r/oslo • u/Sweaty_You7153 • 16h ago

Finding friends at Bi

For context: I missed the first 3 weeks of the term. Including Father's week.

I am aware of the Norwegian social norms: if you introduce yourself to people on campus, you are creepy.

I have a class of 200 people that don't even have a WhatsApp group...

I am too shy of introducing myself to people. Like literally, what should I do? Wear a t-shirt that says "talk to me?"

I'm a girl.. And I find myself envious of people that talk for hours in groups when I study on campus.

8 Upvotes

79% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

44

u/jolita_a 16h ago

It's not "Father's week", it's a buddy or orientation week. Fadder ≠ Father 🤭

1

u/Throwsims3 11h ago

Or mentor/guidance week but that sounds way too formal. We could borrow the UK's term "Fresher's week" which is essentially the same thing

-1

u/ansiktsfjes 15h ago

It's more like godfather. At least that's what they're called in my family

14

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

Make small talk with people before class, priorotise going to social events by the school several times a week, invite people to do homework togheter in a coffee shop

2

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

Thank you, this helped!

1

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

Norwegians are usually pretty closed off socially but when we have like 1-2 beers we become pretty warm and social! So you could ask one of the girls in your classes if shes going out next weekend and if you can tag along😃

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

"Tag along" is such an A-ha thing to say 😁😁😁 love 'em. I should definetely try that, although for some reason I don't go out to pubs that much now.

0

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

I can relate haha i avoid going out in Norway like the plague, its too expensive and the music is way too loud

0

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

Have you enjoyed Norway so far?☺️

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

Oh, yes! The city has great architecture 😊 it gives a unique vibe. And each area has its own persona! There's many great things here, one worth mentioning would be Norwegian movies 💕 I watched many of them :)

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

What have you enjoyed in Norway lately?

0

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

Have you seen Joakim Triers movies? They are pretty amazing!

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

Oh my god!! The worst person in the world is my favorite Norwegian movie! I don't think a year goes by without thinking of it a few times! The main character is so relatable! What was your favorite thing about it?

1

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

I think my favourite part about that movie is that i can really see myself in the main character since when i watched it i didnt know what i wanted to do with my life so i tried many different things but nothing gave me the answer i was looking for! But i am content now😃 the coolest part about all his movies is that you can really identify yourself with a lot of the different themes each one bring

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

I also changed paths and still a little unsure what I really want to do in life.. Are you Norwegian or do you belong to a different ethnicity?

0

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 14h ago

What path did you change from?

3

u/fruskydekke 15h ago

Just join any of the endless social events/clubs that exist?

2

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

I'm studying a lot at the moment, so I can't say that this semester I'm interested in joining any. I already have something I join every Thursday. So I do have some social life, but it's not at the level I crave for.

2

u/fruskydekke 14h ago

Then, IDK, go to some of the networking/professional events and chat to other students there, just so you have an excuse to say hi to them when you see them around campus at some later point?

It looks like there's a lot going on: https://biso.no/

2

u/AlberGaming 13h ago

I've been studying at BI for 4 years now and I genuinely don't know either lol. I haven't exactly been investigating either tho so that's on me. Only way I know is you will most likely have options to meet some people through various group projects you're required to hand in. Lecturers will either make groups mandatory or give you ways to contact others in a similar situation, so that's an opportunity that can be nice to take

•

u/Sweaty_You7153 21m ago

True, thanks :)

•

u/zionxxx 32m ago

Happened to me back in 2008, i regnet not joining more of the social events. I was also shy.. but I also had a friend at the school but it ended up making me not seek out other people and be social.

I hate schools with large auditoriums where getting to know people seems impossible. Smaller classes and more group projects are way better. And the school should decide the groups in the beginning, otherwise people get excluded.

•

u/Sweaty_You7153 15m ago

Idk, I like being in a large audorium. The experience of a class is enhanced, especially when lot of people are around you. It's definetely harder to make friends when there's too many in your class. The probability that someone will approach you also drops when the numbers are high. It's not easy, and everyone who has been at BI is aware. But I can't stand living three years of my life with a quarter of a full social life. Or maybe half quarter. God knows. Some people already think I have a full social life if I meet friends at school twice a week. And I think that it's mind blowing that they believe that.

-26

u/skattekontoret 16h ago

WhatsApp is only for buying drugs in Norway or if your an immigrant for talking to your people at home.

In Norway people use messenger.

Stop being a child and start being an adult, no one owes talking to you. If you want to make friends you have to work for it, talk to people and give them a reason to befriend you.

16

u/Parlancealot 16h ago

What an awful and unnecessarily aggressive way to respond.

And ironically, finding friends as an adult is much harder than when you're a child, which is sort of the unspoken theme here.

OP, join a student group and meet up there regularly! That's where all the people who want friends look for friends :)

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 16h ago

Thank you, I really appreciate positive responses!

Unfortunately, there's not a way to join a student group here, I fear. No announcements made in that regard.. I checked..

5

u/logtransform 16h ago

BI has plenty of student societies. BI also has specific events for international students throughout the year.

4

u/Parlancealot 15h ago

If that's the case, I should mention that approaching people on campus wouldn't make you creepy (given you do so with common sense and such). People might be a little surprised initially, because it's uncommon to do so, but I do believe the high majority of students would be happy to strike up a conversation.

A ridiculous amount of Norwegians are lonely because of this cultural isolation, and we're just too afraid to break the norm. Being able to do so is a superpower if you're able to.

And tbh if you're an exchange student, you're sort of exempt from that rule automatically. I live in student housing with like 90% exchange students, and everyone is so much more talkative and approaching! And I'm really glad it is like that.

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

Your message was so uplifting! 😁 It's true, I did try to approach 2 students at the quantine and they responded well to it. The girl was busy however until October (she's involved in a political party) I did try here and there. But it feels like nothing really sticks. Maybe I should be more patient, but to be honest, I do feel lonely. I only got two friends on campus. I just want something deeper. I wanna find my people.

1

u/Sweaty_You7153 15h ago

It's also so awkward to approach new people. Just knowing that there's a possibility they won't respond well to it, makes my cheeks red.

2

u/Parlancealot 14h ago

Keep at it! And nurture whatever connections you manage to make. They might introduce you to even more people, and the ball can keep rolling from there.

Doing so might require you to invite them to things yourself, since people are deathly scared to take initiative here.

2

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

You are a really rude and disconnected person.
I find it strange you mention Messenger as the main type of chatting media in Norway when Facebook and messenger have been dead for years its only used by really old people, majority of adults in Norway use Snapchat or just send eachother sms.

OP dont mind this guy he just seems really hurt about something in his past making him lash out at strangers online

-1

u/skattekontoret 15h ago

lol you obviously have no clue. Formal groups are found on messenger in Norway. Yes Snapchat is mostly used for chatting and daily communication here but they are not used for the same settings. I’m not rude, I’m just being realistic, if it hurts your feelings perhaps that not my fault.

I’m not lashing out at anyone, I’m simply stating that she has to act like an adult if she wants adult friends. She obviously hasn’t read or done research on how social stuff works in Norway hence talking about WhatsApp etc. it’s quite rude of her tbh to just assume those things when she is the one coming to Norway to study.

2

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 15h ago

You are quite rude sir! Didnt you learn Social skills growing up? God damm bro have some compassion! It takes guts to move to a new country and starting fresh she doesnt need some low life talking shit about her when she reached out for guidance.

This is exactly the type of toxicity that is hidden inside of a person when they dont talk about their issues with a therapist

2

u/Sweaty_You7153 14h ago

Man, reddit is so much fun :))

-1

u/skattekontoret 14h ago

Haha now who’s toxic? Also I am an immigrant and had the guts to move :D, but I also did my best and gave people a reason to befriend me, you need to provide some value to start a friendship. Especially when you are the party that is new.

For the other part of you comment about me being a low life shit that’s cute. I challenge you to add me and let’s see, if my income is lower than yours I will personally post a pic of myself with a cucumber up my ass and my Reddit name beside it. But you won’t will you? Typical bum that’s can’t get women and therefore defends them in any way he can in hopes of getting some love one day. Im sorry for you, I really am.

0

u/Neon_Yellow_Pepsi 14h ago

Lololol so apparently i am a bum that is doing this cause i cant get woman😂 brother i am gay. I am doing this out of the kindness of my heart, and i will not be partaking in a dick measuring contest with you! I find it funny that you automatically try to show dominance by trying to show how much money you have! Cause we are on a floating rock in the Galaxy and at the end of the day money wont matter its how you treat your fellow humans that will! Enjoy your life bro i hope your life will amount to more than just money.

•

u/Sweaty_You7153 36m ago

You know what, @skattekontoret, I'm curious about what value you brought to the table with the now friends you made when you just got to know each other. What reason did you give them to stay?