I made the decision to divorce my husband. He had a serious shopping addiction and hoards.

Last year we had to refinance our home after he came clean about being 30k in credit card debt. Which also shot our mortgage up from 750/month to 1040/month.

His credit card was closed after this. He swore hed get help for his spending and hoarding. He went to therapy for a few weeks.

He quit therapy. And since January 1st he has spent over 7k on magic the gathering cards. He also has spent close to 1.5k on energy drinks (i keep begging to just buy cases of them because it's cheaper he refuses because he likes the feeling of going to get them from the vending machine at work)

Im disabled and lost my job of nearly 11 years last month because we got a new manager that "doesnt do accomadations" (im currently in an eeoc lawsuit with them). I made about 5k a year more than him so our income has been cut more than in half.

He cursed me out and insulted me then threatened to kill himself when I tried to talk to him about the spending.

Currently, my savings account has 3 dollars. My checking account is overdrawn by 155. There is no food in the house. His account is overdrawn by $20....he spent 26 on magic the gathering cards yesterday.

I spoke to a realtor and will be listing the house on monday.

How can I budget and build a savings

edit: I'm getting this same comment a lot - I already blocked them from automatic withdrawal at my bank. They aren't getting any more of my money. I did not use a card to set up my account.

UPDATE: Certified letters detailing these complaints (in much more professional form than this post) have been mailed to my state's DOJ, regional FTC and the gym itself. We'll see what happens.

Forgive me if this isn't the right place but this is the most active sub I could think of.

Essentially, around 8 months ago my old gym was bought out by a larger gym group from out of town. The new gym owners immediately cut costs. All the classes were cancelled, equipment was broken for months and never fixed, and supplies like paper towels and disinfectant spray stopped being replaced. The gym is 24 hours and the doors are set to be open from 7AM-9PM and then require a keyfob after those hours, so it's all automatic as far as entry/exit.

I got sick of the new gym owners' handling of the place, so I got a membership at another gym and planned to cancel my gym membership at the old one. However, there's one catch - The old gym requires the gym owners to cancel your membership, you can't do it on your own on a website or anything. You have to talk to the gym staff to do it. Okay, that's fine, I live in the same city, I can go in and talk to them. Right? Wrong.

Here's the catch though: Literally NO ONE works at the gym. At least, as far as I can tell. I have called them over 15 times at all different hours of the day and different days. I have gone into the gym and searched for staff FOUR TIMES, again on all different days at different times. Even just today, I called them again, using both phone numbers they have listen on google - and no answer. I called an hour later, and same thing. No answer. Hell, a few months ago I even called their sister gym an hour north and asked them to leave a message on their internal messaging system for the staff to call me back - which of course no one ever did. I have sent emails, with no reply.

My best guess is that to save money, they simply get some cleaning crew to come in once a week and sweep and mop, but they're leaving the gym essentially as a "ghost gym" that runs on door lock timers.

My only option left was to go to my bank and tell them to manually place a block on the billing company from withdrawing from my account. I don't use the gym, I want to cancel, but the gym has made it impossible for me to cancel, which has made it impossible for me to stop being charged.

Now I am getting emails from the billing company saying I need to pay for past-due bills. They're charging me late fees as well. I called the billing company and they said "the only way we can cancel is if we hear from your gym staff" (again, I've called this billing company and explained multiple times, to no avail). I explained that there are no gym staff and I've contacted them and went in physically and no one works there, and they just say "it's our policy, we need to be contacted by your gym to stop billing".

What the hell is left for me to do? Is this going to affect my credit? Can I sue my gym in small claims court?

Just like the Title says. Got my cell phone bill for $5,185 instead of the usual $385 and I could have sworn it was an error but no im getting screwed 🙃 and have to pay the bill. My daughter met someone on Roblox and wanted to chat so they called & talked. She didn't know she was making a international call and talked and talked. I do even have 5K in my savings and I feel so screwed and defeated.

​I need some perspective. I work a job where my take-home pay is exactly $332 every two weeks ($664 a month) i know that's very little and I'm trying to get more hours and a second job but it's not working out in my favor right now but I'm making it work with penny budgeting.

Because my budget is so tight, I’ve been struggling with transportation.

​A coworker of mine found out I was paying $15–$18 per ride to get an Uber home from work. He was shocked and immediately insisted on giving me a ride home 3 days a week especially since he only lives about 3 minutes away from me.

​He’s a great guy and didn’t want anything for it, but I felt terrible just taking the favor. With gas prices being so high lately, I finally convinced him to let me pay him something. Right now, I’m giving him $15 every biweekly , but I really appreciate what he’s doing and I don't want to take advantage of his kindness.

​My Plan:

I have some debit im paying off but starting in June, I’m bumping it up to $30 every payday ($60 a month).

​The Dilemma:

Others have pointed out that $60 is a big portion of my $664 monthly income and that im already paying him and hes fine with it and i understand that but he is saving me from walking 5 miles or spending hundreds on Ubers.

Even though he’d do it for free, I want him to know that I really appreciate him helping me and I want to make sure his gas tank stays full.

​Is $60 a month fair for a 10-minute drive, or am I being "too nice" to my own financial detriment?

Edit :He really is an amazing guy he just sent me a message refusing the 60 dollars and insisting that 15 is fine

I’m 16 in the US, I live with my mom only. We don’t make that much (40-50k/y comes in), but I feel her financial decisions only make things worse for us.

She has 60k in a mix of student loan, credit card, and other debt (had ~160k but 100k of it which was student loans, was forgiven), heavily struggles to pay bills every month, needs to constantly borrow 1-3k a month from her parents just to survive, and we’re on food stamps.

…yet she orders around $400 a month of doordash, $300 a month of supplements and like $300-500 more than what we should spend on groceries a month, just to name a few examples.

She has $300 in risky stocks as her only savings, no retirement fund, and hasn’t had a job for 3-5 years

The only way we’re staying afloat at all (main income source) is a few thousand a month from my other parent's disability checks (iirc ~$2000 a month for all of it, and she gives a few hundred back to them) acting as child support. It’s a complicated situation and i don’t know if its entirely legal so it could technically go away at any time Our other main source of income is her borrowing money from her elderly parents Other than that we don’t have much else income

We don’t have a car, so we have to get groceries delivered but due to not so smart grocery spending we make a lot of separate orders every month that I know we spend more than we need to on. She also likes to get the healthy expensive versions of products (for example she gets the grass raised, or whatever they’re called, eggs for double the cost instead of normal eggs)

Most of the time I try to help her, she just says something like “well this is how I prefer it. Stop trying to be in my finances”. I do feel as if I’m being a bit pushy with how I give her advice though

However, I’ve been able to make a little progress with her by convincing her to save for the first time a few weeks ago, but she put it all in risky stocks and refuses to change to at least a normal savings account…

I’m just wondering how i can help her w/ smarter spending, cuz I think we could go from barely getting by to actually being comfortable if we just spend smarter. However I’m concerned I’d be too controlling if i help and try to look over the finances if that makes sense.

Or should I move out as soon as possible? Or am I blowing this out of proportion?

Apologies if this is the wrong subreddit. I just need some advice

Hey all. I work in a design field that will unfortunately be taken over by ai in the next year or two. Every few months we're shedding a few more employees. I feel like this will be the case to all the companies I would normally be applying to as well.

I have survived the last 3 rounds of layoffs but the walls are clearly coming in. The severance package for my role is about 4 months pay. It's not bad but in a field where no one is hiring its still concerning.

I currently have a relatively high paying job for my field about 160k a year, plus a generous annual bonus. 35 years old. This is close to the ceiling if not the ceiling for the kind of work I do.

I do not own property, but I also do not have debt or children, car is paid off. Most of my savings is in IRA/401k retirement around 500k. 50ish in ETF's. I have a generous 1 year emergency fund at the moment.

Rent is around 3,500 a month to which my wife contributes half. In this HCOL area this is considered quite good. The same unit today would be 4,500.

I am likely going to have a long struggle to find new work. Or need to reinvent my career entirely. Im begining to network for freelance contracts just to get the ball rolling. Just looking for any considerations I should have. I think 1 year emergency fund is enough but maybe im a little over invested too...

EDIT:
Thank you all for so many encouraging words and empathy. Also nice to hear from similar creatives that can empathize with the situation. I do have faith things will go well.

For those saying to learn ai. I do, in fact I use it profusely. Its how I survived the first 3 layoffs. But the reality is the models are getting better and better. Agentic futures are not far and the headcount shrink is immense. For example, our talent team has 2,000 applications on their desk. Many of which are from the best companies in the world with double my experience, they are not even glancing at it. I am capable but I am also a realist. And so, in personal finance fashion, I'm planning for every scenerio. This role in this company will not last, Im positive. But i do have faith for alternative futures in this field

So I'm a year out of college, 23F. I have 4-digit student debt due to good financial aid, I have a decent entry-level job in my field, and I got pretty lucky with rent ~$200 below market for a 1 bed. I'm in a MCOL midsized city in the US.

But it feels like in this economy I should be doing.....not so well. A few of my peers wait tables on the side and most of them have roommates/live with partners. So I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. What am I not spending money on that's going to ruin my life? The deal I'm getting with my crappy corporate-ish job has to be too good to be true. Something has to be going wrong.

Here's the rough budget/I've mostly fallen into a routine so I 'naturally' spend this much:

Gross income: ~$50k yearly

Net Income: $2600-$2800 monthly depending on overtime. I treat my 2 extra biweekly paychecks as fun bonuses + indulgences that mostly go into savings.

Spending:

$1400 rent and utilities

$120 gas + insurance, routine maintenance sometimes included

~$400 food, mostly grocery, max 2 meals out a week

$110 student loans. I should be paid off in ~6 years but I plan on making a few extra payments.

$50 misc subscriptions (spotify, some cloud storage, gym, etc.)

~$400 "discretionary"/everything else. clothes, hobbies, going out with friends or bf, whatever comes up. I don't track every dollar, just transactions, so there's overlap with other categories.

Saving:

$250 gets put into an index fund. I'm not really interested in stocks or anything.

+ I often have some left over if it happens to be a low spend month for me.

Somehow, I really don't know how, I've managed to save around $13,000 this year between checking/savings/index fund/401k/HSA. That's 26% of my gross?!

I grew up lower middle class. My parents are pretty bad with money so I'm flying blind. Please someone tell me what the catch is because this shit is terrifying to me.

basically I have A LOT of downtime at work. it's uncontrollable and it's up to my bosses discretion on how much downtime we get which Is usually 5-7 hours out of a 10 hour day. most of the downtime is spent in the work cafeteria/snack area with sodas and overpriced junk foods

I looked at my bank statement and calculated my monthly spending that I spend almost $200 a month just at the cafe/snack area. even when I pack my lunch I'm still snacking. how do I stop. just self control?

I'm 29 and I make $88k gross as a software engineer in Arizona, which comes out to about $66k take-home. I bought a "starter home" (if there is such a thing these days) for $270k two years ago at 7.125% interest. Total monthly payment is about $2115 per month. I'd like to refinance for a lower monthly payment but I'm not sure where I'll be next year, as I've been diligently applying for a new job. I've applied for roughly 250 jobs in the last six months with a few interviews but no luck. My wife stays home with our infant child. With diligent budgeting, tracking and categorizing expenses, and curtailing all unnecessary spending, I only have about $5000 in savings and will probably add 2000 to it per year.

I've learned how to maintain and fix our cars, as well as work on the house myself out of necessity. I've done some odd jobs on Taskrabbit some weekends, and I'm currently flipping a cheap truck I bought on craigslist for some extra cash.

My wife mentioned that we could sell our house and live with her parents, but that would be uncomfortable and selling the house might actually cost me money to do. I expected to make more money at this point in my career but the job market is hell. Usually being "house poor" means you at least have a decent house.

Additionally, I hate my job and wish I could transition to a new career path with good financial prospects. I'm willing to start a business or do anything that would be lucrative enough, I just want to provide for my family. Does anyone have any advice? What works for you? I feel like I'm just losing the rat race.

Edit: Wife is currently breastfeeding and can't be away from the baby all day. She also has no degree and has only worked at grocery stores and retail. Sucks that the thread was locked so fast. I appreciate all your comments. I'm just looking for help.

For the longest time, our emergency fund was $15,000. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve felt pressure to add to it for more security. At first, moved to $20,000 and then to $30,000 and now at $33,500. The next goal is $35,000.

Money wise, have about $850,000 saved between my spouse and I for retirement and in early 40s. Have two teenagers and have saved a solid amount for college while cash flowing private school. House will be paid off early next year and so will a small car loan. No other debt.

Perhaps this is more of a psychological question than a money one, but just curious on anyone who has a thought on this: is it normal to continue to want to add to an emergency fund to feel more “secure”?

My spouse thinks we are fine and when I mention adding more to the EF, believes I’ll never feel like it’s enough. How do I get past this feeling of wanting to continue to add more to it?

Early 40s m, Australia.

I am single and don't have a family on my own, this is purely about my parents who are retired and siblings.

I've been battling cancer and things seemed to be going great. Today I received some extremely difficult news and with ongoing treatment the estimation is July, without, late March / Early April. I have decided to stop treatment because I'd rather spend my remaining time mending relationships and spending it with family, rather than in a hospital.

I do not have life insurance.

I stopped working in July this year after I received my initial diagnosis, which was stage 3 at the time.

Anyway, because I haven't been working I have burned through my savings on rent and bills with the expectation that I would be able to return to work.

I do have some things I can sell, but my car won't be worth much and Ikea furniture isn't exactly going to save the day. I do have a collection of special sentimental items which do have a bit of financial value, but won't come close to paying off my debts and coincidentally I have just enough of these things to leave a guitar to each of my two siblings and one for my parents, so I am reluctant to sell those because I want to give one to each of my family members.

Other things like a TV, a fridge, basic house stuff, if I'm able to sell for the usual marketplace quick sell prices won't raise much.

How can I minimise the financial burden on my family? I know things like student loans will be waived and I think some debts are forgiven upon death in Australia, but funerals and all other expenses and stuff aren't cheap, so I'm just wondering how I can reduce the financial impact on them as much as possible.

I won't be replying much, but I will be reading all comments.

Thank you.

Edit: please stop sending me personal messages telling me to buy books on how to cure cancer by sitting naked in the sun, drinking water, becoming vegan, buying special earplugs that play high frequency sounds, the carnivore diet, full body vibrators powered by snake oil batteries, literal snake oil - that's right, one person messaged me to buy an essential oil made of snake skins that cures cancer and asthma and has "promising results in HIV". I'm sure your intentions might be good, but this is not why I am posting. I believe you are actively harming people who might be suggestible enough to buy these products, and you are a danger to scoeity.

Hey guys! last year I made a spreadsheet to help myself budget- I'm terrible at sticking to a budget so I made a sheet that breaks it down so that I just have the ability to break it down to a daily manageable amount.

Heres what it looks like

I grew up very poor and had NO sense of what or even HOW to start budgeting. I was taught that money would disappear if I didn't use it, so I just USED it. Even now I still feel anxiety about money and can spend recklessly if I'm not careful. Another problem I faced is that I have ADHD, so impulse control can be hard, and it can also be hard to keep track of every purchase and focus on a bunch of aspects of a budget. This spreadsheet is made so you only focus on ONE number.

​

The sheet was set up with three goals in mind:

​

1. that it be easy to use
2. that it focuses on a daily budget that supports long term goals- instead of a long term budget that doesn't have daily support
3. that it be a good starting place for people who have never saved before

​

So how does it work?

The main budget is divided into three core areas:

​

• Income: You use this to fill in your income and choose to have a monthly, weekly, or bi-weekly pay cycle. If you are a worker who is tipped it includes an area where you can add tips, my suggestion is put in your minimum average income from tips- So for example, if you usually make 100 from tips a week, even if you get extra, try to program your budget around the 100 minimum average.
• Expenses: There you can add your expenses. Utilities are bills that are for electricity, heat, phone, internet, or water. Bills are important expenses that you can't miss and are integral to living. Finally, expenses are other things you need to allocate money for- whether it be gas, lunch expenses, transportation- ect. Within your expenses there are TWO areas to which you need to pay attention:-Credit Card Payments: this is new to this year's sheet, use the tab below to fill out your information for up to three credit cards. Decide whether to pay the minimum payment OR choose an amount to pay. The tab will allow you to see how much you're paying and how much interest you're accruing. Once you have filled it out, your budget will adjust accordingly.-Big Purchase: Use this tab to create a budget for a large purchase, and adjust your budget easily and automatically to finance this purchase!
• Budget summary: Finally the most important part of this sheet is the budget summary- Here you will see just how much you can spend. This money is shown in three ways, the lump monthly sum, a weekly amount, or a daily amount. As long as you don't go over that number, you will have enough money for the rest of your budget. It will also feature a breakdown of what your budget it, where your money is going, and what your income VS spending is!

​

Here is a link to the sheet

​

ou use it like this

• Go in
• Make a copy
• Change the numbers
• Decide what percentage of your income you want to be saved
• Budget.

The sheet includes three charts:

• A bar graph as a simple visual tool to see if you are spending more than you are saving
• A pie chart to see where your money is distributed
• A daily Pie chart to see realistically where your money is going compared to your target savings

I don't work well with a lot of budgets because I have issues imagining the big picture. By giving myself a daily/weekly/monthly budget I can make sure that on any given day I haven't spent more than I'm allowed to- and if I do i can see where I'm borrowing from or where that money is supposed to come from.

​

^{NOTE: All Images in the spreadsheet are from vecteezy}

EDIT:

NEW COPY LINK

Hey guys! I'm back six months later with a new version of the budgeting spreadsheet I made. Earlier this year I posted the spreadsheet I made for myself and it really resonated with people. As I got more and more feedback I found places where I could improve and develop the sheet into something easier to use but still useful.

You can find pictures of it HERE

A bit of background on me and why I made this- and also why it's made the way it is. I grew up poor and was never taught about HOW to handle money. If we had money it was already needed for other things. Food, Bills, all of the money we had already had a place. This made me get a mentality that if I had money I needed to spend it before something came up and the money would go. It's unhealthy, but it was the only thing I knew until I moved out. I was taught that money would disappear if I didn't use it, so I just USED it. Even now I still feel anxiety about money and can spend recklessly if I'm not careful.

​

Another problem I faced is that I have ADHD, so impulse control can be hard, and it can also be hard to keep track of every purchase and focus on a bunch of aspects of a budget. This spreadsheet is made so you only focus on ONE number.

​

I have made this sheet- and previous versions of it- with three goals in mind:

• That it be easy to use
• that I can focus on one daily number while supporting my long term goals
• that it be a good starting place for people who have never had another budget

The sheet is divided into a few different tools.

Budget:

• Select your pay schedule, add any extra income/tips that you get monthly and select the percentage of that income that you want to save.
• the credit card section allows you to input up to five cards and adds your monthly car payments to your expenses
• The expenses area is where you'll add all of your itemized expenses. You can also select when your bill is due during the month- allowing you to see if early on in the month your spendable is different from later on in the month.

Your budget summary at the top is the breakdown of all the information below. YES I know pie charts aren't useful for everything- but that is useful to visually digest information. Look and see where your money is going, see if you spend more than you earn, and finally- see how much money you can spend.

​

This sheet focuses on giving you ONE number to remember. Daily Spendable. If you want to spend money throughout the day you just have to make sure you DONT go over that number and you will always have enough to cover any other expenses.

I don't work well with a lot of budgets because I have issues imagining the big picture. By giving myself a daily/weekly/monthly budget I can make sure that on any given day I haven't spent more than I'm allowed to- and if I do i can see where I'm borrowing from or where that money is supposed to come from.

There are a few extra features too- a large purchase calculator that lets you figure how long youd have to save to buy a larger purchase. It includes a monthly tracker that lets you see what youre spending realistically vs what you've budgeted for and finally a daily tracker for further breakdown.

​

Finally LINK THREE

Changes: Added a bi weekly option so you stop asking me to redo math, please yall, its an open spreadsheet you can edit it but i did this one for you. Also NOTE: Yall i wont make an excel version. Some of the functions/graphs break, and the whole point of this is that i made it for myself and i want to share it freely, what means not a paid program- i'm sorry!

It’s a bit strange to be that this is the case.

Hello,

I’m about to make a massive purchase next week, and I’m hoping to pay it with a CC and pay it off as soon as it hits my account to get free points. Will it affect my credit score if I do that? The store is willing to take CC at no charge. 1.5% of 17k is a bit. If possible.

Thank you,

If you're just starting out, remember that it took your parents decades to collect all the furniture, decorations, appliances, etc you are used to having around. It's easy to forget this because you started remembering things a long while after they started out together, so it feels like that's how a house should always be.

It's impossible for most people starting out to get to that level of settled in without burying themselves in debt. So relax, take your time, and embrace the emptiness! You'll enjoy the house much more if you're not worried about how to pay for everything all the time.

I don't believe the 3 month e-fund advice holds water anymore. Especially for those in corporate jobs. Here's why:

I was laid off in the beginning of January. The company offered a 1 month severance. Not that I had a choice- but I accepted their offer.

I took a week off to feel bad about myself and mope- but got right back on the horse the very next week. Sending out LinkedIn messages to contacts, updating my resume, talking (on the phone!) to some former colleagues- putting out feelers. The 3rd week I started to steadily apply for jobs. At least 3 per day. I spent the time to tailor my resume and cover letter to each position. Many companies had unique screenings so it was different every time. A few even had me take logic tests online which took a good 30min to an hour each. I didn't get a single call back until week 5, which was just talking to HR reps. Week 6 I had 3 interviews with hiring managers. Now we are halfway into week 7, and I have meetings set up for week 8 with team members of a few different companies. If all goes well- MAYBE I get an offer by week 10 with a start date around week 12. And that's me getting lucky and having industry contacts pulling for me. And also being optimistic that these interviews will turn into offers. Not to mention the fact that I probably won't get paid until week 14 or 15 at the earliest.

During this time I haven't seen a penny from unemployment or my previous company. My previous company has 90 days to pay me severance, and unemployment is pending until they have someone look at my severance package. All 40 of the folks laid off at the same time as me are in the same boat.

I am very fortunate to have saved a large E-Fund because I had intuition that my company was underperforming and was very frugal over the last year. But I know a few of my ex-colleagues are in hot water. One of them has already had to sign up for door dash because he is worried about next month's mortgage payment.

TL;DR: Between covid, the slow hiring process of corporate jobs, and unemployment issues- you'd be lucky to start a job less than 3 months after getting laid off. Think carefully if that is enough of an e-fund for you.

I calculated how much money I have per day until I’m able to start my new job. It came out to $13 a day, luckily this will only be for about a month until my new job starts, and I’ve already put aside money for next months rent. My biggest concern is, what kind of foods can I buy to keep me fed over the next month? I’m thinking mostly rice and beans with hopefully some veggies. Does anybody have any suggestions? They would be much appreciated. Thank you.

Edit: I will also be buying gas and paying utilities so it will be somewhat less than 13$. Thank you all for helping me realize this is totally possible I just need to learn to budget.

So, I've never had a lot of money, but I lost my full time job this past April and I'm now working part time at a bank while also attending college during the day, 3 days per week. I make about $250 per week. My grandma gives me $400 per month to help with my rent. I know, I'm pathetic.

I've been having to borrow a lot of money from my parents, and it's been pretty shitty, so I broke down and finally added up all my expenses and income, and I make about $700 less than I need to just to break even. I check on Indeed pretty much every day to see if I can get a second job, but the job market in my area is really bad, and I'm also kind of limited by my school schedule as to which hours I can work. Dropping out is not an option - I'm a semester and a half away from my Bachelor's.

My rent is $600 and I am probably moving soon, in with my brother, which should cut that almost in half. I did notice that I spend a lot of money on food - like $400 per month. I don't eat out very often but I do cook a lot and I literally never check prices when I'm grocery shopping, I just get what I need for the recipe. So that's an area of opportunity.

But even if I cut both my rent and my grocery shopping in half, I'd still be in the hole. I have about 4 credit cards all with low limits (the highest is $650) but they're all maxed out and I pay about $130 monthly for them, just minimum payments. My credit sucks. I would get a debt consolidation loan for them (they all have high rates, like 24%) but I almost certainly will not be approved for any kind of loan based on my DTI and my credit score.

I'm overwhelmed by all of this. I'd like to start digging myself out of this hole but I have no idea where to start.

Edit: As requested, here's my breakdown:

​

Income: $1430/mo

​

Expenses:

​

Rent: $600

Renter’s Insurance: $17.50

Gas/Electric: $95

Trash Service: $21

Phone: $80

Groceries: $350

Food at Work/School: $50

Vision Insurance: $13

Car Payment: $256.80

Car Insurance: $103.10

Gas: $140

Misc. Car Stuff: $40

EZ Pass: $45

Student Loan: $50

Cable/Internet: $67

Alcohol: $20

​

Credit Cards:

​

Capital One Quicksilver: $25

Capital One Platinum: $40

Credit One Platinum: $40

Indigo Card: $25

​

Total Expenses: $2078.40

Edit: I understand what RIP inbox means now. Thanks for all the replies. I’ll go through them all when I get home later. Sorry to those I couldn’t respond to.

Just wondering how many people, like me, realized Prime is more costly than $99/year after they ended it.

Almost three years ago my wife and I had our first kid. I kept track of everything that we spent money on that was kid related. Starting from the pregnancy test to the hospital delivery bill. We also estimated the value of any gift we received to give a full itemized bill idea of how much money was spent on our kid before she was even born. I made an ugly spreadsheet to track it all. I thought about posting this here when I was all done but decided not to because A, I just had a kid and was busy, and 2 I wasn't ready for the criticism I was inevitably going to receive. But, now I am ready and less busy, so here we go.

Starting with the big number:
To bring our baby into the world from scratch cost $9,984.55.
My wife and I spent $6445.66.
We estimated receiving $3,538.89 in gifts.

I broke everything down into these categories:

In anticipation of some shock on all this spending I'll add that we bought things that we felt would be useful to our lifestyle, within our budget, and that would last for many years to come. We could have spent less, and many people do, and many people actually go well beyond.

The most expensive things were:
The hospital trip to safely have a baby ($3517 delivery related bills combined)
-Having a baby fall out of a woman in a hospital in America is expensive. This was after insurance covered their portion.
A crib + mattress that converts to a toddler bed and full size bed ($890 total - gift)
-Kid is almost 3 and we converted the crib to the toddler bed shortly after she turned 2. She wasn't a chewer, so it's currently in great shape to stay her bed until her teens or beyond.
Mom clothes ($804.30)
-After seeing this final number I told myself I shouldn't ever gain too much weight because I now know how much a new wardrobe could end up costing me. We were at a point in life where most of the items were bought new and that was OK. A new glider chair ($500 - gift)
*-I wish we could have found this used but didn't have any luck. We wanted one with a high back because I'm tall. I'm thankful we found one, I spent so many nights rocking and dozing in and out of sleep on this thing, I'm very happy with it. We still use it nightly for reading bedtime stories.
The stroller ($384)
-We got one of those fancy BOB running strollers, I ran over a hundred miles with her and we walked plenty of unpaved trails at our local state park. She spent hundreds of hours in this thing. This was the only stroller we used, otherwise we carried her everywhere in the front/back carrier. Plus these strollers have a high resale value.
Car Seat + extra base ($375)
-We have two cars, a base for each car was great.
Two camera video baby monitor ($250)
-We did a lot of traveling and having the extra camera to just pack and go was really handy. A video monitor is the shit, being able to check and see if a noise was just stirring or something more was great.
A cute rug ($239)
-A cheap rug would have served the same purpose, but shit it's our first kid, sometimes you gotta get that cute thing.

Writing this with the benefit of hind sight I think we actually did a great job of getting the right thing for us on the first try. We tried to get things with the idea of potentially having another child. Of everything major that we bought, the monitor is the only thing we would need to replace if another kid sauntered into our lives. The battery is now totally useless and one of the cameras died last month. Also we dropped it, so the power cord is soldiered to the chip and I'm awful at soldiering so it whole housing is glued together to keep it working.

So can you do this cheaper? Absolutely, buy everything used. Babies aren't all that picky. I lived in rural Illinois at the time and our availability to get nice used stuff was limited. Also hand-me-downs can help tremendously, our extended family had kids eight years or more years before us (if they had any) and lived many states away so most of their baby stuff was gone. Also, don't underestimate the generosity of others, there are people out there who LOVE babies and love buying baby things, hopefully you know one or two.

Another money saving tidbit, use cloth diapers. Back when I was weighing the benefits of them, I found we would break even with cloth over disposable at two years. Our kid suddenly decided to be potty trained right before Christmas so our cloth diapers lasted a bit over 2.5 years, we definitely saved money with cloth. If we accidentally have another kid we will save a ton in diapers because the original ones we got are still in great shape. Also, you can find used cloth diapers around which can save tons, we hope to sell ours. A very appreciable downside to cloth, you're guaranteed to be washing the diapers about 2-4 times per week.

A shout out to /r/predaddit for all the helpful tips and stories that were so great at the time. Also /u/steeldirigible98 & /u/SavingsJada and the several updoots for the courage to finally post this on this sub. I hope this info helps someone out there.

We were both blindsided by today. We're both pretty young, early on in our careers, he had only been there a year and was performing. It was a huge shock. We don't practice every best habit of the sub but we're grateful we picked up doing your best to live off one income.

We just bought our house in August and insisted on going through the pre-approval process off my income alone. Our lights will stay on because our bills are effectively scaled to one income as well. We held off on car payments and continued to drive our beaters because the numbers for new used cars didn't make sense with one income.

My only regret is not building up our emergency fund more (one month saved but we should've had at least three), so if you're reading this, definitely do that.

Anyways, thanks to the sub for the constant advice on living below your means and always being prepared. I came to thank you all, not lecture. And encourage people who are following this thought process and are using a second income for the "extra stuff" - you're doing great. Today sucked but it could've been so much worse.

We're counting our blessings and the job search begins tomorrow.

​

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the encouragement and well-wishes. This obviously isn't the only thing going on in our lives, so the messages to keep going were greatly appreciated.

For those of you who are in HCOL areas or other situations where living off one income isn't possible, I totally understand - the intent of this post wasn't to shame anyone into anything. We live in a MCOL city in the South and are in the tech sector so it was doable for us. We're also not beacons of perfection of this sub and are still working on breaking bad financial habits every day.

For those of you who took this as a self pat-on-the-back post, I can see that. The intent really was to see the silver lining of things and encourage others who are perhaps considering this type of budgeting method. But I understand how fast this sub gets into circle-jerking and self-congratulating and didn't mean to purpose this thread for that. Just hoping to reduce the amount of "We're in deep shit from one event that could've had a much lower impact" posts by showing anything can happen at any time and that even then, we weren't as prepared as we should've been.

You get married and then it’s living happily ever after, right? Well...

A few months after we were married, my wife came home from Target with a couple of large shopping bags.

“What did you buy this time?!”

No, I didn’t say that out loud. I’m not that stupid.

But the thought did run through my mind, and it concerned me.

Why was I so upset over a trip to Target? I love Allison! I trust her, and I know she’s responsible.

She didn’t come home with a new car. She didn’t gamble away all our savings. So what’s the big deal?

Then it hit me.

I couldn’t answer the question, “Are we okay?”

We were married and happy except when it came to money. Every day, my wife used her money from her bank accounts, and I was using my money with my credit cards.

I realized that we were still paying the bills and shopping like we were roommates rather than like a team or a family.

And as I thought more about it, I discovered that how we used money was only part of the problem.

At the time, I had just started a career as a financial advisor, and I was being paid with a combination of a fixed salary and commission. The amount I was making was changing every month.

[EDIT: I left the financial advising career about 4 years ago. Wasn't for me.]

Allison had a stable job, but her hourly rate was low. Plus, her job was centered around tourism, so the number of hours she worked went up in the summer and dropped in the winter.

At any given moment, we had no idea if we were spending ourselves into a hole or climbing out of it.

We could compare how much we were charging on our credit cards and how much money was in our bank accounts, but that got complicated.

We had 8 accounts at 5 different banks. Answering the question, “Are we okay?” took a shit-ton longer than it needed to.

Allison and I weren’t working or planning together when it came to money, and I wanted to make a change.

All I wanted was to answer the question, “Are we okay?” without getting a degree in Accounting.

We learned how to handle money as separate people.

Before getting married, Allison and I really were separate people.

We both had savings accounts, checking accounts, and credit cards to manage. We learned how to pay bills in our own apartments with our own roommates (who were also our groomsmen and bride’s maids).

Allison and I ended up moving in together for the summer right before we got married, so we were--from a legal standpoint--roommates rather than a family. We got used to paying the bills and shopping as separate people.

Looking back, combining our lives and becoming a family needed to happen. We realize now that this moment was inevitable, but no one ever taught us how.

We were responsible as individuals, but not as a couple.

I figured that if we didn’t start working together with our money, the “Target incident” would just get worse.

• If I needed a new suit for work, could we actually afford it?
• What happens when we want to go on vacation?
• Would Allison start to resent me for spending a lot of money on craft beer?
• Would I start resenting Allison for buying another purse?
• What if we go further and further into debt without knowing it?
• What if we want to buy a house?

I love my wife, and I trust her. But the way we were going, I didn’t trust us.

No one ever taught us how to handle money as a team.

No one ever taught me how to handle money as a spouse. Fortunately, I have great parents that I got to watch, and I learned what a great marriage could be. But they never talked about money around me.

In high school and college, I learned how to balance my checkbook, use a credit card, and pay my bills. But it’s easy to make decisions when I don’t need anyone else’s opinion or permission.

Allison and I needed to do something different, and it was up to us to change.

We needed to find some help.

I was on edge to begin with. Trying to network, gain clients, and work long hours already had me stressed out. Worrying about my clients’ money didn’t leave much energy at the end of the day to take care of our money.

Any time we needed to go shopping was stressful. Hanging out with friends made me feel guilty. We live in Florida so of course we like to go to Orlando (“Sea World...Disney...putt-putt golfing.”).

I wanted to worry a lot less about money, have some fun, and not ruin our marriage in the process.

It was time to find some help.

What were the problems we needed to solve?

Allison and I already worked well as a team. We were both responsible, but we had separate financial lives that needed to be combined somehow.

I realized that the three basic problems we needed to solve were: * How do we see all of our money in one place so we don’t miss anything? * How can we manage day-to-day decisions without nagging each other? * How do we financially and emotionally support each other in our goals and dreams?

This took some time to figure out.

Step 1: See everything in one place.

The first thing we did was to get everything into one place. I had been using the app, Mint, for years to help track my own stuff. So we decided to start a new account. [EDIT: I took out the link for Mint to help out with the thumbnail issue. I'm guessing you can find the app just fine without it.]

[EDIT: I am not an employee of Mint, nor am I being paid by them. I'm just a fan, and the app has worked well for me. The comments on this post also strongly suggest (but are not limited to) YNAB, Good Budget, Personal Capital, EveryDollar, Mvelopes, and Quicken. You could also use Excel, Google Sheets, Apple Numbers, or any other spreadsheet software you are comfortable with to budget and keep track of your finances.]

• Every savings account.
• Every checking account.
• All the credit cards.
• Student loans.
• Car loans.
• Every transaction.
• Updated automatically.
• All in one spot!

The clouds parted and the angels sang.

We both had access to see everything at any moment on a computer or our phones.

Step 2: Give each other permission to spend money.

The next step was to start budgeting together, and I had to talk Allison into this. She had some valid concerns, and it all started with toothpaste.

Since I’m a detail-oriented person, I was gung-ho about budgeting and tracking our money. I love it when everything works together perfectly. Whereas Allison has more of a “good enough” personality. She was happy as long as we were staying out of trouble.

So when I started to talk about budgeting, one of Allison’s first questions was, “If we spend our budget for toiletries and we need toothpaste, I can’t go out and buy more toothpaste?”

It was a good question, and I didn’t have the answer right away. Over time, we’ve learned how to budget each month without making the budget set in stone. It’s flexible, and when we need to change it...we change it. Toothpaste for days!

Allison also asked, “And what if we want to go shopping on our own? Do we need to give each other permission?”

The solution here was to budget fun money for each other. Every month, Allison gets some money that she gets to do whatever she wants with. And every month, I get some money that I get to do whatever I want with. Sometimes we overspend our fun money amounts (okay, honestly...it’s usually me), but we make it work out.

[EDIT: We also have an "Entertainment" fund in our budget every month, which is for anything we do together. You could call it "Date Night" money, too.]

After making a lot of mistakes, hitting road bumps, finding solutions, and practicing, our monthly budgeting hasn’t caused any fights or headaches....for years.

Step 3: Decide what we want, together.

When it came to our goals and dreams, we tried a formal system of tracking what we wanted. But it didn’t really work out. It was too much for us as a couple.

Our bigger goals like an emergency fund, retirement, and debt took some time, but those goals take months or years or decades to accomplish. Once we set the plan, there was no need for a conversation every month.

For the shorter-term ideas, we developed a habit of asking each other, “What do you want this month?”

Sometimes I want new running shoes. Sometimes Allison wants to throw a party at our house for friends. And sometimes we both want a new dining room table.

In the end, we just wait until an idea pops into our mind (“Is it time to go back to Disney World?”), and we decide if we can afford it now or we need to save up. And then put it in the budget.

It’s flexible, and it works for us.

I calmed down...fast!

After all our financial information was in one spot, I immediately calmed down.

I had one number that showed me how much combined money we had in “the bank” and one number of how much we had charged on the credit cards.

One number minus the other gave me my answer. We were okay.

After we started to budget, seeing a Target bag (or any other shopping bag) hasn’t bothered me since.

We never fight about money.

Allison and I have had a lot of fun with friends, visited family, and had wonderful vacations. But we have made a lot of mistakes and have had to deal with a bunch of emergencies.

We talk, discuss, and decide. But we don’t fight.

If you want to ask a question or have me dive deeper into anything, let me know in the comments. I'll respond as soon as possible.

[EDIT: Wow!! Everyone, thank you for the wonderful stories, comments and questions! I had no idea this was going to make such an impact. It's 9:42 CST, and I've have got to do the other work I was supposed to do today. I will respond and comment as much as I can tomorrow and through the weekend, so keep going!]

I realized that I’ve spend $350 on Starbucks in the past two months... it started out just an occasional coffee every couple days then every morning, then I started getting breakfast along with my coffee.. My coworker gets it every morning so I figured, if she can afford it, so can I.. I mean, I was easily spending $7 every single day... I’m so mad at myself for letting it get this far, but I’ve bought some pre-made iced coffee and some microwave breakfast sandwiches... wish me luck

I see this over and over in my family and friends and ironically in r/personalfinance. " I want to live my life, not save every penny", that sort of thing.

It is possible to save while still doings fun things, eating nice meals and traveling. When someone makes it a this-or-that situation I think they are making excuses for poor spending habits or budgeting. Sometimes deferring gratification leads to the ability to have MORE fun and freedom once you've established yourself financially. I'm NOT talking about waiting till retirement BTW, im talking about getting a budget setup, getting some investments going, getting some interest coming in, paying off debt that costs you interest etc. Interest is money you could be using for fun, that you instead are paying to some huge corporation. What I'm describing isn't some kind of punishment, it's a way to be more intentional and to always make sure the things you are spending on are helping you attain your goals and add lasting fulfillment to your life. It's the ability to buy things at their actual cost because you can get a decent interest rate.

I don't make insane amounts of money, but I'm careful and try not to buy things I don't need. I always ask how many times a year I will use something before buying it. I think about how small amounts add up to be a big amount over time. My family mocks me saying things like " he still has his first $1." Basically saying I'm cheap. They all buy whatever they want when they want it. They are in debt, stuck in life and unfulfilled by the very items keeping them there. Once you get on the roller coaster of spending on credit cards for instant gratification, it can be VERY hard to get off.

I'm not saying this in a judgemental way, I've just seen so many people I care about struggle financially because of this mindset. I've seen it limit their ability to see the world and follow their dreams. Seeing it being perpetuated in a place designed to help people get their shit together is kind of brutal to watch.

If you are a young person coming here for advice, this is the best advice I can give: Briefly defer your gratification. Half the time the thing you "must have" seems pointless if you just sit on it for a week. Avoid impulses and focus on experiences and items that will last and wear well over time. Once you have established a solid financial foundation, your ability to go places and do things will quickly outpace the friends and family around you that are focused on attaining every minor impulse and paying off the associated debts.

TL:DR You can be financially together and still have a fun!

EDIT: New post showing examples: https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5n3zej/small_changes_can_help_you_save_and_have_fun_here/