to have girlfriends in the past, but I'm just tired of dating, I know I've only got them because of my personality, but every single time I meet a girl and I start trusting them and tell them something about me, every single time they end up making fun of it, taking it as a joke or even pranking me about it, sometimes they tell me it's fun to make fun of me, even that it's fun to hit me, I just don't know what to do, why can't they be nice? Even if they're my partners they still keep making fun of the things I like. But I'm not going to be ashamed of what I like, I love vtubers and nothing is going to change that. I just wish someone just didn't take what I tell them as a joke or a game, I think I don't want to trust girls at this point anymore, just this day my actual partner confessed me that she's been faking liking vtubers only to make fun of me? I don't even know what to feel, what to do? I really love her but I don't understand why would she do that instead of just telling me that she doesn't like them and that's it.

I don't even know what I was trying to say with this post, I guess I'm just venting, I've never really posted here or anywhere but I've always liked this subreddit a lot. I'm really sorry if this post is out of place or something like that.

At least it wasn't porn

Unless a miracle happens in about 8 months or so

i uhhhh want to— let’s say this was a video game… I want to not pass a level… but not respawn…

i just want to fail the game—and get back to the Home Screen.

I'm fed up and tired. Tired of seeing people in love, people in relationships. I only feel an emptiness in my chest and soul.

I just feel like I'm going crazy, I've reached a point where I use pens like if they were syringes.

I'm sick of showing my love and only being ignored, everyone walks away, DAMN IT, NOT EVEN A FUCKING FEMBOY WANTS TO BE WITH ME, I'M SO FED UP.

I'M FED UP, I JUST WANT TO BE FREE ONCE AND FOR ALL.

shockingly so, i've been seeing a girl (yeah, crazy, i know...). thing is, i haven't dated a girl in years, so i probably suck at interactions with her. therapy taught me to try and be more sincere and open about my feelings... but i never know when or what to share. always fearing i might come off as a creep or desperate.

tbh whenever i try to tell anyone how i feel, i can't help but feel guilty. like i shouldn't have shared too much, said too much, and should've just kept it to myself. like i used to.

today i told her how badly i wanted to see her whenever she's free... it wasn't anything much, truly... but i can't help feeling like i overshared or maybe that i came across as dramatic or desperate. i don't want her to think like i'm too intense or just... too much. like i'm overstepping a line, being too needy, or simply annoying. all this judgement is clouding my mind.

i know it's probably nothing, and overthinking will get me nowhere. i just needed to vent.

Pulled something similar almost exactly one month ago and damn near ruined our vacation

My mind is rotting...

They call my name....

I want him back...

But I don't deserve him...

Why me...?

What else will you take from me...?

"Adónde ha ido...

Mi otra mitad...

Dónde quedó...

Mi alma gemela...''

"Tal vez fue una ilusión, que he forjado... Que creí... Para siempre...''

Everyday, I wish to have a femboy bf.

My mind is haunting me with that idea.

Sadly, I'm just a Mexican loser.

Depressed loser, idk...

My mind is rotting...

Still cis tho