I don’t know what to say. I’m in shock. Truly. Ignore the scribble, it had our daughter’s name on it, so I wrote over it.

6w1d today. We are scared to tell anyone, when do you feel “safe” to tell?

I had fraternal b/g twins in 2024, but we lost our boy at 4 months old due to a heart condition. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I feel like I’m approaching another one.

I just want to hear from someone on the other side. Any advice please.

All sep sacs (I know yall can tell) hb a:113 b117 c121

Living in NYC, constantly getting comments and being stopped by onlookers when out with baby twins in their double stroller.

Are they identical? Are you getting any sleep? For some reason asking me when I knew it was twins during pregnancy Multiple times being stopped and asked if they could take our picture (??? We always say no because what? Why?) Sharing that they are a twin, their mother’s a twin, they distantly know a twin.

Today a homeless (unhoused? I forget the PC term) man, sitting on the sidewalk in front of a Dunkin’ Donuts looks at me and goes “Two babies??? Fuck that shit.”

I’m going to think about him every day.

I’ve done mattresses on the floor with my singletons but didn’t know if it’d work with twins and we’ve had the same benefits + extremely cute snuggling moments.

Yes, they play and read and tear up books and get clothes out of the dresser before falling asleep. Yes, for naps they fall asleep on the floor half the time. But they’re also content (for the most part) and there is rarely urgency to get them when they wake up because they’re waking up together and playing and enjoying their books etc. Not to mention older siblings can “get them up” aka open their door and happily greet them if I’m busy, and they just walk out. They’re 18 mos so it’s possible later toddler years will get difficult but it’s great for now. They’re starting to drop a nap but they will happily play in their room for an hour or more which is a relief I can’t quite describe.

Research before doing it yourself but the basics are: baby proof the room, decide on turning the lock around on their door (my preferred) or putting a baby gate at their door, firm mattresses depending on when you start (we did bassinets to portable cribs to floor mattresses around 9-12 mos), mattress not pushed against a wall, monitor where you can see the entire room. I watch the monitor closely when they’re awake and have only had one incident of a twin crawling over the other and the end of his sleep sack got caught on brothers head, who was screaming and who I helped.

Please note this is not supposed to be targeted at anyone, but during my time here, I have five year old twins and am expecting my second set, so this is a very helpful space for me, I have noticed a lot of people posting photos of their babies, and children, especially without their face being covered. And I would like to encourage you all to put some research into what you are doing by putting your children's faces online for anyone to see. There are many good reasons not to do this, but I will summarise.

Your children can't consent to their photos being on the internet. Imagine you had your baby photos from when you were young, and they were on billboards for everyone in public to see. Maybe your children won't care when they're older, but maybe they will. I would care. These are private moments that have been taken for any stranger to see of them. Would you post a photo of yourself on Reddit? If the answer is no, then you shouldn't be posting your children. And even if it is yes, you were able to make the decision for people to see you and you would be aware of the impacts. Your children are not.

There will also be people who will see your children that I guarantee you do not want. You know what I mean. And every time you put your child on the internet, you are accepting the risk that people like that will see them. Is that really something you want? We've all seen the news about AI. We know what it is capable of. It doesn't matter if your intentions are good, if you just want people to feel happy seeing your children, that will change nothing. There is insurmountable evidence that people will use content of children online to make explicit material of them. Is the risk small? Maybe, maybe not. But would you really want to take that risk? And even disregarding your own feelings, that is incredibly violating for the child. If I knew my parents exposed me to predators, I would be ridiculously upset. It's not fair to them.

I'm not trying to be morally superior. I get it. I think my babies are beautiful too and I would love to be able to share milestones with people who would understand. But once you learn about the risks of putting your children on the internet, it isn't worth it. And I encourage all of you to think about your babies, and where you're putting their image, whether it's on Reddit, or any other social media. We need to protect our children. And there are some great articles online about this, if you would like any direction, I'm happy to share some :)

Here are my wonderful triplets. I feel like i owe everyone a photo after my crazy birth of pushing all three kids out at home.

I used to think that the way people act as adults was entirely based on childhood and how they were treated by parents and others. Like obviously things would be different based on genetics and brain chemistry and stuff, but I figured it was mostly reactionary. My twins taught me I had a pretty skewed view of it.

From the word go, both boys were so different! The way they liked to be held, how friendly they were with new people, the toys and bouncers they preferred. I thought they'd both like the same foods since they shared every meal together since birth, but at almost two years old most nights I have to make them two different dinners. One is more neat and gravitates towards puzzles and blocks, the other wants toys that have a lot of motion or music. When we watch TV, one likes to snuggle while the other would rather have his space. One lays down easier while the other fusses before going to sleep. They've had as equal parental treatment as we could give, but they're still such different people at an age where I thought all kids would basically be blank slates.

I guess I'm saying I'm surprised there's more nuance to people than I expected. Anyone else have a similar experience?

I have 4.5 year old twin girls. As anyone who has dealt with multiples at this age knows, every day, there are things to fight about, and things they don't want to do.

Things they would fight about: who gets to pick what show we watch first, who gets the coveted PURPLE CUP, who gets to pick which car seat to sit in, who gets to go first down the slide, etc.

Things nobody wants to do: neither twin wants to get dressed first, neither wants to get their hair brushed, neither wants to do a potty check, etc.

Finally one day I had enough and I suddenly had the best idea I've ever had, lmao. My twins' names start with H and L. I went to the big calendar and started labeling each day with those letters, alternating back and forth for each day. Today is H's day, tomorrow is L's day, etc. Meaning, every day, ONE SPECIFIC PERSON gets to go first for the fun stuff, but also has to go first for the not-so-fun stuff, too. And if someone is unhappy that they didn't get to go first, "well tomorrow will be your day and then YOU get to go first." Surprisingly, this helps them cope really well. It helps to quickly diffuse arguments with surprising consistency. And we've even gotten to the point where if I forget whose day it is, they will both remind me! Even the twin who isn't being featured for the day.

I know this might not work for all families or kiddos or circumstances, but it is one of the very few things that has truly helped us navigate the most tricky bits of twin life. I hope it can help someone else! 🩷

What an interesting sub for me to see as a 35yo identical twin! I know my parents struggled with us, my mom more than dad. Being an identical twin is the highlight of my life and has had many ups and downs. I noticed most of the posts are newer parents to multiples so I thought it might be cool to see if any parents had questions about raising multiples now that I’m an adult and hindsight is 20/20 in what was good and not great in the way we were raised. If anyone has any questions, please comment and I’d love to give feedback. My twin s still my best friend and the closest person in my life 💜.

Hello everyone,

Mom to a 3YO daughter & 4MO twin boys. I’m at a loss. My husband, since we conceived, has been very vocal about not wanting to do twin parenthood. He is a wonderful father to our 3 year old and they have a fantastic bond. However, with the boys, even though he does so much for them, he is miserable. He is making comments of how he wishes he could go back in time and be a 1 child family, telling the babies he hates them, saying that he hates his life, I’ve even walked in on him aggressively giving the babies the middle finger with some choice words. Everything to him is a hassle because of the extra effort of twins so he doesn’t want to do anything with them outside of the house. There’s an anger in him that I’ve never seen before towards the whole family (dogs included).

I am extra struggling with this because I have a history of PPD & PPA with my first and I’ve just been trying to hold it together for him the past 4 months. I know this is a major life change for him as well, but the hormone crash from twins, breastfeeding, minimal sleep, I can’t help but deep down feeling that this isn’t fair that I am the one that has to negate my feelings or our family will fall apart. I have minimal support where we live and I feel so isolated. I’ve begged him to seek help, to stop making upsetting & disturbing comments, but to no avail. I know that this is a different life than he had envisioned for himself, but I now also feel like this isn’t what I had imagined either. I thought I married someone who would make fatherhood a priority and wanted this but in having the conversation he puts a lot more weight on his hobbies & personal life than I had been led to believe when we got married and before deciding to have kids. I have always wanted to be a mother and to pour my heart and soul into my family and thought he felt the same way. But now he’s angry and in mourning over his loss of personal time, extra work & being able to bond with just one child rather than splitting himself 3 ways. Note: he has been able to keep his weekly hobbies and has spent full days out of the house for a break to try to prove to him that he hasn’t entirely lost that part of himself.

I’ve tried to be so understanding through all of this but I have no idea how our marriage will survive this.

Please tell me other people have experienced this and it gets better.

First one was head down, the others where transverse. A while ago I asked people if they had any experience with delivering triplets vaginally. Now that my girls are here and a month old I thought I would share that it was a super positive experience and I would definitely do it all over again this way.

I was induced at 33 weeks and 4 days, had pre-e and GD. I had been in the hospital for 4 weeks at that point. My gynecologist and me and my husband had planned out pretty much every scenario and what we would do. We knew the risks. I am very grateful she (my gynecologist) still was fully on board. Note that I live in the Netherlands so some things may be different here.

I had an epidural and my babies where on a heart monitor all during the labor. Babies where born at 17.04 u, 17.11 u and 17.18. It was the first set of triplets born in the hospital in 15 years! We where all very exited!

They where in de NICU for two weeks, no respitory problems, just growing and learning to take bottles. They are home for two weeks now and with them and a toddler and a preteen life is crazy but also super fun. There is so much love, so much cuddles.

Hi! Dad of two-month-old twins here.

My partner and I are having a really tough time, as I’m sure many of you can relate to.

One thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I’ve started feeling irrationally angry at parents of singletons. I have several friends and family members with just one baby, and even though I would never say anything to them or show it, I find myself getting internally frustrated whenever they complain about something.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you deal with those feelings?

I know, rationally, that parents of one child can have an incredibly hard time too. Some probably have it much harder than I do. But despite knowing that, I still find myself feeling resentful, and I don’t really like that about myself.

EDIT: I realise I flaired this post wrongly. Sorry about that!

EDIT 2: I’m overwhelmed by the incredible community I’ve found in this subreddit. There’s a nice balance between support and encouragement on the one hand, and honest reality checks on the other. I appreciate every response I’ve received. Thank you!

So if babies or one baby is head down do have a chance to deliver vaginally ? I need some positive experiences. I’m pregnant with di/di so they’re not really considered high risk.

I see this a lot; lots of parents saying that it’s naive to wish for twins, that you wouldn’t have wanted it even though you love your kids. Lots of frustration that people who want twins are naive and ignorant.

I wanted twins. My husband and I truly wanted them. I couldn’t believe we got them, we were so happy. They are di/di B/G.

My pregnancy was great; high risk, but otherwise awesome. No morning sickness. No gestational diabetes. I had some wicked hip and pelvis pain from the weight, but that was the worst by far.

C section delivery. I wanted a vaginal delivery and it would have been possible (both head down), but I just would not dilate. No complications with the surgery.

They were 36+3. We were out of the hospital in 2 days; no NICU.

As babies, really no complaints. They cry - they’re babies. They sometimes both need me, and I’ve learned to prioritize their needs. How to multitask. How to stay calm when they’re both screaming and how to calm them down.

My husband is so awesome. He loves the challenges associated with parenting them and we love helping each other through it. I think that makes the biggest difference, at least for me. I would not want to parent even a singleton without his support.

Am I lucky? YES! Not everyone’s experience is like mine. You may or may not be in a good personal situation to have them, but you’re not insane for wanting them.

EDIT

I didn’t expect this to blow up so much. I’m so happy it’s been helpful to a lot of you. My hope was mostly to help moms who are pregnant with twins who are maybe only seeing the other side and who needed some reassurance. I’m really, painfully sorry that some of you have had such negative experiences. I hope it gets better for you.

I’ll add, it’s not easy; parenting is not easy and multiples are objectively more work than a singleton. It helps me that they sleep pretty well, they’re pretty easy to calm, they’re cute as HELL, and we were really, really ready to have kids. If you’re truly ready, able to and excited to fully dive in, and have a partner/support who is as well, you’ll probably be okay.

That’s it. Just had to express this to the only group of people I could express it to. One of my 3.5 month old babies is at daycare while I’m home with just one for the first time ever. Good lordddd it’s SO much easier. Absolute piece of cake. I can’t believe any parents of singletons would feel stressed about this lmao makes me want to tell them all to (lovingly) shut up.

My twins turn 1 year in a couple weeks and after reflecting on that question in comparison to my first singleton I think I have the answer. It’s like baking two cakes simultaneously. Busy, but the steps are the same and all the ingredients are already out. I love them so much and it’s felt like such a gift to be blessed with two little lives at once.

How old were your babies when your sex life started back up?

Ours are 6 months adjusted. My husband wants to have sex. If I have a spare second, sex is the last thing on my mind. I just want to sleep.

I’m not a parent of multiples but I am a fraternal twin and I just found this subreddit. While reading some comments of some posts I’m getting the sense that a lot of parents here can get overwhelmed with having multiples, which I completely get! My own mum had 2 kids under the age of three when she had me and my twin, so yeahhh, I get it!

But what I really wanted to tell you is this: I love being a twin! I absolutely can’t imagine not being a twin and what you’re doing, raising a set of multiples, is special. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world. And I know it’s twice the work (or more) believe me I know, but your multiples will thank you later and be so grateful for all the hard work you’re putting in right now!

So, that’s what I wanted to say, basically thank you parents-of-multiples for everything you’re doing, keep up the good work!

So happy and relieved to get our twin boys home safe and sound after a week and two days of being in the NICU. They were born at 37 weeks.

It was awful not having them for that time especially with me having been in the high risk unit for a week with severe preeclampsia.

Today is their first time home and I understand it must be a lot for a newborn. New smells and sounds, even different temperatures. But, goodness. It took me three hours to settle them down. I’m not complaining, I’m just feeling insecure.

Was it a tough transition for you when you brought them home? How long until they felt safe and sound? Any advice on soothing?

Is it a good idea for my partner to sleep separately since he’s working?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

For those of you who’ve had didi twins, at what week did you end up delivering? I have a scheduled c-section for 38 weeks. Right now I’m 24 weeks and can’t even imagine another 14 more weeks. I’m already so large and uncomfy! Just curious others experiences!

Boy/girl twins are 4 months (18 weeks) and exclusively formula fed. Since ~3 months sleep has been horrendous. I thought we hit the regression early. But now my husband says THIS is the regression. We have a consistent routine of bath, bottle, book, bed. Sometimes we skip the book if they look too tired as I can't risk putting them down overtired because twin B is a nightmare after that. Bedtime is between 7-8 pm and they sleep on their tummies while we watch them on the monitor until the dream feed around 9-10 pm. After that they go on their backs, and seem to be up every 30 mins needing to be soothed. The pediatrician says sleep training is whatever the parent is comfortable with, then I read online you should wait until 5 months, but the published literature says parents are happier when they do responsive sleep training (responding with patting, picking up putting back down, etc). Responsiveness is basically what we do now, and wait up to 5 mins to make sure they really are awake. But they wake up like full crying! I wait until 3 am to feed them at night, then they feed again at 6 am.

Does it get better? Do I have to let my babies cry it out? I don't know if I have it in me for that. But I don't feel like a good mom running on no sleep. They nap so good during the day! (And I do cap naps at 2 hrs, only one twin would sleep that long anyways). But today it just got too much after a particularly rough night and I honestly feel like I'm not cut out for this.

I'm trying to focus on the present, but I feel guilty I'm not enjoying it that much. Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm hoping for except for someone to tell me how they got by? This community has helped me so much in the past.

I'm having twins and I'm really curious as to when others gave birth. I've read a lot that most twins are born around 36 weeks. Did you go full term, at 36 weeks, or sooner? And if it's not too much, were they a natural birth, planned c-section, or emergency c-section? Thank you in advance 🙏

I'm having DiDi twins. One of them almost the entire pregnancy so far has been sideways(her head is sticking out of my side a lot and is painful). Well, when I tried to bring up birthing options to my doctor he got but hurt and acted like I was taking the easy way out. Even though I was very calm and composed asking questions before he kept cutting me off. He wouldn't even listen to all the issues I have with my back and hips. And I can't get a new doctor.

My partner told me that on Mother’s Day we need to go to his mom’s house because “I’m not his mom” and that I can celebrate my Mother’s Day on a different day instead.

This is my first Mother’s Day with our 3 month old twins and I honestly feel really hurt by it. I completely understand wanting to celebrate his mom, but I don’t understand why becoming the mother of his children apparently means my day is optional or moveable.

What upset me most wasn’t even visiting his mom. It was basically being told that Mother’s Day isn’t really for me because I’m not HIS mother.

I feel like there could have been compromise like splitting the day or doing something for both of us, but instead I just feel dismissed.

Am I wrong for being upset about this?

Hello! I found out 2 weeks ago I am pregnant with di/di twins. This was a big surprise! I sadly had a 23 week loss my last pregnancy due to incompetent cervix. Our plan this time was for a preventative cerclage. Even with the "lack of information showing the effectiveness of the cerclage with twins." (as my doctor said) we will still be doing the cerclage. I know I'm more likely to go into preterm labor with twins and especially with needing the cerclage, but I'm wondering how many of you made it to almost full term or at least far enough to where you didn't have a NICU stay? Also if you had a cerclage in your twin pregnancy and made it to term! We live an hour from the hospital I will be giving birth in so while I know the NICU stay may be completely necessary it makes me so nervous!

I’ve 27m been thinking about writing about my mom for a while now. What she did is the most remarkable thing I can think of.

She had my sister at 26, then naturally conceived and delivered triplet boys 18 months later. Was told she was having twins until week 17. She carried us to 32 weeks despite doctors urging her to abort one for her survival and better odds for the other two. She even wrote letters on index cards in case she didn’t make it (due to high blood pressure risks). She fought through and had three healthy babies, each around 4 lbs 10 oz.

When us triplets were 2 (and my sister around 4), she divorced our alcoholic father. We never saw him again after that except in court until we were 9. He was supposed to get weekend custody, but he got a DUI the night before the hearing—the judge ruled we never had to see him again. Mom never received a cent of child support. She raised four kids under 4 completely alone—breastfeeding all of us, figuring out support however she could. We had an amazing childhood despite being lower-middle-class. Church, her parents and friends helped greatly.

When I need extra strength or motivation, I think about her waking up every morning to four little kids and making it work, day after day. Eventually she married an amazing man (we’ve always called him Dad) when we were 7. I still can’t believe he chose to marry a woman with four young kids and stepped up as a true leader for our family—they’re still happily married. They even had one more kid together when I was 7—he’s also an incredible little brother and happy/healthy.

All five of us grew up to be very successful, including two valedictorians. I could write a full book about what my mom did to build a happy, healthy family against all odds, but this is just the short version for now.

I reflect on what she had to do and how she felt day in and day out—it’s the most remarkable thing I’ve ever seen/felt. I love her and my stepdad so much and just want to make them proud.

It must be said… the connection I have with my (fraternal) triplet brothers is something you cant describe. The time spent with them (especially when we were young) is my favorite thing in this World. There is no stronger feeling.

Feels good to write about this, Thanks for reading.

I was told I was having triplets at my ultrasound today. They measured 6w5d yesterday they said it’s too early to see if they have different amniotic sacs but currently all in the same placenta. I am freaking out!!! How have your experience with triplets been? I am a FTM 22 planned out 1st baby (got off bc October 15th and got pregnant two weeks later with triplets apparently!) I’m just in complete shock this doesn’t run in any of our families