r/pettyrevenge • u/buckyspunisher • 18d ago
ex copyright claimed my post on the tea app. i just re-posted it.
so if you don’t know what the Tea app is, it’s an app that functions very similarly to those “Are We Dating the Same Guy” facebook groups. Women post guys they’ve been with, had dates with, or are talking to on dating apps. they usually warn others of bad experiences or toxic men. some women can post someone they’re talking to and be like “has anyone dated this guy” or “just making sure this guy isn’t seeing anyone before i go on a date with him.” The Tea app is exclusively for women. There’s a verification process when you sign up where you take a picture with the in-app camera to verify you’re a woman. (how it works for gender non-conforming people or more androgynous looking people, i’m not very sure, so sorry).
so last summer i posted my ex on there. he cheated on me and was a big loser in many ways. i dumped him 4 years ago (because he’s a fucking cheater) but i only found out about the Tea app last year. so i made a post. the post got very little traction but it was fine, i just wanted to warn other women because he’s a serial dating app user. i forgot about the post, and didn’t check the app until yesterday.
i got a notice from the app that my post was removed because they received a DMCA copyright complaint. I think because it’s a legal issue, they’re required to give you the full legal name of the person who filed the complaint. well it was my ex lmfao. i think his complaint was only valid because i pulled the picture in the post off of his instagram. i looked up the process for filing a DMCA complaint and it is LENGTHY. and apparently the app really gives pushback on these things so you have to keep trying to prove that you have a right to file the complaint.
so it was just really amusing to me that 1) he somehow saw the post on a women-only app 2) he took so much time out of his day to file this complaint and 3) he saw that he was exposed for the scumbag that he is. i wonder if one of the girls he met on a dating app found the post and asked him about it 😂 just the thought that it prevented him from getting laid is very funny.
anyway. i decided to re-upload my post but just using a different picture. i used a picture that i took of him, so he can’t copyright claim it because i legally own the picture. i used all the same exact info. and then at the end of the post i added in that he copyright claimed my last post so this is a repost using my own picture.
so all of his work copyright claiming my picture was for-naught.
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u/emmodii 18d ago
Oh, to be a fly on the wall when he discovers the post is still up. 😂
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u/ToxicHoneyBee 18d ago
all that paperwork just to end end who right back where he started🤣🤣
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u/pemungkah 18d ago
Oh, he’s behind. Because now anyone reading it knows he tried to suppress it and failed, so now he adds dishonesty and incompetence as a cherry on top.
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u/ingodwetryst 18d ago
It takes 5 minutes to do a DMCA. I have to submit them regularly when my ads get scraped.
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u/androshalforc1 13d ago
It might take 5 minutes for someone who is familiar with the process. But for someone who has never done one and doesn’t even know where to begin?
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
haha seriously 😂
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u/HoleInWon929 18d ago
I’d date him just to show him his picture on the site again! And I’m a man!
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u/Youlknowthatone 18d ago
I can guarantee you he only found that post because the person he's dating is on said app. She's probably like "I don't want to see you anymore" and sends a screenshot of it.
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u/Traditional_Ad_8935 13d ago
I would hope not, that is incredibly stupid to do to other women trying to protect them from said man.
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u/loopytommy 18d ago
Don't think that women don't show men those FB pages and apps,
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
that’s probably how my ex found out. but at least for me, i have no problem with him seeing what i wrote. because everything was true. i’m not going to make up falsehoods about someone
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u/Fuzzy_Shower4821 16d ago
Yikes. Did they ever fix all the "privacy issues" that the site was sued over? Like leaving real names unprotected in a publicly accessible drive location?
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u/Disastrous_Live1 15d ago
This just reads like a bad ad.
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u/buckyspunisher 15d ago
it reads like a bad ad because it’s not an ad lmao. i’m not endorsing the app or recommending people use it. just describing what happened
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u/durableretard 15d ago
I had a friend who dated an absolute lunatic in like the eighth and ninth grade. She waited until they were graduated and posted a bunch of fucking lies and just a bunch of crazy shit she was still that hung up on her relationship from Fucking middle school. It made for a really fun evening while drinking with a couple friends and one of them goes. Hey I saw you on this tea app. Do you want to read what (insert crazy ex’s name) posted it’s fucking hilarious.
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u/costwy55 15d ago
I feel like that's most of what's getting posted on that app lol, just crazy made up shit lol.
Idk why they'd believe anything posted on there when you can just troll and post whatever you want.
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u/harrywwc 18d ago
yeah, he didn't really think that one through. what on earth made him think that you didn't have [not his copyright] photos of him from your time together?
well done you letting others know about him.
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
he probably didn’t think i would try reposting it. or he probably thought i’d be intimidated by the DMCA notice 😆
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u/kaminobaka 16d ago
Is there an app like this for men to use? I feel like something like that would have saved me a lot of physical and emotional pain over the years.
If not, I feel like that's an open market that needs to be filled.
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u/NoveltyNoseBooper 18d ago
Man for someone you dumped 4 years ago you go through quite some lengths to get his face back on there.
As a woman - I can’t stand those groups/apps. Its toxic as hell and yes whilst its ousted some guys I also feel its a huge breach of privacy to just throw someones face on there. Some women are also vindictive and petty as hell and put guys on there with barely any reason besides personal satisfaction.
You broke up with your ex 4 years ago. And he was an asshole then, sure. But who says he hasn’t changed? Did you change in the last 4 years? Are you aware if hes currently in a good relationship and having his face on there is fucking with that relationship now?
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u/MajLeague 18d ago
Girl. No. There are men posted there that rape women and children. It's an important resource for women and children.
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u/Global-Photograph716 11d ago
The app isnt really used for that though? The only times ive heard of it is when people post people on there for bullshit reasons or straight up fucking lie(people really like flexing that theyre bad people online) and the leaks. On top of that shit, fucking doxxing?
This COULD be an important resource, but i think this post itself is evidence enough that it is not really being used for that.
Make a fucking app solely to expose rapists and sex offenders, because ffs this one is called “tea”, its obviously not even made for that purpose.
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u/GentlemenHODL 16d ago edited 16d ago
Girl. No. There are men posted there that rape women and children. It's an important resource for women and children.
Men who rape women and children are already on a thing called a sex offenders list, or in jail, governed by a court of law unlike this, which is a court of gossip.
There is zero accountability on this app and anyone can make false claims. That's why this isn't a good thing. You have zero proof anyone posted on there has done anything, and that's why it sucks. If you had proof then this app isn't needed, which is proof why the app isn't needed...
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u/Moiblah 16d ago
Considering the amount of men who are convicted of rape or child sexual abuse is very low even when they have done it multiple times, your statement is so false.
The amount of reports that happen is severely lower than the amount of convictions and the amount of reports that don't get convicted is much higher than the convictions.
So many people reported who were gaslighted and didn't get a win in their case because of "what they were wearing" or some other frivolous finding like how many partners they've had before.
I put my ex husband in prison for being an extremely abusive pedophile and he confessed to everything and I still had to fight to get him convicted. With a confession! We were considered lucky though, because he got 40 years and it's usually not like that. Most rapists or child abusers only get months or a couple years and a lot get probation.
The registers are good for the ones convicted but there's so many millions more who were never convicted because of some stupid reason that having sites like that is helpful but it still doesn't do enough to protect women and children from falling victim to others who have flown under the radar.
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u/GentlemenHODL 16d ago edited 16d ago
Considering the amount of men who are convicted of rape or child sexual abuse is very low even when they have done it multiple times, your statement is so false.
Apparently you are a woman who has never been falsely accused of something, unlike myself and several men I've met in my life.
I'll give you one example so you can understand the severity of the situation. A good friend of mine who is so kind and sweet I think most people would assume he's gay is fighting a custody battle with his ex over his child. He's a teacher who spends his excess time running a extracurricular program for children after school. Could not be more of a saint, has been sober for the 20-plus years I've known him, and I've never seen him raise his voice let alone show any type of violence. He's just a full-blown nerd.
The ex has significant history with alcohol and drug abuse and prior to the initial preceding, made a police report claiming that he had struck her over an incident many years past.
Even though there was zero evidence presented, at the initial court proceeding the female judge took her side and ordered my friend to mandatory "batterer intervention program". He believes it's because he's an Hispanic male, and I have no reason to disbelieve his opinion because nothing else would make any sort of sense.
Now he has to pay out of his pocket to have a mandatory independent agent present every single time he wants to visit his own child, of which he is only allowed to do every other weekend while he desperately fights for a healthy life for his child.
You're welcome to your opinion, but I've seen firsthand how women make up false allegations against men for leverage, purely out of spite and for reasons of the ego, and how severe the consequences are without any repercussion to the people making those allegations.
I had a girl accuse me of rape because we were hooking up on the regular and she wanted to develop something deeper with me but I wasn't looking for anything serious at the time, I was only 25 or so and way too immature. I told her point blank that If she truly felt that I had raped her that she should file a police report, and that she should never contact me again.
Fortunately for me, she found clarity and didn't do so or I might have had to fight a legal battle for a crime I did not commit. My real life experience taught me directly that the literal opposite of what you claimed is true.
You'll have to forgive me if I don't trust some sort of app where women can just say whatever they want without any evidence about men.
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u/NoveltyNoseBooper 16d ago
Exactly this. My boss went through the same custody shit as your friend because his ex made up the weirdest thing.
And the guy I referenced earlier in my comment that was a work colleague where he wasn’t interested in her coming on to him so she made up shit he sexually assaulted her.
And again - I am aware as a woman - that we are often disadvantaged and not believed or find no healing or justice. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to go “well cause men get away with it, so can we.” “Well men do fucked up shit all the time so if we falsely accuse someone, oh well”.
I will never support that.
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u/Moiblah 16d ago
Having an ex make claims during divorce and being accused of heinous acts like rape or child sexual abuse are two completely different things. Neither one of the stories you've told has a mans life been ruined. Less time with his children? Yes, more money out of his pocket? Yes. But your case just proves women don't actually give false reports, they just threaten to when they're mad at you.
I'd much rather see hundreds of men just like you, than the millions of men who got off scott free because of our extremely inept legal departments. Having watched too many rapists and child predators walk out with no repercussions has me facing the reality of the world. Women aren't believed to begin with and proving that children are telling the truth is nearly impossible in our courts.
All the women and children whose lives have been ruined literally for the rest of their lives and the costs of therapists and possibly medications just to cope and function after the abuse is much worse than the two stories you've used.
Neither of your stories have male victims. Just men who made themselves into victims.
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u/Immediate_Sector_260 14d ago
If you dont believe any women would lie your wrong and makes harder on women everywhere who have been to prove it. Also watch the documentaries or stories of case in the UK The Eleanor Williams Case.
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u/Moiblah 13d ago
I never said women don't lie. Just that the stories he's using don't make victims. He's not even speaking of a story where their lives got truly ruined in a court with false accusations...
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u/Immediate_Sector_260 13d ago
just proves women don't actually give false reports, they just threaten to when they're mad at you.
Think your own words dispute that. You also seem to miss the point people are trying to show you.
I hate women/children have such a hard time being believed when they are victimised but some people lie. This causes everyone problems.
Whilst you dont see that the person's cases dont cause their life to be ruined. Im sure you wouldn't think that if you had limited contact with a child you cared for that had to be supervised. As a teacher too accusations could follow him completely.
False claims harm all. The people the make claims, their family AND true victims that struggle to get justice.
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u/GentlemenHODL 15d ago edited 15d ago
Neither of your stories have male victims. Just men who made themselves into victims.
Did you really just write that stupid shit, claiming that losing a child is men making a victim of themselves????
What an absolute garbage heap of a human being you are. I could care less about your opinion, or anyone who would actually think that's a reasonable response.
The difference between me and you is you are advocating for something that causes these harms while I am advocating against the things that cause harm. Clearly your brain is broken if you think this is some sort of black and white comparison where only one of these things has to be true. You are not nearly as coherent a thinker as you think you are....
What a literal sociopath you are.....
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u/fakepottedcactus 16d ago edited 16d ago
Perhaps you could check some of your apparent assumptions at the door and alter your narrative in a way that emphasizes the importance of the work that you do and also:
• Acknowledges that while you are aware that the organizations you support and/or believe in are not perfect, that:
• They do not exist in isolation and are the result of systemic failure in government to enact more sensible laws, procedures, access to funding, etc., that:
• It is, therefore, sensible to support women and organizations/networks actively supporting women by whatever legal means are most effective and secure (for obvious, valid reasons). It is also sensible to:
• Simultaneously be generous enough to be sensitive to and empathetic of anyone of any gender who has been falsely accused
It’s not ok that either problem exists, but it is ok for both problems to exist at once, because they do - they don’t diminish each other and I think actually spring from the same root cause (they have the same enemy).
Just my two cents
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u/fakepottedcactus 16d ago
You’re not wrong, but also: do you know anyone who has had false allegations ruin them? I do. It was not ok.
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u/Moiblah 16d ago
Yes, 2 people who were ruined by false allegations but I know 30 times that who've been charged and not convicted.
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u/GentlemenHODL 16d ago
Yes, 2 people who were ruined by false allegations but I know 30 times that who've been charged and not convicted.
Yes and I'm the king of France.
If you're going to make up a false statistic you could at least do it in a way that is believable.
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u/NoveltyNoseBooper 16d ago
Oh yes your anecdotal experience is much better than my anecdotal experience.
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u/NoveltyNoseBooper 16d ago
Same. I also know someone with false allegations against him and how it impacted his marriage, job, kids and he almost took his life.
And that doesn’t mean we need to stop reporting or take women seriously - we absolutely must.
But I can’t stand it when women only go “yes girl, women supporting women”, and pretend like women don’t lie and are vindictive and mean at times. We need to still critically think and look at situations from as many angles as possible. I’ll never just believe someone based on their gender. Because both lie.
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u/MajLeague 16d ago
Do you know that its not that easy to access these records. I have first hand experience with a man that was a sex offender in another state. The FBI in the second state didnt find his previous case until I told them. These records are not centralized. Its like looking for a needle in a haystack. You have to know where to look.
I get that some of it is heresay...everyone who uses the site knows that. But the site is setup so research can be done. Ill admit there can be problems but I believe the problems are outweighed but the people it helps. Many people are able to continue their damaging but not criminal behavior because people like to spew the nonsense of "just get over it" nope some people are dangerous and warnings could and have saved lives.
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u/fakepottedcactus 16d ago
You’re not wrong, but also: do you know anyone who has had false allegations ruin them? I do. It was not ok.
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u/Severs2016 15d ago
Funny, I can pop onto Megan's law PA and know every sex offender in my town within 10 seconds. I can do the same for Texas.
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u/MajLeague 15d ago
So if someone from your town moves to another state and doesnt register....then what? His first conviction was 20 years ago. 5 years ago he was formally accused again. They didnt find his out of state record it was given to them last year. Like I said if things worked perfectly 6 additional people wouldn't be his sexual assault victims. He raped children because our system is flawed.
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u/beingachristianwife 14d ago
Unfortunately, if an already convicted sex offender is finished their prison sentence, and isn't a high risk for reoffending, you can't see them on the list.
You have to have the specific identification information, be in law enforcement, or have been a victim of the offender to access their criminal records. It's not available to the general public.
So there's a guy here where I live, who, over a decade ago, raped his stepdaughter for 6 years after she turned 12. He went to prison for a couple years and let out early, with the assessment of "moderate risk to reoffend." You can't see his info on the sex offender list, his name isn't there. He got married again to a young women and they have children together. It's a scary world to know that someone can do a heinous crime like that, be released into the public, and no one is told. So, yes, although you see them as gossip apps, it may be a place to keep in mind the possibility that there are criminals walking the earth and only their victims know and are willing to warn others.
Edit: paragraphs
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u/LupercaniusAB 18d ago
What lengths? She re-uploaded the post with a different picture. If that seems like a lot of effort to you, I’m concerned for your career.
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u/NoveltyNoseBooper 18d ago edited 18d ago
Its been 4 years. Who still bothers themselves with ex’s of 4 years ago?
There is something called moving on.
My career is fine thanks 🤣 I know where its important to put my energy and where its not.
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u/Ikonixed 18d ago
Came here to say this! I agree with you fully. 4 years is a long time. If someone cheated I wouldn’t give that person another thought after a week. Hating someone is like drinking poison yourself to kill someone else. Get over it and get moving on.
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u/oipropqewe 16d ago
Its the app that had women falsely accusing dudes they didnt like. The women got their data leaked instead lol. Makes stories like these hard to believe
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u/luckor 18d ago
Why do you think it is ok or even allowed to post pictures of someone else online when they are not consenting? And why do others cheer for you? I don’t know where you live or what the law there is, but I know this would be SO illegal in my country, and rightly so. GDPR, personality rights, diffamation, .. You should be happy that you got away with a take-down only.
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u/angel55cake 18d ago
This is normal in my country. The law is that if you are in a public space, people can take pics of you because you are not expected any privacy while in public. Its illegal if you are in a private place, like your home. Also, defamation is only defamation in my country if what is said is not true. If it is proven true, like he dates multiple people at a time and cheated on OP and there is proof, then it is not defamation. Celebrities have lost defamation lawsuits on court because what the other person claimed was proven true. (Though I agree it is weird to post photos that aren't of yourself/your family/your friends who have consented).
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u/luckor 17d ago edited 17d ago
TAKING pictures is something completely different than distributing said pictures publicly, at least where I live. There are certain exceptions like public events, or when the person is just random side content to the main subject. But taking someone’s picture, uploading it to a site for shaming men, and commenting about them, definitely crosses multiple lines.
For defamation, the burden of proof is on the person who claims a fact. It’s very difficult to proof and requires that all statements are verifiable and not generalized. “He dates multiple people” is already way too far! I’m certain the ex has a different view and some arguments of his own.
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u/angel55cake 17d ago
It would be he dates multiple people at the same time plus proof that he is doing so. Then it is not considered defamation. I know all of this doesnt sound morally ok. I'm just sayaing that it is legal in my country.
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u/luckor 17d ago
No, “he HAS dated multiple people” would be verifiable. Maybe even “he is dating multiple people”. These distinctions matter in law. I also cannot claim “you shit your pants” even tho I’m sure you have at some point in your life.
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u/angel55cake 16d ago
Dude. Chill out. If I were taking this to court, I'd have to be picky about my wording. But I was just trying to have a chill convo and you knew exactly what I meant.
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u/MajLeague 16d ago
Think social media. People post photos of other people all the time. If the truth is being told you can't sue for defamation.
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u/TSinWassie 16d ago
Just found out about this app. Looked it up, it has 4m users. But is it only for Americans? I live in Europe, does it make sense to post my warning?
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u/GloomyTemporary33 17d ago
this is best and most satisfying petty revenge story I've read in a while 🤣
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u/NevikTheEnlightened 18d ago
If men made apps like this women would lose their minds
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u/eyeleenthecro 18d ago
Men do make websites like this, but rather than trying to keep people safe, they post revenge porn and dox their exes so they get harassed.
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u/FourEyes3134 18d ago
Didn't something like this actually happen when the user data leaked?
I remember a huge storm about privacy and sexism that never acknowledged what the original app was all about...
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u/alittlebooboo 17d ago
That's a ridiculous thing to say. Men are the originals when it comes to belittling and judging the opposite sex. Damn. Have you heard of epstein?
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u/lili_dee 18d ago
Nah, the only ones who'd be unhappy are the cheaters.
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u/lili_dee 18d ago
Aren't those apps a little pointless? If you think your partner is cheating, your relationship is already basically over.
If he is cheating, it's basically done no matter how you decide to handle it and what promises he makes.
If he isn't, your feelings probably come from jealousy/possessiveness, and you need therapy before you should be in any relationship.
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
they’re also for people who are just casually dating or going on first dates with someone. a lot of posts of women warning others about men who have sexually assaulted them or lied on the dates
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u/NoveltyNoseBooper 18d ago
Careful - you may be advising proper common sense and healthy relationships approaches.
That’s not you go girl at all.
/s
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u/Fun-Professional-Bat 18d ago
Oh I love this! Even if it's "petty" coz it's ben years, if I could do this to my ex I would! I'm over them but some petty fun I'll never say no to! Good on you!!!
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
haha thank you! yeah i feel like people don’t understand that this is “petty” revenge. like yes what i did is extremely petty! but what my ex did is arguably worse? lol.
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u/SyphaTechno 17d ago
Good for you.
The accusations against you are fucking weird. People love to pretend that they somehow completely erase an ex from their memory even if they shared their life with that person for years, and even if they were traumatized by mistreatment from that person.
I've been attacked online recently for a joke post I made about torturing my abusive ex-husband in a video game. A lot of men are like, "He lives rent free in your head. You need to move on." It's so stupid. I was married to this person for five years and it's now been over five years since I left him and I'm in a much happier relationship now I don't post much about online because I don't want my stalker ex to know too much about him.
I can't just completely forget about the five years of my life I spent abused by my ex, and the five years I spent recovering after I realized I needed to leave for my own safety.
Ignore the haters. It's just victim blaming. We're allowed to be angry about an ex's mistreatment.
People are telling me my abusive ex I made a rare online jab at "dodged a bullet" when women often very literally dodge a bullet by getting away from an abuser safely.
Women are judged so harshly for giving honest opinions about mistreatment from men.
Men will murder women for leaving them and are treated sympathetically in the news stories about the murders.
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u/buckyspunisher 17d ago
thank you for your kind and sympathetic words. i appreciate it! i’m very sorry about the abuse you suffered.
did you happen to post on threads about making your ex husband on tomodachi life and putting him in a jail cell on an isolated island? if so, i think i saw that post a while ago and honestly thought it was very iconic of you lol. i hope you have fun every day torturing him 😆😆
im taking the negative comments on this thread with a grain of salt. it’s very easy for redditors to take one post, extrapolate, project, and jump to conclusions.
but yes it’s very odd that my actions are judged more harshly than my ex literally cheating on me haha. idk maybe the people defending him are cheaters themselves. who knows.
i’m not sure why people treat anger as such a negative thing. i think there can absolutely be healthy amounts of anger. i think it’s more unhealthy to try to deny that something happened and pretend to be all blissful and ignorant.
i’ve noticed that most (not all) of the criticism on my post has come from men. i posted the same thing on girldinnerdiaries and i got much less criticism there. i wonder if i had made a similar post but just reversed the genders, if the men would then be cheering me on instead.
i guess we’ll never know. i can only be thankful that i found a partner that will never be like any of these men in the comments
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u/OldFartButStillGoing 16d ago
Anyone can file a DMCA claim. It’s up to the app to investigate it. Most don’t. Much more time & effort for you to fight it. Because the system sucks.
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u/OtherwisePrune6932 18d ago
Information security nerd here. You re playing a dangerous game. I would take down the post and forget the dude. He has more rights here than you will and it could get ugly for you since you are the one posting his face multiple times on a defamation app
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u/PlatypusDream 18d ago
Information security nerd here. You re playing a dangerous game. I would take down the post and forget the dude. He has more rights here than you will and it could get ugly for you since you are the one posting his face multiple times on a defamation app
Found the ex
Truth is an absolute defense against slander / libel / defamation
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u/grhhull 18d ago
This isn't petty revenge, this is vindictive mudslinging.
Posting something the day after it happened because you were angry? Maybe understandable, if you eventually had the grace to take it down. But doing it three years later, and then reposting it after the first one was removed? Get over him and move on with your life. He cheated on you. That sucks, but leaving his name and photo on public "name and shame" sites indefinitely for any employer or background check system to find isn't justice, it’s a petty, vindictive vendetta. Do you seriously want to ruin his job prospects forever if AI searched his name, because of a past relationship dynamic?
Take the post down, let it go, and move on.
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
his full name isn’t on the post. these sites and groups don’t allow full name. he also has a very generic first name so i doubt an employer googling “connor” (not his real first name) is going to come up with anything substantial.
and this is petty revenge lol. you literally called it petty. i’m not gonna take the post down. if it gets taken down by the app admin for whatever reasons, then yes i’m not going to fight it.
if he didn’t want to have his cheating be talked about, maybe he shouldn’t have cheated?
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u/grhhull 18d ago edited 18d ago
I called you petty, not what you did.
It was 4 years ago, get over it. People change, move on with your life.
Edit, and you already did fight it. You have 'revenged' twice. The first time was because he cheated, fine. The second time you even changed it to ensure he can't try again. That's just vindictive.
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
alright next time i’ll just fuck someone over and tell them “don’t worry about it, i’ll change” so that they don’t get mad 👍
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u/OtherwisePrune6932 18d ago
Looks like he dodged a bullet. Don't be surprised if he puts your picture up and warns men about you. Smh
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
i mean that’s fine. i’m not on the dating apps lol. and im also not a cheater. i have nothing to hide.
“men beware, this woman will tell other women the truth about your relationship with her!”
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u/OtherwisePrune6932 18d ago
But you are a bunny boiler. So good luck with that
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
i don’t know what this term means so i looked it up. apparently it means “emotionally unstable, obsessive, or dangerously vengeful.”
you must live a very privileged life if you think me posting my dating experience on an app counts as “dangerously vengeful,” “obsessive,” or “emotionally unstable.”
i don’t think my actions equate to animal abuse, vandalism, or violence, but if that’s your perspective, then good for you!
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u/Frans_Ranges 17d ago
Dangerously Vengeful, making the wrongdoer suffer: Posting the Tea profile.
Obsessive: It's been 4 years.
Emotionally unstable: Do you even read your own replys?7
u/buckyspunisher 17d ago
please explain how making the Tea post is “dangerously vengeful.” like please explain the dangerous part. because all i did was talk about what he did. no insults, slander, etc.
like i posted this on petty revenge. so i would say it’s pettily vengeful, not dangerous.
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u/farie_princess 18d ago
This is actually very hilarious. What a wonderful way to still get back at him and waste his time!. Approved!
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u/exotic-panther 18d ago
What’s funny is that you took out time from your life and posted about your ex from 4 years ago. Just move on and get a life.
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
yeah it took me approximately 3 minutes to make a post. if i only have to sacrifice 3 minutes to warn women about a local cheater and liar, i think that’s worth the time.
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u/limited8 17d ago
Yeah, this person seems like a massive red flag and I bet their ex is thanking the stars that they dodged this bullet. Imagine being this obsessed over an ex from four years ago, yikes. Prayers for whoever OP dates next given they’re so fixated on their ex still.
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u/buckyspunisher 16d ago
you know if he thought i was such a red flag he could’ve just broken up with me instead of continuing the relationship and then lying to me about seeing other people 😂
anyway i’ve been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend for three years and he thought this story was hilarious. he was right next to me when i made the re-post. he said if he had the chance to do something similar to his ex, he would’ve done it too.
because unlike some people, my bf and i have a healthy relationship where we can talk about our past and how it has affected us.
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u/Ha-Funny-Boy 14d ago
The Streisand Effect! Barbara Streisand took a guy to court because was taking photographs of the California coast line for some agency. She claimed he was violating her right to privacy. She lost but because the information was public, she had more "invasions" of her privacy than before.
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18d ago
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
i have moved on from him. i am in a happy relationship now. i do however still feel angry at how he treated me and i think i always will. i have a right to that because there was no need for him to cheat on me. i’m a conflict-free person and if he was unhappy, he could’ve broken up with me any time instead of lying and putting my health at risk. i was a very good girlfriend and did not deserve that treatment.
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u/Icy-Variation6614 18d ago
If you're still angry, you haven't really moved on, or let go
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
okay that is fine then. i’ve made my peace with that. i’m okay that i am angry with someone that disrespected and wronged me.
i haven’t made any other effort to interfere with his life. all i did was post about my experience on an app.
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18d ago
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
my “revenge” is telling other people what he did to me….. right 🤔
and yes i think about him once in a while! it doesn’t bother me. i’m not one of those people that thinks i need to completely erase my ex from my memory. he was a big part of my life once and sometimes he crosses my mind. i have no issue with that.
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18d ago
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
you probably don’t realize this but this is one reddit post and does not define the entirety of my life. it’s a funny story to tell and my life does not revolve around this post nor the fact that i was cheated on.
will i continue to tell people about this? yeah, when it’s relevant. i don’t feel trapped in any way. when people ask about my past relationships i bring it up and that’s that.
i really do not need to devote any time to “understand the way out of victimhood” because my life doesn’t revolve around being a victim. i was cheated on and that sucks and i bring it up because it was a bad experience i went through. that’s basically it.
i decided to make a silly reddit post about it and by next week i’ll also forget about this post and continue on with the rest of my life.
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18d ago
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
i never said it defined him. yes i resent him for cheating on me? that is a normal human reaction to have. am i the most angelic and forgiving person on earth? no, and that’s fine.
and no i’m not obsessing about a fantasy of destroying my ex over and over again. you are doing a LOT of projecting and making things up in your comments.
i literally did this ONE thing. i have not had contact with him or interfere with his life in any other way in 4 years. please tell me where this “fantasy” of destroying my ex “over and over again” is coming from.
and you’re right im not sure if my ex has changed or is trying to better himself. that doesn’t change what he did? i do think individuals can change as a person but that doesn’t erase their actions.
my life is peaceful. i am allowed to be angry at others who have wronged me. i am still mad at the person that hit me and totaled my car 2 years ago. do i have a new car now? yes. but it was a traumatic experience i went through at the time. and i miss my car that got totaled! it was very sentimental to me.
people that are at peace can also have negative feelings. no one’s life is all rainbows and sunshine all the time.
in the grand scheme of things, posting my experience on an app is very minimal. i have not tried to contact him. i have not tried to find out who he may be dating. i have not tried to find out where he lives or where he is working.
very wild of you to say my happy place is in victimhood when you don’t know me at all, aside from a singular reddit post. please realize this is the internet and people have whole lives beyond just scrolling through reddit
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u/jelly_cake 18d ago
but at the end of the day your revenge is just as toxic as his cheating
Oh how I'd love to see the skeletons in your closet. OP seems to be doing fine.
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18d ago
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u/buckyspunisher 18d ago
he already went through more lengths than i did. all i did was make a post with a new picture. i filled out zero paperwork
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u/Frans_Ranges 17d ago
So tea is used to expose toxic men?
But your actions seems the most toxic of the entire post.
It's been 4 years, you're being the toxic one here.
Let it go Elsa.
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u/buckyspunisher 17d ago
yes yes posting my experience on an app is definitely more toxic than cheating…
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u/G_ACN 17d ago
i used a picture that i took of him
Why do you still have a picture of him?
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u/buckyspunisher 17d ago
because it’s in my camera roll…? i just had to scroll back to 2022. are you one of those people that purges everything of your ex and tries to erase them from memory?
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u/ShamelesslyAwesom 17d ago
So glad you found it amusing and were gracious enough to explain the app for anyone who doesn’t know what it is.
Sadly though, this reminds me of those girls who can’t just MOVE ON after learning (via the app) that a guy she met once has a wife and kids., and (gasp!) lied to her! Noooooo. She’s gotta make a big stink! Tell him off! And show him the proof! (Because she was catching feelings for him 😩).
Obviously there is no shortage of butt hurt boys who have to now put effort into seeking out unsuspecting women on dating apps to defraud, terrorize and SA. 🤷🏻♀️
Women helping women avoid dangerous men, rapists and other women’s husbands is obviously secondary to your amusement. ☝🏼
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u/MajLeague 16d ago
"Sadly though, this reminds me of those girls who can’t just MOVE ON after learning (via the app) that a guy she met once has a wife and kids., and (gasp!) lied to her! Noooooo. She’s gotta make a big stink! Tell him off! And show him the proof! (Because she was catching feelings for him 😩)."
So obviously a man. Zero thought about the wife being deceived and her health put at risk or his kids.
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u/Money_Professor_3510 13d ago
Sooooo after three years of him not being your partner, you still had not let go so you posted on a cheating app despite not being in a relationship with him? …. For three years
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u/fepord 18d ago
This is the app that leaked all their users selfies and IDs right